I ran into the woods, my heart pumping hard. It took me back to that day. To finding Mila’s car without Mila inside. Adley in the back, in her carseat, looking terrified. I had to soothe Adley and then look for Mila. I wasn’t sure how long I looked for her but eventually I had to make the hardest call of my life. I had to call for emergency help but Mila was gone.

This time was different.

Literally ten seconds into the woods I found Lara.

She was sitting on a tree stump. Completely out of place. Completely beautiful.

“Lara!” I called for her.

She looked at me. Then she shook her head. “No.”

“What are you doing?”

“Got a flat tire,” she said.

I grabbed my jaw and ran my hand down my beard. “So you walked into the woods?”

“Can you just leave me alone, Syi?”

I took a step. I stopped. I took the step back. Then I took it again.

“No,” I said.

“What?” she asked.

“No. Fuck no. I won’t leave you alone.” I walked to her and crouched down in front of her. “I will never leave you alone, Lara. You’re forever found in my eyes. In my heart.”

“Syi…”

“No. You’re going to listen to me. I was the one lost in these woods, not you. You found me. You saved me. You protected me from myself. I shouldn’t have said what I said before. Seeing that memorial… that’s not what it should have been for her. I should have been more involved. Make everyone realize who she was and why she was gone. But it doesn’t matter now. I’ll never have that piece of truth and nobody will. I’ve got to share that with Adley. It’s all riding on my shoulders, sugar. So I don’t fuck this up with Adley again.”

“I know that, Syi,” Lara whispered. “I know that. I want to be there for you and with you. I can’t carry you, you big, dumb, lumberjack freak of nature. But that doesn’t mean I can’t love you.”

“Oh, sugar,” I said. I reached for her face and stroked her cheek. “You do carry me.”

Lara sniffled. “What do we do, Syi?”

“I don’t have a fucking clue, Lara. My mind won’t stop racing. I’ve got to find a way to make everything work with Adley. And make damn sure she knows that Michelle and Dane are her parents. Not me. I won’t raise her. I’m not good enough to raise her.”

“Yes you are.”

“Not like they are. She deserves the best and they are the best. I’m going to be there for her. I’m going to visit. I’m going to see every school event. Every play, dance, sporting event. Whatever she does. And I’ll forever look at her knowing that someday she and I are going to have more than one conversation where I have to break her little heart. But at least I know when I do that she’ll go home to Michelle and Dane for the love and comfort she’s used to.”

Lara swallowed hard. “I don’t like that system.”

I sighed. “I don’t like it either.”

“It’s not fair to you.”

“I know. But it’s not fair to Adley either. She’ll never know who her father is. I was the closest to a father but she has something better. I’ll make my peace knowing that she thinks of me and that I can absorb any of her pain and her anger.”

“You’re such a good man, Syi. You need to see that now.”

“I’ll try my best, sugar.”

Lara grabbed my beard with force. “No. You are a good man. I don’t care about who you were. I’m looking at who you are right now.”

“Right now, you have me scared.”

“Why?”

“Your car. The side of the road. Door open.”

Lara’s face dropped. “Oh, fuck. Syi.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I shouldn’t have…”

“It just proved to me what you mean. I can’t lose you, Lara. I can’t come close to losing you. Ever. I want you to buy that flower shop if you want it. I want you to live where you’re happy. If you need me, I’m there. But I won’t get in your way. You’re strong. So much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You better realize that.”

Lara grinned and then mocked me. “I’ll try my best, sugar.”

I laughed. I slid my hands to her waist and pulled her off the tree stump. I stood up, holding her.

The moment her lips touched mine I felt okay. I felt safe. I felt protected. I felt found.

I carried her through the woods back to the road.

I put her on her feet and looked at the car.

“Damn,” I said. “That got ripped up pretty good.”

“Yeah. I’ll have to call for a tow or something.”

“Or something, huh?” I asked.

“What? What are you thinking?”

I ran to my truck and got a knife out of the middle console. I walked back to the car and stood there.

“What’s the knife for?”

I grinned as I crouched and then stabbed the back tire.

There was a pop and scream of air escaping.

“Osiris!” Lara screamed. “What the fuck?”

I folded the knife and opened the back door to her car. “Now you have to stay with me. You’re stuck.”

“I was stuck already, you dummy,” she yelled. “Why’d you do that?”

“Because I fucking felt like it,” I said.

She was shocked.

I grabbed a couple bags from the backseat and put them on the roof of the car.

I went to her and grabbed her again, kissing her.

“I think I might hate you right now,” she said.

“I’ll pay for it,” I said. “We’ll take care of it tomorrow.”

“I was going to go figure out the flower shop thing,” she said. “I have to check the books. I have to look at the lease. I have to call a lawyer. I have to-”

I kissed her again. Harder.

I broke the kiss.

She nodded. “I have to tell you to do that again.”

I did it again.

And again.

I threw as much of her stuff into the bed of the truck as I could. I threw Lara into the passenger seat.

I drove us both… home.

* * *

Our bodies were tangled up tight. Lara was out of breath. With each exhale of my own breath, I growled. I was like an animal around her. Unable to control myself. Our clothes were thrown all over the floor of the cabin, leading to the bedroom.

I was on my back, holding her tight to my chest.

She was soft, warm, shaking.

She was my everything.

“Syi,” she whispered.

“Sugar,” I whispered back.

“I don’t want you to ever stop.”

“Stop what?” I asked and looked down at her.

“Stop looking for her. I don’t want you to ever give up. And if you ever need a minute to yourself just tell me.”

I nodded. “I don’t get it, Lara.”

“Get what?”

“Why you care so much.”

“Because for as much as you try to hide, you’re out in the open. And I love it. Plus, you have some features I do like.”

“Yeah?”

Lara touched my arm. “So strong. And you have a huge di-- heart.”

I laughed. “I really doubt my heart is bigger than my-”

“Depends on the moment,” Lara cut me off.

“What about right now?”

“Definitely your heart,” she said.

I smiled. She made me feel good. Really fucking good. She made me want to go to work not to hide my pain and beat up my muscles. But to grow the business with Jerry and do something that mattered. She made me think all these crazy fucking thoughts, like when it would get cold. Picturing her in a hoodie and sweatpants, sipping hot chocolate by the fire while it snowed outside. Cutting down our first Christmas tree together and decorating it.

“What are you doing right now?” Lara whispered.

“Thinking,” I said. “All that is going to happen.”

“So you’re a fortune teller now?”

“Yes I am.”

“Where’s your crystal ball, mountain man?”

I slapped my left hand to Lara’s bare ass. I pulled her on top of me. “I don’t need a crystal ball to predict the future, sugar.”

“Oh?”

“I see something big in the very near future,” I said with my lip curled.

I pulled at her, grinding her perfect curves against me.

She looked down. “Wow, you were right.”

I slipped a hand to the back of her neck and pulled her down for a kiss. I rolled on top of her and broke away.

“I’m always right, sugar,” I whispered.

My right hand eased along her inner thigh. I welcomed myself to her body once again. Her hands grabbed at my back and she groaned my name.

In my bed, in my cabin, the woods. Lara was everywhere. She could call me her mountain man, her lumberjack, her man.

But all that mattered to me was this: Lara was everything and of all the places to be, the most important was in my heart.