Cara was more than a tad bit proud of herself. She hadn’t melted from embarrassment, she wasn’t hiding in a closet, she was actually...almost adulting. Oh, she still wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole, but since that seemed unlikely, here she stood. Next to Nate’s bed while he hauled a narrow, rectangular tub out from under the frame.

He set it on the bed and flipped the top off.

“It’s all cleaned,” he said.

“Cleaned?” She blinked at him. That hadn’t even entered her mind yet, but...that made sense.

“Yeah, I mean, none of this is real leather or fancy, but I do clean it.”

She eyed the fuzzy handcuffs, which were also padded. Bonus. There were a few pieces that looked like they might have been leather. Pleather? Some sort of vinyl material?

Cara inhaled and reached into the box.

She wanted to understand.

They were both uncomfortable as hell, but...this was Nate. And this was something he’d never shared with her before. He was trusting her. Running away wasn’t an option.

The sinister, black cuffs were really some sort of velvet-covered material. Soft.

The long cord looking thing was a satin strip of fabric.

“It’s...fantasy?” she asked.

“Yeah. That’s a good word for it.”

“Have you tried...more stuff?”

“You mean, have I tried more kinky, BDSM stuff?”

“Yeah.”

“I did, but that’s way over my head.”

If she got this all right, Nate’s fantasy was not so much restraining, as being in control, in order to make his partner happy.

He’d done this with other women. Women he’d trusted with this part of himself, and not her. That stung a bit. She’d told him everything. Well, almost everything. Yeah, he’d flat out asked her a few weeks after she lost her virginity and they’d discussed it in very broad strokes, but nothing like this. Like how they were talking now.

In a way, it made sense though.

Nate appeared gruff and tuff on the outside, but when he let someone in, he was the people pleaser. The happier he made someone else, the happier he was. He was a giver.

“You don’t...like...spank or hit or anything?” She set the cuffs down and picked up the long length of satin. The slippery fabric slid through her fingers, cool to the touch.

“No.” He shook his head.

This was something Nate liked. She didn’t fully understand it, but...she wanted to make him happy. It was a circle, to do one, she had to do another.

What was she afraid of?

Not Nate. He would never scare her. She knew him.

So what was there to make her stomach churn like this?

She couldn’t put her finger on why or what would have her nerves so wound up.

Nate wanted her, or at least that was what it sounded like, and she wanted him. The rest was all...stuff.

Cara twisted the satin around her wrists. What would it feel like?

She’d read a few kinky books, usually on accident or from recommendations. A lot of it didn’t appeal to her, but some of it did. There was a brutal honesty on the page she could appreciate. The kind of strength it took to admit what someone wanted was...huge. It wasn’t like Nate wanted her to do things, just...let him have his way with her.

She didn’t know what that would mean, but it was Nate. It couldn’t be bad.

“So...” Cara lifted her gaze to Nate. He’d been staring at her this whole time. “Do you want to tie me up? Now, I mean?”

She lifted her hands, the satin wrapped around her wrists in an accidental binding. Her stomach did little flip-flops, her heart pounding against her sternum.

This was Nate. Her Nate. If she couldn’t be brave with him, then she was metaphorically screwed.

“Cara...” Nate did that thing again, where he rubbed his hand across his jaw, then across his eyes as though he were going to push his glasses up. Only, he wore contacts most of the time now.

“Is that wrong? Should I not...I don’t know.” Crap. Was it supposed to be a him thing? Was she not supposed to suggest it? Was it a role-gender issue? Had she stepped out of line?

“No, it’s not wrong.” Nate grasped her hand and the tail of the satin, tugging her closer.

“Oh.”

He wrapped his arm around her waist, capturing her hands between their bodies. He looked down at her...kind of funny. She didn’t know that look, but she wanted to. It was warm and a little intense.

“It’s a lot to wrap your head around in one night,” he said.

“Yeah, but I go home tomorrow. We don’t have a lot of time to really...understand.”

“You don’t have to.”

“But you want to?”

“...yes.”

“So...show me? Make me understand.” It was the kind of bold request Cara could never utter...to anyone else. But this was Nate.

“Okay,” he whispered.

She swallowed.

Awesome.

Great.

It was one thing to say she was in, but—what now? There wasn’t a rule book, she hadn’t studied for this. All she had to go on was Nate’s lead and she was horrible at figuring out the clues.

Nate took her hands in his and began unwrapping her wrists, freeing her from the satin.

“I’m going to undress you, then I’ll tie you to the bed. Something simple you can pull on and get out of, okay?” He watched her face while his fingers worked, the slide of satin soothing the heat in her body.

