Lyla was nervous.
Thinking about it now, her question to Sadie had been stupid because they’d been in one of the top execs offices, anyone could’ve gotten her into the studio. But it was access she needed. Access to Trick.
Sadie was with her as she walked into the studio through a hidden door. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Sadie whispered to her.
“Don’t have a lot of choice,” Lyla said, trying her best to ignore her trembling hands.
Sadie grabbed a runner. “Spread word in the audience that the stunner about to walk on set is Lyla Strickland,” Sadie said, presuming that people wouldn’t recognize her without her baggy clothes, glasses, and tight chignon. “Keep it quiet from Trick.”
The runner nodded and ran off; Sadie put an arm around her. “It’s no big deal,” Lyla said. “I’ve slept with Trick before.”
“But not on film,” Sadie said. “Not like this.”
Her new friend’s expression was full of contrition. But Lyla couldn’t think too much about it, she had to be confident. Yes, confidence and determination, that’s what would get her through… and if she just focused on Trick…
“We’ll cut there and setup for the next game…” Someone called from the front of the fixed bleachers that she was standing in the shadow of now.
“Ok,” Lyla said and smiled at Sadie. “Sex with my husband. Piece of cake.”
Whirling around, she kept her spine straight and her shoulders back as she strode around to the front of the audience. As she moved through the space between the bleachers and the edge of the set, a cheer went up, a big one, one she wasn’t expecting.
Widening her smile, Lyla waved to the audience and then turned to the set. There were two desks of contestants on either side of the quiz host’s desk. Trick’s chair had been turned away, but when he heard the cheer, he turned and followed the audience’s focus.
To say he was surprised to see her was an understatement, but he smiled and left his seat, digging his phone into his back pocket as he rose. He must have been checking for her overdue message, but it didn’t matter, she was here now.
He jumped down from the raised platform his desk was on and ran across the floor to meet her halfway. “Babe,” he said, brushing his fingers across her cheek. “What’s wrong?”
Taking his hand, she smiled at the panel members who tried to say hello and offered them a wave. She pulled Trick around to the back of the set, away from everyone. Going to a door at the rear of the huge studio, she dragged him through it. This was a backstage area, one that would be deliberately deserted. Except for those who were planted there.
Taking him down the half-dozen metal stairs, Lyla said nothing just moved a dark curtain aside to go into another part of the space. She’d been directed to go to the square area with its door on the far wall, a door which had a glass panel in it…
Dropping the curtain, she pushed him to the wall and swallowed her nerves while trying to keep her smile in place. If he thought she was nervous, he wouldn’t want to do this. Locking her eyes onto his, Lyla read his confusion, but pushed on. Confidence. Determination. Yes, that was it, just keep looking at Trick.
“Kiss me, Trick,” she whispered, pulling his shirt from the front of his jeans.
“What?” he asked, but sank his hand into her hair to take hold of her neck. “Here?”
Biting her lip, she tried to keep on smiling and nodded as she slid his belt from its buckle. Dipping down, he kissed her.
Yes, sinking into the pleasure of his mouth, Lyla let herself ride the wave. If she could get aroused, like she usually did when he kissed her, then she could forget that they were being spied on. Surely, she could.
“Dressing room,” he murmured against her and took her hand.
But she put her hands to his chest and pushed him back against the wall when he tried to move away. “No,” she said, unbuttoning his jeans to slide her hand into his underwear. “Here.”
“Here?” he asked and something crossed his gaze.
Oh no.
He was suspicious.
But he couldn’t guess, surely, he couldn’t guess what was going on. Lyla would never ask him to expose himself or to do anything intimate without telling him they were on film. But he’d said there were no boundaries, that she could do anything with him that she wanted to… did that include this?
Reaching around to unzip her dress, she pulled it only part way down, so that when she guided her arms out of the wide straps and drew the top part of the dress down, her skirt stayed on her hips.
