CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

 

As the days keep passing, my time here coming closer to an end, the more anguished I feel inside. My heart is slowly crumbling; by the time we leave, it’ll be nothing but flakes of ash.

After the wedding rehearsal last night, in a stupid drunken moment, I decided to see if we could continue what we have after the wedding.

But now another day has passed and the courage to bring it up to Drake has gone. I’d never be able to handle his rejection, not when I’m so madly in love with him. I’d never recover.

Being a chicken is starting to be a pattern where I’m concerned.

We’ve tried talking a few times, even went so far as to plan a time and place, but either something comes up or we can’t keep our hands off each other long enough to get a word in.

Saying goodbye to him is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. And with the wedding tomorrow, it’s making me feel physically sick.

I’ll even miss his family, including crazy Ada. My time here seems to have gone too quickly. If you’d told me three weeks ago that I wouldn’t want to leave, I’d have laughed in your face. But here I sit, wallowing in my own self-pity.

But then again, if you had told me three weeks ago that I’d be madly in love with a man I’d never see again, I probably would’ve sectioned you.

I just wish I had more time with him, more time to savour every little thing so I never forget my time with him. Not that I will. I’ll never be able to forget him or a single moment of our time together.

“Hey, are you okay?” Alison whispers as we wait for the rest of the girls to arrive. We’ve set up a pamper party for the wedding party as a treat. Pam’s idea and present to everyone for taking time away from their lives to be involved in the big day.

They’ll be pampered with facials, manis and pedis, eyebrow waxing and tinting and even a massage. They’re getting the full works, and I’m envious.

My mood the past two days has been dwindling slowly, and I know people are beginning to take notice. I barely said hello to my mum on the phone this morning before she was threatening to come down here to see what was wrong with me.

Sometimes being the only girl in the family can be a tad suffocating. All the men in my life have babied me from birth, even my twin who is three minutes younger than me. But my mum? I’ll always be her baby girl.

When Lola came along, it was heaven—still is, especially now that we have Cece to watch over. Poor girl doesn’t know what’s coming with the big brutes in our family.

“Yeah,” I lie. “Have you brought the bride’s pyjamas for her to change into?”

She throws me a dirty look as she hands me the specially made bride-to-be pyjamas. We also had maid of honour, bridesmaid, and mother-in-law ones made up.

“Don’t lie to me,” she snaps, clearly having enough of hearing “I’m fine” as my answer every time she asks. “You’ve been moping for days. Did something happen?”

“Don’t shout at me!”

She pushes my shoulder with force, sending me back a step. “No! Now tell me.”

I push her back, ignoring her cry of outrage. “No. Nothing is wrong. Now leave me alone.”

“You’re going to tell me.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, and how are you going to make me?”

She scoffs at my sassy attitude and grabs my hair, tugging it roughly before pinching my side. “Tell me what’s wrong, you bitch.”

My fingers find a chunk of her hair, tugging it down so we’re both bent forward, moving in a circle as I try to pinch her back, not quite reaching. “I said no. It’s none of your business, you whore.”

I cry out when she pinches me again, this time grabbing the sensitive skin under my boob. “I’m not going to stop until you tell me, Pagan.”

“You’re a crazy bitch,” I scream, pulling her hair tighter.

“Now this is what I’m talking about,” I hear. I can’t even lift my head to investigate before she pinches my boob and I forget all about our company.

“Tell me, Pagan. I’m your best friend. I want to know what has you looking like someone shit in your bed.”

“Classy,” I mutter. “Now get off me.”

“No!” she screams loudly and twists my nipple.

I wail in pain, gasping for air. “Because I love him, okay? And we leave in two fucking days. Are you happy now?” I yell, glaring at her.

She releases my hair and, thankfully, my poor abused nipple and steps back. We’re both breathing hard, catching our breath.

“You love who?” Pam asks sweetly.

Horrified, I turn to find Amelia, Ada, Pam, Gabriella, Angela, Hallie and Hannah standing in the doorway. Pam, Harmony, Hallie and Hannah look confused, but Ada and Gabriella seem to be wearing matching grins.

Scary.

“No one.”

“Was that so hard to admit?” Alison mutters.

“You abused my nipples.” I glare at her, rubbing my boob for good measure. “I’m not talking to you.”

“She’s not the only one,” Ada pipes up, and I turn my glare her way. I didn’t even think she was talking to me after Drake confiscated the whiskey stashed in her bag, but here she is, making her point known.

“I’m so confused,” Pam tells us, looking exactly that.

“Oh God. She’s fucking your son, Pam,” Angela snaps.

