Chapter 14
The star was on her back.
The star that marked her as a descendant of Lycaon, an Alpha.
He should have known.
Carter knew he smelled Alpha when he went to her room. Knew that smell like the back of his hand. Still, he'd pushed the idea aside, not letting it stick, because he didn't want to believe she was one. He wanted her to be his, and now she couldn't be. He'd been too greedy and ended up just endangering her.
He was an idiot, he was sure of it. He'd spent more time with Alphas than any other shifter had, and then one falls, almost literally, into his lap and he forgets everything he knows because she's beautiful.
Willow stared up at him, her confusion blatant on that beautiful face. The crowd began to murmur loudly, somewhere between questioning and celebrating. He didn't know what to tell them, didn't know what to tell her. All he knew was this was going to change everything for and with her. The pack had found a new Alpha, and she didn't even know she was a shifter until yesterday.
She wouldn't survive a week if he didn't talk to her, if he didn't protect her. Not that he had done a great job of that before. Carter grimaced at the thought, embarrassment and shame filled him at the idea. How was he going to protect this amazing woman when he couldn't protect anyone before? Not even his own brother had survived.
“What is it?” she asked, her bright green, tell-tale eyes full of worry.
How hadn't he seen it before?
She was a textbook descendant of Lycaon.
Fiery, curious, she even physically matched the look all of the Alphas had for thousands of years. Guilt wrecked his stomach at the thought. No wonder he'd been so attracted to her. It wasn't that she was his Fated Mate. It was that she was an Alpha, and his body knew to protect her before his mind even knew what she was.
Before she even knew what she was.
He needed to set aside any feelings he'd had for her now. As painful as it was, as much as he was sure it would hurt her as well, he couldn't risk his emotions endangering her. His only duty was to ensure her safety, nothing more.
“You're a marked descendant of Lycaon,” he murmured gently, helping her to her feet. Willow pulled the robe tighter around her. She still looked confused, and Carter realized he hadn't explained it in any way she could understand. The crowd behind her started cheering, shouting, and filling the forest with their excitement of finding a leader. They'd been starving for someone to fill the role, even though it had only just emptied. She was unique for other reasons, though – the first female leader this pack had seen in over sixty years.
“What?” she asked, her confusion still etched across her face.
“You're like the missing family,” he tried to explain. “You've got a mark that means you're part of the oldest line,” he added.
“I can't be. I'm only half,” she said, shaking her head.
“It's more than anyone else here. You're the only of your kind within a couple hundred miles,” Carter tried to make it clear to her.
“I can't lead. I don't know anything about being a shifter,” she said, horrified. Carter looked around to make sure nobody else heard her or saw her hesitation. The rest of the pack was too busy celebrating and cheering for the new Alpha. He took a deep breath and decided to try to be kind.
“I'm sorry,” Carter replied. It was all he could think of. There was no way to tell her that the pack hadn't tried any other options. No way to explain the depth of their need for her. Even just as a figurehead, Alphas were important. The Lycaon family, if available, was always the Alpha. In modern times, some packs had started allowing for members to vote on who should be Alpha outside of the family, but tradition still held strong for his pack.
His pack that was starving for someone to come along and stick.
For direction.
“This is too weird,” she said, shaking her head. He watched her look out to the expectant crowd, and then Willow turned and fled into the house.
He couldn't blame her.
“It's a lot to take in at once,” Carter said loudly to the crowd. “I'll talk to her and update all of you,” he added.
The crowd burst into talking again, everyone voicing an opinion and not listening to anyone else. Carter turned and headed into his home, locking the door behind him.
He had begun to think he might love her.
It had only been a couple days, but everything about her felt right.
She was an Alpha who bore the mark of Lycaon.
He couldn't have her or touch her, even if she wanted it. He began to regret ever kissing her, ever having sex with her. At least if he'd never touched her she could have left. Carter couldn't imagine what torment he'd be facing, having to be near her constantly and never touch her again.
***
Willow sat on the floor of the kitchen, her back against the cabinets and her head in her hands. She could still hear the din of voices out in the yard, a buzzing only her anxious mind could outdo.
What the hell?
She was just a writer!