Trick grinned and tossed his head back in a laugh as he wound his arms around her. “Ok, I get it,” he said and kissed her forehead before he grabbed her upper arms and spun her around to thrust her against the wall. Pushing himself closer, he laid a forearm on the wall above her head as he drew her face up with a finger. Instead of kissing her, he kept his lips a whisper away from hers. “The guys put you up to this… It’s a bet, right? A dare?” He kissed her quickly. “You don’t have to do it, baby. Of all the things I thought they’d ask you to do… Ok… this is up there as one of their better ideas…” His next kiss was longer, harder, more relaxed, but his assumption made her feel worse. He thought this was a game for his friends when this couldn’t be further from a fun game. His voice dropped to a growl. “That said, if you want me to do you hard and fast right here, baby, you just hop on up and my cock will do the job.”
Some of the heat in his gaze chilled when their eyes next met, could he tell from the way her heart was racing that something was wrong? Bunyan had told her not to tell him, Bunyan had said it would be smart not to, but she couldn’t lie to him, she’d promised not to.
Picking up his loose hand, she pressed it to her throat. His hands were so big, so talented, so amazing that she didn’t ever want to take them away from her. But letting her eyes wander up to his, she slid his hand down her front to her breast and he was happy to take a handful of her.
Lyla covered his hand and moved his thumb under hers, guiding it to graze the tiny portable microphone that Paul had positioned on the edge of the lace cup while telling her that its range would still pick up their voices even if she took the bra off.
As soon as she saw the moment of clarity in Trick’s eyes, she squashed herself back and slid down the wall. She wouldn’t ask him to perform for her, or for them, but she could perform herself. Keeping her bent knees together between his legs, Lyla put her hand into his jeans and opened her mouth.
But before she could take him out, Trick stepped back and grabbed her arms again to haul her up. With fierce anger in his eyes, he grabbed the neck of her dress and stuffed her arms back in the sleeves.
“Where?” he grumbled and she turned her attention to the door.
He spun around and began to stalk toward it. “Trick!” she called out and hurried to follow him, but he was already throwing the door open. Paul, Bunyan, and Sadie were all there with the camera crew, who were falling back on themselves to get out of the path of this raging bull.
“You?” Trick shouted at Sadie. “What the hell, Say!”
“I didn’t know,” Sadie said.
“You let her go through with this? You let her do it?”
Darting around her man, Lyla put herself between him and everyone else because she didn’t know where this mood would end up. The last thing Lyla wanted was for Trick to get himself into trouble.
“They didn’t give her a choice,” Sadie said. “Trust me, this was the best of a bad bunch of options.”
When Trick’s attention flew to Bunyan, Lyla felt the heat of his fury. “Trick!” she said and reached for his face, but he threw her hand away. “Please, baby, it’s fine!”
“You have a contractual obligation,” Bunyan said and although Lyla heard a lot of bluster, she heard fear as well. “You have to fulfill your duties to this station!”
“My duty is to my wife and hers is to me. Did you tell her to lie to me? Did you?” Trick shouted so loud, that Lyla’s ears started to ring. When Bunyan didn’t answer, Trick tried to take a step forward, but she pressed into him with everything she had. Lyla didn’t stop him from moving, but she hoped to slow him down enough to give the others a head start. “Don’t you ever speak to my wife without me, ever! Any of you bastards go anywhere near her without me and I’ll take every one of you apart, understand?”
“Trick,” Sadie said. “Don’t threaten them.”
Lyla liked to think Sadie was worried about Bunyan being litigious, but it didn’t seem that her husband thought that. “Don’t talk to me, Say. Screw you. Seriously? She trusted you! I trusted you! A drink? Did you plan to take her out or was it all a setup?”
“No!” Sadie called. “We were out, with the guys, we got called in. We thought something was wrong with you! We came here and… They wanted her to sign a follow-up contract!”
Like he knew what that meant without further explanation, Trick’s attention fell to her, but he didn’t look any less angry. Lyla nodded. “They wanted to use stand-ins to recreate our first night together. I couldn’t let them do that, Trick. What if they… What if they made it dirty or sordid? What if they made you out to be something… depraved or inferior?”
