Sixteen
Sager
The months tick by and I still don’t have her all to myself.
He goes out of town, and she spends all those nights in my bed. During the days that he is around, she comes to the gym, and I fuck her there in my office.
This morning, I had a wakeup call that I wish I had every damn morning. She snuck into my bed first thing after he left on a flight to Chicago and I spent all morning relishing in the fact that I had her.
It’s been five months since the mixer and having only a part of her is slowly killing me. Seven months of being her dirty little secret and I want so badly to get her all to myself, but she still hasn’t left that tool Alec.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks, rolling over to lie on top of me.
“That you are the most beautiful thing ever.” She still hates when I compliment her, but I still do it every damn day.
“Well, I was thinking about something else…” Cameo gives me a shy smile and I roll to my back, and then pull away so I can look into her eyes.
“And what is that? You finally going to be mine?” She frowns and shakes her head no. We stopped talking about him because it always starts a fight between us and whenever I bring it up, she goes silent on me.
“Tell me, Cam.” I sigh when she stops talking just like every other time.
“It’s not important.”
“Cam, don’t.”
“Don’t what, Sager? Don’t shut down because you want me to leave my fiancé? Don’t act like this doesn’t kill me just like it does you? I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I want you, Cameo! I want you all to myself because I’m tired of sharing you with a bastard who doesn’t give two shits about you.” I shake my head because she’ll never understand. “I’m falling in love with you.”
Her eyes widen, and her mouth drops open.
“Take it back, Sager. Please don’t say those words.”
“Even if I said I take them back, they are still fucking true. I am falling in love with you whether you want me to or not. I told you you’d only break my heart.”
Cameo doesn’t say anything else as she gets out of my bed and pulls on one of my shirts and her pair of jeans. I watch as she moves around my room, collecting her things all because I said I was falling in love with her.
“You told me you fell out of love with him. Why do you continue to go home to him? Why can’t you just be with me?”
“Because Sager. I promised myself to him. I keep my promises.” She doesn’t turn around to look at me.
“And the promise to me doesn’t mean shit? All because I wasn’t the one to put a ring on your finger?”
I move to sit on the edge of the bed, and I stare at her back. Her shoulders sag, and she hangs her head.
“Cameo, I’m not going to apologize.” I put my head in my hands and try like hell not to say something to piss her off so badly that she’ll walk out forever.
Cameo doesn’t say anything, and I know she won’t. She’ll run just like she always does when I push her for more.
She’s afraid that if she jumps, I won’t catch her.
All I’ve ever be is a dirty little secret for her, something for her to play with when he’s not around.
I watch her walk out of my room without a second glance. “Cameo.” She pauses right outside my bedroom door, never turning to actually look at me. I’m going to break her heart and mine in the process. “I’m done. You can go between us, and I haven’t once slept with another woman. If I’m not the only one for you, then I won’t show the same courtesy.”
She finally turns to look at me, and I see her tear filled eyes. “I can’t force you to be faithful when I’m not.”
“You can be if you wanted. But don’t worry, I get it. You want to marry that bastard that has money. The one that can continue to provide that life you live while you just fuck the help.” She stomps over to me, and she slaps me. My head snaps to the side, and when I look up at her, her emotions are written all over her face.
“You’re a bastard, Sager. You know I don’t think of you that way.”
“Then how the fuck do you see me?” I yell at her.
When she doesn’t give me an answer, I walk away. Being second best to him is getting old.
I walk past her in just a pair of boxer briefs I grabbed off the floor. She doesn’t try to stop me, and I guess I don’t really expect any less.
“Sager,” she calls when I ignore her as I brush past her.
It always ends like this with us. Shit starts going good and then I want more. I beg her to give me more, and she refuses. Refuses to leave him.
“Sager!”
“What, Cameo?” I stop in the hallway and turn to face her. “What do you want from me?” It always comes back to this fucking question.
“It’s not that easy.”
“Spare me the bullshit, I’m tired of hearing it.” Her hands reach out to touch me, and the moment she does, it feels like I’m being burned. I just want her, all of her. It isn’t that hard, yet I feel like I’m fighting a war. A war I’ll never win.
“You are the only thing I want, Cam. I would give you the world if you asked for it. I may not have the kind of money he does, but I’ll love you forever. I’d take care of you, our kids, and any other fucking thing you wanted. I’d give it all to you if you let me.”
