Danil raised an eyebrow at Maxim as they both watched Anton slouch over Danil’s computer, sipping absently at a beer.
Emin came in through the front door, stomped snow off his boots and shucked off his coat. He stopped cold when he looked up.
“Is he whistling?” Emin asked his brothers in Belarusian as he stared incredulously at Anton’s back.
“Da,” Maxim answered, sipping his own beer as he reclined on Danil’s couch. “And using a computer.”
Emin lowered himself down next to Maxim and snagged a beer from the coffee table. He raised the same kind of eyebrow that Danil just had. They shrugged at one another.
“How’s Glory doing?” Danil asked. He was finding himself more and more curious about what it would be like for his wife to be pregnant. He often found himself daydreaming about Dora with a belly as pregnant as Glory’s. He would have to buy her a new bomber jacket to fit around her, he thought with a little smile.
“Ah, happy as always,” Emin said, leaning back on the couch and closing his eyes. “Her feet hurt her, but she doesn’t complain.”
“Ivy and I are-” Maxim started but was cut off by Anton speaking English and surprising them all.
“What is this word ‘fetish’?” he asked, looking up from whatever he was reading on the computer. “Oh, hello, Emin.” He hadn’t even realized his third brother had arrived.
“Uh, fietyš,” Danil translated the word ‘fetish’ into Belarusian for Anton. Danil raised his eyebrow even further, looking around at his other two brothers.
“Ah,” Anton said, ducking his head and starting to whistle as he scrolled through the article.
“Well, like I was saying,” Maxim continued. “Ivy and I are thinking about trying for number two. Linc’s been asking about a sib-”
“And this word ‘bondage’?” Anton interrupted again, looking at Danil for the translation.
“Zaliežnasć,” Danil translated, his mouth falling open. “Anton, what are you reading over there?”
“Nothing,” Anton waved his hand at his brothers. But they couldn’t help the sleazy smiles they all passed around.
“Whatever makes him whistle,” Emin said, tipping back his beer and closing his eyes again.
***
AJ was doing a little whistling herself as she let herself into her house after class the next day. There’d been a cold, February rain all day, she’d forgotten her laptop at home, and had been late to class. She didn’t care. This was still going down as one of the happiest days of her life.
She’d wanted to hug herself the entire day. Anton had fucked the shit out of her last night. And it had been everything she had ever wanted. Her life felt good. Complete. She, for the first time in her life, had true hope that they could actually be something real.
She flung her bag down and tossed her coat on the hook, paused when she heard someone else whistling in her house. She’d forgotten that Anton’s construction job was ending early today. She practically danced to her bedroom.
AJ stopped short in the doorway, her eyes goggling, when she saw him leaning over her desk, using her computer.
That was happening a lot today.
“You know how to use a computer?” she asked him incredulously.
He spun her desk chair to face her, laced his hands behind his head with a huge grin on his face. “I am bear, not caveman. I have been googling.”
“Oh?” she asked, thrilled and warmed and giddy over the smile on his face. She’d never seen him look so happy. Or so free.
“Da,” he reached for her and tugged her on his lap. “Danil kicks me off his computer because I ruin his cookies he says. I do not know what that means.” He scooted the chair in so that they could look at her laptop together. “But this is okay, because I use yours.”
AJ’s eyes widened when she saw the site that he was on. “Holy crap.”
“Da,” he agreed. “I learn very much today. All the ways you can rule me.”
AJ’s mouth was suddenly very dry. “You, uh, want me to do this to you?”
“Not all,” he answered quickly. “Not that. Or that.” He pointed to two pictures that made AJ’s eyes wide.
“Thank God,” she muttered.
“Da,” he agreed. “I show you this to say that it is possible. You and me. And sex.”
“Right. You mean that people do this kind of thing all the time. Slap each other in bed.”
“Right,” his eyes were very serious. “But I will never slap you. Ever. Or hurt you. Ever. But I need for you to hurt me sometimes.”
She turned to face him in his lap. “Look, Anton. Don’t get me wrong. I’m thrilled to do whatever you need. Seriously. It’s pretty much a dream come true for me. But, just, can I ask why? Why do you need this? Is it a kink? Or…” she trailed off, not knowing how to finish the sentence.
