Cara stepped out of the pajamas and fanned her face.

She wanted to curl up in Nate’s lap, and shrivel and die. Doing both wasn’t an option, so if she had to pick, Nate’s anything would always win out.

Holy balls of cheese.

What was happening to her life?

She didn’t know where this was going, but damn it if she wasn’t going to hang on. Maybe something was going right in her life? There was disaster in her future, but...right now there was Nate. And that was all that mattered.

Cara grabbed her back up pajamas. A pair of Harley Quinn style sleeping shorts and a matching tank top. She covered her bare breasts, trying to calm her tits, and tried to remember if she’d packed a bralette. Her actual bra was still missing in Nate’s room somewhere.

She dug around in her bag, but couldn’t find the garment between her books.

No bra it was.

Nate had said he didn’t mind.

But that was probably because...

Her cheeks heated at the memory of his mouth. And fingers.

Crap, her tits were so not calming.

She tugged the shirt down.

Her nipples stood out against the red and black fabric.

She fluffed the shirt out.

Ug. She was going to have to power through this. There were worse things in life than stiff nubs, right?

Cara shoved her things back in her bag and held it to her chest. The apartment was comfortable, not too cool, so maybe she’d be okay.

Nate sat on the sofa chaise where she’d left him.

She longed to curl up in his lap, lay her head on his shoulder and forget the world. In these moments, with him, she had hope. He glanced up and smiled at her, the skin around his eyes crinkling.

Just like that, her nerves abated.

She let her bag plop on the ground and sat next to him. He slid his arm around her waist, tugging her closer and leaned his head against hers.

“Where were we?” he asked.

“Uh...you said you...loved me and I said I loved you back.” Look at her, being all grown up and saying things like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Cara...”

“Hm?” Something about his voice bothered her. She glanced up at him, unable to interpret this particular kind of brow furrow.

“You...have had sex before?”

“Well, yeah. I thought...I remember us...”

“Yeah. I remember. I just...”

“Thought I’d told you so I...looked cool? Or something?”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

“I have had sex. But not like that.”

“Like what?”

She swallowed and her cheeks warmed. He squeezed her, and waited her out.

“Like...uh...in a book.”

“A book? What kind of books are you reading?” His face scrunched up more.

“Romance books.”

“Like Fabio?”

“No, not like that. Like...normal people stuff.”

“Is...that good?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Okay. That’s good.”

“It was much better than...before. I mean, before you. Crap. I didn’t mean...” She covered her face with her hand and he chuckled, pulling her deeper into his embrace. He kissed the top of her head.

“I won’t pretend to not be jealous, but it’s not like I’ve been a monk.”

“Noticed.”

“I’m not—Cara.”

Again, something in his voice was different. She peered up through her fingers at him, unable to translate that sound.

“You’re the only woman I’ve wanted, but...I didn’t think you’d want me.”

“Did you ever think about asking?”

“No. You’re just...you had everything figured out and my life was one wreck after another. I’ve just...accepted that having you as a friend was more important.” He took a deep breath. “I need to...tell you something, though.”

“Oh?” Why did she not like the sound of that?

“I...haven’t dated anyone in a long time. But...I’ve had...arrangements. I knew that I was emotionally unavailable, but...I had needs.”

What the heck was she supposed to do with that information?

Her brain skipped through his statement, reordering his words. First, he loved her. He had been in love with her for years. Second, that made him unavailable to emotionally invest in anyone else. So third, there’d been women in his life he...he...slept with for companionship.

She’d read worse stories.

“Are you...do you have an arrangement with one of these people now?” she asked.

“No,” he answered with a vigorous shake of his head.

“Okay.”

“I just want you to know that.”

“Well, thanks, I think.”

“You’re fading on me, aren’t you?” He tucked her hair behind her ear, something he’d done a hundred times before. This time, she understood it.

How many other gestures had they traded, tiny examples of their feelings?

Oh, how blind they’d been.

Cara nodded. Not only had the trip and sex exhausted her, but her internal rollercoaster was wearing her out.

“Want me to take the couch?” she asked. They’d argued this over a couple of times, with no clear answer.

“No way.”

“You can’t sleep on the couch.” He was too big for that.

“I’m not.” He kissed her forehead and stood, hauling her up to her feet with him. “We’ll both sleep in the bed.”

“Oh. Yeah. That makes sense.”

He nudged her toward the bedroom door while he turned off the lights and put things away.

She should do something, help or...she didn’t know. Instead, she crawled in his big, Nate-sized bed and scooted all the way over.

If the zombie apocalypse happened, Nate was better suited to dealing with whatever came through the door than she was.

The room blinked into darkness. She lay with her back to Nate, listening to the rustle of his clothes hitting the floor, whooshing into the hamper. This was all so surreal. From sex to emotional declarations to this, she still hadn’t processed everything yet. It was...a dream. Wasn’t it?

