Miranda blinked her eyes and gave her head a quick shake. How long had she been staring out the window? She grabbed her bowl and spoon and resumed mixing the cake batter. With five more of these to make before quitting for the day, she needed to concentrate. But she found herself continually drawn to the window, anyway, to the lawn where Jordan, Drew, and Tommy were playing a game of soccer.
They had been inseparable the entire week. All three of them. It was heartwarming to see Jordan and Drew as friends again, even more so to see her son so happy. She was surprised to see what a void it was leaving in her own life, though. Sometimes, the happiness she felt at seeing them together gave way to a gnawing pain raging in her gut and stabbing at her heart. The guilt that followed was even worse. She shouldn't be jealous. Not of Jordan. Not of her own son. Certainly not of Drew.
Many times, over the last week, she had thought of running back to him. Fantasized about it even. But, in the end, she just couldn't bring herself to do it. In her eyes, he still couldn't be trusted. Funny how it had come so easily to everyone else, though. She could understand his parents. Kayla, even. But Jordan had taken no time at all to fall back into an easy friendship with him.
Jordan had been hers for so long, and she wasn't sure she was ready to share him yet. True, making the decision to keep things platonic between them had been for the best, but it didn't come without consequences. She understood that. Understanding it and experiencing it were two completely different things, though. Just another reason to be angry with Drew, not that she needed any more. It just didn't seem fair that he could waltz back into town and change everything in an instant. It was like being left behind all over again.
She heaved an exaggerated sigh of frustration. Sounds of clattering stainless steel filled the room as she tossed mixing bowls and spoons into the sink. It wasn't right. First, she was angry at Drew for causing such upheaval in her life. Now, she had to feel guilty and ashamed for her own petty jealousy.
She threw another spoon in the sink with such force it bounced a couple of times in the air. She smiled in satisfaction, each bounce a mental slap to Drew's face.
"Hey, what's with all the noise in here?"
Drew. Impeccable timing, as usual. She grabbed another spoon. A slight turn to the left and she could really nail him with it. She thought about it for a few seconds, then took a deep breath and threw it in the sink, instead.
"Just cleaning up," she said, between clenched teeth. Another clatter in the sink. A bowl, this time.
"Wow. What did that bowl ever do to you?"
"What do you want, Drew?" She could tolerate him a tiny bit longer, but that was it.
"I'm here to help you with deliveries."
Wonderful. "I thought Jordan was doing that."
"Sorry to disappoint you."
You have no idea. His boyish grin was infuriating.
"Not disappointed." She grabbed a steel wool pad and furiously scrubbed at a bowl. "Just wondering why he couldn't come tell me himself. That's all." She scrubbed a little harder. "Not to mention that he doesn't seem to have time for me at all anymore," she muttered under her breath. She rinsed the bowl and slammed it onto the drying rack. Part of her wanted to back off. She knew she was being petty. She just couldn't seem to stop.
Drew grabbed a towel and began drying the dishes. "Calm down, Mandy," he said. "I'm gonna help you, instead. It's no big deal."
That was it. She'd had enough. She was tired, she was angry, and she needed to vent.
"Why do you still insist on calling me Mandy?" She threw down the scrubber and whirled to face him. "No one else calls me that. Everyone else treats me like an adult and calls me by my adult name."
"You really don't remember, do you?" When her glare only intensified, he continued. "I earned the right to call you Mandy, remember?" He finished drying the bowl he was holding. "Where does this go?"
She rolled her eyes and pointed to a shelf over the counter.
"Thanks." He walked to the shelf and put the bowl in its place. "Anyway, as I was saying, you were in fifth grade and upset because Bobby Simms was taunting you. Remember? Let's see...how did that go? Mandy, Mandy—"
"Smells like candy," Miranda laughed. She couldn't help herself. She looked at Drew, managing an apologetic half smile. "It doesn’t sound that bad now, but I was mortified at the time. I think I cried every day until he finally stopped. Until you made him stop."