Anton closed his eyes for a pained second. She could see him warring with himself. She recognized the shame and sadness, she’d seen it from him for years.
“Anton, there’s nothing you could say that will turn me away. I-”
“Say that you marry me.”
“What?” AJ gasped, her vision going blurry and then hyperclear. This was different than when he’d brought it up last night, as a bargaining chip. This was him actually asking her.
“Say you will be my wife. No. Wait,” he tossed his head to one side. “It is not fair to ask before I tell you truth.”
“Anton-”
“Quiet. I tell you now.” His eyes were fierce, deep brown and burning. She could see fear there, true fear that she would turn from him.
Taking a deep breath, AJ turned so that she straddled him in the chair, facing him fully.
“Navuka did not only torture me,” his voice was quiet. “They experiment.”
She gripped his hands in hers; it was almost as painful to hear it as it was to say it.
“They turn me into monster. Real monster. There is so much anger when I shift to that beast. I cannot control it. I do not know what it will do if it comes out. It scares me.”
AJ fought to keep her face neutral, but on the inside she screamed with anger and pain for Anton. Those fucking bastards. They’d tried to destroy him. His words fell on her and slowly the puzzle pieces started clicking together in her mind.
“That’s why you were so upset when you didn’t remember biting me during sex. You thought it was the beast.”
“Da,” he nodded, his eyes so sad and sorrowful. “It lives in here,” he patted his chest. “And sometimes when I have passion for you, I fear it will come out of me. Shift me. Hurt you.”
“It was coming out last night, but it went away when I slapped you,” she realized.
“Da,” his eyes lit when he realized she was understanding. “You are the master of it. It will bow to you.”
“Wow.” AJ turned her head and caught sight of herself in the mirror that hung on the back of her door. Plain old AJ. Nice little face. Dirty blonde, blunt haircut. Curvy little body. But nothing that screamed ‘goddess’. And certainly nothing that screamed ‘sex goddess’. But. You know. Gift horse.
She looked back down at Anton who was staring up at her as if she held the keys to his entire future. He was so gorgeous with his gold skin, deep brown eyes, James Dean hair.
“I understand,” she said. “And, God, I’m so sorry they put you through that. But it doesn’t scare me.” And then, cocking her head to one side, she shrugged. “What you’re asking me to do, it doesn’t seem so hard.” She wiggled a little when she felt Anton’s cock harden underneath her. “Okay. You’re the expert, you have to teach me what to do.” She twisted in his lap to look back at the laptop screen.
He leaned his forehead against the back of her neck and let out a breath. It felt like he’d been holding that breath for ten years. She’d never know how much it meant to him that he’d told her his deepest secret and she’d shrugged her shoulders, asked how she could help. What had he done to deserve her?
AJ scrolled down the page, skimming the articles. “Did you pick a safe word yet? That seems like step one.”
He chuffed out a little laugh. “We don’t need safe word because you cannot truly injure me. Pain is different for bear shifters -wait. You know what safe word is?”
She turned and raised an eyebrow at him. “Yes, I know what a safe word is. I have a kindle, Anton.” She turned back to the screen. “And we need a safe word. I’m not going to beat you unless we have a safe word.”
He rolled his eyes where she couldn’t see. “Fine. Then word is ‘grizzly’.”
“No,” she shook her head. “It’s gotta be something we’d never say otherwise during sex.”
He raised his eyebrows and turned her by her chin. “When would you say ‘grizzly’ during sex?”
She gave him a look. “Anton, you are a grizzly bear. You don’t think that might come up? Some sort of ‘fuck me like a grizzly’ situation? ”
He experienced the brand new sensation of a full-on belly laugh at the same time as his cock hardened even further. God, he loved this woman. His gorgeous little super freak.
“Okay,” he chuckled. “Then safe word is ‘google’.”
“Perfect!” she grinned at him. “It seems like google is your new best friend today.”
“Da,” he said. “First I google and then I go to sex store.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You went to a sex store?”
“Da. I got you present.” He nodded toward her bed where a little wrapped box with a bow sat on her pillow.
