“I want to leave, Kade.” That's all I've been thinking since this morning. I can’t sleep. I’m wide awake, lying on the bed. I’ve been in this room all day while Kade’s been gone 'cleaning up that mess', as he referred to it.

I keep seeing Victor’s lifeless eyes.

I’m not okay.

“Soon, angel.” I shake my head as Kade dries off his hair and drops the towel on the floor.

I was quiet when he came back in. I laid still in bed while he got undressed and went to shower. But I’m not okay. I can’t just be quiet and wait for him anymore.

I need to get out of here.

“I can’t stay here any longer.”

He walks to the bed and stands in front of me. Just being close to him again calms a part of me, but I'm still ready to bolt. I'm done waiting

Kade climbs on the bed and cups my chin in his hand, lifting my eyes so I have to stare into his. It's a motion he does often and usually I lean into his touch, but not now.

He starts to speak, but I interrupt him.

“I’ve never seen a dead man up close before. I can’t. I can’t stop seeing it. And the way he looked at me.” I shake my head nearly violently as the fear comes back, squeezing my lungs of their breath.

“You’ll be alright, angel. I’m here now.” His voice has that calming tone he uses with me, but I don't want to be calmed down.

He walks to the bed and takes a seat next to me. Just being close to him again calms a part of me, but I’m still not okay.

“I’m sorry I had to leave you today. I would have stayed, but I had to take care of that.”

His eyes search mine, but I can’t give him the acceptance I know he wants. I can’t cave into him. I need to leave.

“The only other person I’ve ever seen die is the man you killed that night, and--” Before I can finish, Kade leaves me. He quickly sits up from the bed and turns his back to me, reaching for the towel on the floor and going back to the bathroom.

My body stiffens. “Kade?” I call out for him and move the sheets off of me as I scoot closer to the edge.

He's never done that before, just leave me like that. I start to question my resolve. I think back on what I said and I regret saying it all, although I don't know why. I don't want him to leave me.

As the time passes and he doesn't respond, my heart beats faster with worry. I can't lose him. I need him.

I let out a breath as he comes back into the room. He doesn't seem mad or upset. I part my lips to ask him what I said, but I'm afraid to. I wait for him.

“I’m sorry I’ve done such a horrible thing to you, angel,” he says with sincerity as he comes back into the room. “I promise I’ll take care of you. I’ll make this right.” His voice is firm. But something's wrong. He’s holding something back from me.

“What’s wrong?” I ask hesitantly. I’ve never seen him like this before. Fear overwhelms me. “Did Ricky find out?”

Kade shakes his head. “I wish I could tell you. I want to tell you everything.” He bends down and kisses me. “Ask me for something I can give you. Anything.”

“I want to leave.”

He lowers his head, his forehead pressed to mine and sighs. My heart sinks in my hollow chest.

“I will never let any of them hurt you.” He speaks barely above a murmur.

“He did hurt me though. Victor hurt me.” Kade's eyes close tighter as I continue my plea. “I don’t want this anymore. I can’t do that again.” I don’t know how to explain it to him.

I can’t do that again. I don’t want to. I don't want any of this anymore.

“I’m sorry. That was a mistake. I thought it would prevent things from getting out of hand.” He takes a deep breath. “I thought wrong.”

I don’t know what to say to him.

“I'm sorry, angel.” His soft blue eyes look deep into mine. “Please forgive me, tell me you'll forgive me.”

My heart swells with the need to soothe his pain. I don't like seeing him like this. “I forgive you.”

Kade's lips press gently against mine the second the words leave my lips. I moan softly, accepting his gentle touch. His hands move to my lower back and mine spear into his hair. A calmness settles over me. This is what I need. I need Kade.

Kade breaks our kiss and looks at me with a spark of lust in his eyes.

“Lie back,” Kade commands me, and although a part of me doesn't want to, I obey.

My breath is shaky as Kade grips my hips and pulls me to the edge of the bed.

“Relax, angel. I’ve got you.” I put a hand over my face, trying to calm myself as he spreads my knees farther. I'm a mix of emotions and I feel as though I'm being pulled in too many different directions. He lowers his lips to my pussy and my body shudders as he takes a languid lick.

