CHAPTER NINETEEN

 

I’m a chicken.

A big, fat, nerdy chicken.

After spending hours under the stars worshipping my body like he promised, and bringing me to five orgasms, Drake and I fell asleep in each other’s arms. But when I woke up at four this morning, I looked over at the man I’ve fallen in love with and got scared.

There’s no way in hell he loves me back. Not in eleven days, now twelve. I feel stupid. I promised myself not to let my feelings get involved, but it happened anyway, and now I’m in love with a man I can’t have.

I’m so beyond stupid.

He looked so peaceful sleeping, the blanket draped across his lower half, showing off his cut abs. I knew then and there that a man like Drake Donovan could never fall for someone like me.

So I ran.

Don’t hate me. I did say I was stupid.

I made sure he was covered, and as quietly as I could, I got dressed and went to my room.

Last night was perfect. More than perfect. He took me places I’ve never been before, made me feel things I’ve never experienced before. I’ll never feel that intensity with another man again, of that I’m certain.

Because he’s special. One of a kind. And now I’ve gone and royally fucked it up by running.

“Hey, we’re—why aren’t you dressed?” Alison asks, stepping into my room and closing the door behind her.

“I’m not feeling too well,” I lie, sniffling for effect.

“Uh-huh,” she mutters, clearly not believing me. She sits next to me and asks, “Was he not good in bed?”

“Alison!” I squeal, my face burning.

She grins. “What? I’m your best friend. I can ask these things. I knew he was too good to be true.”

“No, he isn’t. He’s perfect. But I fucked up this morning. I panicked when I woke up, so I… left him sleeping outside.

“You had sex outside?” she shouts in my face, grabbing my shoulders.

I slap her away. “None of your business.” She frowns, pouting, but I don’t give in. “It was amazing. But I can’t go today and face him, not after leaving him there.”

“I’ve not seen him this morning,” she says, looking over her shoulder like he’ll magically appear. “I can’t believe you just left him.”

“What do you mean?”

She shrugs. “I had breakfast with Emily this morning. She was teaching me how to bake bread.”

I grin, rolling my eyes. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Why did you run away?” She looks me in the eye. If there’s one thing Alison’s good at, it’s reading people’s emotions. “Oh my gosh, you love him?”

I drop my head, sighing. “Yes.”

“And why did that scare you?”

“Are you my shrink now?” I snap.

She just grins. “I’d make an awesome shrink.”

“No you wouldn’t,” I mumble. “Now leave me alone. Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Not for another half hour. Now spill, or I’ll have to take action into my own hands and nipple twist you.”

“You wouldn’t!” I gasp, covering my precious nipples.

“Oh I would, so get talking.”

I sigh. “It won’t work out. It’s been twelve days and I love him? It’s utter madness. Who does that? Me, that’s who. All I’ve done is set myself up for heartache.”

The pity looks she gives make me want to slap her. Almost. “Have you ever thought the reason you’ve never dated is because you knew they weren’t the one? You took a chance on a guy, Pagan, and it must’ve been fate because look at you. You can’t even look at him without going all googly-eyed on him. And don’t even get me started on the coy looks you share when you think no one’s looking. If he doesn’t love you, I’ll eat my hat.”

Her words register, but I don’t have the energy to keep arguing. One, because I was kept up most of the night being made love to, and second, because I’m emotionally drained. I’m a sensitive person by nature, always have been this way. I let things get to me easily if I’m deeply involved in something. And in a way, Alison’s right; my heart hasn’t let me love since Aaron, and even that was puppy love. What I feel for Drake is explosive, world-changing and empowering.

“You don’t wear hats,” I reply sarcastically, to which she rolls her eyes.

There’s a knock at the door. Before I have chance to tell them to go away, it opens, revealing a panicked Drake.

“I’m sorry. I knew I fucked up. I should’ve waited,” he rushes out, then actually blushes when he sees I’m not alone. “Oh, hey, Alison.”

She grins, getting up. I want to drag her back down and beg her to stay, but she just winks at me before leaving. “Hey. I’ll speak to you guys later.”

