Tendra

I woke to a furry head nudging me. Brex’s sandpaper tongue swiped at my nose, and I batted him away, only for him to start meowing.

“Athan, feed the cat,” I mumbled, rolling over to face the wall.

I expected to hear the deep rumble of Athan’s voice, but silence greeted my request. And Brex was once again in front of me, meowing his damn head off and pawing at my face.

“For fuck’s sake.” I sat up and rubbed my eyes, then looked around for my big vamp bodyguard. There was a small fire at the back of our cave, the flames low. I saw his form near it. “Athan,” I called.

When he didn’t move, an icy chill raced down my spine. I scrambled to my feet and raced over to him, ignoring the stones and debris digging into my skin. I slid to a halt beside him and collapsed onto my knees. I grabbed his shoulder and shook him. “Athan!”

His eyelids fluttered, and his nose twitched, but oh, God, he looked like death. His lips were nearly white, his cheeks sallow. I placed my ear to his chest, and choked out a sob as I heard a slow, barely there, thump of his heart. Just last night, that strong heartbeat had been my sole focus of comfort, and now it was so weak, I feared it’d stop any minute. Brex stood with his front paws on Athan’s thighs. He stared at me with round eyes, then back at Athan before he pawed at the vampire’s leg.

“Athan.” My voice cracked. “Please say something, oh, my God.” His phone lay near his motionless hand. I didn’t want to call his brother. I didn’t even care about making it anywhere at this point. I’d live in this cave forever with Athan and Brex. I just wanted him to be alive. I grabbed his shirt and shook him harder. “You told me you couldn’t be killed by silver! You promised!” I smacked him as the tears began to roll down my cheeks. “You lied to me!”

His lips moved, and I forced down my sobs to listen. “Not silver.” His voice was barely there, not the strong, deep one I knew and loved. “Weaken. Need fr-fresh b—” He licked his lips and his tongue was white. “B-b-blood.”

“You need blood?” I bared my neck and held it up to his mouth. “Then drink, damnit.”

“C-can’t,” he mumbled. “C-call Idris.”

“I’m not calling him.” I spoke through clenched teeth. “Fucking drink, Athan, please.”

He didn’t answer. I leaned back to look at him, and the slumped stillness of his body sent me into a panic. I leaned down again to listen to his heart and heard…nothing.

Nothing.

This couldn’t be happening. My only friend I had in this new life was dying in front of me while I had the means to save him coursing through my veins. Not today. This would not happen today.

I bent back his wrist, trying to inhale somnus, but there was nothing. I tapped at it, yelled at it, but there was no magical puff of anything.

Which meant…if he bit me, I’d turn.

This was a choice I didn’t think I’d have to make yet. Remain a human and watch Athan die, or let him bite me and be turned into a vampire. This was it, the moment where I had to make the choice that I wasn’t going back. I was never going back. Not if I allowed those fangs to slice into my veins.

But this was Athan—a vampire who had a better sense of humanity than most humans I knew.

“You picked the wrong human to fuck with, Quellen,” I said as I tugged on Athan’s head. I pulled back his lips to expose his fangs. “You assholes think you can weaken him, and then I’ll be vulnerable?” I leaned down and pressed his fangs against my skin. I took a deep breath. “No one makes me vulnerable unless I allow it.” With a strong grip on Athan’s head, I shoved his fangs into my neck, right over my vein.

The burn was like a brand, and I nearly blacked out from the pain. I braced a hand on the cold stone ground and I held on, blinking through the haze of white-hot agony. Athan still wasn’t moving, but the blood was flowing now, trickling down my neck. “Drink,” I pleaded. “Please just fucking drink, Athan. I can’t do this without you. I don’t want to do this without you.” The tears were rolling down my cheeks, huge drops that landed on Athan’s lifeless hands where they lay in his lap. I threaded my fingers through his, the skin slippery with my salty tears. He still wasn’t drinking. His lips weren’t moving. I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn’t be too late, I just couldn’t. “I love you.”

The first tug made my eyes fly open. A few seconds ticked by, which felt like hours, as I waited to feel that again, that steady draw on my vein. Then his cool lips closed around the bite mark, and this time, the suction was stronger, harder. His fingers twitched, and my heart nearly pounded out of my chest. His lips grew warmer as he continued to suck.

His chest hitched, and he inhaled, then he took another long drink of blood. The pain was receding, and in its place was a warm rush of pleasure from my neck down to my belly. Athan made a sound, like a groan, then his arms wrapped around me and he tugged me to his chest. My knees were on either side of his hips now as he continued to drink greedily, his hands clamped around my waist, keeping me in place.

