Drew peeked around the corner of the Inn for what seemed like the hundredth time. What was taking her so long? Jordan had left at least ten minutes ago, but Miranda was still inside the house. Just as he was about to give up, he caught a glimpse of her on the porch.
"C'mon son, time to go." He grabbed the blanket in one arm, and Tommy's hand in the other.
"Are we going all the way up the path to the cliff, Daddy?"
Drew nodded affirmatively. Hopefully, they wouldn't be going alone, either.
"Mommy used to take me up there all the time, but she's too busy making cakes now."
"Well," Drew said, "maybe you can ask her to go with us today."
"Mommy said she's watching movies with Uncle Jordan tonight."
"I know, but there she is now." Drew pointed to an unmistakably irritated Miranda, standing dejectedly on Jordan's porch. "Why don't you ask if they both want to come?" Drew resisted the urge to rub his palms together in mischievous glee. He did feel a little guilty about involving his son in his diabolical escapade, but it was the only thing he could come up with on such short notice.
"Mommy!" Tommy's little face lit up with joy at the sight of her. "Daddy's taking me to the cliff. Will you and Uncle Jordan come with us?"
"I don't know, honey..." Her voice trailed off as her eyes met Drew's.
"Please Mommy," Tommy said, "we're going to watch the sun go to sleep and I'm going to catch some frogs."
Drew strolled his way up the path, trying to act nonchalant while his heart played bocce ball with his stomach. "Translation," he said, "Tommy's going to chase frogs while I veg out on this here blanket."
"Don't let him get too close to the edge of those cliffs, Drew," Miranda said.
"Relax, Mandy. We're not going anywhere near the edge. Besides, if you're worried, you could always come with us." He gritted his teeth and sucked in a cleansing breath. He knew full well there was no way Jordan could come along, but the words still seemed to stick to the roof of his mouth. "Bring Jordan along, too."
Miranda's face darkened. For a moment, Drew was afraid she had caught on to his little stunt. "Jordan got an emergency call from the Inn. Looks like he'll be there most of the evening."
"Oh, what a shame." The corners of Drew's mouth lifted ever so slightly. "I guess you're free, then."
"I guess so," she said. She looked at him quizzically, and he did his best to keep a blank expression on his face. "Actually," she said, "you're free, Drew. I guess I don't have plans anymore, so I don't really need you to watch Tommy."
Drew's face fell. That wasn't how this was supposed to play out. Fortunately, Tommy came to the rescue.
"Can't we go, Mommy? Please?" Tommy begged.
Drew turned his head to hide his smile. The kid was downright angelic. No way Miranda would be able to refuse that.
"Well..." She paused, giving one more disappointed look toward the Inn. "Why not? I'll go.” She looked at Drew over the top of Tommy's head. "For him," she whispered. "Don't get any ideas."
∞ ∞ ∞
Miranda lay back on the blanket, enjoying the soft breeze blowing through the orchard. The evening sky was beautiful—almost as gratifying as the sight of an ecstatic Tommy running through the field with Drew. It almost made up for her botched date with Jordan.
"We need a rest," Drew said. He placed an exhausted Tommy on the blanket, and then lay down between the two of them. Miranda's skin tingled when Drew's hand brushed against hers, and she resisted the urge to twine her fingers with his. Instead, she moved away.
"The sun will have completely set soon," she said. "Don't you think we should be heading back?"
"Just a couple more minutes," Drew murmured.
She might have protested, had she not almost immediately heard the soft, even, breathing of peaceful sleep. Was every man checking out on her tonight? It was a beautiful night, though, and it had been a long time since she'd had the luxury of lying under the stars, without having somewhere she needed to hurry off to. The evening breeze rushed, warm and soothing, against her skin and the sound of chirping crickets filled the air. As much as she tried to ignore it, she was also painfully aware of Drew. It seemed she couldn't get within ten feet of him these days without her heart pounding and her stomach doing flip-flops. So far, she'd managed to chalk it up to pure anger and irritation, but tonight, lying here in the meadow—the same meadow in which she and Drew used to play as children, and then hide from the world as teenagers—she had to face the truth. She had never gotten over him.