"I didn't have to do much," Drew said. "I was a big eighth grader threatening a puny kid. All I did was make sure he knew what would happen to him if he kept messing with you."
"That's when I started insisting that everyone call me Miranda. You and Daddy were the only ones who wouldn't do it, but I didn't mind. I knew you would never hurt me." Her breath caught at the irony of it all. He had ended up hurting her the most in the end.
"I heard your dad say he would always call you Mandy, because that was his special nickname for you." Drew's grin held just a hint of shyness. "I decided, then and there, that would be my special name for you, too. I'll never call you anything else."
There was a long silence while Miranda considered the situation. She concluded that she was acting like a baby. A spoiled brat. She was punishing Drew for one deed out of his life, rather than considering all the good things he had also done. Granted, that one deed was a doozie, and she still didn't feel as if she could fully accept him back into her life, but she could certainly allow him to help her make deliveries, and she could make an extra effort to renew their friendship. He deserved that much, at least.
"I'm sorry, Drew," she finally said. "I was having a bad day, and I took it out on you. I'm glad you're able to help me with deliveries. It'll give Jordan a break, anyway."
"You know, I didn't realize how much he's been doing while I've been gone. Now that I'm moving back home, I can start helping out a lot more."
"Moving back home?" Her heart felt like it might jump right out of her chest.
"Yeah. Didn't Kayla or Mom tell you? I've decided to come back home for good. Make it permanent."
"Oh." Not just home for the summer, after all. She didn't quite know what to make of it. He even sounded happy about it. Of course, it wouldn't last. Give him a couple of months and he'd be running for the door.
"Don't sound so happy about it," he said. The boyish grin remained, but there was a slight edge in his tone.
"It's not that I'm not happy," she said. "I'm just surprised. I thought you were only home for the summer."
"You shouldn't be that surprised." He crossed to her, eyes delving intently into hers. "I have a couple of really good reasons to stick around."
"Your parents must be very happy," she said. His eyes never left hers. She wanted to run but found herself riveted to the spot.
"I want you to be happy, too." His voice was husky, and his eyes were dark and demanding.
He was going to kiss her. She could feel it. Part of her was begging him to. Her body felt pulled toward him, like a magnet. Somehow, she managed to pull away.
"I know Tommy will be happy," she said.
Drew laughed, and his face lit up at the mention of his son's name. "He's already planning all sorts of activities."
"Well, I know he can tend to become a bit much, at times." Just keep talking. As long as you're focused on Tommy, you're not focused on Drew's lips. "If he starts to get out of hand, just send him my way. I'll take care of him."
"Are you kidding?" he said. "No way. I've missed out on too much already. I intend on spending every waking minute making it up to him. To everyone," he said, his intense gaze telling her he meant everything he said. "I've even promised to help Mom cook the family dinner on Sunday."
"Now I know you've gone insane." Drew was notorious for burning anything within sight of a stove. She laughed at his expression of mock disbelief. Drew's dynamic personality was contagious, and people loved him because of it, including her. By continuing to punish him for the way he had treated her, she was only hurting herself, and Tommy, too. She was accomplishing nothing by turning away from him, except alienating herself from the rest of her friends and family. So, she would accept his offer of friendship. Nothing more. That part of her heart must be forever guarded from him. But, friendship, she could handle. Friendship felt good. It felt safe.
"I'm sorry I've acted so childish, Drew," she said. "What do you say we go make those deliveries?"
Drew grabbed a white dish towel and waved it in the air. "Does this mean you're going to surrender?"
"Not a surrender, exactly—more like a truce." She laughed and grabbed a set of keys from the hook by the door. “I'll go pull the van up. You can start grabbing the boxes of fresh flowers from the walk-in fridge."
"At your service, ma'am." Drew bowed, with a distinct flourish. "Forever and always."
His final words tugged a little at her heart. Forever and always. If only it were that simple.