Laiken

There's a deer in the field.

It's alone, and I wonder if it's a doe without its foal. Is it childless, alone in this world, waiting to meet the perfect mate? As I lie there in the grass just watching it stand on its elegant legs, I think about my own mother.

I was able to meet with her soon after I spoke to my dad. She'd been waiting for me in a much nicer part of the police station. Her long hair was looped over her shoulder in a loose tail. She'd aged some, but nothing like Dad had.

When she saw me she became even younger—like just seeing me had turned back the hands on father time's clock. Her whole face went pink. Covering her mouth, she waited a split second before she threw her arms around me. Her tears soaked my shoulder. Mine saturated hers. No one came along to tell us to stop hugging, or to calm down. No one would dare. Reuniting is always a tender thing, but to be able to touch your mother, or your daughter, after six whole years?

This was an event that had to run its course at its own speed.

It wasn't until we were spent of all our tears that we realized we were kneeling on the floor. She'd clutched my face, touching it over and over, exploring me with her frantic eyes. She didn't question if I was really me. She knew it in her gut. What she was doing was trying to understand everything I'd been through just by looking at me.

I'd taken her hands gently in mine. “No,” I whispered. “You won't find the damage on my surface. It'll come out through long, agonizing talks.  But only if you want that. I won't make you listen, if it's too much.”

Her eyebrows gnarled together over the bridge of her slim nose. “If you're willing to tell me, then I want to know everything.” She'd hugged me again, speaking directly into my ear. “Laiken, I missed you every single minute. I couldn't sleep. I barely ate, and only managed it because of Dean. I became some undead excuse for a mother, stumbling through everything from muscle memory alone.”

The word undead tricked something off in my memory. “Dracula,” I said, blinking. “You were the one reading it.”

My mother pulled away an inch. “You went to the Complex?”

“Dominic took me.”

Her eyes glimmered as if she's going to cry again. “I wish you hadn't seen that place. Yes, that was my book. I read it over and over. It gave me a hollow kind of comfort.”

She thought of herself like some cursed vampire. She wasn't rejoicing in her new life with just Dean and Joseph. Knowing that eased away the last of my bitterness that had formed when I thought she and Dad had tried to erase me.

“I never meant to take it with me when we escaped,” she said, “But I wish I had. In my rush, I forgot about the photo I kept inside the pages. It was of you and your sister. I used it as a bookmark. Seeing you both gave me hope.”

“Actually, I took that picture. It's in a frame back at the cabin with . . . Kara.” My mouth went slack. Grabbing her shoulders, I squinted into her face. “Mom, did anyone come and talk to you about her yet? No one's told me where she is. If she's still tied up—”

“Tied up?” she asked, her voice rising. “What are you saying? One of the officers came by a little while ago to tell me they'd found her and taken her to the nearest hospital to check her out, but she seemed in good health.”

I breathed out in relief. “If she's okay, then that's all that matters.”

“No, I want to know about this tied up bit.”

Cupping her elbows, I helped her to her feet. “It's long, and I don't want to freak you out.”

Her hands circled mine. “Please, give me the short version. My mind is going wild right now.”

Seeing how desperate she was, I filled my chest with a quick breath. “Dominic's uncle Vahn came after me. Kara tried to stop him, but in the end, he won. He tied her up and left her in the cabin so she couldn't give chase or warn anyone.”

I regretted telling her this when her mouth trembled at the corners. Amazingly, she'd pulled herself together, tightening her grip on me. My presence calmed her. I expected it to be the other way around, but I don't mind. “Vahn. Annie's brother?”

“Yeah, him.”

My mom crinkled her nose in thought. “I'm so sorry that the mistakes of your father's past, as well as my own, put you and your sister in so much danger.”

That reminded me of a burning question. “Mom, did you know about Annie and . . . and Dad?”

Her features smoothed out. She’d let go of me so she could cross her arms into a knot. “Of course I knew. But how did you?”

“She told me.” A finger of cold rolled down my spine. The chill transformed into a full body shiver. Thinking about Annie brought back a parade of conflicting emotions. “She sacrificed herself to save her son. She's dead,” I whisper, my voice cracking.