“O-okay.” Well, at least she didn’t have to guess what was going on anymore.

“You don’t have to, Cara.”

“I...think I want to. I mean...I want you to be happy. This makes you happy.”

“You make me happy.”

“Yeah, but...so would this, right?”

“Not if you don’t want to.”

“But I think I do,” she said slowly. How to put it into words? She was barely beginning to understand this herself. She wanted to experience all of Nate, even his deepest desire.

“You can change your mind.” He tugged the satin from between her arms and laid it on the bed.

“I’m not going to.” That felt right. Yeah, she was unprepared for this moment, but she was all in where he was concerned.

Nate pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Can you put that away?” she blurted before she could stop herself.

“I was turning on music. Would you rather me not?”

“Oh. Okay. Fine.”

“I know I was on my phone a lot more than I wanted to be today. Sorry about that.” He sighed.

“Stuff with Ellie?”

“Yeah. We’re all pretty protective about her.”

“I’m glad she has friends to look out for her.”

Nate pressed a few buttons and soft music began to play through the living room speakers. He set his phone in the top drawer of the dresser and closed it. The amount of relief that gave her was silly. She’d been jealous of a phone all damn day. It was unfair. But now, he was hers.

He cupped her face in his hands, his touch sending electrical sparks shooting through her body, down to her toes. He leaned in, gently kissing her lips. She lifted up, and he retreated, keeping the contact light.

“You’re going to get a lot more than you bargained for tonight, Cara.”

“Probably.” Heat wrapped around her neck, working its way up into her cheeks.

Nate stroked his fingers over her cheeks and throat, his touch a cool contrast to the way her blood simmered just below the surface.

“The books you read, they use safe words?”

“Yeah.” Oh, God. She did not want to discuss some of the titles she’d read. Okay, most of them.

“You say stop, I stop, okay? That’s how this works.”

She nodded. Chances were she was going to lose the ability to speak at all.

“Cara? This is the important part. You have to tell me you get it.”

“Yes. Okay.”

“Good.” He grasped the hem of her shirt, tugging it back and forth. “Arms up.”

Directions she could do, so long as he didn’t ask her to speak. Her throat was already closing up and her mouth going dry.

Nate lifted her shirt off slowly, as though he were afraid to spook her, or give her time to change her mind. He tossed the shirt toward the laundry hamper, staring into her eyes.

The lights were still on.

He could see every bony inch of her body.

And all he looked at was her eyes. As though he were staring into her soul, her heart.

He pulled her to him again, this time his arms around her waist, his hands sliding down to cup her bottom, and set his lips on hers. There was more heat behind the touch. He licked her lips and dug his fingers in. She held onto him, her head beginning to spin.

Nate slid one hand into the waistband of her leggings, then into her panties, palming her ass. He worked the clothing down and knelt, stripping her clothes down her legs.

She grasped his shoulders to both keep her balance and fight the urge to cover herself. He leaned in and kissed her hip, her stomach as he slid his palms down her legs, letting gravity do most of the work now. He held the leggings and she stepped out of them, somehow managing to not fall on her face.

He stroked his hands up and down her body, leaving a trail of sensitized flesh in his wake. Her nipples tightened, chafing once more against her bra while he touched and kissed her from knee to ribs. She pressed her thighs together, hyper aware of how her body reacted to him.

Nate pushed up, rising above her. She swallowed and watched him, more than a little drunk on the way he made her feel. He hooked a finger in the front of her bra and released the catch. She shivered at the first cool touch of air. He ran the backs of his fingers over her nipples, the light, barely there touch enough to make her gasp.

“Cara?” he whispered her name.

“Hm?”

“You’re beautiful.”

He tipped her chin up and suckled her bottom lip into his mouth. She groaned and swayed toward him. She’d never had anyone kiss her like Nate. She’d also never really been in love with anyone else. This...it was a heady, drunk feeling. She wanted him. Bad enough she didn’t care what he did, so long as he was with her. Kissing her.

Nate took a step back and she followed. He guided her to the side of the bed, their mouths never once parting.

He straightened, breaking the kiss. She couldn’t hold back the whimper.

“Lay on the bed.” He patted her bottom.

Cara scrambled up, losing a little of her inhibitions. The prospect of sex with Nate was clearly more motivating than her awkwardness. Who knew?

