One time, I watched her climb a tree to take a picture of a sunset. She went up too damn far for one damn picture. But to her, it was everything. That sole picture meant the world to her in that moment. That’s how she was. All the time. The smallest moments were the biggest for her. It attracted me to her from day one, and it held my heart so damn tight.

She got the shot she wanted, then realized she was stuck in the tree. I saw her straddling the thick branch, looking down and around, trying to figure out how she had gotten up there.

I stood there on the ground, Adley in my arms. She had her head on my phone, smelling like sweet potatoes and baby detergent. She looked just like her mother, which was a good thing. Better than looking like the fool that got Mila pregnant and then took off when he realized being a father involved…being involved.

That didn’t matter anymore.

I had it all under control.

Mila was going to get her dream house soon. Built from the ground up. All the land she wanted. A private room in the basement for developing pictures. An art studio on the second floor with a balcony that faced east so she could have her morning coffee surrounded by her pictures and the sunrise.

Adley was going to have a princess room. And I was going to get a dog. A loyal Lab that would run the property, play with Adley, and grow up with her.

When she realized she was stuck in the tree, the first thing for me to do was to catch the camera. I had to carefully set Adley in her stroller. Then I stood under the tree and caught the camera. It didn’t break. Go me.

Then she asked me to call the fire department. Like hell. I jumped up and grabbed a branch. I pulled myself up with ease and scaled that fucking tree like it was a jungle gym, and I was king of the playground. I joined Mila in the tree within a few seconds, and we both sat there on the same branch, Adley in a stroller on the ground. Probably a stupid decision, but it was too late by that point.

I kissed Mila.

She said she wished she had her camera for a picture of us in a tree.

I laughed and helped her down and out of the tree.

She was crazy. Crazy beautiful. Crazy in her heart. Crazy for me.

Everything about us was crazy.

Funny thing about that memory…I had left my phone in a pouch on the back of the stroller.

That’s probably the only reason I remembered it.

* * *

Jerry stood with his hard hat on and a laptop in his hand.

Jay stood next to him, wearing a dirty white shirt, his skin glistening with sweat, breathing heavily.

I whistled.

Jerry waved me over.

“What’s happening?” I asked.

“South part of the yard,” Jerry said. “Had one go down. She’s sideways, pressing against a few others. Need to cut her up. I’d like to save her. That’s valuable shit there.”

I nodded.

Trees fell all the time. This one was one Jerry wanted to keep. It was on the ground, pressing against other trees that we were going to use for a customer. So, if those trees got damaged or fell, it would screw everything up.

“Can’t get Tommy on the phone,” Jerry said.

“Bo is deep in someone he met,” Jay said. “Left the state.”

“Yeah?” I asked. “Falls in love fast, huh?”

“In and out,” Jay said with a grin. “How was your night? Didn’t you take that drunk one…”

“Focus,” Jerry growled. “I want you two to go down there. I’ll meet you. It’s just us three.”

“We got it,” I said to Jerry and patted his shoulder. “Relax a little. Breathe.”

“It’s not like me to call you more than once, Syi,” Jerry said. “You had me nervous.”

“Oh shit,” Jay said. “You’re still with the chick, huh? Roll off her for a couple hours for us?”

“Shut up, Jay,” I said. “You’re both lucky I’m here after dragging me out like that.”

“You needed that,” Jay said.

“Yeah, I needed that like Jerry needs this mess.”

“Speaking of this mess,” Jerry said. “How about we go fucking take care of it?”

I got a hard hat and both myself and Jay grabbed a couple chainsaws. We walked over the ridge of the south side of the yard to see what awaited us.

Then we stood there and raised our chainsaws like they were beer mugs.

“Cheers,” Jay said.

“Don’t fucking kill yourself, man,” I said with a grin.

“Yeah, you totally got laid,” Jay said. “You never smile.”

Jay started his chainsaw.

I curled my lip as I started mine.

We started to cut into the tree, the goal being to not waste a piece of wood.

We had to cut it in proper sections so it could still be used for lumber. If we cut the pieces too short, then it would be good for nothing but firewood, cutting into the price. I ran numbers through my mind…along with Lara.

She was still at the cabin.

I had told her more than anyone I had ever told before.

