Epilogue
Ivy
Our lives had completely changed in more ways than one. It seemed that as careful as I thought I was with the pill, I’d missed out a few days. I wasn’t just pregnant, but I was unemployed, too.
Smith & Jones managed to find more than one contract that I’d been working on, and they were full of mistakes. I could say that it was planned and that there was a conspiracy theory about my dismissal, but it was clear that I spent most of the time daydreaming than I’d done working. I hated my job from the moment I started it, and I didn’t think outside the box.
It was as if I’d decided that being a mother meant that I had to give up my aspirations and my dreams. That everything I believed in had to be pushed to the side. But it was all in my mind. Chad had made me realize that as he talked about his new project and I didn’t hesitate in joining him on it. It was as if our relationship took a completely new turn as I learned that I was pregnant and we were no longer to take it slow.
Slow meant having a couple of picnics and meeting in Starbucks for lunch twice in one week. Kylie told me that it didn’t exist when you met the one, and she knew it from the moment that she admitted how she felt about Noah. Also, she was happy that someone had allowed Chad to grow up. She felt that the guys treated him like a kid. One that they never wanted to upset, but I’d allowed him to grow, and that was admirable. We’ve become close. Something that I didn’t think was possible after Chad had told me on more than one occasion that she hated him.
“Everyone’s coming,” Chad said as he ran up and down the stairs about twenty times. He was nervous. Nervous about the opening day. I couldn’t believe that he had gone from not knowing what he wanted to do with his life to a year of getting planning permission and trying to open a school. Not just any ordinary school, but the plan was to make it from a nursery to a pre-school to a high school in time.
Those were the plans for the project, and I was happy to be a part of it. After all, I was knocked up and unemployed. I didn’t approach it gently at first, I dived into it. Especially the legal aspects of it and Chad even suggested that I open up my own practice. Something that I’d toyed with doing in the past, but I didn’t anymore because I was exactly where I wanted to be. I never thought that I would be the type of woman that would settle with just being at home with the kids. Partying and winning cases used to be my life. Now it was being invited to mother groups and talking about babies and the rest of the time, when I’m with Kylie and her friends, men. And I fucking love it. I never thought that it was possible, but being at home isn’t so bad after all. It just turned out to be a different challenge.
“Mommy’s wet herself!” Hazel shouted out and then I thought about it. As I managed to stand up from the wooden chair that I was sitting on, I was lost in my thoughts and smiling at my achievements and my new life that I didn’t think about my water breaking. I had another three weeks and five days to go before my delivery date, but yet this baby wanted to come out now.
“Now?” Chad asked as he ran down the stairs. He was running so fast that I was sure he was going to come down flying on top of me.
I shrugged, “Now.”
In my confusion, my eyes darted towards Chad, mom, Hazel, and Noah. No one moved, they were all looking at me with their mouths open.
I shouted at them to get them out of their trance, “We need to get to the hospital now!”
Chad started muttering, “But the baby’s not due.”
I nodded my head, and mom said, “The due date is just a guideline. Come on peeps; we need to get her to the hospital.”
When did mom use cool words like that?
The contractions started and I couldn’t think about their confusion any longer. Only mom seemed to be the one that was walking with me. The rest were just staring, and Chad was just pacing up and down chanting, “But the baby’s not due yet!
I squeezed Mom’s hand as the contractions started to get faster and faster. Maybe that was why I felt the need to go to the bathroom around three times when we got here. I kept going and sitting on the toilet and wondering why I didn’t seem to pee. But I was an emotional wreck after last week when we did go to the hospital, and I was convinced that I was in labor. The doctor said I had something called Braxton Hicks. False labor. So, this time I didn’t think that it was happening again. That was when Hazel just wet herself as she was coming down the stairs. I could see it dripping from her desk.
“Hazel, did you just wet yourself?”
She nodded, “Mommy did it!”
God! Now, my two year old who is going through the worst troublesome two’s that I’d ever heard of has now decided that she didn’t need to go to the bathroom. I could correct her. Explain what was happening, but I was in pain, and with Chad being completely useless I knew that I had to get out of here, with or without him. And judging by the trail of events it was going to be without him.