She closed her eyes and stayed that way for a long minute. “As much pain as she brought our family, I never wanted to hear those words. I didn't know she'd fallen for Joseph when he began seeing me. I only learned when she started spying on us. Your father was especially concerned about her sabotaging us or threatening him with going to the police to reveal what he was doing at the company. She was ready to destroy everything to keep him at her side.” Finally, her eyes opened, their centers tiny pin pricks. She's reliving something terrible. “I thought we'd gotten away. Thirteen years of peace in our little cabin. And then she rolled up in that damn car.”

“How did she even find us?” I asked.

“The hospital.” My mother pushed her fingertips to her temples. “You remember Dean's birth being a frightening mess? When we were forced to take an emergency flight to the nearest hospital, they drugged me up. I gave the nurse my real name, not my false one. They recorded it and that triggered an alert to Annie and Silas. One little mistake made it all crumble apart.”

The door cracked open. There was a small boy there, not much older than six. His eyes sought out my mother. “Mom?” he asked, shooting a nervous look my way. The kind of suspicion reserved for strange adults. “I'm hungry, when can we get out of here and go eat? The vending food is gross.”

My heart thudded against my ribs. “Dean?” I whispered.

He looked me up and down. The suspicion didn't go away. Mom released me so she could move over and kneel in front of the boy. “Dean,” she said gently, curling an arm around his shoulders. “This is your big sister, Laiken.”

I could see her in his features, and a bit of my father. My whole chest felt too small for all of the blood inside of me. Dean, my baby brother, stands in front of me - except he's not a baby anymore. He looked just like the photos hanging all over the Complex.

Seeing those pictures of my brother was too much to bear. But this - being in the same room with him - was hard in another way. There's a drive in me to grab him in my arms and never let go. There's also awkwardness between us. He doesn't know me. How could he?

Mom waved me closer. I went with hesitance, treating Dean like he's a small animal that might bolt. “Hello there,” I began. “It's nice to meet you.”

He scrunched up his whole face. “You're really my sister?”

“Yeah. I really am.” Following Mom's lead, I folded my legs under me so I was eye to eye with him. “You're much bigger than when I last saw you.”

That made him grin. He’s got a single tooth missing, a different one than in the photographs. I wondered if he put it under his pillow. Did he believe in sweet ideas like the tooth fairy? “I'm tall for my age,” he said proudly. “One time, a teacher asked if I was eight.”

I'm fighting tears as I smile. “I'm not even shocked. You're definitely tall for your age.”

Dean's joy shifted behind a curious mask. Reaching out, he rubbed my dark hair between his little fingers. “We've got the same hair color.”

Pressure built behind my eyes—I forced myself to keep it together. “We do. You, me, and your other big sister, Kara.”

That time, when he grinned, I noticed his deep dimples. “Two big sisters?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Hope that's okay with you.”

“Are you kidding?” he laughed, and the sound overwhelmed me. “I always wanted a sister. Never imagined I'd get more than one.” Dean tugged at Mom's shirt sleeve. “Can we celebrate with pizza for dinner?”

“That sounds perfect,” she replied, nodding towards the door. “Let your father know.”

With a loud cheer, my little brother rushed from the room. I wiped the corners of my eyes, laughing self-consciously. “He's huge. And really sweet, huh?” Tears kept coming—I scrubbed them with the heels of my palms. “God, sorry. I'm just overwhelmed and exhausted. We have so much to talk about, Mom. Way too much.”

“You're right.” She bent forward and graced my forehead with a soft kiss. “I can't wait to get to know the woman you've grown into.”

Now, as I lie in that field watching the deer, I look forward to all the time I have with the people I grew up loving, and the people I've grown to love. It'll never be enough time. I'm sure of that. Being immortal would barely scrape the surface of how many hours I want to dedicate to living around them all.

The deer's ears flick. In a whirl of fluffy white tail, it leaps into the bushes, vanishing towards the setting sun. I shift onto my elbows, searching for what scared it off. Dominic approaches through the tall grass to my left. He's wearing a tight, sleeveless blue shirt that looks orange in the glowing summer sun.

He's far enough away that it takes him a few steps to reach me. I revel in the sight of him as he makes the journey. I'll never get sick of looking at him, especially when he moves. “Here you are,” he says, staring down at me.