The thought made her cringe. She didn't want to feel that way about him. It wasn't healthy to spend your life longing for a man who could never give you what you wanted. Frustrated, she rolled onto her side, bringing her face to face with Drew. Mistake number one.
He was still sleeping, thank goodness. At least, he appeared to be. She stared at him for a long moment. It wasn't hard to remember what had first drawn her to him. The chiseled chin with the robust cheekbones and striking blue eyes that radiated warmth and electricity. The broad shoulders, rock hard abs, and chest that exuded strength. Strong arms that had held her close, and made her feel loved. And that hair. That beautiful shock of wavy dark hair. He was as protective of his hair as any woman she had ever known, but he had always allowed her to run her fingers through it. Especially when they made love. She would wrap her fingers in his hair and pull him to her while the rest of the world melted away.
Before her head could stop her heart, Miranda's fingers reached out to touch his hair. Soft and lush as she remembered, and warm from the fading sun. Funny how a simple touch could take a person back in time. For a few seconds, the strong feeling of longing for those simpler times overcame her, and she closed her eyes against the memory. When she opened them again, Drew was awake. She jerked her fingers back, mortified that she had been discovered.
Drew's hand shot up and grabbed hers in mid-flight. His eyes shone bright, not with the characteristic humor that usually twinkled there, but an unmistakable burning passion. She had seen that look many times, and it struck both lust and fear in her heart.
She didn't try to argue when he kissed her. Hadn't she known it would happen? If she were honest, wasn't that the real reason she had agreed to come up here with them? Tommy had been in no real danger. She knew that. And he would have been just as happy coming up here alone with Drew, as he was with her tagging along. But part of her, that tiny portion of her soul that had not yet been tamed—that still reacted from emotion rather than intellect—had taken over and convinced her to go. The same part of her that had longed to run her fingers through his hair. The same part of her that even now was pulling him toward her, intent on deepening the kiss, needing to feel his skin upon hers.
It was horrifying, and it was marvelous all at the same time. Horrifying, because this was the last thing she wanted, but marvelous because it was everything she wanted all at the same time. Her heart warred and her mind agonized, but at some point—she wasn't sure just when—she gave up and gave in to the sheer pleasure of lying under the stars with her sleeping son and the man that she loved.
She felt as if she were floating. As if each kiss, each brush of his fingertips across her face, every whisper of her name from his lips, brought her even closer to the moon and the stars above. For a short while, she was nineteen again. Drew still loved her and her whole future was ahead of her. A future full of love and promise for her and Tommy. A life as a family with Drew, as it should have been.
Drew could feel it, the moment she began to think of pulling away. The moment she began to think this whole thing might not be such a good idea. He had to act quick, before he lost her forever. It was torture to pull away from her, but she had to know that he wanted more than a physical relationship. She had to trust that he would stick around this time, and that probably wasn't going to happen in one night.
He felt a squeezing pressure on his heart at the thought of her anxiety. He had done this to her. He had caused her to fear him where once she had trusted him beyond all measure. He had denied his own feelings. Ran from his responsibilities. And now that he understood his heart’s true desire—it could be too late. She was in danger of settling. Settling for a life of platonic love with Jordan rather than what they could have together. He knew he should walk away. Let her have the life she claimed she now wanted. But he couldn't. There was no way he could give up without a fight. Without knowing he had given it all he had inside of him.
He rolled onto his back, pulling Miranda's head onto his chest, so they both had a clear view of the stars above. It felt so right, being here like this. With her. With them, as a family. Like they had finally come full circle.
"Do you remember the last time we were up here?" he asked.
"I remember."
Drew could sense the wall she was doing her best to erect.
“I try not to think about it very much."
