I drove in a way that was a little too unfamiliar to me. Another little reminder of days gone by. Sitting there at a stop sign for two seconds when there was no other traffic coming. Looking up at a light, waiting for it to turn red. Up around the mountain, it was just roads. At crossroads you had to be smart enough to watch and make sure nobody was coming so you didn’t get your ass hit.

There were apartments that gave way to houses. And nestled in the housing developments were big parking lots with grocery stores, cell phone stores, and other random shit people needed. Gas stations that doubled as convenience stores. Places to grab a coffee on the go, the smell of sweat and grease mixing in the air, making my mouth almost water.

But I had to get out of there.

And I did.

The town faded into my rearview mirror and the horizon swallowed it all up.

I was back on the main road that connected the two counties. Off that main road, however, were several back roads. Only a couple mattered to me. One road lead to the bar from last night. Another took me home to my cabin in the woods.

I didn’t know what I was thinking staying there with Lara. Letting her tell me her shit. Spending the night. Waking up and making her breakfast.

And why the fuck did my phone have to go off with her there? Of all people… Michelle texting me about Adley. Like I needed those demons kicked up. It wasn't my fault she was afraid of Dane and if she wanted me to come kick the guy’s ass, I certainly would. But everyone made it very clear years ago what it all meant. What my position was. What I had done wrong. That it was all my fucking fault that she was gone. They were all quick to just jump to conclusions and take the word of those who claimed to have done everything they could.

Not me.

That’s why I was on that mountain. That’s why I sat at her desk with a map.

I was going to find her and fix everything. I shouldn’t have missed last night up on the mountain.

Something could have happened.

She could have passed through while I wasn’t there.

My hands pulled at the steering wheel.

Anger wasn’t good enough of a word.

Lara wanted to know about her. That was the next logical step in whatever was happening between me and Lara. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t have another person tell me how I was wrong. How I was crazy. How I gave up a good life for something else.

I gritted my teeth and focused on the road.

I only looked in the mirror one time, five minutes later.

Someone was behind me.

It was Lara…

* * *

I had two choices. I could keep driving and have her follow me to the cabin. Or I could pull over and say everything I had been holding back.

Cutting the wheel to the right, I made my fucking decision.

I understood it. Lara had her heart broken. The guy who did it was a total asshole, sure. Getting someone pregnant on the side was a dirty thing to do. I wouldn’t tell Lara to get over it because some things you don’t get over.

But me?

She needed to get over me. Right now.

I didn’t want to hear her say my name again.

Not Osiris. Not Syi. Nothing.

She needed to go cut flowers and I needed to go cut down trees.

I got out of my truck with the engine still running. Lara got out of her car, leaving the door open. She ran toward me as I walked slowly, my hands balled up tight into fists. A little wind slapped us both across the face. It grabbed a few strands of her hair and made it look even messier.

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked.

“This,” she said.

She killed the distance between us and grabbed at my flannel shirt. She pulled at me, unable to move me, but that wasn’t her goal. Pulling hard enough, Lara jumped and damn near climbed up my body to get to my lips. Her lips touched mine and I felt an angry fire burning even hotter.

I grabbed her by the waist and held her, turning, pinning her against the side of my truck. I broke the kiss and backed away from her.

“It doesn’t work that way,” I said. “Whatever you think…”

“You have your own demons to hide,” Lara said. “I’m sorry if I crossed the line. I swear to you, Syi, I wasn’t trying to do anything to you. I wanted to thank you.”

“Again with the ‘thank you’ bullshit.”

“No,” she said. She grabbed my shirt. “I’m thanking you for not telling me what to do when I told you what happened. Just because I’m lost doesn’t mean I want to be found.”

“Same goes for me,” I growled. “I don’t want to be found.”

“But we found each other, Syi. That means something.”

“You got drunk and got lucky. More than once.”

“That’s called fate.”

“That’s called a drinking problem. That’s called me being far too nice.”

“Don’t be like that,” she said. “Don’t push it away. I’m not going to ask you a question. I am going to wonder. And maybe I’ll get lucky again and you’ll tell me.”

“Or maybe fate will,” I said, knowing I was being a smart ass to her.

She was fragile and I was kicking her feelings around. Only because I was in the same position and I wanted to project on her.

I grabbed for her hand and made her release her hold on my shirt.

“What do you think this is?” I asked. “A game? A joke? You want me to tell you everything I lost in my life? Why? So you could not feel so alone?”

“Is that wrong?” she asked. “If we’re both lost, Syi, then we can be lost together. And fuck everyone else.”

“Fuck everyone else,” I whispered. “Right.”