“Here I am.” My smile kicks up higher. I roll fully onto my back, patting the grass beside me. “Sit, stay awhile.”

Dominic arches his eyebrows. Scanning the field where the deer was, he lowers himself until he's sitting at my side. “Were you watching the sunset?”

“Not exactly. But now that you're here, I think that's a nice idea.”

His fingers drift down, playing with my hair in a way that thrills me. “It's already gotten longer,” he says. “Will you keep growing it out?”

Reaching up, I feel the ends of the dark strands. “I don't know. I kind of enjoy how light my head feels without that braid dragging me down. It depends on what Kara does.” Dominic flinches when I say her name. My fingers graze his wrist, pulling him down until he's lying on the grass, facing me. The sun turns the flecks in his black eyes into crimson. “You two have to talk. You know that.”

His nod is ponderous. “When she's ready, we will.”

I inch my eyebrows up. “I hope that's soon. I'm sick of you two tiptoeing around each other while the cabin gets fixed up.” The work has been slow. A lot of Dominic's money is tied up in his father's mess. Until that's all settled so Dominic can sell off the estate, we're getting by on sweat-equity and a few favors. I'm broke beyond Wyatt's handout, too; everything my dad stole, he handed over to the FBI.

But I don't really care about being broke. Money never meant anything to me. I took a job in Stutter's Valley, determined to make my own way, even as Dominic argued against it. It's not that he hates to see me working. He just can't stand to have me away from him.

I understand that.

Looking up at his solid jaw, how the fading sunlight makes his thin beard glimmer like the edges of autumn leaves, I let out a content sigh.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks.

Running my nails down his forearm, I bite my lower lip. “About how I can't even get angry at you when you look so damn good. What an unfair advantage you have.”

He slides closer to me, pushing our shoulders together. His head rests on one hand, the elbow propping him up. “You can't get angry at me because you think I'm hot? That's good to know.”

Laughing, I give him a tiny shove. He grabs me, halting my faux attack, and then rolls himself over my body. His shadow steals away the last of the sun. The sky is pinker than my cheeks, the moon a small ghost behind his ear. Dominic has more presence than an entire other planet. “Hi,” I whisper, meeting his eyes.

His smirk makes my heart beat quicken. “It's easy to tell when I'm getting to you. You start speaking in single words.” Sweet as sin, he kisses me. Our lips touch as little as a butterfly settling on a flower, but the sensation wakes up all of my cells. “But you don't need to say much,” he purrs. “I can read your every movement. I know what you want before you do.”

“And what do I want?” I ask.

“Me.” His mouth captures mine again. He's ravenous, all hints of his gentle teasing going away. Firm hands settle on my wrists, pushing them over my head in the grass. The motion pulls my thin shirt up until it exposes my stomach.

All the fuzzy sensations stop. He's quit moving, his lips leaving me. Through half-lidded eyes I stare up at him. He's looking into the distance over my head. I almost ask what he sees, but his wide, wondrous eyes keep me quiet.

Carefully I shift under him until I can see where he's staring. There, by the edge of the darkening trees, I see the deer from before. This time it's not alone. There's another one beside it, their black eyes and flared nostrils pointed our way.

Together, the pair considers us. Above me I can hear Dominic's heavy silence. He's holding his breath. This moment is magical for him, for both of us.

The deer don't bolt off. They extend their long legs, strutting into the grass before winding through the tree trunks and out of view. For several seconds afterward there's no sound but the whine of bugs in the June air. “They were watching us,” he whispers. “But they didn't seem scared.”

“Why would they be?” Reaching up, I brush my hand over his jawline until he looks at me. “They recognize that we're the same as them. Just two animals in love.”

He watches me with such sudden intensity that my mouth dries out. His kiss replenishes everything I need. Everything I am. Under the twinkling stars of that summer's eve, we hold each other closer than roots winding through the earth.

All of my thoughts revolve around him - all but one.

I'm sure that one of those deer, the first one I saw while I was lying here alone, is the same one my sister and I chased six years ago.

With a certainty I can't explain, I know it's true. A childish part of me believes it left to find its mate, coming back here to show me it wasn't alone.

I'm glad it found someone to love like I did.