When the door shuts behind her, Drake walks over to me, his steps unsure and slow. For the first time since I met him, he looks uncomfortable.

“Did I rush you? Hurt you? I’m so sorry I messed this up.”

Heart melting again. He’s just too darn sweet.

“Drake,” I whisper, giving him a small smile. “You could never hurt me. I just got a little overwhelmed.”

He seems to relax, sitting next to me. “It was intense.” He pauses, his soft gaze catching mine. “Pagan… last night was the best night of my life. I, I―”

“Cooey,” Ada sings as she walks into my room, stopping whatever Drake was going to say. A part of me wants to thank her, but the other wants to strangle her. “Boy, you need to get going downstairs. You leave in ten minutes.”

“Don’t you mean we?” he asks, eyeing his grandmother’s outfit, which is exactly what I’ve been doing. Instead of the normal racecourse attire where people dress to the nines, Ada is wearing a purple Juicy Couture tracksuit.

“No, I’m staying home with my girl. We have some wedding stuff to do.”

We do?

“You’re not coming to the races?” he asks. He looks disappointed, and it makes me feel guilty.

“I have a lot to finish.” Which isn’t a lie. I have some stuff I need to get rid of from Ada’s box, and today’s perfect since no one will be here.

“Oh. Will you be free when I get back?”

Ada puts her hands on her hips. “Drake, she’ll be here when you get back. Now go. You need to explain to your mother why you slept naked in the garden last night. She’s worried she might have to call a doctor.”

I bite back laughter when his face turns a bright shade of red, his eyes widening in horror. “What?”

“She also said she could’ve sworn she saw a half-naked woman next to you, but when she went out with more blankets, it was only you there.”

Now it’s my turn to be horrified. Ada winks at me, which only makes this more mortifying.

“I wondered where the extra blankets came from,” he murmurs, almost to himself.

It makes me smile. He looks so boyish when he’s deep in thought. It’s cute. “Go. I’ll be fine. Have fun, and make sure you put a bet down for me.”

He smirks. “And what do I get for doing it?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m standing right here,” Ada snaps.

He doesn’t even seem embarrassed. “Then go away,” he teases.

I gasp. “Drake!”

He shakes his head, cursing. “I’m going. But the moment I’m back, Grams, she’s mine.”

“Good for you. Now scoot.”

I laugh as he walks out, staring longingly at me one last time before shutting the door behind him.

I turn to Ada, smiling. “You don’t need to stay back with me.”

“Oh I was staying anyway. I’m banned from the horses.”

That doesn’t surprise me, but I still ask, “Why?”

She scoffs. “Some weasel rigged the race. My horse was clearly in for the win, and some little kid spooked it with a toy snake.”

“A toy snake? Are kids allowed at the races?”

“Yeah, I’ve got the bloody thing in an evidence bag in my room. He waved that thing around like a bloody psychopath.”

“That doesn’t explain how you got banned.” I hope this isn’t going to end with the police.

“I confronted the kid, and then the manager got involved. We had words, and just when I thought he was coming around to my terms, he called security. It was all a misunderstanding anyway. I was never going to really fill his house with live snakes.”

I curl into a ball, laughing harder than I have in ages. “You didn’t!”

She chuckles. “I really did, but if Pammy ever asks, I never said anything of the sort. She still thinks to this day that the boy hit me with the snake. I told her I’d never step foot inside the place again after the management refused to do anything.”

“And she believed you?” Somehow, I can’t see that happening. Pam is more clued in to Ada’s ways than she thinks. After all, Pam learnt from the best.

“Of course she does. I had a bruise to prove it.”

I laugh. “How on earth did you get a bruise if he never really hit you?”

“I may or may not have shouldered the manager as I was being escorted out. We were on the stairs. He went down and pulled me with him.”

Legend.

“Oh, Ada, you’ve made my day.”

“I thought my grandson did that last night.”

I didn’t think my face could burn any redder. I was wrong. “Let’s change the subject. What did you want to do?”

“Alison told me your plan for the bachelor party.”

Ah, devious Alison. I’m still unsure whether I should be worried about the close connection the two seemed to be getting.