“I loved him, Syi. I loved him in a dangerous way. A way that left me blind and left my heart exposed. He’s with her right now. He’s with her and their baby right now. The baby is probably having her first bottle of the morning while he’s making her breakfast. Sometimes I can’t stop thinking about it. Other times… no… you. You, Syi, you.”

“Me?” I asked.

She put her hand on my chest. She spread her small fingers wide, no match for all the long hours up on that mountain moving logs by hand. I had been built before, thanks to a gym membership but now I was a monster, thanks to real work.

“You,” she said. “When I’m with you, I don’t think about it. And if I do, it’s a passing thought. It’s the only hope I’ve had that it’ll go away for good. I just wondered if you felt the same with me.”

Shit.

Slowly, my head moved left to right. “No, sugar. It’s not that way for me at all. I see you and I see this beautiful woman. Your messy hair right now drives me a little crazy. Your eyes are clear and show maybe today will be a good day. When you put your hand on my chest it reminds me that my heart is still beating. So I get all that shit, sugar. But what you want from me is not going to happen.”

“You have no idea what I really want, Syi,” Lara said.

She was sexy. Damn, my heart and mind were punching at each other like two weak fighters just trying to survive another round. She was vulnerable, too. Capable of making decisions that would end up being very fucking wrong.

I was that decision.

I walked away from Lara to the back of my truck. I opened the bed and stood there, staring at it.

“Syi, I don’t know what made you go up there,” she said. “Whatever it is, I respect it. I’m sorry for what I saw on your phone, but if there are people out there who hurt you like I got hurt… is it that wrong to want to share it?”

“You don’t know a thing,” I said. “Trust me, Lara, you don’t know a fucking thing.”

She moved toward me again.

“Then tell me something.”

I curled my lip.

The way I saw it was this… you find a rattlesnake in the woods. The damn thing warns you by rattling. Your job is to walk away. You don’t. You get closer. The rattlesnake gives you a warning snap at the air. Then you get closer again. You’re the dumb one… the snake has warned you, sugar. And if you keep fucking with the snake you’re going to get bit.

I grabbed Lara by the waist and pulled her close to me. I lifted her and put her on the bed of the truck. My hands slid around to her lower back and pulled her tight against my body. Her hands touched my chest again. Her lips parted with a silent sigh.

I kissed her.

Right there on the side of the road.

Because I was pissed off at myself. Because everything she said about herself and me was how I felt, too. Most of what I said and felt was a complete fucking lie. My search for her would never end, but having something more than comfort with me wasn’t such a bad thing.

I kissed Lara harder. Faster. Our lips parting, our tongues coming together. I commanded the kiss, towering over her. Her hands eased up my body and grabbed at the unkempt scruff on my face. She dug her nails to get to my skin as I dug my tongue deeper into her mouth, chasing away anger, pain, trying to replace it with something better.

And that something better was rumbling deep inside my gut.

I felt myself getting rock hard, pressing against the inside of my jeans, making me uncomfortable.

I would have taken her right there, right in the bed of the truck, right on the side of the road.

But I decided to give her one last chance. One last chance to walk away from the rattlesnake before she got bitten for good.

I pulled away with a growl.

I stroked her face with the back of my hand.

And I gave her her final choice.

“Go home, sugar… or follow me to my cabin.”

* * *

She fucking followed me to the cabin.

There was nothing else to say about it. It was her decision and now she was going to pay the fucking price for it. She wanted a wild mountain man? She fucking had it now.

I grabbed her as she got out of her car, leaving her door open, her keys dropping to the ground. I lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around me. She was staking her claim, not wanting me to let her go.

We kissed. Fucking fast and hard, both of us knowing this could end in a heartbeat. Someone could possibly come to their senses and stop this crazy shit from going down.

But it wasn’t going to be me.

I carried her to the cabin, opened the door, and made a line right for the bedroom.

This was about need. About instinct. About a feral wildness that burned inside me and needed to come out.

I grabbed at the back of her legs and peeled her off me, dropping her to the bed. Lara moved quickly toward me, jumping to the edge of the bed and grabbing for my jeans. She ripped open my belt and my jeans within seconds. Her hands moved up under my shirt, nails touching my skin, staring up at me with a desperation that was just too much to hold back on.

I took her by the arms and stood her up. She hurried to unbutton my shirt and I gave her a few seconds to do so. When it was open, her hands explored again, touching my chest, down to my stomach, her hands flirting with my open jeans.

That’s when I grabbed her by the wrists and threw her hands to the side.

