Chapter 24

He pulls at my clothes, hands coming everywhere, fast and ripping. He wants me, this is evident in the way he looks at me and what’s happening between his legs as his cock is hard and ready. Not wanting it anywhere near me, I push away until my head hits the wall and smacks against it hard, hurting my already bruised scalp.

“Think of me as one of them, Mil,” he whispers when he manages to remove my pants and my underwear.

I cringe as his hands skim my bare legs, wanting them gone, then his mouth comes down kissing his way up, past my belly button to my breast pushing my shirt out of the way. I lay stock still wanting nothing more than him gone. Then the unexpected happens, his hand touches me there and I feel wet.

Screaming at myself for even feeling this way, I hate it. I hate him right now in this moment. Right at this moment I want him dead, with that same knife he’s hiding from me, the same knife he lured me here with.

“Relax, Mil.”

My body does so on his command. He purrs near my ear, and I hate the sound of it. I hate him. But my legs spread when he comes in between them.

Evil.

Sex.

This is my punishment for wanting it all the time. For being a whore just like her. Is this the reason she was one? Because no matter how much you hate the person you’re fucking, you’re able to forget about the person who touches you, and forget about the world around you, and lose yourself in the act itself?

Fighting that thought away, I start to kick him. When he leaves my body, my hands are tied together, but they attempt to fight him off. He pins my legs down, but he isn’t fast enough to catch my hands. I hit him with all I have, straight into his face, making him reel backward losing his grip on me. I squirm to the back of the bed, putting distance between us.

He stands to hold his face, and his forehead scrunches in anger. “You’ll pay for that, Mil.” He walks away leaving me naked and alone in the room, his clothes staying where they are on the floor, and I hear the door lock. How did he get a lock on the other side of the door? How long has he had this planned? Then I hear items being moved around.

Is he barricading me in here?

There’s a window in this room but it’s completely covered up by boards on the outside. There’s nothing to escape through. The only way to get out is through that door he just went out of. Collapsing on the dirty mattress, I curl myself up into a ball and close my eyes, listening. I hear a car leave and I know he’s just left me here to rot. This is my punishment for not wanting him when he wants me. My eyes focus on the stain on the wall, water drips slowly into the corner of the room. It’s apparently raining, and I didn’t even know. I loved the rain as a child, the way the sky darkened and the clouds took hold. Now I’m a prisoner listening and counting each drop.

***

The rain stopped sometime after I woke the first time, it stopped and never came back. Giving me nothing to do but to think. Everything has run through my head. Should I just seduce him when he comes back, pretend to want him so I can try to escape after he’s done with me? Then my fight would kick in, and I wanted to kill him and even smashed myself against the wall thinking I could break it to be set free. All I got for my trouble was bruises that now litter my back.

The only thing in the room other than the mattress is a cup, and I guess that’s the only place I can relieve my bladder.

Now, all I can smell is urine everywhere.

How long until someone searches for me?

How long until someone actually misses me?

Will Connick think I’ve just run again?

Does he know I wouldn’t run a second time? I didn’t want to run the first time.

***

Another day passes, my stomach is so sore now.

So sore.

My hands feel weak. It’s an effort to lift them, so they lay exactly where I am, next to my side to try to save my energy. So much of my body is sore, it’s not just my stomach, it’s like a pile of things, everything hitting me all at once. My stomach, though, that cries, more loudly than the cries that leave my own mouth.

To die of hunger would be an awful thing. My eyes search the ceiling of this old trailer—nothing is there but mold, a light, and chipped paint. I wonder if I could have been someone else, someone who didn’t fall for a demon by the name of Derrick.

Connick has his own demons, but for some unknown reason I still haven’t quite worked out, I want to be near him all the time. Even when I know I shouldn’t. He has evil, there is no doubt about that, but so do I.

Do we match?

Is it possible for us to balance each other out?

I can’t judge him on all his mistakes, just as I wouldn’t want him to judge me. He is different when he’s with me. I see something in him that draws me in, something I never had with another man, especially Derrick. Derrick was someone who took what I didn’t know I was giving, then he abused it.