“Great, isn’t it? But I was actually planning on doing something today. You want in?”

“Do pigeons shit?”

I laugh and grab the box she gave me. “Let’s do this.”

 

*** *** ***

 

This really isn’t a good idea.

We could seriously do some damage to Aaron’s mental stability.

I can’t seem to care.

“Are you sure this is a good idea? Alison said he’s pretty wasted. Apparently he’s been getting extra male sexual positions messaged to him today.”

“Did they include pictures?” Ada asks, stopping what she’s doing to look at me.

I grin evilly. “Yes, and went into detail about how good sex is with another male. We might end up giving him a heart attack.”

“We’ve given him a glass of water,” she says incredulously.

“It has laxative in,” I remind her.

“We’re still being nice. I’ll even leave a couple of paracetamol next to it.”

We’ve somehow managed to form the shape of a human body, wrapping sheets around pillows and blankets. We even went as far as to get some red food dye to make it look authentic.

This was my idea, but then Ada decided to put laxative in his drink and swap his loo roll for duct tape.

“What shall we do with it before he comes back?” I muse, looking around his room. They’re due back any minute, and from what Alison said, he’s completely wasted and falling asleep in the back of the car.

“Let’s put it in the wardrobe until he comes back. When he passes out, I’ll come in and put it in the bed next to him. Did you put the snake in the shower?”

Laughing, I nod. “And the mat I picked up.” The bath mat, if you can call it that, turns red when it’s wet. The minute he steps out of the shower, he’s going to leave red footprints and crap his pants.

“Ah yes, I’ll be visiting there once I’m done for the day. My Pammy is going to love them.”

Oh no. Now I regret telling her where I got it. It was a slip of the tongue, and I wasn’t really thinking.

“I don’t think you should―”

“They’re here,” she tells me, looking out the window.

“Come on.” I help her shove the blanket human into the wardrobe before leaving the room, making sure everything is how we found it—sort of.

“Do you think I’ll get the blame?” I ask. When I get no answer, I turn, not finding her. “That sneaky old woman.”

My phone beeps.

ADA: Can’t be seen together.

Yeah right.

More like she doesn’t want to be associated with me when I get the blame.

I meet the others at the door, gasping when Jesse and Drake walk in first supporting a passed-out Aaron. He’s also sporting a black eye, which Alison failed to mention.

“What happened?” I ask, trying to cover my grin.

“He asked some dude if he could help him with the subscription on his phone,” Jesse says, sighing when Aaron starts muttering under his breath.

At my confused expression, Drake explains. “The lad was gay. He thought he’d know about the app or whatever is on his phone because of his sexuality.”

“So the lad gave him a black eye?” There has to be more to the story.

“No.” Jesse’s eyes are full of pity as he stares at his friend. “The dude’s boyfriend thought he was hitting on him, so he punched him out.”

“No!”

“Yes. Then he proceeded to spend the rest of the day getting smashed.” Drake’s unhappy expression makes me laugh. He seems seconds away from dropping Aaron on the floor, and not because he can’t handle the weight.

“Boys, you’re back. Where are the others?” Ada asks, glancing behind them.

“Alison’s outside paying the taxi. The rest were going to finish their drinks and then follow us. We had to get this one back before he ended up in more trouble.”

Ada pops up from out of nowhere. “Ah, I saw you carry him out of the taxi. I’ve put some water and painkillers on his bedside table for when he wakes up.”

Jesse seems surprised before smiling lovingly at his grandma. “Thanks, Grams. That’s awfully kind of you.”

She waves him off. “More than happy to help my grandson’s best friend. Why don’t you two take him up and we’ll see you in the garden. Such a lovely day.”

Such a devious little woman.

 

 

*** *** ***

 

A few hours later, I’m sitting down with Drake, his family and their friends in the garden enjoying a late-night dinner.

We’re discussing the wedding when Jon pipes up, grabbing my attention. “Has anyone seen my best man speech anywhere?”

He’s lost the damn thing three times since he’s been staying here.

“Jon, I found the latest speech in the kitchen. I emailed you a copy in case you lost it again.”