I didn’t want to move, because fuck, Zeb had been right. This was…this was incredible. With every pull on my vein, he was releasing something into my body, which was driving me wild. My nipples were hard, and the ache I’d felt after our kiss was nothing compared to this. I could feel his hard cock between us, and my hips worked, seeking to get that hardness as close to me as possible.

His hands were moving now, under my shirt, and he pulled down my bra to cup my breasts. His fingers went right for my nipples, tugging and pulling, each touch filled with a protective possession.

“Oh, fuck,” I murmured, my vision going wonky as he took one last drag, then lapped at my neck with his tongue. When he pulled back to look at me, blood dripped from his mouth, and the whites of his eyes were bright red. Blood red.

“Tendra,” he said, and his voice was deeper, a vibration that tapped down my spine and settled in my gut. I wasn’t sure he was all there, because his pupils were blown, his mouth gaping open, teeth still stained with blood. My blood.

And as for me, I didn’t give a fuck about anything anymore but Athan. I wanted him, needed him. I pulled off my shirt and bra and tossed them to the side. Athan sucked in a breath and immediately lowered his head, clamping his lips around my left nipple. I gripped his hair, pulling hard, as he scraped the edge of a fang around the hardened tip. “More,” I groaned. “Please.”

I didn’t even feel the slice, but felt him begin to draw on me from the top of my breast. I swore I’d come right there, riding that hardness in his pants between too many layers of clothing. I tugged on his shirt, wanting it off, wanting to mark him the way he marked me.

He stopped sucking long enough to pull back, nostrils flaring, to rip off his shirt. I splayed my hands over his pecs, digging in with my nails, wishing I had fangs, too.

He shoved me onto the ground on my back, and his hand immediately went to my jeans, shucking them off my legs along with my underwear. “I dreamed of how you’d taste,” he said into my neck as his fingers went to work on my clit. “Every minute I was with you, I dreamed of it. Your skin, your mouth, your blood, your pussy.”

I arched my back as he plunged two fingers inside me.

“Your blood tastes even better than I dreamed,” he said. “And now I got one last thing to taste.” His fingers left me, and he raised them to his mouth, rubbing his fingers along his bottom lip, mixing my juices with my blood. Then his tongue came out, and as he drew it back into his mouth to taste me, he closed his eyes. When they flew back open, he grinned, his eyes glowing even redder. “Heaven.”

I gripped his hair. “Now that you’ve tasted me, how about you fuck me.” My voice turned into a moan. “I ache, so bad.”

Something flickered in his eyes, a hesitation, but then I tugged on his pants, slipping my hand inside enough to swipe the precum on the tip of his cock. I withdrew my hand and stuck my finger in my mouth. “You taste good, too.”

He growled, an honest to God growl, then shucked off his pants.

I knew, in that moment, despite the haze of feeding pleasure, that I’d never forget the sight of Athan naked, his shoulders straining as he held himself above me, his long, hard cock jutting out from a thatch of dark hair. Fuck, even his balls were pretty. He stroked his dick a couple of times. “Tendra,” he groaned.

“Fuck me,” I said, tugging him to me. “Now.”

Without another moment of hesitation, he plunged into me.

Holy fuck, he was huge. His cock had looked big, but inside, he felt goddamn huge. All I could do was hold on to his shoulders as he worked himself in and out of me, each time going deeper and deeper. Every single thrust was lighting me up inside, and there was nothing I could say or do but wrap my legs around his waist and hold on.

He kissed me, his tongue fucking in and out of me in time with his dick. He nipped me with his fangs on my neck, my breasts, my shoulders, each one sending me even more into a frenzy. My body was on fire, a jumbled mess of need. I couldn’t form words, only moans and cries, each one echoing around the small cave. Our joined bodies made one giant shadow on the wall, flickering with each lick of flame from the fire.

He pulled out and flipped me onto my stomach, then pulled me upright as he entered me from behind. With his arm across my chest, his big hand cupping a breast, and his teeth once again slicing into my neck, Athan fucked me while his other hand worked my clit.

I couldn’t speak—only moans and occasional sobs left my mouth. Athan pulled off my neck to whisper in my ear. “Being inside you is better than breathing. You make me feel like I could do anything.” I gripped his thigh, knowing I was close, each word he spoke another roll of thunder adding to the storm inside my body. “But Ten,” he said, his hips stuttering, his breath coming faster. “The only thing I wanna do is be with you.”

I came, and it was lightning and fireworks, a cacophony of explosions in every limb, in every fucking atom in my body. Athan gripped me tightly, his groan in my ear as he pulsed inside me, as he filled me in a way I’d never let a man before.

But this was Athan. And I loved him.

He gently lowered me to the ground, and it wasn’t until his cock slipped from my body and as I lay pillowed on his chest, that the enormity of what we’d done, and how that would affect our future, hit me.