A cruddy journalist who did dumb pieces on resorts and hotels most of her readers could never afford to go to. She wasn't supposed to ever have to take any actual lead or any actual responsibility. Even being an editor for the site wouldn't have prepared her for this.
There were a hundred people out there.
A hundred people who were looking for leadership, looking for…? For what? She wasn't entirely sure, but the idea of that many people depending on her was terrifying. At least as a writer she only had herself to disappoint if an article did poorly.
If she messed up now, it would alter the lives of so many people.
A wave of anxious nausea shook her, and Willow felt tears begin to fall from her eyes. She let them, her cheeks feeling hot and wet.
Why would anyone depend on her?
She'd spent her whole life looking for where she belonged, and now that she found it, she wasn't sure she wanted it anymore. She wasn't sure this even was where she belonged.
Willow hadn't even been class president, never worked as a manager or got to be an editor. How was she supposed to manage or guide this many people?
She felt the back of her neck where Carter had motioned to when he said she was marked.
Like the Wells family.
Just like them.
Panic struck anew, fresh, and for an entirely different reason.
The Wells family had slowly been picked off, vanishing one by one as they became Alphas and replaced the previous. How long until she vanished? How long until whatever took them came for her? Would anyone notice she was missing? Would there just be another posting on the local paper's site? Her mind was racing along with the panic, and she couldn't slow it down.
“Tourist writer vanishes while reviewing The Grand West. No known local relatives. Parents have offered a reward on any tips that lead to finding her,” it would read. She could already picture which image of her they'd choose. The one on her Facebook where she was sunburned and making an awful face at her friend who was taking the picture.
She sighed, slouching lower against the cabinet.
The back door opened and closed, and she stilled, listening carefully. Slowly, footsteps sounded through the home, creaking on the occasional floorboard.
Before she even saw him, she knew it was Carter.
Was it his smell? Could she smell him? She wasn't sure. He didn't wear strong cologne or body wash. Still, she instinctively knew it was him.
“Willow?” he asked, turning into the kitchen. He looked concerned and a little sad. She wanted to smooth out the worry from his face, to kiss him and tell him she's sorry but she has to leave.
Has to get out of there.
“I'm sorry I've sprung this all on you,” he said softly. “If I'd known, if I had any idea, I wouldn't have thrown you out there.” He looked like he meant it, and she believed him. “I would have talked to you first to find out what you wanted,” he added.
“I know,” Willow said softly. She didn't blame him. She couldn't bring herself to.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. Like her, he slid his back down the cabinet until he was sitting next to her on the ground.
“What am I supposed to do?” she asked, her resolve to leave disappearing the closer he drew to her. She craved him, needed him to just breath the same air as her. It was more than enough.
“That's for you to decide,” he replied. His voice was gentle and patient.
“I don't know the first thing about being a leader or even about being a shifter,” she said. Sighing, she leaned her head on his shoulder.
“Most Alphas learn on the job,” he said. He was tense under her touches. She could tell something had changed between them, even if he wasn't going to say it. “You have to make pack decisions, like which new members can be accepted, what to do if someone in the pack hurts one of us, what to do if another pack attacks,” he droned on, listing almost a dozen examples.
“And you get all of this?” she asked, watching him carefully. Carter's face lit up as he talked about the pack. She loved seeing him so interested and vivid. He truly cared about it.
“Yeah, I've been the right-hand man of the last few Alphas and had to give them the same talk,” he explained.
“So, you know everything an Alpha has to do. You understand how to do everything,” she continued on. “Why aren't you the Alpha?” The moment she asked him, he physically recoiled. Like the words were strong blasphemy, as though she'd invented the worst curse word and said it about his mother. He looked almost pained.
“I'm not from the bloodline,” he shook his head, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. “I don't have the right to claim the Alpha position. Even if there was nobody of the bloodline here, I wouldn't get the role,” he explained. “They'd think I was the reason the Alphas vanished, that I'd done it for the power,” he sighed.
“Oh, wow, sorry,” Willow replied, not having thought it through. She knew he couldn't have killed the other Alphas. He cared too much about the pack, and he was too good. Every slight movement of his was so good, so right, she couldn't picture him doing anything to hurt those he cared about.
“I'll help you all I can, though. You won't be alone in this,” he said, turning to her. He kissed her forehead, and Willow settled in against him.
“Promise?”
“I promise.”