Chapter 11

The next day, I packed all my stuff, ready to move again. This time I’m going back to my old neighborhood. At least there, I felt safer than I do right now in this apartment.

When I arrived, I discovered that my old house was taken, but I found another one not far from my old job, which I’m walking into now. I’ve been here for a few days, getting everything together and organizing a few things, but at the moment I’m hoping my old job is still available.

Von is there behind the counter talking to Serena. They are very close, leaning in together, a little too close for a working relationship. The door bangs behind me and both their heads turn my way. Serena squeals when she sees me, running over and wrapping her arms around me. Von just stares with his arms crossed over his chest, I can tell he’s not impressed at all.

When she releases me, she pulls back keeping her hands on my shoulders and basically yells in my face, “Where have you been?”

I look past her to Von and see him rock-still in his stance. “I had a family emergency,” I say, lying. I hate lying to them, but sometimes it’s necessary.

“You had no cell while in this emergency?” Von asks.

Serena drops her hands from my shoulders and walks back to the bar.

What can I say?

I was hospitalized because I’m partially crazy. And I escaped captivity while being held at my ex’s house so here I am…

Thinking that wouldn’t work at all, I have to go basic. I take a few steps in following her when I see her smack his shoulder basically telling him to go easy.

Something is definitely going on there, I think.

Has it always been, though? Was I just too blind to see it?

Von relaxes his shoulders and his stance softens. “You back for your job?” he asks me.

I look to the ground before I make my way back to face him. “Is it still available?” I ask with some semblance of hope.

Serena looks up to him waiting for his reply, just as I am. He sighs loudly then nods his head.

I manage a smile and walk closer to them. “Thank you, Von.”

He grunts rather loudly as he walks away then says, “You start tonight.” The words leave his mouth with a rough edge, and they surprise me making me jump. Turning, I smile at him and nod my head.

Despite my life being utter shit at the moment and making me want to give up on everything, there’s something in the back of my mind that tells me to just keep going. Keep going and don’t stop. So that’s what I’ve been doing, trying not to give up. I think that may have been what my mother had done, given up.

I speak with Serena for a while, she talks about her kids and how they’re going. Nodding my head at the appropriate times, I smile as well.

Customers start filtering in and it becomes busier. Realizing my shift will start soon, I leave her to work and head back home to change and get ready.

This place I call home now has a sense of homeliness to it. It makes me feel calm. Like I might actually want to stay here, instead of renting small places, never decorating, and knowing I will probably not stay for long.

Walking into my own bedroom, which this house has, now feels odd. I never get attached to places or things, but I don’t want to run this time, and this has made me want to actually invest in something that I feel good in. Hopefully, Derrick doesn’t know where I live now, and I can stay hidden from him. Though, if he comes back for me, I won’t be so shocked or defenseless anymore.

I’ve signed up for some self-defense classes starting tomorrow, and plan to carry a knife with me everywhere I go from now on. Changing quickly, I pull out some of my old clothes from my bag and throw them on and run out the door. I need to be more efficient and show that I care. Earn my keep, so to speak. I like working there, despite the reasons I left, which had nothing to do with my job. It was one of the first places I felt comfortable in for quite some time.

Sliding into my car, I drive to work, parking in my usual spot and turn off the motor. I take a few calming breaths before I get out of the car. This is a place that I’ve been coming to for years, yet the nerves never change as I walk past all the smokers and loud drinkers sitting outside.

Making my way in, Serena spots me and smiles big. Her shift finishes when I start, so she can go home to be with her kids. Walking over to her, she passes me an apron and kisses my cheek before she walks out. She stops near Von, and I see them whisper something before she leaves.

Von stays at his place at the door and doesn’t move for the rest of the night. My shift goes fast, as it usually does. Tonight, we have a band on, and slow songs start as the night comes to an end. People slowly dribble out, leaving the few stragglers who are nursing their beers. I start helping the girls with wiping down and disinfecting the tables. When a hand lands on my back, making me jump and freak because I don’t have anything to protect myself, I spin around getting ready to scream for Von when my mouth dries up by who is in front of me.

“Connick,” his name drips from my lips. I’m not sure what it is about him that makes me act the way I do, or even think the way I do around him. He’s so tragically beautiful, I’m afraid if he speaks that he will be able to bend me to his will.

No. That’s not going to happen.

I have to show restraint.

Even against someone who looks like him, fucks like him. Gosh, just thinking about him makes my knees weak and my panties wet.

I haven’t had sex for months.

I need sex like I need to breathe.