I didn’t know if Chad was in the car, nor did I care as I started to scream uncontrollably as the contractions started to get worse. We were supposed to be at the nursery and pre-school to make sure that everything was in place for the grand opening tomorrow. I felt guilty at the idea that someone had to go back and clean up not only my water breaking but Hazel peeing in the school, too. Great!
I was thinking crazy things, I was about to have a baby, and I had cleaning on my mind. I remember reading about it was good to focus on something else, apart from giving birth which is great in text, but in reality, it was a fucking nightmare.
I squeezed mom’s hand so damn tight as Noah was telling me to take deep breaths and if Hazel wasn’t in the car I would have told him to shut the fuck up.
I knew all about the pair of them and their parenting and birthing plan when they had Natalia, their little daughter. I even said that I would do the same thing when I found out that I was pregnant, but fuck all that shit. I needed drugs.
God! Why is Hazel in the car?
After living with Chad and listening to his potty mouth all the time, I could have caught the potty mouth disease, and the only words that are on my mind are curse words all the fucking time.
As Noah parked up and said, “Good girl Ivy, you didn’t lose your cool. You kept up…”
I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Shut the fuck up. And park the car!”
He went quiet and followed my instructions as the door opened and I couldn’t remember how to walk or anything. My eyes darted to Hazel who just sat in fright. I think that if she did want to pee herself again, she would have second thoughts about it.
Good!
All of a sudden I felt the need to have Chad by my side. I had visions of him still being at the school pacing up and down and repeating that the baby was early. As the contraction tore through my body; a tear escaped my eye until I felt a hand and it wasn’t Noah or even mom’s. It was Chad.
I smiled at him even as I was trying to grit my teeth at the same time as a contraction tore through me. I cupped his face, “You came?”
He nodded as I moved to the wheelchair and he carted me into the hospital. And I felt as if we were moving so fast, but then it could have been slow, but I was feeling light-headed. I remembered not eating this morning, and I never timed how long we were at the school, but we had been there a little while. I’d been feeling all sorts of emotions this morning, and now I knew the real reason behind it.
“I wouldn’t think of being anywhere else!”
Chad shouted as he pushed me through the hospital. It was as if seeing him made the contractions less painful or something. I was no longer cussing in my mind or even out loud. Mom took the chart to fill in our medical details while Noah was by our side and he was talking to the doctor and giving him a rundown on my contractions. I hated the way that I spoke to him earlier and wanted to tell him sorry. I turned into a mad woman in the space of minutes. The next few minutes didn’t feel so easy. If anything I started to go in and out of consciousness. I could hear different voices. And I felt movement. As if someone was taking off my dress. One minute I would open my eyes, and it would be mom by my side and the next time it would be Chad. People were coming in and out, but I felt weak. Nothing made sense anymore.
Then Chad said, “Ivy, baby. You okay to do this?”
I could hear someone ask if I’d eaten today and Chad admitted no. I whispered, “No.”
Not sure if I could go ahead with this or not, I felt so weak as I remembered not wanting to eat last night, too. There was something that had clenched my hunger lately, but I thought that I wasn’t eating the right things and I just had so much gas. Kylie said that it happened sometimes, so I’d been resting. Not eating. Whenever I was awake, I just felt stressed like right now.
“Ivy, I’m Dr. Chun. If you like we can give you a C-Section if you’re too weak to do this. The baby’s starting to get distressed, and we can’t hold on any longer,” Dr. Chun said as he came closer to me and flashed a light in my eyes probably to see if I was conscious. I was awake, but just barely.
I erased all negative thoughts from my mind and shouted as if I’d gained a surge of energy from somewhere. I wanted to ask where Hazel was. I needed to apologize to Noah, and that allowed me to focus on doing this myself. I didn't want to be cut open. I had it in my mind to have a natural birth, and that was exactly what I intended to do today.
“I’m ready!”
“Good. Let’s do this,” Dr. Chun said, and I could feel Chad’s hand enveloping mine, so I gripped it so fucking tightly.
I didn’t hesitate in squeezing his hand every single time Dr. Chun said, “Push!”
