Laiken

My bare feet press onto the soft carpet. It takes me back to my first morning in this house. These soft fibers hugging my toes brought me joy. I'd run away from a maid, laughing from how mischievous it was, how amazing to just be running, even if it was inside these walls.

Then I'd crashed into Dominic. Our bodies had tangled, and I didn't know it yet, but our fates would be as well. Silas and Annie had been frightening, both of them such big, intimidating adults. Over the past years their grip on me had faded. I'd let myself think of them as flawed, but undeniably human.

After tonight, I know I was terribly naive.

“Laiken!” Kara is waiting by my bedroom. She's sitting on the floor in a long white sweater-dress, arms hugging her pointy knees. I halt on the carpet when I see her. She doesn't get up. She only stares at me with her eyes wide as can be. She seems so young, so scared.

We come alive at the same time, rushing forward until we clap together like thunder. “Oh, Kara!” I sob, crushing her in my arms. Her embrace is rough; she bangs her forehead on my cheekbone. I don't care. It's perfect, more than perfect—it's everything I've ever wished for.

Warmth soaks into my hair and neck. “Kara, don't cry,” I say, my voice breaking. “I'm fine. Nothing happened.”

“What didn't happen?” she asks, and somehow she clings even tighter.

I stare down the empty hallway behind her. I'm trying to figure out how to answer. Except there's no way around it anymore—I could pretend with Dominic that I was fine. He was the perfect distraction. Without him, I'm forced to relive the event inside Franklin's home.

Shutting my eyes gently, I breathe in until my chest hurts. “Silas and Annie took me to a business dinner. But the business wasn't what I thought. They handed me off to a sick man as a way to sweeten their deal, while they ran and hid like cowards.”

Kara's nails cut through Dominic's thick jacket. “They what?” She leans away so she can see my face. I don't know what she sees, but I have a front seat to the horror that rolls through her tear-filled eyes. “That's . . . that's . . .. Fuck, Laiken, did he touch you? I'll kill him, I'll kill all of them.”

“He didn't,” I say quickly. It's meant to comfort her, but truly, it's for my own relief. I need to remind myself that Franklin tore my dress, ripped my hair from its braid, but he never got close to his real goal. “He tried, but Dominic showed up. He stopped him.”

Some tension abandons her muscles. “Thank god. Oh, thank god, thank god, he got to you in time.” She's rambling; I cup her shoulders, squeezing until she focuses on me again.

“Kara.” I frown curiously. “Did you send him to help me?”

“I told him I was worried about you,” she says. “I saw you leave, I didn't see you come back when the others did.” The way she explains it, I get the feeling it's not the first time she's been watching out for me since she arrived.

“This place is so awful,” she moans.

Clutching her upper arms, I furrow my brow. “It is. But it can feel less awful. Kara, I don't want to treat you like you're a ghost,” I whisper sadly. “I want to be like this all the time.”

Her eyes bounce around the empty hallway. “People will see us being close. They'll know, they'll use it against us.”

“Why do you think that? There's no one here listening, do you really believe there are cameras in the walls or something?”

“It's happened before,” she mumbles, hyperventilating as she talks. “He knew everything I did. He had to be watching me.”

“Who?” I ask, a chill rippling up my neck.

Her eyes dart to mine. They're glistening, her pupils tiny dots. “Vahn.”

I lean away, scanning her pale face. “Are you telling me that Dominic's uncle spied on you?”

Kara turns away then takes my hand and pulls me towards my room. I follow her inside, remaining quiet as she shuts the door and tugs me to sit beside her on my bed. Our legs are bent lotus-style; we're facing each other, heads leaning close. It’s just how we'd whisper when we were staying up too late as kids.

Telling our secrets. Giggling nervously.

There's no laughter this time.

“I told you before that I lived with Vahn, and his son. I was in their house all the way up until you saw me at your little party.”

A firework crackles through my brain. “That means you saw Dominic and Bernard when they came home from school on holiday breaks.” Kara glances at our tangled hands. My knuckles are white. “Sorry,” I say releasing her. I didn't notice I was clutching so hard.

