Chapter Thirteen
Chad
The meeting at the pre-school went like a dream. They offered Hazel a place on the spot. There was a bit of an awkward moment when they asked about her brother. I told them the truth that Joshua was my nephew and I was using unorthodox methods just to get him in the pre-school. It didn’t go against me, and the principal laughed and said, “Believe me, you wouldn’t be the first. Let alone the last. I could tell you some stories about some of the things parents do to get their kids in this pre-school.”
Ivy and I exchanged a little grin. A secret one that only we knew about, and it gave me the comfort of hope. Something that I didn’t even think was possible until now. I didn’t want to come; I thought that after she had been ignoring me for weeks, I had completely blown it and the idea of us being together was nothing but a distant dream. Dan said t I should give Ivy time and at that moment that’s all I had. But then I got busy with my little project which has now grown into a big one. I had little time, but it didn’t mean that I didn’t stop thinking about Ivy.
“Do you want a latte?” I asked as she sat down at a table in Starbucks. She agreed to have a coffee with me, and I ended up suggesting the one coffee store that I hated like the plague.
She nodded, “You haven’t forgotten?”
I sighed, thinking that we had only been together for three months, but to me it felt like a fucking lifetime considering I’d never been in a relationship before Ivy and Hazel came into my life.
“No,” I said under my breath as I smiled at Hazel. The realization that I didn’t just miss Ivy but Hazel, too hit home the moment I saw her smiling up at me in the car.
I went to the cashier and ordered a muffin for all of us, and I wanted a sandwich, too. It was getting to lunch time and I hadn’t eaten all day. I’d skipped breakfast because I was so nervous about meeting Ivy today. I thought that she would scream at me and tell me that she didn’t want to see me again. The same thing that she’d done when I called and she picked up the phone. She did it again when I turned up at her house. She had pushed me away and it allowed me to focus on more important things. Such as Joshua moving away and the idea that I wouldn’t be looking after him nearly every day. That cut like a knife. I could see that Brent wanted to make it work and the reality that I wasn’t Joshua’s dad became my reality. I thought about re-decorating his room. Making it the study that it was before I came up with this whole charade.
I grabbed the drinks and muffin and headed to her table. She smiled up at me. It wasn’t a smile that said that she’d forgiven me. But it was a start.
“Thanks. I didn’t eat this morning,” she beamed as she took the muffin and Hazel was sitting up in her high-chair stretching out for the muffin. I knew not only did Hazel have an obsession with chocolate, but Ivy did, too.
“I didn’t know whether to. I know that you used to say that chocolate is the devil in disguise.”
She stopped eating and said, “You remember that?”
I nodded as I left the table and she put down the muffin as I went to the rest of the coffees. I needed one to keep me up. I was exhausted, I’d hardly slept the last couple of weeks.
“Chad, do you have an interview?” she asked as I sat back down.
I laughed, “No. I just wanted to make an impression today. So, I went out and bought a suit.”
“You’re kidding?”
I shook my head, “Nope.”
Then we were back to the awkward silence, but then Hazel broke it as she kept repeating the words, “Choco,” as she continued to dig into her muffin.
“Well, I know where she gets that from,” Ivy smiled as her eyes darted from Hazel to mine. I couldn’t help but stare at Ivy. The hunger that I felt as I came in surpassed as I looked at her. The face that I used to see most mornings was still the same, but there was a sadness about her. I didn’t know if I was the cause of it, or if something else was going on in her life. I hated the idea that I had made her feel sad, then again there was nothing good that would come out of what I did. Like an idiot, I thought that I would tell her the truth and the one time that I did decide to do it, she had found out before I’d even had a chance to explain myself.
“I cooked dinner for you that night. I thought that you would be so impressed by my culinary skills that you would forgive me,” I shrugged before I picked up my coffee.
“So, you wanted to tell me?”
I nodded, “I did, but then I never got the chance to do it. Olivia and mom got there before I did.”
She sighed, “Maybe I should have given you a chance to explain back then, but I was hurting so badly that I couldn’t see the woods for the trees. I hated my job. Being back in town and everything. You came along, and things just seemed to fit nicely. But the moment I found out I went back to hating my job and being back in town.”
We both laughed as she’d gone from one extreme to the other and back to where she started and I knew exactly how she felt.
“When Olivia told me that Joshua was leaving and that she was giving Brent another try, I hated myself so much. It was as if I’d allowed myself to do nothing with my life and everything and everyone were in control of my happiness. I was like a surfer constantly waiting on a killer wave to catch the wave of a lifetime. Once I did that, I was back to ground zero.”
“Selling the app got to you, didn’t it?”
I shrugged, “Not really. It was an app. I had no real connection with it. I’d set out to do what I wanted with it. But technology is completely different. When it went life, I never felt the excitement the same way that I did when Joshua started to crawl or when Hazel was attempting to take her first step. Now, that had me on a fucking high.”
I sat back and then Hazel’s vocabulary changed from choco to “Fuk!”
Shit!
I need to keep my potty mouth under control, especially because Hazel’s older now. Ivy laughed as she said it and I covered my mouth as I started passing some of my muffin to Hazel hoping that she would go back to saying choco, which is exactly what she did.
“Phew!”
“What are we going to do with you Chad?”
I raised an eyebrow and stretched out my hand, “Give me another chance?”
She sighed, “But if we do go down that road then maybe we need to take it a lot slower this time.”
“Maybe?”
She took my hand and said, “Chad, just don’t lie to me again. I think that you did it because you wanted us to be together, but it wasn’t the best way to do it.”
I sighed, “I know. I learned my lesson, and I wouldn’t do anything to lose you again. Especially when I have a solution that will help both of us in the long run.”
“Oh?”
I nodded, “But as you said, one step at a time.”
“Yes. One step at a time,” she repeated, but I didn’t know if she was doing it for my benefit or her own. I leaned across the table and sealed her lips with my own. I had to kiss those lips. I missed them so much and every part of her. She was willing to give me another chance, something that I didn’t think was possible, but I knew one thing for sure. I wouldn’t fuck up again; I didn’t want to lose the two women that were special in my life. I wouldn’t be repeating that mistake ever again.