The bed dipped under Nate’s weight and she held her breath as he settled in. His hand found her back and slid around her waist.

“You’re too far away,” he muttered.

In typical Nate fashion, he just pulled her across the mattress toward him, until his front pressed against her back.

“Goodnight, shortcake.”

“Night.”

He buried his head in the crook of her neck and she stopped breathing. He squeezed her a moment, muttering words she couldn’t hear into her hair, then eased his hold.

He’d said it again, hadn’t he?

“Nate?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.” She stroked her fingers over his wrist, the words feeling right on her tongue.

“I love you, too.”

Cara smiled into the darkness.

Cinderella had nothing on this.

Nate held the door to the Penny Arcade and Bar for Cara. She made a funny face at him and he chuckled as she walked by.

He deserved a medal for not suggesting they cancel on everyone and spend today at his place. In bed. Even if they just lay there, staring at the ceiling and talking, it would be heaven.

There were so many moments, memories he saw in a different light now.

Cara bringing bundles of cookies to school and leaving them in his locker.

Time spent doing homework when Cara could skip through the same stuff in ten minutes that took him an hour.

Cara learning to play Magic: The Gathering. He’d always known she hated it, but she’d played. Not because she didn’t want to be left out of the group, but because they’d play together.

Maybe he’d pull her away early. It wasn’t like they’d made plans for the whole day. They’d decided to start at the arcade for lunch and take it from there. If he said he had dinner plans for just them, would that go over well? They hadn’t come to a decision yet about what they should tell the others.

For one, Josh knew about Nate and Ellie. Nate would have to prepare Josh, or else his overprotective instincts would shift into overdrive. It wasn’t like Nate had ever admitted his feelings to anyone, save for a few people. Ellie was one of the few, because she had to know. And Nate needed someone to understand.

“Hey, Cara!”

Bryan stood from the long table at the front of the joint and squeezed Cara. Tamara and Stephen were there, along with Josh. They were just missing Samir and a few others who’d been invited out for the hell of it.

No Ellie.

Nate’s stomach stopped it’s churning. Ellie wasn’t a petty person, but she was hurting and that meant she’d lash out. Hopefully, she aimed those barbs at him, because he deserved it, but she could be volatile at times. Something Josh had already taken her to task on once during production meetings.

Nate hung back, watching Cara and the others. What if...what if she came out here? She was an accountant. There was a ready-made spot in their lives for her.

“Want to tell me why you’re staring that hard?” Josh sidled up to Nate, watching Bryan give Cara the arcade tour.

“Hm? Oh, nothing.” Nate shrugged.

“You know,” Josh’s tone turned dry, “you could just tell her you’re in love with her.”

Nate blanched and stared at his best friend. Had he just—? How did he—?

“Don’t look at me that way.” Josh crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s obvious.”

“How...when did you—”

“When you busted your knee, you were hopped up on so many drugs. You did a lot of talking.” Josh turned, following Cara’s progress around the room. “She’s not like you, you know?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? Not like me?”

“It means that unlike you, Ellie is up front about things.”

Shit. Fuck. Oh, no. What had she told him? What did Josh know?

Nate had never confided in his friends about his tastes, or the times he’d thought to explore those deeper. And now Josh wanted to throw that back in his face? Two could play that game.

“Daphne’s divorced now,” Nate said.

Josh flinched and his eyes went a bit wide.

“Yeah, didn’t miss that, either.” Nate crossed his arms over his chest, mirroring Josh’s pose.

“That has nothing to do with this. What about you and Ellie? What about...about the other shit?” Josh pressed his lips together.

“Ellie and me are friends. We’ve already talked about things. And the rest of it, is between Cara and I.”

“Is there a Cara and you?”

“Maybe.”

Josh shook his head.

“What? You have a problem with this?” Nate dropped his hands.

“I don’t want you to hurt her. I’ve seen Ellie’s—”

“No.” Nate shook his head. He knew what Josh was talking about and it made Nate more than a little sick to think that Josh assumed it was him. “That wasn’t me.”

“Then explain it to me.”

Nate opened and closed his mouth, the urge to defend himself warring with the right and wrong of airing Ellie’s personal business. The mental picture of those bruises, though... It took a lot for marks to show on Ellie’s darker skin. Toasted almonds, she’d called it once. Those black marks on her arms... Those weren’t fun marks or love bites.

“Talking about me, boys?”

Ellie’s voice might as well have been a Taser to Nate’s spine. He whipped his head around, gaping at her. Ellie’s eyes were rimmed in thick, black eyeliner, making her green eyes stand out even more. Her long, black hair was messy, teased and huge today. She’d dressed to be noticed in some sort of wild, printed legging that looked like scales and long shirt thing with The Little Mermaid on it.