"I think about it all the time," he said, with quiet certainty. "That night has haunted me every day for the last seven years." His breath caught, and he paused a moment before continuing, afraid of letting his emotions get the best of him. Still, he had come this far. He had to be honest with her. The risk of not doing so was too great.
"It was the summer after you graduated college, and I had just finished my first year of culinary school," she said. "A few weeks before you left." Her tone was flat, with just a hint of accusation, and he couldn't help but wince at his own reckless stupidity.
That last night had been wonderful. Magical. It was the first time they had really talked about their future together, as a couple. The first time Drew had told her he loved her. They'd been so happy together, until he’d left. Until the weeks, the months, and then the years flew by and he never came back for her. For them.
"I was a stupid kid, Mandy," he said. "It's no excuse, and I know it, but it's the truth." He looked at her with pleading eyes, willing her to understand, or at least listen and believe in his sincerity. "I knew you never wanted to leave this place, but I thought I would be able to convince you. I thought we'd spend summers together until you finished college, then I'd talk you into traveling the world with me."
"I was a stupid kid, too, Drew," Miranda said. "Stupid enough to believe that when a man said he loved you, he meant it."
Miranda’s eyes locked with his. It was all he could do not to look away, but he kept his eyes focused. She deserved that much from him, at least. It was so hard to see the tears welling in her eyes, and the shards of betrayal and broken trust mixed among them. Her love for him had been so deep. So strong. And he carelessly threw it all away.
"When I found out you were pregnant with Tommy, I panicked. What did I know about being a father?" He sat up and turned toward her. It was hard admitting the truth, but the truth was all he had. "And, I was selfish. All I could think about was how this was ruining all of my plans—all of our plans," he said.
"You don't think I felt the same way?" she said. "I was nineteen years old, Drew. I didn't have a mother. My father was always working, and kind of upset with me for a while." She swiped at falling tears.
He wanted to put his arms around her, but knew she needed this chance to get it all out. It was the least he could do for her.
"I was all alone," she said. "I just wanted you. We could have figured it out together."
"I'm so sorry," he said. His voice cracked with emotion he had pent up for years. "After a while, I realized my mistake. But, I couldn't come back. I was so ashamed. I told myself you were better off without me. I thought I would get over you in time, but I never did." He cupped her face in his hands. He couldn't help it. He needed to touch her. "I never did. I still love you, Mandy, and I want to spend the summer making it up to you and Tommy."
∞ ∞ ∞
Miranda's heart sank. So, a summer was all he was offering. She shouldn't have expected more. She wasn't even sure she wanted more. All she knew was that Drew had breezed back into her life and she had turned to complete mush. She was tired of being angry. Tired of fighting. Tired of sacrificing happiness and holding this deep resentment in her heart.
"I forgive you," she said. "We were kids. We both made mistakes." She grasped his hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze of understanding. "We can't go back, but we can try to move forward. You're doing your best to do the right thing now. There's nothing to be ashamed of anymore."
"Do you mean that, Mandy?" A glimmer of hope shined in his eyes.
She nodded her head affirmatively and realized she really did mean it. She wasn't angry. She didn't even mind him calling her Mandy. Surprisingly, she kind of liked it. For the first time in a long time, she was able to see Drew as he truly was. A living, breathing, person who loved and lost, cheated and won, made mistakes and asked for forgiveness. They had both made choices, and now it was time to make new ones. She just wanted peace and happiness for them both.
There was something else she wanted, too.
She studied Drew's face, contemplating her decision. Then, before she could change her mind—before reason drove away every last bit of insanity—she leaned in and softly kissed his lips. "Take me home, Drew," she whispered.
"You mean..." His voice trailed off, and he looked at her with questioning eyes, as if he understood her meaning, but needed to be sure.
She had no problem clarifying it for him. For once, she knew exactly what she wanted, and fully intended on getting it. She kissed him again. This time there was no mistaking the passion, the need, the invitation. "I mean," she whispered, "take us home, let me tuck Tommy into bed, then stay the night with me. I don't want to think about what's right or wrong, I just want to be with you tonight."