Chapter Twenty-One

~Rafael~

I had been pleasantly buzzed, enjoying the night and enjoying McKenna’s company even more. I never would have thought we would be able to hold such good conversation over the hours while slowly getting more and more plastered, but I was quite happy to be proven wrong.

But then I had stumbled out of the bathroom and onto the street to see some creep manhandling McKenna. At first, I thought it was just some drunk yahoo, but then she yelled that it was her ex and suddenly I was seeing red.

This was the man who made McKenna so terrified that she started a new job in a new city under a fake name. This was the man who racked up multiple police reports while torturing the poor woman.

My anger had broken in me far greater than it had in years. My skin was hot, my face was hot and all I wanted to do was make him feel all the pain that he deserved.

But then McKenna had asked me to spare him, and somehow, I managed to pull back. I didn’t want to. In fact, I wanted nothing more than to tear him into tiny pieces, but I knew what McKenna desired was more important than what I hoped to happen.

So, I let him go.

Thankfully, the taxi came soon, and I was able to help her into it, sliding in beside her and draping my arm over her shoulder. She curled into my chest, holding onto my shirt with a hand that was more claws than fingers. What did that sick, twisted monster do to her to make her so afraid?

“Thank you,” she whispered, voice barely audible.

“You don’t have to thank me for anything.” It was then that I realized that she didn’t know that I knew exactly who that was and what he did to her. I though about telling her, but it didn’t seem like the right time. “Whoever that asshole was, he had no right to talk to you like that. And no one, no one, has the right to lay hands on you without your permission.”

“If you weren’t there, I… I don’t even want to think about what might have happened.”

“You don’t have to,” I assured her, squeezing her gently. “You don’t even have to talk about it. We’ll go to my place, I’ll make you some tea, then we can swaddle you up in blankets and watch fun movies all night.”

She nodded, and I heard her tears start to subside. “Why aren’t you asking who that was? If he really was my boyfriend or not?”

“Because I figure that’s your story to decide when to tell, if at all. You don’t owe me any sort of explanation.”

“I…I want to tell you.” She took a deep breath and sat up enough to look at my face. “I did used to date him, a long while ago. We met while we were in college and he was the nicest person that I ever met. I was a freshman and he was a junior, so he showed me all of the ropes of college.

“I thought he was the coolest person ever, and totally out of my league. I was just some girl from the Midwest and he was a big shot on campus. Never in a million years did I ever think that he would be interested in me, but then he started dancing with me at a party and we were inseparable ever since.”

I listened to her intently, nodding where appropriate. I was honored that she was sharing this story with me but also concerned that I might emote the wrong thing. I wanted to be as understanding as possible, concerned that even the slightest move might alarm her or make her think I was judging her.

“It was amazing at first. For a whole year it was a full honeymoon and I couldn’t be happier. I thought I was the luckiest woman on Earth, and so did most other people.

“But then he graduated, and we moved off campus while I finished school, and things started to go downhill. At first it was just the occasional fight because he was stressed from not being able to find a job. Then he found a job, but my friends were annoying, or rude, or jealous of us, until one by one all I had was him.

“I know that’s so predictable, but it happened slowly, over time. I didn’t notice it at first and by the time I realized that I was all alone, I thought it was my fault. And he certainly helped reinforce that idea. Everything was always my fault. Either the dishes weren’t clean enough, or the food wasn’t right, or I was spending too much time on homework and not enough time on him.

“I dealt with it until graduation, but the constant emotional abuse wore me down. I felt worthless, and stupid and ugly; that no one would ever love me and that he was a saint for dealing with me.”

“You’re not any of those things,” I murmured, stroking her face.

“I know. I mean, I mostly know. But back then he was my first real relationship and I was so sure that we were meant to be.

“It was hell, thought. Certifiable hell. Eventually my hair started falling out, I was losing weight and I couldn’t sleep. I was miserable, and I just wanted to die. But I stuck with it! Like a goddamn crazy person. I just endured it, thinking it was all of my fault, until one night…” She paused, lip quivering ever so slightly. I couldn’t imagine that it was easy for her to tell me all this. Repeating the worst parts of her life no doubt forced her to relive them in her mind.

God, all of it just wanted to make me protect her that much more. She was a good, kind woman and she didn’t deserve this. Then again, I didn’t know many people who did.

“It’s okay,” I said. “You don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to.”

“No, I uh, I think I do. It helps to get it all out. So, he’s less like a bogyman and more like a bad memory.”

“If you’re sure, I’ll listen.”

She nodded, licking those perfect, full lips of her before continuing. “It was my birthday. We were supposed to go to a special dinner afterwards, just me and him at my favorite restaurant. He’d been so busy that we hadn’t had time to go out in ages. I got all dressed up, put on his favorite necklace of mine, and perfume, but when he walked in he said he just wanted to lay down and order a pizza.

“I was hurt. How couldn’t I be? But when I told him that I had been really looking forward to having a romantic evening together, he absolutely flipped. He lashed out at me and the next thing I knew I was on the ground. He then kicked me and told me I was ruining everything before disappearing into our room.

