Chapter Fifteen
Ava
The sun was just coming up as I sat at my kitchen table and drank a cup of coffee. Macgrath was still asleep upstairs and we had a few hours before we had to be at Savannah’s. I’d called Savannah yesterday afternoon, hoping that Kerry would be with her. After I assured them both that I was fine after sleeping for a few hours, I told them we needed to meet and to plan the next step.
I was surprised how quickly and easily I’d fallen asleep last night. I thought that Macgrath’s presence would make it difficult, but it hadn’t. Of course I had been ridiculously pleased with myself. His hesitation to take of his pants, even when I zapped him with a spell to make them feel itchy and hot, was cute. It had taken all my willpower not to laugh. But I had finally slept.
The dreams of him never came. Instead, I slept deeply and peacefully.
But something had still changed between us.
After our argument yesterday, a new kind of tension now resided between us. I couldn’t name it. The same sizzling sexual awareness remained, but now there was something else, a deeper connection. A fragile bond forged by two people who had lost themselves.
When it came to Ewan Macgrath, I had no idea what I was doing half the time. That was why I avoided him all day. I didn’t know what to say to him.
I’d had lovers in the past, but they were few and far between. They also didn’t make me feel like this, desperate and out of control. They didn’t make me feel much at all, beyond relieving sexual frustration.
Macgrath elicited the full spectrum of my emotions. Anger, passion, sorrow, even frustration. In the last two days, I felt as though I’d gone from living my life in shades of grey to a kaleidoscope of color.
It was an overwhelming sensation and it sent me in a tailspin.
I felt Macgrath’s presence hit the room a few seconds before he spoke.
“Good morning.”
A shiver went down my spine. His voice was rough and deep, a low rumble that I felt in the pit of my stomach. Macgrath’s early morning voice was incredibly sexy and it made me wonder what those words would feel like if he spoke them against my throat as he slid inside me.
I shivered again and tried to hide my arousal behind my coffee mug though I knew it was pointless. Macgrath was a vampire. He would sense the rise in my heart rate and smell the changes in my body. When would I learn to maintain a spell to hide my reactions from him? Something about him made me lose my ability to think logically.
Still, he didn’t seem to notice. Grateful, I turned my eyes away and tried to rein in my wayward body. Damn hormones. They made everything more complicated, especially when dealing with a vampire.
I heard him pour a cup of coffee and steeled myself for his imminent proximity.
“Do you need more coffee?” he asked.
With my back to him, I closed my eyes and suppressed another shudder. That damned voice was going to be my undoing.
“No, thanks,” I murmured, lifting my cup to my lips. The liquid inside was lukewarm, but I drank it anyway.
Macgrath sat in the chair across from mine, his short hair was damp and his cheeks were rough with stubble. He looked dangerous and touchable. He also smelled delicious. I wanted to taste his skin to see if he tasted as yummy as he smelled.
I cleared my throat and set the coffee cup down before the tremor in my hands became noticeable. “I have to head to Savannah’s in a couple of hours. Kerry and I are going to discuss our next move.”
He leveled an intense stare at me. “I?”
I bit back a smirk. “We.”
Macgrath nodded and sipped his coffee. “Good. We need to find Rhiannon quickly before she tries to use the grimoire.”
I drained my cup and stood. “I’m going to take a shower and then we can go.”
He only nodded again and continued to drink.
I bit back a laugh as I left the kitchen. It seemed that not only was Ewan Macgrath’s voice very sexy first thing in the morning, but he was adorably grumpy as well.
Two hours later, we were once again seated around Savannah’s dining room table. Plates and bowls of food were spread across the table. Fruit, pastries, even a quiche.
Even under threat, Savannah wanted to do something nice for the people in her home. It was one of the things I loved about her.
I also noticed that Macgrath switched from coffee to tea as soon as it was available and made a mental note before refocusing on the conversation.
Kerry and I had already tried to locate Rhiannon with a scrying mirror, a crystal and a map, and several other locator spells. Just as before, none of them worked.
Once again, Rhiannon was in the wind.
I was both surprised and pleased with the knowledge and power Kerry possessed. In another twenty years, she would be fearsome.
My eyes strayed to her mate, Finn, and I knew that he would turn her before then. Her power would change and grow in unpredictable ways once she became a vampire. She could become one of the most powerful witches the world had ever seen or she might become the most powerful vampire. When those two types of magic were combined, the results were often unexpected.
Then there was the matter of Finn himself. There was no denying that the vampire had my eyes. He was the only other being, human or supernatural, that I had met with irises that color.