“Hey!” I shriek, feeling my face heat.

“Watch your mouth, young lady,” Ada admonishes, and Angela cautiously takes a step back.

“And you love him?” Pam asks.

She’s smiling, staring off into space. My guess is she’s planning our wedding, but once she realises we live miles away from each other, that happy glow will soon fade.

I sigh. “Let’s get started.” Another round of embarrassment hits me when I realise the beauticians just had a front row seat to mine and Alison’s performance. They’re all standing in the corner, frozen in shock as they watch on. I clear my throat, getting their boss’s attention. “Do you want to start?”

She shakes her head before smiling. “Hi, everyone. I’m Lynn, and these are my employees, Katie, Georgia, Lacey, Megan, Zoe and Sky. Which one of you is the lucky bride?”

Amelia steps forward, holding her hand up as she gazes around the room in amazement. She should—Pam spared no expense tonight. We’ve had furniture removed to make way for the two massage beds, foot spas, and recliner beds for facials and to relax. We had some dim lights brought in, giving the room a soft glow, and music plays in the background as lavender essence burns through the room, the aroma relaxing.

“I’m the bride.”

“Do you know what you’re having done first?” she asks, handing Amelia a glass of champagne as the other girls pass out the rest.

“Where are the snacks?” I whisper to Alison.

“Emily is bringing them up with the cucumber water.”

“She wouldn’t let you in the kitchen, would she?” I chuckle.

Pouting, she shakes her head. “I don’t get it. I only wanted a midnight snack. I thought it would be okay, but it’s like she has some sort of superpowers because she knew I was there.”

“You dropped milk all over her oven,” I remind her.

She rolls her eyes. “Only because she scared the hell out of me. I should’ve remembered the second night I tried to make hot chocolate, but she did the same thing then.”

I giggle, knowing how much she loves her hot drinks, whether it’s coffee, tea, or hot chocolate.

“Pagan?”

I look over to Amelia. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“We’d like you and Alison to have the first massages. I don’t mind what I have first, I’m just too excited. I’m getting married tomorrow!” she squeals, grinning ear to ear.

I look to Alison, whose shocked expression probably matches my own. I just wanted to go to my room, leave the girls to relax so I could wallow in self-pity by myself.

I’m about to excuse myself when Alison jumps up, clapping happily. “Really?”

Amelia turns to me. “I want to thank you for everything you’ve done. Ours hasn’t been a typical wedding, I’m sure. You’ve worked so hard on it and ignored certain… incidents that would normally send people packing. You deserve to have a night to fully relax.”

My eyes water hearing her words. But as much as I’d love to lie down and get a massage, I just need time to think, to process everything and find the courage to say goodbye to Drake when the time comes.

I’m about to decline and thank her for such a generous gift when Alison steps forward, hugging Amelia briefly. “Thank you so much. Pagan was only telling me yesterday how much she could use a massage.”

I did say that.

“Good. Now go get into something more comfy. Pam had some dressing gowns brought in today for you.”

“Are you sure? This is your night, after all.”

Amelia smiles. “More than sure. Go get changed,” she orders as Pam hands me a dressing gown, still dreamy-eyed.

Oh Lord.

 

*** *** ***

 

“Pagan.”

Something soft runs down my back, making me shiver and snuggle closer to the warm towel beneath me.

“Pagan, baby, wake up.”

“Go away,” I groggily tell Drake.

“You have to get up,” he whispers softly, kissing the back of my neck.

“No! I’m having a massage.”

I keep my eyes closed, ignoring his chuckle as he runs his fingers down my bare back.

“It’s time for bed, baby.”

“Go away, Drake, or so help me God, I’ll set Ada on you.”

“You wouldn’t.” The amusement in his voice says he doesn’t believe me. But I’m so goddamn tired, I really would do anything at this point.

And it’s all his fault.

He’s kept me up all night, every night, getting to know every inch of my body and making me scream his name from every position known to man.

“I would. Now go away. You’re not allowed in here. We’re being pampered.”

He chuckles, pressing another kiss to my lower back. “Mum came to fetch me when they couldn’t wake you up.”

I open one eye and, sure enough, no one else is in the room. “Um, where did everyone go?”

I sit up, pressing the sheet to my chest and rubbing my tired eyes, wishing I could just stay in here for the night.

“They went to bed. It’s midnight.”

I must have dozed off during my luxurious massage, because I don’t remember much after feeling the pressure of Megan’s hands on my back. “Why didn’t they wake me?”

“They let you sleep because of how hard you’ve been working. When the ladies needed to go, they tried to wake you up then, but you wouldn’t budge.”