Athan

The bloodlust haze was clearing, and I blinked my eyes open, taking a few moments to engage my brain. Tendra lay on my chest, her fist curled near her mouth. Her eyes were closed, her long lashes casting a shadow over her cheeks.

My mind raced over what happened since I sensed that first drop of blood in my mouth. When I went from dying to drinking Ten’s blood.

The Sanguivita’s blood.

And then fucking her.

Panic swamped me. Was she okay? Had I hurt her? I laid a hand on her back, her skin hot to the touch, and she lifted her head, gazing at me with clear eyes. She didn’t look angry, or upset, or scared. In fact, I had a hard time reading her expression.

Neither of us said anything, while the air all around us reeked of sex and blood. She sat up, straddling my waist, her large breasts swaying. There were tiny cuts all over her skin, red marks where I sucked and nipped. I’d never done that before with any human I’d fed from. Probably because that had been about feeding and sex. While my drinking from her had been a catalyst for us, I had wanted her from the start.

I ran my finger over the marks, barely able to believe they were real, that she was real. Her skin broke out in goosebumps beneath my hands, and when I glanced at her face, she wore a soft smile. I wanted her again; I wanted to taste her; I wanted to take her. I wanted to fuck and feed for days. I wanted to be hers, and I wanted her to be mine.

In the same thought, I cursed my biology, my blood, everything that made me crave her.

She looked ravaged, her hair in a dark mass around her face. Silently, she reached out and touched my lips, pulling them back to reveal my teeth. Her fingers touched my cheeks, pressing down on the flesh, before she opened my eyes wider. “H-how do you feel?”

That was a loaded question. “Can you narrow that down?”

“You looked like death, Athan,” she said, her smile dropping off quickly and her eyes filling. “I thought you died. So now I’m asking if you’re okay. I want reassurance you’re not going to die.”

I took a moment to collect my thoughts, and it took all my training to call on the right words. It hurt to look at her right now, knowing I’d never see her like this again, that those marks I made on her would fade, and it’d be another vampire marking her for the rest of her life. Marks I’d have to see on her pale skin. I was staring down a lifetime of misery watching the woman I loved be with someone else. I had to separate myself starting now, or there was no way I was going to survive this. I spoke evenly. “Thank you for what you did, even if it wasn’t the right decision,” I said. “I’m not going to die.”

I clamped my hands around her waist and moved her off me, then stood up, unable to face her bewilderment. I immediately missed the heat of her body, her skin beneath my hands, and the way she looked at me. Would she look at Idris like that one day?

Anger buzzed in my head like a swarm of bees, and I wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all, but I’d learned at a young age that life wasn’t fair. So I turned my back on Tendra and began to dress. The sooner I delivered her to Idris, the sooner I could begin to work on getting over her. Which was laughable. I was pretty sure I’d be in love with Tendra for the rest of my life.

The sound of her moving behind me echoed in the cave, then she stalked in front of me, standing naked with her hands on her hips. “I’m sorry, what? It wasn’t the right decision?”

“You should have called Idris—”

“Fuck Idris!” she shouted.

I sighed. “Tendra—”

“No, really. Fuck him. You wanted me to let you die and then just wait here for a vampire I’d never met to come save me? Are you fucking kidding me?”

I stared at her, unsure what to say. “My life isn’t worth even half of yours—”

She threw her hands in the air. “Fuck, this again—”

“—And who knows what me feeding from you did. You being a blood virgin was important to the prophecy.”

“I can’t believe you’re…blood-slut-shaming me,” she muttered.

I frowned. “I don’t know what that means.”

“Are you worried about Idris being angry?” she asked.

That was a no, seeing as he’d suggested I feed from her to stay alive. “No, I’m not.”

“Are you worried about the potency of my blood, or are you concerned with the fact that you had sex with your brother’s future wife?”

I closed my eyes and fisted my hair. “Fuck, Tendra.”

“Because I’m not sorry.” When I opened my eyes, her arms were crossed over her chest, pushing her breasts toward her neck. Fuck, she was gorgeous. “I’m not sorry. And I didn’t save you because I was scared of being alone, or because I was scared of Idris.” She swallowed and her eyes turned glassy. “I saved you because I couldn’t imagine my future without you in it. Because you’ve done nothing but care for me, and take care of me, and you didn’t deserve that kind of death. And I didn’t deserve a miserable future without you.” She wiped her eyes angrily. “So that’s how I feel—”

I reached out, grabbing her face with both hands and tugging her to me. I smashed our lips together, needing to taste her. I wanted to feel in her kiss that she was telling the truth, and I needed to show I felt that way, too. Even now she tasted like heaven, and I could have stayed like that for hours, sucking on her tongue.