“Josh, my sex life is seriously none of your business.” She patted Josh’s arm. “But since you seem to need to know, those bruises you were so concerned about were from my ex. We got together for a weekend. Things didn’t go well and Nate was kind enough to pick up the pieces. Thanks for asking.”

She sauntered past, headed straight for Tamara...and Cara.

Oh, boy.

“What...just happened?”

Nate whipped his head around, staring at Bryan. Where the hell had he come from?

“Is that true?” Josh asked.

“Did I understand all that right?” Bryan asked.

“Both of you, shut up.” Nate gulped, his gaze on Ellie as she extended her hand toward Cara.

“Patio. Now.” Josh dragged Nate away, when all he wanted to do was shadow Cara around the floor.

Josh, Bryan and Nate stepped out into the sunshine. They were the only ones out here this early in the day.

“What the hell is going on?” Bryan blinked from Nate to Josh. “Is someone hurting Ellie?”

“That’s what I want to know.” Josh placed himself between them and the door.

“No one is hurting Ellie,” Nate said.

“What happened?”

“Josh—she just said—”

“I know what Ellie said, but I want to hear it from you.”

Bryan stood there, eyes wide, watching them.

“Look, it was back after she came to work for you. It’d been...a month? The stuff with Adam was bad. After work, she made some comments to me—I can’t remember them, but I know...they bothered me. So, I gave her my number, said if she needed a friend, if something happened, give me a call.”

“You slept with her,” Josh said.

“Not then, I didn’t.”

“You’re sleeping with Ellie?” Bryan’s shoulders drooped.

“He is.” Josh crossed his arms over his chest. Again. The big protector.

“Not anymore,” Nate said. “That weekend Ellie called me. I went to this house, picked her up and—I could already see the bruises. I was worried about her. I was going to take her back to her place, but she got...hysterical, so I took her to mine. I didn’t touch her.”

“When did you start sleeping together?” Bryan’s tone was weird. Off. Had something happened with Ellie? Was she...no, she wouldn’t sleep with two guys at once. She might call herself heartless, but she wasn’t cruel like that. So...was it Bryan? Did he have a thing for Ellie? It was hard to tell with Bryan. He liked everyone, and everyone liked him.

“A few weeks later.” Nate scrubbed his hand over his face.

“What about Cara?” Josh’s gaze narrowed.

“Wait—Cara, too?” Bryan frowned, his posture going tense. Different from how they talked about Ellie.

“Not like that,” Nate said quickly. “Ellie knew from the start that...I was emotionally unavailable. She knows I love Cara. And Cara knows...I’ve had...arrangements.”

“Wait—you were with Ellie? And now you’re with Cara? When the hell does this stuff happen, man?” Bryan wasn’t even trying to be quiet.

“Keep your voice down, man.” Nate scowled.

“Do you sleep with all our friends?” Bryan demanded.

“No.”

“Tamara?”

“No,” Nate snapped.

“Does Cara know about your—”

“Josh.” Nate stared at his friend, daring him to finish that sentence. “I’ve told Cara everything she needs to know.”

“And you weren’t going to tell us?” Bryan asked.

“I didn’t know what to tell you about Cara. We’re...working it out. I can’t tell you what I don’t know.” Nate wished he could rewind the day, cancel these plans. He couldn’t see Cara and Ellie from out here. What were they doing?

“And Ellie? What about that? How long was that going on?” Bryan’s face was a bit red, his lip curling.

“A couple months, man. It wasn’t serious.”

“Is that how you’re going to treat Cara? Nothing serious?”

“No,” Nate snapped. “It’s different with Cara. Ellie and I had a deal. We were friends. No emotions. Just—sex. If she found someone, we were done. There wasn’t anything to tell you about.”

“You’re a dick, man. I’m out of here. Fuck you.” Bryan stalked out of the patio gate, into the parking lot.

Josh and Nate watched him go, climbing into his sport wagon and peeling out.

“Never saw that coming,” Josh muttered.

“Tell me about it.” Nate scrubbed a hand over his face. “If I’d have known...”

“I don’t think Ellie knows.”

“Fuck, Josh, I didn’t mean for it to be this way.” Nate sat down on a bench and leaned against the table at his back. How did everything spin so far out of control.

“Let me deal with Bryan.” Josh turned to face Nate. “You should stop this thing with Cara, before you hurt her.”

Nate gaped at his only remaining best friend. Seriously? He thought he was going to give up Cara? Like hell. He’d cut his balls off before he willingly gave her up. As for Josh’s concerns about the rest, Nate didn’t need the handcuffs and rope. So long as he had Cara, nothing else mattered. Maybe not even these so called friends of his.