The studio could get him into a lot of trouble. They already had footage of him touching her and her arguing with him, telling him to keep his hands to himself. If they chose to make it look like he’d forced her into sex then he could find himself in hot water. It might be great television and create extensive publicity, but it would ruin him.
“They threatened you,” he murmured and his anger flared with renewed energy when he raised his attention and his voice at the men behind her. “You threatened my wife?”
“Oh, give us a break,” Bunyan spat out, not seeming to get that it wasn’t smart for him to adopt an attitude right now. “Your wife? This is all bullshit! It’s a setup! A goddamn show! And you do this right, you’ll be a star! Don’t be a moron! Everything we’re doing will benefit you and your career! You, Strickland!”
Someone touched her back, and Lyla glanced back to see Sadie was zipping up her dress. Trick kept his focus on the men who were somewhere in the background. It seemed only right if someone was worried about her modesty that she should be worried about Trick’s. So, with an exhale, Lyla began to button his jeans and when he draped an arm around the back of her neck, she hoped it was a sign he might forgive her.
“You ever wonder why we’re protective of this?” Trick said to Bunyan.
The anger was still in her husband’s eyes, but his voice was calmer.
“You’re protective of her because you’re an idiot,” Bunyan said. Lyla planted her hands on Trick’s abs before he could lunge, but he did growl. “You’ve got some hard-on for the vulnerable nerd thing she’s got going on, but look at her! She’s got this! She’s a babe who won’t remember your name in six months. I promise you! You think you know what this show will do for you? Think about what it will do for her! She’s going to be famous! Probably more than you! She trapped the playboy Nairn Strickland! Got him panting like a puppy! Him and half the nation! You dumb bastard. Fine! You want to run this? Run it. But don’t think for a second she’s not playing you! You think she’s not a thousand times smarter than you? You think she hasn’t played it through to the end?” Bunyan scoffed in disgust. “You’re an idiot, Strickland.”
“Take Lyla home,” he said, his sneer fixed over their heads. “I’ve got a show to shoot.”
Turning away, he stormed through the door that would take him into the studio. Sadie sighed and put an arm around her. “He’ll be fine when he calms down.” Sadie turned Lyla around and began to lead her away.
“Sadie,” Lyla said, feeling the shudders that came after the adrenaline wore off. “I don’t want to be famous.”
“I know, honey,” Sadie said, stroking her back.
They got another ten paces before Lyla stopped and turned around to look back the way she’d come. “You need to go back there and make sure Trick doesn’t hurt himself.”
“He wouldn’t—”
“He’s angry,” Lyla said, her attention darting to the producer. “If he shouts at someone, or… hits them… Please, he won’t keep it together if he doesn’t vent, let him vent at you.”
“What about you?” Sadie asked. “He’ll never forgive me for leaving you alone.”
Lyla smiled. “I’ll get in a cab. I’m only going home. I won’t talk to anyone, I promise.”
Sadie nodded and gave her a hug. “Don’t let Bunyan get you down. You and Trick have something special. Something real.”
Lyla nodded, hoping that Sadie was right. “Please, hurry.”
Sadie gave her hand another squeeze before turning to hurry back toward the studio where Trick would be.
When Lyla was alone, she fell back against the wall and covered her face with her hands.
What she’d said to Trick in his dressing room today had already affected him, probably enough that Bunyan’s words would be worming their way into his mind. Lyla knew her husband. She knew that Trick played the character because he’d been taught over and over that his true self wasn’t good enough.
He didn’t believe he deserved her and if he got it into his head that she needed to be free of him, he’d do something stupid.
If that something stupid involved another woman…
Lyla squeezed her hands around her throat. She wouldn’t be able to stop herself, she’d hate him, she’d never be able to forgive any infidelity. If Trick was hers, he had to be hers, only hers.
But she didn’t believe he’d ever cheat on her, not ever. He hadn’t been able to cheat on her on their wedding night and he could have. He wasn’t what the media made him out to be. He was decent, kind, and oh so caring. Trick was hers. Only hers.