He’s dressed like sex, he smells like sex. I want to crawl up onto the table and let him have me any way he pleases. Even if I don’t understand who he is because he sure as shit knows who I am. Yet, somewhere inside me, I’m not scared of him. Somehow, I feel somewhat comfortable around him. My hands grip my apron in front of me, and I look up to those dangerous eyes that hold so many sexual promises—violet with a hint of fuck me, is what they scream at me.

“Milanka,” my name trickles from his lips, those sensual lips. I shake my head trying to expel all the sexual thoughts running through my brain right now—too risky, I can’t do it.

He steps closer, invading my space. His smell is too much, so I sidestep so I’m not so close to him anymore.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him, keeping my eyes pinned on him. Even when they know they shouldn’t be looking at him.

Does he look this good because I haven’t been with anyone?

That has to be it, right?

I knew it wasn’t, though. Connick oozes sex and all things far too addictive. He licks his full lips and I instantly do the same, mimicking his movements. I want him so bad.

“I came to see you.”

I tuck my washcloth into the front of my apron and cross my arms over my chest to stop myself from fidgeting. “You need to leave. And please… don’t wait for me either,” I ask him.

His mouth is in a thin line as he looks to me like he’s debating my statement over and over in his mind. It’s not a question, I don’t want him to follow me home or even know where I live.

“You don’t want to see me again?” he asks me.

I look around, my eyes skirting everywhere but to look at him.

How do you answer that when you’re in the position I’m in right now?

He’s the most delicious thing I’ve ever set my eyes on and I wanted to jump his bones right where we stand. Still, I’m afraid that he’ll be my biggest mistake, and that’s saying something with my luck for men.

“Please leave,” I beg of him.

He gives me a slight nod, then turns, making the space between us larger and gifting me my thoughts back in one piece. Before he gets too far away, he stops and turns back to me, his black hat covering his eyes from a distance, his dark clothing hugging his toned body.

Sex is what he is—the type that walks, breathes and fucks hard.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He doesn’t give me a chance to respond as he walks out the exit, leaving me in an almost empty bar with a few drunk guys who have passed out at their tables. I quickly make light work of the tables, cleaning them, then finishing up behind the bar giving the polished black marble another shine.

Von’s waiting for me at the door ready to walk me to my car. His hands are crossed over his chest, and I know instantly he hasn’t forgiven me for walking out on him and this place. I will have some deep groveling to do before that happens. He opens the front door and walks next to me to my car. I nod my head as he steps off to leave, when he stops and turns around to face me.

“I’m glad you are back, Milanka. Just don’t do that again. It’s your last chance.” He walks away, not letting me say anything in reply.

I’m determined not to do that to him again. I have to start earning peoples’ trust and making lasting friends. Because, what if I do go missing? No one would care. Then no one would look for me. And let’s face it, Derrick could keep me forever, and no one would even know it was happening. I would never allow that to happen again.

***

Waking the next day after having the best night’s sleep, I start my day off with a rich delicious coffee and a bagel slathered in cream cheese. Pulling on my workout clothes, I booked my first self-defense class to start today. I need moves, serious moves to protect myself. Knowing some basics won’t get me far when Derrick can overpower me so damn easily.

Arriving at the front of the gym, the doors are open and I walk straight in. A lady smiles at me when I walk up to the front reception area, and I feel terrible that I never once cared enough about this. She looks like she could bench press me easily. She’s sweet and tells me the trainer has set up a private class for me and gives me instructions on where to go. I thought it may have been a group session—I didn’t realize it was a one-on-one.

Walking through, I see men and woman all working out. Looking toward the back of the large open space littered with workout equipment, I see the back door she spoke about and pull it open when I get to it. Walking in, I set my bag down and sit on the mat while I wait. The door opens, the same one I just walked in through, and when I turn to see who it is I swear, loudly.

“Oh… fuck me!” Leaves me my mouth at the sight of him. I shake my head. Honestly, what are the chances that he’s the person walking in right now? With another quick shake of my head, I stand up and grab my bag. “This is not fucking happening,” I moan to myself.

“You’re leaving already? Without the lesson you paid for?” His sexy voice oozes over to me.

Tragically beautiful.

Every day, every time I see him, how is life that fair to him?

Connick smirks and I drop my bag, I like it when he looks at me like that.

“Are you everywhere I am? Or are you just stalking me?” I ask, raising my eyebrow in question.

“I own a lot of businesses in this area. Probably most of the ones you walk into actually.”