Yeah right. Like Ada or Alison would let me stay asleep. “Where’re your grams and Alison?”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Alison wouldn’t do anything with everyone here, but she did tell me to get her if you didn’t wake up. Grams wanted to cover you in seaweed or something they had, but Mum wouldn’t let her. She threatened to remove all the alcohol from the wedding.”

Saving grace for Pam and Alison being too professional to throw water over me in front of clients.

God! Even calling them ‘clients’ doesn’t seem right anymore. They feel more like family to me and have been a delight to work for. I wish all my clients were as pleasant as the Donovans.

I bite my lip to stop the tears from forming. “It’s not work that’s tiring me out, you know.” I glare at him for good measure.

His lips twitch. “Whatever do you mean?”

Rolling my eyes, I try to push him away, but I’m just too tired to move. I yawn, not even covering my mouth.

“Come on, sleepyhead. Let’s get you to bed.”

“I don’t want to mo―” He sweeps me up into his arms, carrying me bridal style out of the room. “What are you doing?”

“Carrying you. You’re too tired, baby.”

God, he’s such a gentleman. And the endearment melts my heart. I thought hearing someone call me ‘baby’ would make me want to gag, but when it comes from Drake, I feel precious.

We’re silent as we make our way to his room. I don’t even bother arguing over him not taking me to mine or tell him that his mother knows about us. It can wait until tomorrow.

Ah, tomorrow. I inwardly roll my eyes because I know it’s not going to happen.

I’m only wearing knickers, so when he lays me down in the bed, he only has to remove the towel I had covering my chest. I watch as he pulls his T-shirt over his head. I’ll never getting tired of his body, or how good it feels to run my fingers through his fine sheen of chest hair, or the ridges of his abs.

Drake unbuckling his belt gains my attention, and I go from staring at his amazing abs to the V dipping into his faded jeans. His fingers slowly undo the top button before he unzips, leaving the fly hanging open.

My thighs begin to quiver and a shock of wetness surges between my legs when I notice he’s not wearing any underwear. The tip of his dick pokes out and I lick my lips, remembering how good he tastes.

A loud groan fills the room and I look up to meet his gaze. His eyes heat as he steps forward. “Oh, Pagan, you really shouldn’t have looked at me like that,” he whispers, dropping his trousers before me.

His large dick springs free, pointing directly at me as he stands there unashamedly naked as the day he was born.

He steps forwards again, pressing his knee to the bed before lying above me, his gaze never once leaving mine. I can’t look away, not even when his lips meet mine, licking the seam and demanding entrance.

“I will never get enough of you,” he whispers, kissing me slowly, passionately, stealing all coherent thoughts from my mind.

His dick pressing against my wet heat has me moaning and arching my back, but he pushes me down to keep me still.

I don’t fight, not when I feel the tip of his dick enter me. His movements are slow, agonising, as he enters, never picking up speed or thrusting harder.

I don’t know whether to scream in pleasure or frustration. After what feels like an eternity, frustration wins out because I need him more than I need my next breath.

“Please, Drake. More.”

His hold tightens, not letting me move. “No. Tonight I’m going to fuck you slow and sweet, baby.”

He moans when my walls clamp around him like a vice. Every time he fully fills me, he hits the spot that drives me wild, heightening my pleasure.

He nibbles my neck, moving lower towards my breasts as he goes. My hands move to his ass, my nails digging into his skin as I pant.

When he latches onto my nipple, I cry out as a tingle shoots straight to my clit. The tension is slowly building, torturous yet satisfying as I try to move with each thrust.

His mouth latches onto my other nipple, paying that one the same amount of attention. Sweat beads on my forehead and back as I struggle to prolong what he’s doing to me. But each time he hits my cervix, my orgasm comes closer and closer. I know when I climax, I’ll never be the same again.

“More,” I plead, tears in my eyes as I grip the man I love with everything I have.

“Let go,” he grits out, his breaths coming faster.

He pinches my nipple whilst sucking on the other and it’s enough to make me explode, my core clenching tightly around him as I scream out my orgasm, calling his name.

“Pagan! Fuck! Pagan.” He roars out his release, his cock swelling inside me before his whole body tenses and he buries his face in my chest.

I feel completely boneless as I lie there trying to catch my breath after the most incredible sex we’ve ever had together.

When I read ‘made love’ in a book, I always scoffed and wondered how stupid it sounded. But Drake Donovan just made love to me.

To me.

When the first tear falls from my eye, I know exactly what I’ll be doing tomorrow.

I just hope what I’m about to do is the right decision.