I’m not prepared for him, not like I usually am. My head falls to the side as he sucks my clit into his mouth.

I heat for him instantly and close my eyes with a small moan. My fingertips dig into the mattress, and I have to work hard to keep my body still. I want to wrap my legs around his head and rock my pussy into his face. But I don’t.

I stay still and let him do with me as he wants. His large hands grip my ass and angle me for him. He spears his tongue and fucks me with it over and over. My mouth falls open as my belly stirs with desire and need.

He takes me to the edge and I’m almost there, but this isn’t what I need. I need him.

“More, please.” I do something I’ve never done. I reach down and pull him on his shoulders. I need to feel him. I need to be as close to him as possible.

My eyes widen as I realize what I did, but the heat in Kade’s eyes as he climbs over my body erases the momentary fear of acting out. He pulls me across the bed under him and devours my lips with his.

I can faintly taste myself on his tongue, but I don’t care. My hands travel up his muscular body and I wrap my legs around his hips. He moans into my mouth and moves his hard dick to my opening, pushing in slowly.

His girth stretches my walls and I throw my head back and moan into the cool air. His lips suck at my neck as he pushes himself deeper inside of me. He stills deep inside of me, buried to the hilt, and captures my lips. It's almost too much. I feel so full and desperate for him to move. He doesn't though.

He kisses me as though he needs the air in my lungs to breathe.

I feel his passion, and it consumes me. His hands grip my hips tighter and he pulls out for a moment and then slams into me. Fuck! My mouth pops open with a silent scream. It's so good, but too overwhelming. His eyes stare into mine as he does it again and again.

Each hard pump heightens the edge of my release. My body tenses and heats.

“Kade,” I whimper, and that’s his undoing. A low growl erupts from his chest and he buries his head in the crook of my neck as he fucks me relentlessly into the mattress. He pounds into me over and over again. Each hard thrust smacks against my clit and makes my body that much hotter.

My head thrashes, and my fingernails dig into his shoulders. I struggle not to cry out.

“Mine,” he growls into my neck.

My eyes close and my head falls back as he fucks me harder, owning my body with each hard thrust.

“Mine.” He nips my neck and then my shoulder.

I can't contain the strangled scream of pleasure as he pushes my legs out wider and thrusts deeper inside of me, pushing me to a point of slight pain that's overwhelmed with pleasure.

“Kade!” I scream his name as he loses control and ruts between my legs with a savage need. My lungs refuse to work as my temperature rises, and waves of pleasure rock through my body with a paralyzing force. My mouth opens with a silent scream and Kade’s quick to bite my bottom lip and then my throat as he rides through my orgasm, racing for his own release.

He stills deep inside of me and groans from deep within his chest. He thrusts short, shallow pumps that only seem to prolong my orgasm.

My body shudders with a chill as he pulls out of me and leaves me for a moment. I feel overwhelmed with a hot, tingling sensation rippling through my body in waves.

The aftershocks dim as Kade wipes between my legs with a warm cloth and I settle into the mattress.

Kade holds me close to him. His warmth settles into every part of me, calming me and letting me relax into the bed.

A calmness washes over me and I begin to think that everything will be alright, but then Kade’s phone beeps from the nightstand. He pulls away from me, rolling onto his back and picking it up. I miss him instantly. I need him to come back to me, but he doesn't. I watch his face as he looks at the message.

The softness in his features vanishes and the cold façade returns.

He gets up from the bed without saying a word and walks to his dresser.

I slowly sit up and watch as he dresses himself.

“Kade?” I ask him. He can't leave me. I need him.

He looks at me as he pulls his pants up and zips and buttons them, but he doesn't say anything..

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, angel. Go to bed.” I can tell from his voice he’s not fine. A weight settles against my chest, threatening to suffocate me.

“Kade, please don’t leave me.” I pull the covers tight around me and up to my chest. I don’t want to be left alone.

He walks to the bed and gives me a look of sympathy mixed with something else… longing. It's a look of longing. He plants a soft kiss on my lips and I move my hand to the back of his head to deepen it, but he pulls away before I’m able to.

“I’m sorry, angel.” His thumb brushes along my cheek and then he leaves me.

I stare at the door, waiting for him to come back. Unable to sleep, and unable to stop seeing the longing in his eyes.