Chapter 18
“I have to go, Willow. I'm sorry,” Carter said softly, stealing a few last kisses from the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen.
“Mm, why?” Willow asked, rolling over in bed and staring up at him.
They'd spent the night together, only parting from each other to order food. The entire room smelled of nothing besides them and leftover pizza. He wanted to revel in it, wanted to stay in this comfortable space he'd been able to make with her.
He had a job, though.
“It's eight in the morning. I have to start my shift,” he explained gently. He kissed her more, despite the fact that she knew exactly why he had to leave. He'd already showered and changed, offered to bring her breakfast, but she'd refused. She wasn't much of a morning person, he was starting to realize.
It was cute.
All of her was cute.
“Mm, okay,” she said softly. Her voice was suddenly vulnerable. It hurt Carter to hear. He knew she was thinking about leaving. She'd made that much clear the day before. He tried to make it through the night without thinking about it, ignoring that it was happening, but in the cold light of morning, it felt real.
“Willow, I swear we'll talk about this later, you and me,” he said softly, kissing her forehead.
“Promise?”
“I promise,” he answered, squeezing her hand. “Now get some sleep. I'll catch you in a couple of hours,” he said gently. “Maybe I'll bring you some lunch on my break?” he offered.
“Sounds good,” she sighed, flopping down into her pillow.
“Good,” he answered, catching another good look at her.
She was gorgeous.
Even disheveled from a busy night, from a stressful couple of days, from changes in her entire world view, she still looked gorgeous and peaceful. Her dark hair was back over her pillow in a sheet, messy from sleep. Her soft skin looked almost ethereal in the soft, blue light coming in from the window. She was already settling back down into sleep, and he envied the ease that she seemed to do that. He'd hardly been able to sleep at all last night.
Getting up, he quietly left, closing the room door behind him.
He was starting to resent his job for taking her from him so often, even though it was how he met her.
He headed up to the control room to log in.
A giddiness laced with dread filled him.
He'd get her for another day, maybe two, before she could get a flight out. She wouldn't want to overpay for a flight just to get out sooner. She wasn't in danger as long as she stayed in the resort.
Grabbing a coffee and saying his byes to who he was replacing, he settled in for a boring shift.
Security work was always the same.
There are the drunks, the divas, the 'pranksters,' and then just regular people making mistakes. The pranksters were usually just asshole teenagers that were trying to make themselves feel bigger than West Valley let them. Hell, his last Alpha, Alex Wells, the little twenty-four year old, had once been one of those. They'd moved into town when Alex was nineteen and went around with a group of kids trying to spray paint everything.
He'd been almost proud of how far the kid had come by the time it was his turn to be Alpha.
Scared shitless, alone, petrified, but proud to step into his family's shoes.
Most Alpha families raise their children to know how important their role is in the pack. Hell, there's chance Alex wouldn't have ever been an Alpha if it weren't for his parents and siblings vanishing. If one of his older brothers had a kid and Alex had aged out by the time his brother was too old to lead anymore, the line would have gone straight to his brother's children.
That's how it was. That's how it always had been.
An Alpha without any familial line, without any knowing who or what they were, was a rarity he'd never heard of. She really was one of a kind. Carter flipped through the floor's cameras and kept an eye out for anything shady.
As usual: nothing.
He tried to angle one of the swivel cameras to look right at Willow's door, but it wouldn't.
It was strange to think that most of their relationship had unfolded in the resort.
They'd even run into each other there…he stopped his train of thought to laugh a little at the pun. More like, she'd run into him. He couldn't quite imagine why she was dodging and jogging around like that. Smiling to himself, Carter pulled up the camera feed for that Tuesday.
It was two days after Alex had vanished.
The hotel was mostly empty that morning, everyone slowly making their way in, not ready for the meeting. Bored, he fast forwarded to the evening. He spotted Willow immediately, but she looked different on camera. Without anyone looking, while she was just walking by herself, she looked bored out of her mind. Almost annoyed looking, she was walking to one of the bath rooms of the spas, her wet feet leaving marks on the carpet.
He fast forwarded again and was caught off guard as he watched Willow go from walking from the spa straight into a full sprint. She went from calm and bored to energetic and vibrant – everything he knew about her. She seemed to be going in a strange path, and it took him a moment to realize she was walking up the route he took to look through the resort.
They hadn't even met yet.
There she was, though, going through the hotel, almost skipping, while following the same route he took several times each shift to ensure that there was no trouble.
His stomach flipped, and he watched as she full-out ran into him. He wanted to shake past him, tell him everything that would happen within the next half-week. He couldn't imagine his reaction.
Would he change anything?
He wanted to say no, but to be honest, he would have redone so much. He didn't regret having or meeting Willow, but he did regret that it changed his view on what his path in life was. He knew he was supposed to protect the Alpha. He was supposed to ensure that the pack was always taken care of. He was to ensure so much for so many others. This was his job.
Yet she made him want to be selfish.
She made him want to think of himself for once in his life.
He wasn't sure how to tell her this, or even if he should, but he knew that he wanted to. He wanted to tell her about how much she changed him.
He rewound the recording, watching her run through resort, and it struck him that she reminded him of a wolf on the hunt. Like she was looking for something.
Looking for him.
He had to set down his coffee and close out of that recording, not wanting those thoughts to take root. He didn't believe in Fated Mates. He'd humored the thoughts before, it was true. It would be nice if it were that simple, if she were really his Fated Mate and this was all meant to happen, but if that was the case, would there be so much trouble thrown in?
Was there any reason to make it so hard?
Was he making it harder?
He knew how he felt about her.
He loved her.
Loved her.
With that in mind, he was still almost accepting the idea of her leaving without her knowing. What if she felt the same? What if they were actually mated?
He wished for that so hard that his heart ached.
He wanted her to feel the same.
The risk of her not feeling the same, though, was devastating.
He not only risked his position in the pack, he risked even getting to stay as a part of the pack. They'd blame him for her fleeing. They'd say he chased off the rest as well. He'd have to leave the only home he'd ever known and start new no connections, no family, and be expected to live.
It was terrifying.
The camera angled toward her room came up on the feed and then went away again to be replaced by the next in the time loop.
It would be worth the risk, though, wouldn't it?
Not knowing, possibly missing out on his Fated Mate because of cowardice, wasn't that much worse than a life as a drifter? If he never knew how she felt, it would tear him up, and he'd never forgive himself.
He had to get it out there before she bought a plane ticket.
He had to be honest with her.
Carter finished the last of his coffee and tossed the cup in the trash, stretching and checking himself in the reflective glass of the door. He looked fine, the same as always. It felt terrible to think that he'd be telling her while he was on shift, but he needed to get it out.
Taking a deep breath, he headed down to her room.
Each step was heavier than the last, laced with questions of how he'd tell her. What if she was still asleep? Would he wake her to tell her? The options played through his mind like a bad game show, each another $500 answer that was actually a question.
He just wanted to get it off his chest.
Carter stopped outside her door, turned once to consider walking away, and then knocked softly.
“Willow?” he asked after a moment. There was no reply. “Willow?” he asked again, knocking a little harder. Still no movement, no answer. Checking the handle, he realized it was unlocked. He slid it open. He'd only been gone a couple hours.
She was gone.