She keeps staring at our hands. “Yes. I got to know them both.” She forms one big ball of fingers, shoving it against her stomach like she's in pain. “You asked about Vahn spying on me. I didn't know he was. Not at first. But after . . . Bernard died . . . Vahn went off the deep end.”

“What did he do?” I whisper, my nerves on edge.

The last color drains from her face. “There was no way he could know. I only told one other person, but somehow, Vahn . . .” She's trembling now. Her hands fly up, burying in her scalp, digging in as she grimaces. “Laiken, please, I'm not paranoid! I swear I'm not! But I was good, and sweet, and proper, and, and I did everything they asked me to. It wasn't that hard, they were all so nice to me. So nice, so caring.”

Tears boil from the corners of her eyes. “Kara, calm down.” I reach for her knee; she jumps, locking her stare with mine. She can't hide the trauma in her face. I've never seen her so exposed.

“It didn't matter how good I'd been,” she whispers, her voice crumbling. “Not after Bernard was gone. His uncle became a different person. It was just us in that house. It was a year of him alternating between ignoring me, then cornering me, abusing me. Sometimes he'd be sweet again, and we'd sit, and he'd talk about his son.” She smiles, but it's all the wrong shape. “It got worse before it got better.” Her fingers fan through her hair, teasing it. “I never told anyone but Bernard about our promise. How could Vahn know if he wasn't recording my every move?”

The world stops spinning. It has to in order for me to accept what she's said.

I finally know who chopped off her hair.

A shuddering breath rolls through me. My tongue is dry, while my palms are soaked. The pressure behind my eyeballs warns me I'm going to cry again, but it's like I don't have the strength anymore. There's nothing left in me.

When we were both little, our mother would slide our heads into her lap. One of us on her right, one on the left, and she'd play with our hair while she hummed a song. It was Heaven, lying in her warmth. Feeling so safe. So cared for.

“Laiken?” Kara asks, not fighting me as I press her down on the bed. Carefully I place her head in my lap, on top of Dominic's huge jacket, her body curled up beside my leg. She's shaped like a knot that can't be undone, and now I know that there are knots inside of her, too.

“Shh,” I hush. “It's okay. I'm so, so sorry you went through all of that, Kara. I really am. It's awful. We’ve both suffered more than anyone ever should but it's okay now.” Right now, you're safe, I think. I want it to be true. It almost feels like it is.

Her eyes shut. There's wetness on her cheek, but it dries, fades, the longer I stroke her hair. I play with the pieces, measuring them, imagining how long they were before Vahn cut them off. I wonder if her number of braid loops would have beat mine.

I don't know how much time passes. I think she's asleep, until she speaks under her breath. “I love you, Laiken.”

“I love you, too.” It's the easiest thing to say.

She puts her hand on the jacket zipper then looks up at me. “This is his, isn't it?”

“Yes.” I don't want to tell her what I did to the dress. Or what I did with Dominic after it was off of me.

Kara looks at it, touching the surface, dwelling on something. “He really did save you tonight.” She glances up at me. “I'm going to be honest. I still don't trust him.”

My hand stills on her head. “How can you say that?”

“Laiken . . .”

“You just said he saved me.”

I feel her resigned sigh through my bones. “One good deed doesn't erase his sins.” She reaches out for my wrist, but I yank my arm away. “Listen to me. Would you forgive his parents, after what they did to you tonight, if they helped you tomorrow?”

I can't look at her. I study the blanket instead. “It's not the same.”

“It is.”

“It's not! Kara, Dominic isn't like his parents.”

Sitting up, she moves away from me. Instantly, I want to go back to touching her hair, to comforting her. “I'm grateful to him for protecting you.” She shows me her profile, her single eye hidden by a layer of lashes. All I can read is her tight frown. “But I'll never be able to forgive him for what he did.”

I can't understand how we can go from reconnecting seconds ago, to this cavernous distance again. Is it really because of Dominic? If I rejected him, could I have the relationship I long for with my sister?

The mattress springs rustle as she stands. Opening my door, she waits a moment. Her shoulders aren't slumped. Her voice is cool and empty. You'd never guess that she was sobbing in my lap a little while ago. “I really am glad you're okay,” she whispers. “But I'll tell you this one last time. Keep away from Dominic. His kindness comes with a price.”