Chapter Nine

Emily

“You sure this is a good idea, Em?” Jasper asks.

I look over at him. “Why wouldn't it be?”

He shrugs. “I don't know,” he replies. “I just – after what happened with Mariana...”

His voice trails off as I lay my hand on his arm and give it a gentle squeeze. I love that Jasper is so protective of me. He's always looking out for me. But, if I'm ever going to get my head back on straight again, I need to start coming out of my shell. And after that little mini-breakdown I had in Asher's office, it showed me that I still have a long way to go.

I don't want to be this girl anymore. I don't want to continue being scared of my own shadow. I don't want to be so timid. Or so passive. That's not who I am. Not who I've always been. It's who I became after what happened to me.

And I don't want to be that anymore. I want to be the girl I used to be again.

The only way to become her again though, is to start stepping outside of my comfort zone. To start reclaiming myself and my life. My shrink said the only way around is through. And for so long, I've been afraid of even starting that journey. But, I know I need to.

If I ever want to be the woman I want to be for me, and for Jasper, I need to start working on going around by going through. I said I need to make a change and it starts here.

“I'm okay, Jasper,” I say. “I promise. I had a moment back there. Moment's passed though.”

He looks at me, a skeptical expression on his face, and concern filling his beautiful eyes.

“I need to do this,” I say. “I need to do something. If I'm going to start taking my life back, I need to start actually doing it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, I am,” I say. “I mean, it's not going to be easy. But, I can't just sit around day after day hoping that I'll somehow magically turn back into the woman I was before – just – the woman I was before. I actually need to put in the work. That's what my therapist has been trying to tell me for a little while now. And I guess sitting there, after everything that happened today, and then having that stupid little freak-out over nothing – I guess it showed me I need to do something, if I want things to change.”

“You don't have to change for anybody,” he says.

“I do though,” I reply. “I need to change for me. I'm not happy being this shell of a woman. It's not me, Jasper. I need to change for me and I want to change for you.”

Need versus want. It's a small but important distinction to make. I can't change solely for Jasper. The need for change needs to come from within me. It needs to start with me.

“Okay,” Jasper replies. “You know I'll support you in whatever you do.”

I give him a smile and then lean over and give him a quick peck on the lips. “And I appreciate that,” I say. “More than you know.”

“Well, let's get in there and do the impossible,” he says. “Let's go convince Sheriff Richards that we're all on the same team.”

~ooo000ooo~

“You're kidding me, right?” Richards asks, his voice holding a hint of grim amusement.

“Actually, we're not, Sheriff,” I say.

“What could I possibly gain from working with you two?”

“How about winning the election and keeping your job?” Jasper says.

Richards looks at me, an inscrutable expression on his face. If I had to guess, I'd say he looked like he was – confused.

“You do realize you have a challenger in this election, don't you?” I ask.

“Of course, I do,” he says, his expression suddenly turning into one of annoyance. “What do you think I am, stupid?”

“Now that you mention it, Sheriff –”

“What he means,” I cut Jasper off before he can irritate Richards even more, “is that Brooks Green is out there stirring up the crowd. He's gaining a lot of support in a quick amount of time. Not only that, he's turning public sentiment against you. Have you heard one of his stump speeches, Sheriff?”

He waves me off. “Like I have time to listen to that old windbag.”

“Well, I have heard one,” I say. “And it would probably do you some good to know what he's saying.”

“You do want to remain the Sheriff of Black Salmon Falls, don't you, Sheriff?” Jasper asks.

He shoots Jasper a look that could have curdled milk. “What kind of stupid question is that? Of course, I do.”

“Well, then,” Jasper says. “It would probably behoove you to listen to what Emily has to say.”

Richards turns his eyes to me. “And? What do you have to say?”

“The first rule of any war is to know your enemy,” I say. “And right now, your enemy knows you better than you know him, and quite frankly, he's kicking your ass up one side of Main Street and down the other.”

Richards lets out a long breath and sits back in his seat. I watch a range of emotions passing across this face. Anger. Defiance. And finally, resignation.

“And what's this clown saying?” he finally asks, sounding slightly defeated.

“He's accusing you of covering up the recent murders. Past murders too,” I say. “He's telling anybody who'll listen that you're colluding with the shifter community. Looking the other way when they commit a crime. He's telling people that you're on their payroll.”

“That's a load of horsecrap,” he says. “Anybody who knows me knows I got no love for the bears around here.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Jasper mutters.

“Be that as it may, these recent murders have people scared, Sheriff,” I say. “And when people are scared, they will cling to anybody or anything that will give them their sense of security back.”

“Yeah?” Richards asks. “And how is it this blowhard is making them feel all safe and secure?”

“By telling them what they want to hear,” I say. “He's advocating murdering the entire shifter community.”

Richards looks aghast at the suggestion. His expression quickly changes though, to one of anger – which seems to be his default setting.

“I ain't got any love for the bears,” he says, “but murder in cold blood, human or shifter, is still murder.”

“Unfortunately, his message is resonating with some people,” I say.

“Apparently, a growing number of people,” Jasper adds.

Richards shakes his head in disbelief. “This ain't right,” he says. “I believe in the law. I believe in doing things by the book. This lynch mob mentality does nothing but harm.”

“Exactly,” I say. “And that should be your message to the people. That we can have justice and security.”

“For whatever it's worth,” Jasper adds, his voice quiet. “We may not like each other, and you may try to pin the most outlandish shit on us, but when the evidence contradicts your presupposed conclusions, you always play us fair. We may not agree on much, but that's something we can appreciate, Sheriff.”

Richards sighs and scrubs his face with his hands. He leans his head back and stares at the ceiling, a million thoughts undoubtedly running through his mind. After a long moment, he leans forward in his seat and clasps his hands on his desk in front of him.

“Why do you want to help me?” he asks.

“Isn't it obvious?” Jasper asks. “Better the devil you know than the devil you don't.”

“Not to mention the fact that unlike your opponent, you've never advocated for human violence against the shifter community,” I say. “Like Jasper said, you can be a jerk, but you play by the rules. And that counts for something.”

He shakes his head. “I can't believe it's come to this.”

“Believe it or not, it has,” I say. “So, you can either roll over and let Green have your chair –”

“Or you can man up and fight like hell,” Jasper adds.

Richards looks at Jasper for a long moment and then nods slowly. “Okay,” he says. “What do we need to do?”

“Don't sound so down about it,” Jasper says. “You might find you enjoy being on the winning team for a change.”

Richards shoots him that milk-curdling glare again. “Don't make me shoot you, boy.”