But there was so much left to tell.

Me showing up so fucking late. Finding Adley alone, in the car, crying. Too afraid to leave the car, which probably saved her damn life. And no signs of Mila.

No signs of…

“Syi!” a voice boomed.

I looked up and saw Jay on the ground. My chainsaw was stuck in the tree. Still running. Then it flew back as the chain caught a knot.

“Fuck!” I yelled.

I turned my chainsaw off and threw it to the ground. Above me, I heard the rumble of an engine as Jerry was slowly creeping toward the edge of the ridge to start collecting the logs we were cutting.

Jay was on his ass, his right arm trying to protect his face as he tried to hold onto the chainsaw without cutting his fucking hand or arm off.

“Let it go!” I yelled to him.

Panic was a fucked-up thing. You knew what needed to be done, but in that moment, you forgot everything. I understood panic. More than once, panic had almost killed me.

Jay was freaking the hell out as he started to slide down the ridge.

I grabbed the chainsaw and threw it out of the way. Next to me, a log let loose and rolled at him. The giant piece of tree slammed into his shoulder, and Jay turned, screaming, trying to protect his face.

I had no other choice but to jump.

Forward, down the ridge.

I dug my heels and turned, with only inches to spare. I threw my left hand out as Jay started to slide by me. I grabbed enough of his shirt to stop him. A second later, the log came rolling and hit me so hard in the right leg that I felt blackout pain. But I kept my foot planted in the ground. The log turned, and I reached down and put a hand against the log, stopping it.

As loud and fast as the scene started, it was over, leaving us in silence.

I looked over at Jay. My hand was tight around his shirt like I was going to hit him.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Fine,” Jay said.

“What the hell is going on?” Jerry’s voice boomed from the top of the ridge.

“Nothing,” I called out.

I looked up, and Jerry was like a little action figure standing up there in the distance.

“Christ, Jay,” I said.

“Fuck,” he said. He lifted his left foot. “I have the wrong boots on.”

I wasn’t wearing special boots either, but I didn’t manage to almost fall. But I didn’t say that to him.

“What are you doing?” Jerry called down to me.

“Holding Jay and a log,” I called back. “I have to let one go.”

“I can’t lose that log!” Jerry yelled.

“Jay it is then,” I called out.

“That’s not fucking funny, man,” Jay said.

I laughed.

Probably the first time I’d ever laughed on the job.

I pulled Jay up, helping him to his feet. He grabbed my arm as he kicked with his feet to get traction. His shirt stood no match, and once it was stretched to the max, it started to tear.

He got to his feet and grabbed for my shoulder.

“Jesus Christ,” he said. “You fucking saved me, man. If I’d kept going, that log rolling after me…”

“Can you walk?” I cut him off.

“Yeah.”

I let Jay go.

I then reached down and grabbed the log. I wasn’t going to let this fucking thing get away. Not with the crazy pain in my leg. I was going to get that fucking thing up to the top of the ridge and enjoy watching it get stripped.

I slid down the ridge enough to get behind the log. I then put my arms around it and pulled, lifting it up with a big bear-hug.

“What are you doing?” Jay asked.

“Shut up,” I growled. “Don’t fall.”

“Let me help you, man,” Jay said.

“Get the chainsaws!” I yelled.

I braced myself, commanding every muscle in my body to do its job.

I carried the log as far up as I could so that Jerry could grab it with the machine.

“You’re insane, Syi!” Jerry yelled to me.

I dropped the log and stood there, breathing heavy.

I wiped my forehead and gritted my teeth.

Pain was a good thing. A comforting distraction. I lifted the leg of my jeans and saw a huge mark on my shin. I was lucky my bone hadn’t shattered.

Jay stepped up next to me. “Shit, Syi. I knew you were fucking strong…but what you just did…”

“Don’t,” I said. “Let’s just get this done.”

“Right,” Jay said.

“I’ll bring the logs up one at a time. You load them.”

“Right,” he said again.

I moved back down the ridge, and my feet finally gave out. I fell to my ass and sat there. I let out a groan.

I couldn’t get Lara off my fucking mind.

And she was waiting for me back at my cabin.

I’d told her once before to forget about me and stay away.

Now… I wanted her close to me.