He looks dumbfounded for a second before grinning at me. “You’re a legend. Thank you. But, um… how did you get my email address?”

It’s my turn to grin now. “I can’t reveal my resources, sorry.”

Ada gave me strict instructions not to let on to the others that she has all this information on them. She said it’s her way of protecting the family. Me? I say it’s her way of getting even if they ever try to pull something. Or for her to just have some fun.

“Either way, thank you. I didn’t want to have to write the damn thing out again. It was becoming a chore.”

“Hey,” Jesse yells in mock offence.

“Sorry, bud, but there’s only so much I can remember before I just end up with ‘To the bride and groom’ as my speech.”

Everyone laughs at Jesse’s expression before they go back to talking about the bachelor party. I don’t bother informing Jesse of Aaron’s plans; it’ll just ruin my plans to get even, and I’m sure I can make it up to him.

I’m hoping the England football tickets grant my forgiveness.

Screaming from inside the house echoes outside and everyone drops what they’re doing. At first I think it’s to look behind me, inside the house, but then I realise they’re all staring at me.

“What?” I ask innocently.

“What did you do now?” Ada asks, sounding disgruntled.

I snort, giving her the evil eye. “Nothing, Ada. Whatever do you mean?”

More screaming, this time closer.

“He sounds like he’s seen a ghost,” Jesse comments.

“Or looked in the mirror,” Gabriella chuckles.

“I just want to know how she does it.” Harmony grins. “It’s entertaining, to say the least.”

With mocked outrage, I gasp, holding a hand over my heart. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m doing nothing.”

“Yeah, yeah,” the whole table says, laughing.

That is until Aaron runs out onto the patio, gasping for air. “You… I… there’s… oh my God, what did I do?”

He looks pale as a ghost, sweat running down his face. The only colour is from the black eye he’s sporting.

“What’s wrong?” Pam asks, biting her lip worriedly.

Aaron ignores her, looking to Jesse. “Man, I… there’s… I don’t know what happened.”

“What did you do?” Jesse asks, also concerned now.

“Yeah, what did you do? You look like you’ve seen a dead body,” Ada helpfully comments.

Aaron’s face turns a paisley green and he looks ready to be sick. “My room,” he chokes out, still standing there.

My lips twitch as I go back to my dinner. It gains Alison’s and Amelia’s attention and I shrug, stuffing my face with the yummy hamburger Emily cooked up.

“I’ll go check it out,” Jesse tells the group, and Adam offers to join him. Not wanting to miss out, Drake and Jon get up too, following the men into the house.

Pam must take pity on Aaron because she guides him gently over to the chair. Still completely out of it, he sits down mutely, not looking at anything but his shaking hands.

Ada catches my eye from across the table and winks. I return it, giving her a thumbs up.

This prank couldn’t have gone any better.

Not even five minutes later, the men walk outside. The second they see Aaron, they burst out laughing. His head snaps to the sound, looking horrified and truly scared for his well-being.

“Why are you laughing? There’s a dead fucking body wrapped in a sheet in my bed,” he snaps.

“What?” Amelia gasps.

“Oh no,” Alison chuckles.

“This is epic.” Gabriella grins.

“This is better than Love Island,” Harmony whispers.

“It’s not a dead fucking body. It’s blankets and pillows wrapped in a sheet to make it look like a body,” Drake booms, laughing his arse off. He slaps his knee, walking back towards me and taking his seat. “Best one yet,” he whispers, his breath close to my ear, and images of him from last night whispering how good I felt come back to me, making me blush.

Aaron shakes his head vehemently. “No, I saw the blood. It was everywhere,” he says, voice cracking.

Jesse chuckles, slapping his friend on the back. “My friend, you’ve been played. It’s definitely a bed sheet. Dad’s going to dispose of it.”

He’s not even finished when Adam steps out, cradling the makeshift body in his arms and grinning like a fool. “Pammy, we have to keep this. Imagine what we could do next Halloween.”

Aaron whimpers pathetically.

Pam claps giddily. “Oh, Adam, that would be fantastic. Just think of their faces. It’s a shame we don’t know who designed such a creation or we could get them to make more.”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Ada snaps. “A two-year-old could put that together. Leave it to me, Pammy. I’ll make the next murder mystery night the best.”