His statement shocks me a little. “You’re rich, aren’t you? Not just one business rich, you come from money. I see a lot of people, every day people, wealthy people, but you’re different. It oozes from you.” The words came too fast, and I zip my mouth shut just as fast.

He smirks at me and nods his head, and my hands instantly start moving and fidgeting.

“That makes you uncomfortable, I see.” His eyes observe my reaction to him, they have a glint of humor to them.

Every person who has money that I’ve encountered I’ve ended up not liking. They have used or abused me. People with money just don’t sit well with me at all. Maybe it’s a stigma, I’m not sure, but uncomfortable is how I feel around him now.

“I should go,” I say reaching for my bag again.

He steps forward and stops me. His hand reaching out and touching my arm which sends a shiver through me.

“If you want to learn defense I am the best in the state, Milanka. I can teach you in one class how to defend yourself.”

His words ring true and I believe him. I need to do this, I need to learn how to protect myself. Dropping my bag from my hand, I stand back up and he removes his hand from my arm as I do. While looking up to him, I nod my head just the once. Trying to not let emotions get ahold of me is the best thing I can do because I need to learn this, even if it is from him.

He steps out onto the mat and waves for me to follow. I do, and he starts explaining moves to me that seem pretty simplistic, then he asks me to practice them on him. His body comes close and soon our bodies are touching. I manage to get out of two holds he has on me after only a few tries under his instruction. And with all my might, I try not to concentrate on his body touching mine during the whole class. He teaches me how to eye gouge, knee kick, and some other more elementary self-defense moves.

Walking back to my bag, I check the time. We’ve been doing this for over two hours. How does time go that fast?

Shit! I signed up and paid for only a thirty-minute class.

“I’ll pay for the extra time,” I say to him, while I sit on the ground stretching my legs. When he doesn’t answer me, I look up to see him watching me and my moves. “I’ll pay,” I repeat again a little louder this time.

He snaps out of his gaze and looks to me. “Don’t be stupid! No need to pay for something I would do for free. Go and get a refund on what you’ve paid already,” he says, nodding to the front of the store.

I shake my head. That’s not happening. “I’m not asking for my money back. I paid for a service, Connick, and I got that service.”

He ignores me and lifts his shirt up over his head and then uses that said shirt to wipe his face. If I weren't on the floor already, I would be, after one look at that body.

Sex. Sex. Sex, chants in my head.

Taking a deep breath and looking away from all that he has going on, I grab my bag and stand up, not looking at him and his gorgeous body as I walk out. Gazing up to the ceiling, I curse at the gods and want to strangle them.

This could also be why I have no luck, I do have a potty mouth.

He trails me out through the gym, and I feel the stares of a woman looking his way as he follows behind me. I bet everywhere he goes, especially without a shirt, everyone stares.

Why must he be so damn good looking?

Life isn’t fair, he has to have something bad about him.

He has shown me a side I wasn’t sure about, and I have yet to still question him about it. A part of me is afraid to bring it up. What if he didn’t know who she was? I’m thinking he does, though, the way he acted when he turned on that light. Walking out the door, I know he’s following me to my old beat-up car, and as I reach it his voice stops me.

“Ask me, Milanka…” His tone is serious.

When I turn to face him, his shirt is wiping his forehead and he’s watching me, standing so close that I have no room to breathe apart from breathing him in.

“Why did you take me there?” I have to ask the question because I need to know the truth.

He wipes at his forehead before he answers me. “You love sex just as much as me. I own that place, and I wanted you to experience it… enjoy it,” he says, taking a step closer to me. He’s now completely in my personal space, and I can’t seem to do anything but stare up at him.

“You knew who she was… behind that last window, didn’t you?”

He doesn’t blink as he stares at me and answers, “No, who was it? I did, however, notice your reaction to them.”

I’m not sure whether to believe him or not. Should I start to? I need to start trusting more people, instead of closing myself off to the world. I want people to miss me if I go, and right now not a single soul would know I was missing if I was abducted again, and Derrick knows this and takes advantage of it.

“Okay.” I step away from him and open my car door avoiding his question, I don’t want to answer it. The car door creaks loudly when I pull it open. Throwing my bag in through the door, I stand with my hand on the ceiling while looking at him again. He’s still standing in the same spot watching me.

“Will you go back with me?” That sex slash restaurant that I never want to step inside again.

Shaking my head, I look to the ground before I look up to him and answer, “I’ll come to yours, instead.”

He nods his head and smirks at me. “I’ll see you then, Milanka,” he says as he walks off, leaving me by my car, watching as he leaves.

What did I just agree to?

The possibility of being hurt worse than before, I’m guessing.