When I pulled away, tears were cascading down her cheeks, and she was chewing her lip raw. I cupped her neck. “Tendra…”

With a thud, she dropped her head onto my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist. “Please don’t be cold to me. I know you’re probably scared, and I am, too, but please don’t punish me for saving you.”

I laid my hand on the back of her neck, my thumb over the spot I bit her, and dropped a kiss onto the top of her head. I was lying if I thought icing her out was going to benefit either of us—then we’d both be miserable. And what the hell was I thinking? There wasn’t a bit of my heart left to protect. I’d already given it to her. “I’m sorry. I was trying to protect myself, to pretend that this was merely about survival. That way it won’t hurt as bad when I have to hand you over to someone else.”

Her shoulders hitched. “What are we going to do?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. But this is bigger than us.”

She faced me with bloodshot eyes, and my heart cracked. “Why does it have to be like this?” she asked. “This isn’t fair. Can’t you be king instead of Idris?”

“He’s been groomed for it since he was a kid. My blood made me a warrior, and his makes him a king. He’s the oldest brother, and the only one who’ll be strengthened by your blood.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re not exactly sure what your blood will do to him. All we know is that he’ll be stronger and smarter.”

She didn’t look appeased. “But why can’t it be you?” Her voice broke on a sob.

“I’m sorry.” For the first time in my life that I could remember, my eyes felt hot, and what felt like tiny needles stabbed them. I didn’t know I was crying until Tendra reached up and brushed a tear off the corner of my lip, and I tasted the salty warmth. “Listen to me,” I said, my voice foreign as I pushed through the tears. “I’ll always be there, I told you that. And I mean it. I’m prepared for it to kill me every day to see you with Idris, but I’ll always be proud. Because I don’t know anyone, human or vampire, who’ll be a better Sanguivita than you. Who’ll guide Idris and the Gregorie clan to make the right decisions. Who’ll stick up for herself.”

She was sobbing now, her shoulders shaking, tears dripping off her chin. “As long as you’re there, I’ll be all those things.”

“I promise.”

She swiped at her eyes. “Duty and shit, right?”

I nodded. “Right.”

We took five minutes to hold each other, soaking in each other’s warmth and strength. I didn’t know what waited for us outside this refuge, but it was going to take everything I had to get her back home.

Finally, we separated and as Ten gathered our things and tended to Brex, I picked up my phone. I had half a dozen missed calls once I checked it. When I dialed, the phone didn’t even ring when I heard Idris’s voice, a little breathless. “Hello?”

“Idris.”

His exhale was so loud, I had to hold the phone away from my ear. “Fuck, Athan.” His voice caught on my name, and the sound of it did something to my heart. Growing up, sometimes I wondered if Idris even liked me. I chalked it up to our father, who was as cold as Idris. Hell, I was that cold. Around most people except for Ten.

There was a moment of silence, and the sound of something scraping across the receiver. Then he cleared his throat. “I thought the next call I received on this phone would be from the Sanguivita.” His voice was once again monotone Idris. As if now that he knew I was no longer in danger, he could shut the valve to dam up his feelings again.

“I fed from her.” No sense in delaying, I needed him to know.

Ten tugged on my arm. “Tell him it was me,” she whispered. “My idea!”

I ignored her. No way was I throwing her under the bus and blaming her. Idris still hadn’t spoken. “She offered, and I wouldn’t have made it without her.”

“So, she’s already saving members of the Gregorie clan,” Idris said. “The resources we’re using to retrieve her are worth it, then?”

When Idris spoke of Ten, it was cold, impassive. I wasn’t sure which I preferred, and how I’d deal with it if he ever spoke to her with affection. The way I wanted to be free to. Right now she sat near the fire, petting Brex. “Of course she’s worth it. But what resources other than me are we using?”

“We found the breach. A group of armed Valarians. Right now we’re assembling a team to take them out.”

“Is everyone okay there?”

“As of now, yes. But I don’t have a way to get a team to you quite yet.”

“I figured that. If I need you, I’ll call you.” I thought about how to word my next question. “Are you okay with my decision to feed?”

“I suggested it.” He sounded irritated. “Why wouldn’t I be okay with it?”

“The proph—”

“We’ll talk about that later,” he said. “Right now just get home. Alive. Both of you.” The click of the phone sounded in my ear. I pulled it away to look at it, then shook my head as I dropped it in my pocket.

Ten was looking at me expectantly. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. There’s been a breach at the compound, but they are dealing with it.”

She swallowed. “Okay.” She warily eyed the section of the cave where the port existed. I understood the feeling. As long as we were in this cave, I could forget what the future held for both of us.

Except I needed the reminder. I pulled on my coat, slipping my weapons into place, because I was going to have to go scout some Quellen. That was my job. Remember that, Athan. Remember.