They weren’t strangers anymore. They were lovers… and that was where all the problems had started.
Shoving off the wall, she knew what she had to do.
Bunyan wouldn’t like it.
Paul wouldn’t either.
But she was only interested in doing what was best for her man… while he still was her man.
When Lyla heard the hammering on her apartment door, she knew there could only be one person on the other side of it.
Sliding the chain from its runner, she pushed her hair from her eyes and opened the door. Still half-asleep, she didn’t expect the door to fly toward her or for Trick to come barreling inside.
“A note on the fridge, Malloy, really?” he yelled, storming into her living room.
Lyla had come back to her own apartment as much to get her own head straight as to put physical distance between her and her husband. She had no clue what time it was now, but it had to be seriously late. Filming would’ve run into the wee hours and Trick would’ve had to get home before he would’ve known she wasn’t there.
“I didn’t want you to worry,” she said, clearing her throat and finger-combing her hair from her temples.
“Then you should’ve been in my bed when I got home,” he said, whirling around to glare at her. “You think that stunt tonight was bad? This is a thousand times worse. Did they put you up to this? Huh? They tell you to leave me to piss me off and create drama? Is this all part of the plan to make me look like a maniac?”
She knew it! She’d known that Bunyan’s words would’ve wormed their way into his psyche. Considering her husband for a second, Lyla didn’t want to think about the cameras on the wall that would be capturing this fraught moment.
Going to the front door, she opened it and pointed outside. “I don’t think so, Malloy,” he said. “You are not kicking me out, no way!”
“We need blueberries,” she said, focusing her own scowl on him.
There was no way their code was going to fly under the radar now, but what choice did she have? The hallway was the only place that wasn’t monitored by the studio, as a public space it was too difficult to get permission to film out there twenty-four-seven.
Trick lunged over to grab the throw from the back of her couch and although she didn’t get why he wanted it, she didn’t argue, because he did march over the room to pass her to enter the hallway.
Lyla made sure the door wouldn’t lock behind her and then went out, closing the door behind them to limit what the audio recording may pick up. Trick threw the blanket around her shoulders and tightened it around her chest. Was he worried about her modesty? She was wearing her nightdress that covered her all the way to her ankles.
But folding her arms around the throw, she kept it on and leaned away when he bowed toward her and she caught the smell of alcohol on his breath. “Have you been drinking?” she asked, pushing on his chest as he crowded her closer to the wall. “Geez, Trick—”
“I came home to find out my wife left me,” he said, punching the door frame above her head, he gritted his teeth. “Ly! You left me!”
“Trick, calm down,” she said, keeping the throw hooked around her hands, she rested them on the inside of his elbows. Sober Trick was hard enough to reason with when he was mad; intoxicated Trick would be even less reasonable. “Please, we don’t want to make a scene, if we wake up the neighbors and they get this on their camera phones, we’ll end up on the internet and—”
“Isn’t that what you want?” he asked. “You want to be famous, baby?” Crouching, he buried his face in her hair and kissed her neck. “If we do some real nasty things on film, you’ll get your payday.”
Smacking his chest, Lyla shoved him with all her strength. “Don’t you speak to me that way, Nairn. I don’t want to be famous and you know that! Don’t let that… that…”
“Bastard?” he asked, clutching the side of her neck. “I know how to loosen that tongue, baby. We’ve never done it in your bed; let’s christen it tonight.”
“No,” she said, torn between being upset and annoyed that this more vicious version of himself had shown up. “There are cameras in there, did you forget?”
“That’s what you wanted,” he said, holding her hips to angle their bodies together. “You wanted to get filthy on film and I’m here. I’m saying, let’s do it.”
“No! Stop this. Stop being like this. What is wrong with you?”
He hissed a breath through his teeth as he swung down to get in her face. “I love you and I’m not enough for you. You know what that does to a guy? You know what it was like walking into that apartment and finding you gone?”
