chapter SIX

Nix

“You know? You can read minds, too?” I switch my thoughts elsewhere before my epiphany of noticing her turns into a full-on boner.

“No. You’re just that transparent. Besides, I read somewhere that ‘what is desirable in a man is his kindness, and it is better to be a poor man than a liar’.”

This chick is too profound, too deep, for my liking.

“So, are you saying, I’m desirable?” I add in a teasing tone just to make her blush.

And she does, like a rainbow of different shades of red.

“I…I was just quoting from a book in the Bible.”

“And that is?”

“Um…Proverbs nineteen, verse twenty-two.”

“Hmm, interesting.” Before I can edit my thoughts, my mouth rebels against me. “Do I scare you? I mean, I don’t have a filter, and I don’t sugarcoat shit. I’ve snapped at you a couple of times. You must think I’m a complete asshole. Am I right?”

Damn it! I’m blubbering like a bitch.

Her lips are about to spread into a big smile, but she corrects herself. “No, I’m not afraid of you. And, just like you, I don’t lie.” She staves off a giggle. “Well, maybe when I was in middle school. But, now, I just say what’s in my heart. And what my heart wants to say is that I feel safe with you, even when you’re ornery.” This time, the confident ring in her voice makes me smile.

I cock my head. “I’m that bad, huh?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

I fix my eyes on her, hoping my next question won’t clam her up. “What do you remember about that night?”

She thinks for a few seconds, trying to find the right words to describe a fucked up situation. “Everything is a blur to me, but Joe’s actions stand out. Well, second only to the carnage that happened in my house.” Her lips tremble in memory. “He made me feel safe. He gave me hope…” Her voice trails off as she swipes a tear that found its way down her face. “He made me feel like everything would be okay. He tried his best to cover my eyes to spare me the gruesome fate of my family.”

“That’s my Pops for you.” For the first time since this morning, an authentic smile spreads across my face.

“You’re lucky you have someone like him in your life.” She sighs and clutches something under her blouse. She proudly shows me two pendants—an infinity symbol and a heart. “Mother Gertrude gave this to me. She said that her love for me is infinite. Endless. The heart is from my parents. My mother told me that no one would ever love me as much as they did.”

I don’t know if the tears trickling down her cheeks are of joy or sorrow.

When her face crumples in anguish, I surmise the latter. Slowly, she regains a handle on her emotions as she wipes her face dry. How she controls her emotions without falling into hysterics astonishes me.

“I am just so thankful he was there for me that night. He…” She stops when her voice begins to quiver again. “He is my angel on earth. I’m sure of it.”

“You were safe with him then, and you’re safe with me now.” My voice is steady, sure. “I know we’ve only just met, but for the next couple of hours, I’m all you’ve got. And you’re whom I need to protect, even with my own life. I know I’ve told you that I’m just doing my job, but”—she expectantly looks at me through wet eyes—“your life is more than a job. You…you’re more than a job.”

She nods and then looks away. Following her line of sight, I realize she’s looking at a bird gliding freely in the sky. I sneer internally at the being who created the bird for allowing such bloodshed to even happen to Grace.

“For the first few months in the convent, I wanted so badly to be that bird. The convent became my own personal cage. But, in time, I learned to accept my fate. I stopped questioning everything. I focused on understanding and accepting my situation instead.”

“That’s fucking bullshit, and you know it!”

She doesn’t miss the edge in my tone, and her greens slam against my soft browns.

“Watch your language. And, no, it’s not stupid.” Her calmness only fans the fire of my anger.

I scowl. “For God’s sake, you can’t even say bullshit! What happened to your parents and grandparents isn’t something you can understand or accept! The people who slaughtered your family are animals, and their actions are evil in its purest form. You must be fucked up or coked out of your mind to even understand that kind of evil!”

She pulls in a deep breath, composing herself. “What would my hatred change, Nix? It would only make me be like them. It would only imprison my heart.”

I purse my lips and scoff in rebellion. Every fiber of my being knows the evil I speak of. I felt it when I was seventeen. I saw it when my Marines died in my arms. And I swear to kill it right where it stands. How this woman can find acceptance in the evils of the world is beyond what my mind can even comprehend.

“I need air. Do you want to walk and stretch your legs?” I say over my shoulder.

Grace accepts the shift in our conversation. I take my time in walking around the car to sift through my irritation. While doing so, I make a quick scan of our surroundings before opening her door.

I offer my hand, which she takes hesitantly. She immediately drops it, which doesn’t surprise me one bit. We have not taken but ten steps when a blast of wind catches us by surprise. Grace pulls her cardigan tighter around her and leans toward me, using my body as a shield from the wind. Naturally, I pull her closer, and instantly, she stiffens under my hold.

“Let’s go back. We’re almost at the dock anyway,” I say, keeping my arms over her shoulders in a protective hold.

“Okay.”

My hand is on the door handle when a woman calls her name standing on the other side of our vehicle, “Grace.”

As soon as Grace looks her way, the woman snaps a picture and then takes a step back.

“Hey!” I push Grace behind me.

The woman who fits the bill of a homeless person freezes. She is wearing a thin sweater with holes and tattered jeans.

“Why don’t you get in to get warmed up, sweetheart?” I say to Grace over my shoulder without breaking eye contact with the woman.

Once Grace is safely inside, I sneer at the woman with fury in my eyes. “Who the fuck are you? Who told you to take a picture?”

The jittery woman steals a glance at the upper deck and then looks back at me.

“I’m giving you ten fucking seconds to answer, lady. Don’t make me ask you again.” The deathly tone in my voice causes her to gasp loudly.

“He…he paid me. I…I needed the money.” Her eyes dart frantically in different directions.

“Throw the damn camera to me! Now!”

Looking lost, she takes another step and scurries away just as people start walking back to their cars. She takes a few people down in her haste to flee.

I jump inside the SUV in complete survival mode. “Listen up. I need to get us out of here ASAP. Be alert, and hang tight, okay?”

Grace’s mouth opens and forms an O. She can only answer me with a stiff nod paired with bulging eyes. Obviously, her mental state is completely shot to shit.

“You’ve gotta sound off, Grace.”

When she regains control of her vocal cords, she squeaks out, “Um…yes. Yes! I understand.”

Cars begin to move forward in an orderly but slow fashion. Being on this ferry puts me at a huge disadvantage.

“Fuck! Come on, come on,” I mutter under my breath, impatiently tapping the steering wheel.

The car on my right stalls, leaving a wide berth between him and the car in front of him. I swerve to the right and lower my window, signaling for the car to my left to let us pass.

“Please, I need to take my girl to the hospital!”

The old man motions for me to go.

I gun it. The tires screech. The car flies.

And, finally, we hit dirt.