The ride to the store Is quiet. The second the words were out of my mouth something came over me.

Peace.

I had half expected Buck to lose his shit but he didn’t. He had stared at me for a couple seconds before grabbing my hand and leading me to his truck. He hasn’t said one word.

Pulling up to the store I glance over at him. He stares out the windshield. Unbuckling my seat belt, I quietly say, “I’ll be right back.”

Nothing…

Climbing out of the truck I walk into the store. The cool air blows my hair back. Walking down the aisle I find what I’m looking for and my hands shake as I look at each one. There are so many. Boxes of various shade of pink and white take up an entire shelf. All of them offering to give me the answer that could change my life. Grabbing one I quickly check out and go back to the truck.

With my purchase in my hands, I hold it like it’s glass…no, like it’s the future.

Mine and Kodah’s future.

Still not saying a word, Buck backs out and heads back to the club.

Waiting for the gate to open, my legs bounce with nerves.

Not stopping in the lot, Buck follows around the side heading straight for my dad’s.

Pulling up to the house I expect him to just drop me off, so I’m surprised when he reaches over me and stops me from opening the door. Confused I watch him get out and rush to my side. His face blank and not speaking, he helps me down and my heart swells.

“I’m back, Bailey!” I shout as Buck shuts the door behind us but there’s no answer. Maybe she fell asleep.

Walking into the kitchen, Buck sits on the stool and places his elbows on the table. Not able to wait, I rush into the hall bathroom.

Opening the box, I follow the instructions. With my heart pounding in my throat I place the stick down on the sink and lean against the counter. Looking at my reflection, a smile runs along my face and my green eyes practically glow, but along with the happiness of the possibility comes the what ifs.

What if I am? What if I’m not? What if Kodah isn’t ready? What if I’m not ready? What if something bad were to happen?

My stomach drops at the thoughts and I have to force them away. I can’t think like that.

I peel my eyes from my reflection and take a deep breath. No matter what, it will be okay. No matter what, I’m not alone.

I’m shaking so bad I have to hold it with both hands as I read the results. Tears instantly spring to my eyes as I look down at it.

Eleven years ago my life was taken away from me, and I never thought I would make it out alive. I thought my chance at living was gone.

Five years ago I was given a second chance at life, but I wasn’t really living. I was hiding, scared of what it really meant to live.

One month ago I opened more than my eyes for the first time since everything was ripped away from me. I remembered and I forgave. I found truth and I found love.

I have overcome things that statistics and odds always said I wouldn’t. I never gave up.

This… This twenty dollar stick holds the reward for all I have endured; it holds the miracle that comes from the ashes. The light to the dark. The reason to always hold strong.

It holds life… I’m pregnant.

* * *

In a daze, I hold the life changer close to my chest and walk out of the bathroom. Not seeing Buck in the kitchen anymore, I go upstairs.

Standing in my old room Buck holds a picture of me when I was five at a dance recital. Taking a quick glance around I don’t see Bailey, maybe JB took her to the club.

Hearing me come in, he faces me and places the picture back down on the dresser and takes a step toward me.

“Are you?” he asks, speaking for the first time.

Unable to hold back the happy tears, I smile and show him the test.

Looking down at the positive test in my hands, Buck looks back to me and smiles the biggest smile I have ever seen.

“I don’t ever think I’ve seen you smile that big,” I choke out on a laugh.

“Emmy, I’m so fucking-”

The sound of a gun cocking back halts whatever he was going to say and he freezes. Looking over my shoulder with narrowed eyes, my stomach dips when they widen in shock.

I can’t move. Feeling the barrel of the gun against the back of my head, I just stare at Buck as fear stronger than I have ever felt before shoots through me.

“Put your fucking hands up,” a familiar voice orders and everything in me goes on alert.

It’s not possible.

Obeying his order the pregnancy test slips from my hand and both Buck and I lift our hands.

Hearing the sound of metal, cuffs get placed on my hand. “Turn around so she can put them on,” the voice demands and Buck’s jaw clenches but he doesn’t move.

Gripping my hair, he yanks me back and shoves the gun into my cheek.

“Alright!” Buck bellows and turns around with his arms behind his back.

“Put them on him, princess,” he whispers in my ear and he lets go of my hair.

Tears that just a moment ago were full of happiness now flow down my face in terror. This isn’t happening… how could this be happening?

Clasping the cuffs on Buck, he murmurs his approval and Buck turns around.

Movement from under the bed draws my attention and I see Bailey with her hand over her mouth as she watches everything play out.

Shaking my head, I do everything to tell her to stay, to not move but I don’t think she sees me.

With the gun still aimed at my head, I’m spun around and forced to face the man I never thought I’d see again. A man not even my nightmares could dream up.

Oh, my God. This is going to be so bad.

“What do you think, princess? You miss me?”

* * *

Crying into my hands, I watch as everything plays out.

The moment I heard the footsteps earlier creeping up the stairs, I knew…I just knew I needed to hide.

On instinct, I had thrown myself under the bed and I had watched as the man in all black walked into the room and walked out. I had heard him wandering the halls. And when I heard Emmy call my name, I wanted to warn her, I wanted to yell for her to run.

But I couldn’t do anything but hide.

I couldn’t save my best friend.

“How?” Emmy asks on a whisper as she backs into Buck’s chest, his arms fastened behind his back.

“Now now, princess. You know better than to speak out of turn,” he chastises and I cry harder.

No….

“Here’s what’s going to happen. I got an opening behind the houses. You both are going to go with no trouble and we are going for a ride.”

“No,” Buck growls and I have to squeeze my eyes shut.

Silence pounds in my ears before I hear a thud followed by a desperate cry from Buck. “Okay!” he shouts.

Opening my eyes, I take a chance and peek from under the bed. Lying limp in the man’s arms is Emmy.

Oh, God no…

“This is what happens when you betray me,” the man says to Buck as he walks past him, all of them disappearing down the hall.

My vision dots as I breath into my hands, listening as they go. The sound of the door closing is felt all the way to my soul.

I need to get help but I can’t move.

Crying under the bed, I beg for my body to move, to run for help, but the fear keeps me rooted in place. The memories keep me from making a noise.

I just let him take them. Crying hard I rock back and forth trying to sooth the demon in me. I have to get help.

PLEASE! I beg my body to move.

‘Breathe’ – JB’s voice echoes in my head and I listen, doing my best to even out my breaths. Closing my eyes, I search for his voice.

‘Go’ – Throwing my eyes open I scurry from under the bed.

I have to get help.