“Oh, just marvellous.”

“Halloween? Murder mystery?” I whisper to Drake, taking my eyes off the body and Aaron’s stunned face.

“Who did it? Why would someone do that to me?” Aaron asks quietly, not looking at anyone.

Everyone ignores him, now talking about Halloween, which is months away.

“Every Halloween, Mum and Dad’s friends take turns throwing a Halloween/murder mystery night. Each year it gets more competitive. It’s a tradition, and one that can’t be missed. Mum’s been dying for some new material.”

“I don’t understand why any of this is happening to me!” Aaron yells, banging his fist on the table.

I ignore him, staring at Drake like he’s grown two heads. “But she lives with an evil mastermind. Why doesn’t she just ask her?”

He smirks. “Because at the last party, Grams nearly gave dad a heart attack. Luckily it was only indigestion from choking on his food.”

“What?”

“I don’t deserve any of this, none of it. What have I ever done?” Aaron cries, sounding distraught.

And again, he’s ignored.

“Yeah,” Drake laughs. “Gave us a right scare. Grams had some make-up artist come in and make her look dead. She even went into the walk-in freezer to cool her body down before sitting in the old rickety chair Mum had hired for decoration and pretended to be dead.”

“She didn’t!” I gasp.

A phone beeps.

“She did.”

Aaron groans. “I can’t take any more of these messages. If I wanted to see a fucking cock, I’d look at my own.”

“Isn’t it hard to see something so small though?” Gabriella pipes in, earning a glare from Aaron.

He throws his hands up in frustration just as his phone beeps with another alert. He looks disgusted before finally smashing the device at his feet, stepping on it.

“I’m going to have nightmares for the rest of my life. This week has been traumatising. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever get over it,” he cries, throwing himself back down on the chair in a slump.

“Ah, damn. That app was the best prank we had going,” I pout.

But one look in Ada’s direction tells me she’s already on it. She’ll have his new passwords as soon as he has a phone.

“Surely it’s not that bad,” Pam says softly, but her lips twitch, showing she’s just as amused as the rest of us.

“Pam, I dreamt of cocks last night,” he whispers, mortified.

“I have those dreams all the time,” Ada tells him.

The rest of us choke on laughter, unable to hold it in. “Maybe it’s the universe’s way of telling you something,” Gabriella sings. She’s really enjoying his discomfort, but then again, she hasn’t hidden her dislike for Aaron since I arrived.

“And what’s that?” he snaps, glaring at her.

“That you should be gay and leave the female population the hell alone.”

He rears back like he’s been slapped and gasps. “Take that back.”

“No.” She grins, sipping her drink.

He looks to Jesse. “Get her to take that back. I’m not gay. I love women.”

“But the women just don’t love you,” Gabriella teases.

“That’s not true. Pagan’s in love with me, even after all these years.”

I snort, disgusted at the smug look he gives Gabriella. “Not in this lifetime or the next.”

The group laughs before Aaron turns his attention to me. “When you’re finally ready to admit it, I may not be here waiting for you.”

My mouth gapes open. “You’ll be waiting an awfully long time, buddy.”

He snorts as if what I’m saying isn’t true. “She loves me.”

“Delusional.”

“Okay, enough. Let’s enjoy the rest of the dinner,” Pam says. We all nod at her firm tone, not wanting to argue.

“What shall I do with this?” Adam asks.

“Put Kevin next to Aaron since they’re well-acquainted,” Ada says, gesturing to the body.

 

*** *** ***

Later that night, Drake walks me to my room. As I’m about to open my mouth to explain this morning and why we can’t keep doing this, his is on mine.

“Drake,” I whimper, unsure whether it’s to pull away or to pull him closer.

His kisses are hypnotising, rendering me speechless.

“No more talking. I’ve missed you,” he whispers against my lips, slamming me against the door.

What can I say to that?

When he tugs me up his body, I happily wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him back passionately, leaving us both breathless.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll talk to him.

Tonight it’s just us.