“It was then, in that moment, that I knew I had to go. I grabbed what clothes I had left in the hamper, my wallet, my phone and I ran.

“At first I got an apartment away from college. I started an entry level job on one of those video-phone services. It was going well, and I really thought I was hitting my stride. Until he suddenly showed up at my door again. He pushed his way in, saying that we were meant to be together, that he would forgive me for being so dramatic and running away.”

She snorted, making a broad gesture with her hand. It was the first flash of anger I saw since she started talking, and I hoped she held onto it. She deserved to be angry. “Can you believe that? He was going to forgive me! The entitlement and the delusions he had were insane! I tried to fight him off, but he was so much stronger than me. He shoved me inside and started screaming at me, then hitting me. I barely was able to get to my phone and call nine one one.

“I filed a report and that was supposed to be that. But it wasn’t. He showed up at my work, and I swore I saw him driving around my apartment complex. The cops said they could send someone to drive by but not really do anything until he made a move.

“So, I decided to be proactive. I broke my lease and got a new place. I got a new job as an intern. I was in a suburb as opposed to the city and I thought that finally, finally, he would leave me be.”

I knew where this story was going to go from here, but I didn’t interrupt. I had a feeling that this was therapeutic to her, and the last thing I wanted to do was to cut her off. It was difficult to hear such terrible, horrible things, but I was sure it was worse for her to remember them.

“He didn’t, big surprise. He called me for days, filled up my work voicemail, whatever way he could insert himself into my life, he would, until one day I came out of my apartment to find all of my tires slashed and my windows broken.

“I knew what he was doing. He was stranding me, making it so I couldn’t get to work, or to anybody really. He wanted me to ask him for help.

“I wouldn’t though. I refused. I was scared out of my mind, but I wouldn’t let myself be pulled into the mess. So, I ran again, this time to the next state. There I had peace for six months, and once more I thought that I was in the clear.

She laughed darkly, a bitter, knowing sound. “You know that phrase, fool me once, shame on me? Fool me twice, shame on you? Well, do they have one that goes up to five? Because that’s how often he chased me around. I was in a constant state of running, being found and running again when finally, I decided to come here, halfway across the country. It took me a while to find a job, but I was sure I was safe.” She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I guess I couldn’t even have that. I don’t know why he’s so obsessed with me. To hear him talk about me, you would think that I’m the scum of the earth.”

“That’s because he’s an abusive bastard,” I said, giving her another small, soothing squeeze. “But he’s gone now, and I have friends who can make sure that he stays gone.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, resting her head against my chest once more. “You don’t know how much this means to me.”

“I have an idea.”

The cab started to slow, and I looked out of the window, surprised to see that we were approaching my place. Had we really been riding for that long? It didn’t seem like it.

“Hey, we’re here.” I murmured to McKenna, who was still pressed against my chest, the wetness of her cheek making the natural fibers stick to my skin.

She nodded and allowed me to help her out of the vehicle. I couldn’t help but feel that something incredibly important had shifted between us. Some dynamic that I was still just slightly too drunk enough to fully comprehend.

But I also felt myself quickly sobering, and by the time we were up on my floor, I was almost a hundred percent back to normal.

McKenna also seemed just as lucid, using me not for support, just for comfort in my closeness. How alone she must have been, to be completely alienated by her abuser and basically abandoned by the same officers that were supposed to help her. If I was in her place, I don’t know if I would have been strong enough to survive as she did.

“I’ll make you some tea,” I said, setting her purse to the side and heading for the kitchen. But I hardly got two steps before her hands grabbed at my shirt and turned me to face her. Before I could quite comprehend what she was doing, her lips crashed to mine and she was kissing me.

My arms wrapped around her, pressing her to me. Our mouths moved against each other, hungry, desperate, and I felt my body responding to her.

My mind chimed in a different opinion though, wondering if this was taking advantage of her emotional state. It quite a bit of willpower, but I managed to pull away, letting my breathing return to normal.

“What’s wrong?” Her voice was tremulous as she looked at me, those beautiful eyes of her looking over me with worry. But she had nothing to worry about. I only wanted the best for her, to protect her from all the evil that seemed to happy to rush her way. “Do you not want me.”

“Oh, I want you,” I said, my mind flashing back to the last time our bodies had been so intimately entwined around each other. “But not enough to take advantage of you. You’ve been drinking, and you’ve had a traumatic evening. I wouldn’t want all of that to influence you to feel pressured into sleeping with me.”

“Pressured…” she echoed like I was crazy. “Rafael, what you have done tonight has been the sexiest thing that anyone has ever done for me. I don’t think I’ve ever been more turned on in my life.” She closed in on me, throwing her arms around my neck. “I want you to take me, right now.”

Her words went straight to my lower half, my blood rushing in double-time. I wrapped my arms around her waist once more, reveling in the feeling of my muscles against her soft frame.

“Are you certain?” Although I was plenty confident in the fact that I was attractive to women, that didn’t mean I didn’t want a clear and enthusiastic yes considering everything that had happened.

“Absolutely, with every single cell in my body.”

That was exactly what I needed to hear. Crashing my lips to hers, I fell into my body’s desire for her.