Lyla reached for his face with a slow hand, but he ducked away and stormed a few paces down the corridor. “I don’t want to be famous and you know better than to believe Bunyan or anything he says. If you believed I was like that, you wouldn’t be in love with me… My problem isn’t with you, it’s with… everything else. I was so confused in Bunyan’s office without you. I didn’t know what to do and he told me… he said I should seduce you, that I should let them film it without telling you. Do you know what that felt like?”
“You did tell me,” he muttered. “You did what you were supposed to.”
Lyla was glad that she’d been honest with him. Despite the way things turned out, she would rather deal with this than exploit Trick in the way so many other people had. “I don’t like seeing you upset. I don’t like causing that upset.”
Spinning around, he held open an arm. “Then come back to me,” he said. “I told you the only way to hurt me was to leave me… Come back to me, Malloy, and we’ll be just fine.”
“Come back to what?” she asked. “Do you want to share a bed with me when there’s a lens recording everything we do? Every time you touch me in front of that camera, it cheapens this, it makes me wonder if…”
“If it’s all fake,” he said and his arm fell.
Just like she’d said in his dressing room. Lyla was new to this celebrity thing and new to being monitored and deconstructed. She didn’t know how to deal with intimidating executives or contracts and sexual setups.
Her love for Trick felt so real and solid when they were just them. But when the camera turned on and they had to become their characters, she felt like they lost a bit of what made their bond so strong. Maybe she just needed time to get used to it. If she had her confidence, and knew how to tell Bunyan to leave her alone, then maybe she could be what Trick needed.
But Lyla didn’t want to ever be in Bunyan’s office in that same position again. She didn’t want to be standing in Trick’s arms wondering if he was suspicious of her motives, and she didn’t want to ever be suspicious of his.
And that fight. She didn’t want to be the reason Trick was mad or the cause of him being sued or hurting someone. Sending Sadie after him was supposed to offer him a relief valve, but he was here tonight, just as keyed up as he had been earlier.
“I didn’t ever think in a million years that I would actually fall in love with you,” she said, recalling what she’d thought during the panel when Sadie had seemed so sure that Lyla would sleep with Trick.
Lyla hadn’t believed it was possible, yet here she was, standing in her hallway with tears streaking her cheeks, looking at the man she loved who didn’t appear to be angry anymore.
A kind of resigned dejection settled over him. He exhaled and dug his hands into his pockets. “Go back inside, it’s cold out here.”
“Nairn,” she whispered, but when she tried to reach for him, he took a step backwards.
“I told you if I didn’t satisfy you that you had to cut me off. I told you not to hesitate… You promised never to lie to me, Malloy, and all you’re doing is being honest, right? I can’t tell you to do that then flip at you for it.” His tight smile wasn’t convincing. “You’re a good girl and you know yourself. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough, baby… I’ll leave you alone.”
Trick walked away down the corridor and she opened her mouth to call him back, but no sound came out. She couldn’t call him back. What would she say? She wasn’t going to invite him in to her apartment, and she wasn’t going back to his place with him either.
Conversations in the hallway weren’t secure and fighting would be guaranteed to bring the neighbors out of their apartments. Even after he was gone, she stayed put. Numbness had taken her over and she felt that cold he’d referred to.
She’d left him. Had she really left him?
Lyla loved him; she hadn’t meant him to think anything else. He knew that, didn’t he? But until she could be comfortable with their relationship being in front of the lens, she couldn’t be what he needed her to be and couldn’t share the marital bed with him.
Why was it she could be so confident in front of the Boys Night lens and so uncomfortable filming Opposites?
Because one was spontaneous and fun. The other was contrived and contorted.
Being on Boys Night was her choice and they’d captured a genuine moment between new lovers. Opposites was artificial. It was cut and reset over and over until the producers got exactly the shot they wanted.
Lyla didn’t want to recreate her first night with Trick. Didn’t want to be told when or how to seduce him. All she wanted was to be a woman in love with her man and as long as Alan Bunyan was in charge of that show, he was in charge of their relationship too and that was one element of control she just wasn’t willing to relinquish.