With a wicked fury, I tore her shirt off, threatening to fucking rip it into shreds if need be. I threw the shirt somewhere and touched her shoulders, inching down to her breasts. She pressed her chest against me, my big hands cupping her chest, making her look smaller than she really was.

I kissed her neck and moved down. Kiss after kiss down her chest, my hands sliding behind her back, unsnapping her bra. I pulled her bra off her body and she let it fall to the floor.

My hands touched at her ribs, holding her there as my tongue continued to taste her. My mouth moved over her right breast, engulfing her. The tip of my tongue racing up and down, left and right, feeling her nipple harden to my touch. My other hand crept up and I held her breast, my thumb mimicking on her nipple what my tongue did to the other.

She let out a shuddering groan and pushed my shirt off my shoulders. Her nails dug into my skin but it didn’t hurt. She’d need a lot more strength to break my skin.

But not a lot to break my heart.

I growled as I pulled away, sucking against her breast, making her cry out.

My mouth popped free and I looked at her.

Topless in my bedroom, more beautiful than ever. A deepness burning in her eyes.

I pushed her to the bed and let her fall.

She grabbed for the sheets as I lowered down to the floor. My hands grabbed the top of her pants and pulled. She lifted her ass off the bed and I took the liberty of stripping both her pants and panties down her creamy white legs. I let her kick the clothes off as my hands touched at the insides of her knees. Parting her legs, her perfect body finally fully exposed to me. I could see her glistening, a wet sweet flavor that was already attacking my senses.

My game wasn’t in fucking foreplay. My game was in fucking pleasure.

I moved forward with purpose and force. My hands squeezing at her inner thighs, making her jump and suck in a breath. My eyes locked with hers as I closed in and tasted her. With just the tip of my tongue, I claimed my territory with a straight line down and back up. Tasting her honey as she poured with ease, sticky to my tongue, my cock writhing to get out of my jeans.

I brought my right hand up to her lower belly and spread my fingers wide. She quickly put her hand to mine and tried scratching at me again. My thumb was down far enough that I pulled, exposing the nub of her clit.

She let out a whimper as my tongue went for a kiss she’d never forget.

My lips first. Then my tongue. Her hips bucked at me, her legs trying to close.

No way, sugar. You fucking wanted this.

I turned my head a little and took her into my mouth. Her soft folds, her hard clit, savoring all of her. My tongue easing down and thrusting forward, feeling her tightness. I made a big circle, wrestling with her, loving the way she moved her body and the sounds she made.

As I moved back to her clit, I let both of my hands climb up her body. Around to her ribs, holding her tight, pulling her close to my mouth. Moving my head as though I was nodding at some question, but I was just tasting all of her. Giving her no fucking chance to breathe. Her only purpose right then was to come. To find that release and let it the fuck go.

With each passing second of her sweetness dripping into my eager mouth, I felt more alive. Angry, yeah. But I was alive.

She thrusted against my tongue, wanting more.

So I pressed harder. I moved my tongue faster. I was in fucking control.

She lifted her ass off the bed as her body started to shake. I moved my hands over her breasts, cupping her tight. She lowered herself back to the bed, her hands going to mine, her ass still off the bed, rising higher by the second. I stayed right with her, taking her to the edge.

The moment she hit climax, her ass crashed to the bed as she cried out.

I was rewarded with a fresh warmth that my tongue lapped up as though I hadn’t had a drink in a week.

I couldn’t stop myself.

She was better than whiskey, which seemed fucking impossible.

I growled as she kept grinding, her body moving with such precision that I felt like I was going to lose myself.

I took my right hand away from her breast and grabbed the front of my jeans, shoving them down to my knees.

I pulled away from her tender pussy and stood up.

My cock was impressive, befitting my size, and I knew it.

The look on Lara’s face was priceless.

I grabbed her by the hips. “Sugar, reach back for the nightstand…”

Lara then shook her head. “No. It’s okay. I’m okay. I swear. Don’t stop, Syi.”

I gritted my teeth.

Fair enough, sugar.

I pulled her to the edge of the bed and had a surprise for her. With a swift move, I turned Lara to her right side. I grabbed her left leg and held her where I wanted her. I bent my knees, grabbed my cock with my free hand, and eased forward.

The swell of heat that attacked me made me hiss.

I readied myself as I touched her. My cock throbbed, craving more.

I pressed forward and began to enter her.

Lara turned her head to the side and grabbed for the sheets.

So I turned her the rest of the way around. I took hold of her curvy hips and pulled her back to me as I thrust forward.

I felt like my body was going to explode.

This was so fucking different than all the others.

This… this fucking mattered.