Now, he wants my love. I laugh at that, my mouth is cracked from my dry lips, but the laugh still leaves them anyway. It’s not even as painful as it should be. I lick my dry lips and close my tired eyes, hoping I won’t wake in this hell hole tomorrow.

***

The day finally comes when I hear a car. I’m too dehydrated and exhausted from starvation to move. All I can do is sleep. Otherwise, the hunger pangs hurt me too much.

Could it be Von?

I told him if I went missing to try and find me, to let someone know.

Has someone finally found me?

Then the footsteps come, followed by the moaning and creaking of the door. Then objects are being moved. I should be up on my feet ready to fight for my life, but I physically cannot shift. Eyeing the door, I watch as he walks in with his hands full, a bag in each. He eyes me, then looks around the room. I’ve managed to get my underwear back on but failed with my shirt thanks to my hands being cuffed.

“It stinks, Mil. You stink. Stand up.”

I want to listen to his demands, I really do, but it’s too hard to stand, so I stay where I am, watching him through sleepy eyes. He shakes his head then pulls out a bottle of water, throws it near my head. I cup it with both hands, trying to undo the lid. The minute I do the water touches my lips, and my mouth loves me for it, but my stomach not so much. It tightens and wants to know what’s coming in after so long.

Then something else drops next to me. Sandwiches. I tear open the packet and bite into the first one. It’s dry and delicious all at the same time, from the moment it hits my lips, I can’t eat it fast enough before he speaks.

“Stand now, Mil. Shower. You stink.”

The food and water threaten to come back up, and I cup my mouth trying to hold it down when it threatens. He walks out and I hear the shower run. Managing, but on shaky legs, I walk to where he’s waiting, wanting more than anything to climb into that shower, yet not wanting him to watch me or be anywhere near me.

“Now, Mil, I don’t have long.”

Taking off my panties, I hold them close to me with my back to him when I step into the small cubicle. I scrub them as well as myself with a scented soap to remove the smell that has been me for the last few days. It’s difficult with my hands cuffed together and my body feeling so weak, but somehow I manage.

Is he only cleaning me to have his way with me again?

I should have stayed dirty, he wouldn’t want me then.

“Why am I here?” I ask.

He’s silent then the curtain is pulled back, and he leans against the wall watching me shower.

“He kept secrets from you. Do you know that?”

Looking at him in confusion he answers me.

“Connick. Do you know who he is, Mil? At least you know who I am. Yet, you’d run to him if he were here, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes.”

He scoffs at me. “Just to get rid of me? You would go to him? The man who hasn’t told you a single thing about who he is?”

“I don’t need to know who he is, I know enough.”

He laughs now. “You don’t know anything, Mil.” He steps closer and leans in to turn the shower off then drops a bombshell on me. “He’s my brother, Mil. My brother. He knows all about you. He was at some of the parties you came to. You remember them, don’t you?”

I was always given to someone. I always had to sleep with someone. Some didn’t have names, some I chose to forget.

“He can’t be.”

“Different mothers, Mil. Still, he knows who you are, and he wanted you because you were mine. He’s more fucked up than I am. He’s followed you forever. I had him do so with one of his companies. He’s stepped over the line, though. He wasn’t meant to make contact with you. You aren’t his no matter how much he says otherwise. You were mine first.”

Shaking my head, I don’t believe him, not at all. Then he pulls out his phone and flicks through until he finds what he wants and shows it to me.

“Look familiar?” It’s me. Derrick has his arm wrapped tightly around me with Connick next to him.

My legs give way, and I drop to the bottom of the shower. “Leave me alone,” I say to him as his hand comes in contact with me.

“I can’t, Mil. Can’t you see? What you love about him is me. But I’m here now to remind you of that. You don’t have to love him anymore because I’m here.”

Is that the truth?

Was it all a lie?

Do I love him because he reminded me of Derrick?

I can’t believe that.

I won’t believe that.