She lay back, staring up at Nate kneeling next to her. He reached down and pulled off his shirt. No, he wasn’t in the kind of shape he’d been when he was in the Navy, but he also wasn’t preparing himself to face danger on a daily basis. She’d take this softer version, any day of the week. Even before the crazy football work-outs he and Josh had started, Nate had a way of making her feel safe and protected by just being himself.

Especially now.

Yes, she was nervous, but she wasn’t scared. He didn’t intimidate her in a bad way.

She was...excited.

Nate grabbed the length of satin from the foot of the bed and straddled her waist. She sucked in a breath, but he didn’t squash her. He just looked at her, the tail end of the satin whispering over her heated skin.

“I forgot to warn you that this stuff is slippery. If you pull on it, it might tighten. That’s another reason why I tie this stuff up in a way that you can get out of it if you need to, okay?”

She nodded.

“Cara-bear, I need you to say yes, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Yes. Satin is slippery. I get it. Hurry up.” She was pretty sure she’d read that somewhere, in a dark corner, her cheeks burning holes through her soul because she couldn’t stop reading.

Nate chuckled and took her hands in his. He wrapped the satin around one wrist, tied some sort of knot and then looped the rest of the length through the headboard slats. He repeated the same with her other wrist, then guided her hands to hold onto the part looped between the boards.

“If you want to hold on or pull, do that here.” He guided her right hand to her left wrist and put the tail end in her hand. “If you need to untie yourself, pull the end. It’s a simple slipknot. Pull that.”

She tugged and the satin went slack.

“See?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

Nate re-tied the wrist and let go.

He still had an awful lot of clothing on for sex.

“This is the fun part.” He planted his hands on either side of her chest, watching her face. “Now I do whatever I want.”

“Uh...but I thought...”

Nate leaned down, kissing her deeply, swallowing her words with his mouth. His tongue stroked hers. His fingers plucked at one nipple, then the other.

Oh—what was she thinking?

Thinking was so overrated, compared to feeling.

She grasped the satin in both hands and curled her toes into the sheets. The way he kissed her made her feel...sexy. Desirable. As though he wanted her.

Nate kissed her neck, robbing her of his mouth, but his fingers were still hard at work. No one had ever paid much attention to her breasts. They were too small to be interesting, and yet, he spent more time between them than he had on her mouth. The music beat out a counter rhythm to the way her heart was pumping.

“Nate.” She groaned his name, lifting her chest.

He chuckled with his lips around a nipple. She gasped and shifted, losing a little more of her mind, of her reservations, the longer he teased her too sensitive skin.

Tying her wrists at least solved one problem. She didn’t have to figure out where to put her hands, she just had to hold on. But it also meant she couldn’t pull him up, or urge him to get a move on already. She wanted him, and she wanted him now.

He kissed down her sternum, his hands stroking between her legs now, easing them apart.

Except he was still half-dressed.

What the hell?

Nate pressed his lips to her stomach and she sucked in a breath. His fingers traced her slit and she trembled. The memory of sex was still fresh enough in her mind she could recall the feel of him. How they’d fit. And in a few moments—

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

“Nate?” Her voice hitched up at the end.

She lifted her head, staring down at his broad shoulders. He shifted, pushing her legs up onto his back.

“Relax,” he whispered.

This was not a relaxing pose. She hated the yearly girly doctor visits. Why the heck did he have his face between her—

Oh...no...

No, no, no—this didn’t happen in real life.

Did it?

He licked—at least she assumed that was his tongue—the length of her slit, pressing against her. She gasped, her nerves trying to sort between the sensations. Her muscles tightened, especially low in her stomach. Her head swam, her toes curled, her fingers dug into the material.

Breathe.

Nate plunged his fingers into her and his mouth found her clit, rubbing his tongue over the needy bundle of nerves. All the air whooshed out of her lungs on a moan she couldn’t control.

Thought stopped, all she did was feel. This moment. The way he touched her.

His fingers stretched her, stroking her inner walls, curling deep within her. There was nothing hesitant or unsure about the way he touched her. He knew what he was doing, and she was completely caught off guard. She shifted, seeking some way to move, but he had her hips captured under his forearm, keeping her at the mercy of his mouth. All she could do was...lay here. And feel.

She crossed her ankles over his spine, hugging him closer. That much she could do.

His tongue—it had to be—rubbed against her clit, bold, sure strokes.

Her breath hitched and she shifted as much as he’d allow.

“Oh—Nate...” She chanted his name, but couldn’t get the rest out. She was stuck on a loop, a word, him.

Colors blossomed behind her eyelids and she groaned, holding on for dear life as the pleasure of it all threatened to drown her.

If she died, at least she’d die a happy woman.