I squeezed it so tight and ignored him screaming like a baby as I pushed with all my might.
Then Dr. Chun would tell me to hold back and then I would push again. God, I’d done this all before. Less than three years ago, but this felt different as if I’d never been through the experience before because if I remembered it being so fucking painful, I would have tied my tubes up. Why did women keep going back for this sort of pain?
Chad was the one that was screaming like a baby!
So, I squeezed his fucking hand even harder the next time Dr. Chun said to push. Every time he yelled it, not only was I pushing harder, but I was gripping Chad’s hand tighter.
“Baby, you can do it,” he squealed. I bet he would think twice about having more kids. I bet after this experience he would be the one to get the snip. That was if he had a hand left after I finished with it.
“The head, that’s the hardest part. I just need you to finish the job. Push as if your life depends on it!” Dr. Chun screamed out, and then I did exactly what he told me to do. I pushed so fucking hard that I felt as if I screamed the whole delivery room back to life. That was when everyone in the room started to laugh. It was the end of the delivery. The only person that wasn’t laughing was Chad as he screamed out after I let go of his hand, “My fucking hand!”
I turned to see him shaking it, and it was bright red. I realized that maybe I went a little over the top, squeezing his hand.
Dr. Chun beamed, “Congratulations! You have a baby girl.”
Doctor Chun repeated, “Sorry Ivy, it’s not over. I just need one little push from you.”
I nodded, remembering about the after birth and Kylie told me that it was nothing compared to getting the head out. So, I shouldn’t worry about it and as I pushed. I felt the contents spill from my pussy and realized that she was right. It wasn’t as painful.
I couldn’t believe that I was the mother of two girls. Chad was still shaking his hand and trying to breathe life into it. Doctor Chun appeared by his side and said, “Here let me look at it.”
Great, I was the one that just had the fucking baby, and he was the one that wanted attention. Until Doctor Chun said, “You better not piss her off. I think that she fractured your hand.”
Shit!
I tried to smile as the guilt of having hurt him so badly entered my mind.
I smiled awkwardly, “Sorry Chad.”
He shook his head trying to keep a straight face.
“It’s nothing compared to what you just went through.”
The nurse came over to me and gave me our baby. I love Hazel with all my heart, but this time it felt different. Just having a dad that wanted to be a part of it. Someone who wanted to know their daughter. Chad had even started the process of officially adopting Hazel. Danny was more than happy to do it. He said that it meant that he didn’t have to pay child support. How bad is that? That was all her birth father could think about while signing her over.
Things were going to be different now. I had a family and friends. Something that I thought that I had back in Chicago, but I never did. Since I’ve been here, only Chloe’s come to visit me. The guys at the law firm don’t even keep in touch.
“Ivy, I know what I want us to name her,” Chad said as Dr. Chun wrapped up his hand with a bandage and said that he would take him for an X-ray afterward.
Chad had been going through so many boy names. After convincing himself that I had one daughter that there was no way that it would happen again. I wasn’t sure why he thought that, but I let him ride with it. He was excited about being a dad, and for some crazy reason, I thought that maybe having a Chad Junior may have made him feel that way.
“What?” I blurted out as my eyes darted from him to our perfect little girl.
“Hope. Because that was where we first met. Hope school and maybe starting her name with an H, too, would make it known that Hazel and Hope are both my daughters. I don’t want her to feel any different about Hope being born.”
I smiled at him, “She already calls you dad.”
He nodded, “I know, but maybe, later on, she’ll feel differently. Besides, Danny could change his mind and come back into our lives.”
I didn’t think that was a possibility; the man had shown no interest until now. I doubted that he would turn around and want to have a father of the year award. I smiled at Chad and said, “You’re a pretty amazing man.”
He nodded, “So, I’ve been told. So, Hope it is?”
I agreed, “Hope. What a beautiful name.”
And then I planted a kiss on her head, and Chad did the same as Dr. Chun carted him off to see his hand. I hoped that his hand was bruised and not fractured as I sat down and thought about my new life not only being good but fucking brilliant. I couldn’t ask for more. I wouldn’t have to because I finally had everything I needed in my home town.
###The End###