More tears fall down her face, and I ache to pull her into my arms.
I’ve never had a woman have me this messed up before, and I hate what it’s doing to me. I don’t want anyone other than her. I want to bury myself so far into her skin that she can never get rid of me, but it will never be me.
“You shouldn’t want those things with me. I’m a liar, a cheater. Nothing can ever be right between us. Once a cheater, always a cheater, right?”
I can’t help but laugh at her for that. “Cameo, that isn’t you. You cheated on him, yeah, but that doesn’t mean you’ll cheat on me. Not if you loved me the way I love you.”
“Sager, stop saying the L word.”
“No, Cam. I want you to know how I feel about you. I’m tired of skirting around my feelings for you.”
“I can’t do this.” She shakes her head and turns to head out the front door.
I watch her walk away for the hundredth time and even though I know it should piss me off, it just tells me that I don’t have her the way I want her. She’ll come back to me after she cools off and just like the idiot I am, I’ll be sitting here waiting.
---
Six hours later, I’m sitting at the bar with Jenner, Ryker, and G. All of us have had far too much to drink, and Mandy is our lucky sober driver. I promised her that I would give her an extra few nights off to spend with her man and she jumped at the chance.
Grabbing the beer that was placed in front of me, I scan the room for the eighth time, knowing that she would never be caught dead in a place like this. When I don’t see her again, I turn and find a pretty little brunette standing there staring at me.
Her eyes travel up and down me before she licks her lips. I groan and look to Jenner who has a smirk on his face. “You really gonna cheat on a woman who isn’t yours?” I punch him in the shoulder and move off my bar stool.
“Fuck you, Jenner. You don’t know shit about Cam and I.” I sway slightly, and he reaches out to hold me up.
“I know that you’ll hate yourself in the morning because you are in love with her.”
“Yeah, I’ve never seen you like this, Sager. She must have that magical pussy,” G says with a grin.
“She doesn’t have shit. She walked out when I told her I was falling in love with her.”
Ryker winces, and I roll my eyes. “Fuck it. I’m done letting her play me like a fucking idiot. If she wants me, she needs to fucking kiss that asshole goodbye.”
As I start to move from my chair toward the brunette, I hear Jenner call out my name. I turn my head just in time to see Cameo walking into the bar.
“Good fucking thing he didn’t have his tongue down the brunette’s throat yet.” G laughs.
When Cameo reaches me, she grabs my shirt and pulls me in for a scorching hot kiss that has my drunk brain all sorts of fucked. Her heels have her closer to my height and fuck, I just want to take her into the bathroom to bend her over and fuck her.
“Cam,” I whisper when she releases her hold on me.
“I love you too.”
I close my eyes as the words she just said hit me. My hands grab the back of her head, and I kiss her again. I’ve been dying to fucking hear those words come from her mouth for far too long.
“Fuck babe, say it again,” I murmur against her mouth.
“I love you, Sager.” I wrap my arms around her and hold her body against mine.
“The brunette looks like she wants to scratch Cam’s eyes out now.” Ryker laughs. I ignore his comment, but Cameo looks over at the brunette the guys are watching.
“Who is she?” Cameo asks me.
I shrug, and they all start to laugh their asses off.
“She was going to be his fun for the night until you showed up.” She looks between the guys before she looks at me.
“What? I told you earlier.”
She frowns at that but doesn’t say anything.
I may say that I’m going to fuck other women, but we all know that I won’t. I’m too hung up on Cameo to even get my dick up for anyone else, but I won’t tell her that. I rather have her think that she could lose me.
“What are you doing here?”
“I needed to tell you that I love you. I hate when we fight, and I regret walking out. I should have told you then, but I was scared. If I say it, then it’s real, and my life is already a huge mess.” Grabbing her hand, I drag her out of the bar with me.
As soon as the cold air hits my skin, I sober up a little.
“What’s wrong?” I ask when I walk her back into the wall of the bar.
She just shakes her head in answer.
“Cam, I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Just tell me.”
Cameo lets out a heavy sigh and finally tells me. “He’s moving us to New York.”
I feel like I got the wind knocked out of me. He’s moving her away.
He’s going to take the air I breathe right away from me, and there is not a damn thing I can do about it.