AJ stood on jittery legs, both nervous to see what was in the box and also beyond giddy that Anton had gotten her a gift. He’d been bringing little things home lately, with his construction paycheck, but it was all mostly pregnancy related. This was, like, a real gift.
Unable to help herself, she fell on the bed, kicking her legs up behind her and tearing off the paper. She opened the box as Anton fell on the bed beside her.
“What is it?” she asked, holding up the metal contraption. It had two black rings on top of each other and two sharp prongs coming out from there. Anton took it from her and slipped it over one of her pointer fingers.
“It is called cat claw,” he said, pointing at the way the prongs came off her fingertip like claws. “I did not think you like to hit. But maybe you like to scratch?”
He cocked his handsome face to one side, very carefully watching her expression. She imagined scratching him, not now, but when he was heated and wild and looking the way he did last night. Something hot uncurled in her belly and AJ considered it a very good sign.
She stretched out her finger and traced a pattern on the back of his hand. “Maybe we should practice?”
His eyes heated as he rolled her over onto her back. He kissed and sucked at her neck, pulling her dress right over her head.
They rolled again and Anton landed on his feet on the side of the bed. He ripped his shirt off over his head, toed his pants and underwear off and stood in front of her, gloriously naked, full living color, broad daylight.
He raked her leggings, underwear, and bra right off of her. She was shocked at his speed. He usually took so much time to do anything, torturing and teasing them both. But she understood what was happening. He wasn’t scared of himself anymore. He trusted her to take care of him.
The thought had her rising up on the bed, grabbing for the back of his head and slamming their mouths together. His arms came around her back and smashed her to him.
“I’ll be your wife,” she gasped against his lips. Her voice breathy but strong. Confident.
Anton stilled against her mouth. He tangled a hand in her hair, dragged her face back so he could see it. “Da?”
“Da,” she agreed, grinning at him.
He smashed their mouths together again and drowned himself in her. He needed to be inside her in the next ten seconds.
She tore her mouth from his. “But only if you let me try something.”
“Anything,” his answer was immediate.
AJ slid down his body, making sure every inch of her touched every inch of him. And when her feet hit the ground, she didn’t stop sliding down. On her knees in front of him, her hair fell over one eye as she looked up.
“Autumn,” he warned, his voice extra growly.
But she didn’t listen. Instead she shoved him backwards, so he sat on the edge of the bed, and scooted herself in between his legs.
He dragged a hand over his face, looked like he was about to tell her no, when she lifted the cat’s claw to her lip like it was a long fingernail. She let her tongue flick out over it. Just a little reminder of who was in charge here.
He swallowed and planted his feet, spread his legs further. AJ took a deep breath and didn’t waste another second. Leaning forward, she licked him from root to tip and went over the head, swallowing him down as far as she could.
Instantly, his hand was in her hair, pulling her off of him.
“Tame me,” he choked. “Now.”
In her passion, AJ completely forgot about the cat’s claw and instead just slapped him across the face. His head whipped to the side and he groaned as she immediately took him to the back of her throat again.
“Christos,” he groaned while she swirled around the head with her tongue. She swallowed him down as deep as she could, came up for air, and did it again.
“Tame me,” he growled. And she almost grinned around him. She knew that she must really be working him up if he needed it again so soon. This time she remembered the cat’s claw and she lifted that hand to his chest. Trailed the prongs down his skin.
“More,” he growled, a trace of panic in his voice.
So she didn’t hold back, sucking and swirling on his cock as she dragged the claw over his chest.
He groaned at the twin sensations and thrust his cock further into her mouth, which she took to be a good sign.
But then he was dragging her up and onto his lap where he wasted no time in slamming her down on his cock.
“Yes!” AJ moaned as her toes curled. She gripped his shoulders and rocked her hips into him.
“Ow! Shit, baby,” he shouted as he jumped and looked back at his shoulder. She’d accidentally dug the cat’s claw into him there as well.
“Oh!” She blushed, taking it off and tossing it over her shoulder. “Sorry!”
“Meh,” he shrugged, grinning and taking her mouth in a kiss. “Whatever.”
Laughing and passionate, they fell back on the bed together.