I’d lived too long to believe it was just a coincidence.
Kerry spoke, her focus on Rhys, but her voice drew my attention. I’d been distracted yesterday by everything that happened, but I hadn’t forgotten her words about my past. She knew who I was, or at least who I had been.
Aveta.
The name resonated within me. It was familiar, yet I didn’t understand why.
As I studied Kerry, she turned toward me and our eyes met. I was certain that she knew the direction my thoughts had taken because she mouthed, “Later.”
I canted my head to the side and gave a slight nod, letting her know that I accepted her request, but I didn’t intend to be put off for long. It might not be the best time for me to dig into my past, especially if it incapacitated me as it had yesterday, but I had to know.
Two thousand years was a long time to feel like a stranger in your own skin.
As Kerry spoke to Rhys and Finn, her words caught my ear. “I know a way around several blocking spells. If that’s what Rhiannon is using, we should be able to find her.”
“I have someone working on it,” Macgrath stated. “He figured out that she’d been at the house across the street from Ava’s home and he’ll find her again. Now that he has her trail, it won’t take long.”
“Who is he, exactly?” Rhys asked, his tone suspicious.
“No one you know,” Macgrath evaded.
I nearly rolled my eyes because that non-answer would only spur Rhys on. Before they could get into it, I waved a hand at Rhys. “Don’t start,” I admonished.
He frowned at me. “He must have something to hide if he won’t tell us who’s helping him,” he argued.
“Would you tell him the identity of someone helping you?”
Rhys’ frown became a scowl. “That’s different. He’s already proven that he can’t be trusted—”
I shook my head. “That’s enough. I understand why you have issues with Macgrath, but do you truly think he means us harm?” When he hesitated, I narrowed my eyes at him. “Answer honestly because I’ll know if you don’t.”
Rhys made a sound that was part growl and part groan. “I don’t think he means us harm,” he finally admitted.
I nodded. “I agree with you.” Then I turned to Macgrath. “But I still think you should tell us a little about your secret weapon. If something happens to you, we might still need his help.”
Macgrath’s eyes glittered with both amusement and irritation. Amused irritation. It was an interesting look for him. But then again, all his looks were interesting. “Your compassion and concern are astounding,” he replied, his voice heavily laced with sarcasm.
“My first priority is to protect Savannah and Rhys,” I answered back immediately. “I don’t believe that Rhiannon has given up her hopes to use Rhys. I think the grimoire is just a back-up plan.”
“I agree,” Kerry interjected. “The amount of power required for the spells in that book would be massive. It would drain her to the point of being nearly defenseless.”
I raised an eyebrow at Macgrath. “So you see, we at least need the name of your assistant.”
Macgrath sighed. “His name is Callum. He’s one of my… offspring.” He stared at Rhys. “He won’t betray me and I can guarantee you that he won’t help Rhiannon. He hates her more than any of you.”
“How can you be sure?” Rhys asked, his eyes narrowed.
“Because Rhiannon came between us. She wanted the woman he chose as his mate and I helped her disappear. He blamed me, especially when Rhiannon approached me a couple of centuries later. We didn’t speak for a long time after that.”
“Yet you went with her anyway?” Rhys asked. “Even though it drove a wedge between you and your offspring?”
I noticed Macgrath’s hands curl into fists and the air in the room seemed to swell with his anger.
And his shame.
“There was a time,” he murmured. “That I would have given anything…” He paused and looked at me. “Anything to know who I was and where I came from. Rhiannon offered to help me gain that knowledge in return for my allegiance.” His green eyes grew dark, the deep green-black of a forest at night. “I’m not proud of the weakness and I am ashamed of the blood that I ignored. Blood that now stains my soul. There is no way to atone for that and I’m sure the God and Goddess will see fit to punish me when my time on this plane is at an end.”
The room was utterly still and silent. Macgrath’s admission was fraught with sorrow and shame, the emotions so thick in the room they were nearly choking me.
“I no longer feel that way,” Macgrath stated. “I understand what Rhiannon was doing for all those years and it sickens me. The fact that I turned a blind eye disgusts me.”
Rhys no longer looked angry. He didn’t seem sympathetic either, but he was no longer angry.
Kerry and Finn looked troubled and dejected, as though Macgrath’s confession had hurt them in a terrible way.
And Savannah. She had tears in her eyes and I knew that somehow she was feeling everything Macgrath was feeling. She knew the true depth of his pain and regret.
Before any of us could speak, his cell phone vibrated and he looked down, ending the fragile moment.
“Excuse me,” he muttered as he got to his feet. “I have to take this.”
I watched him as he left the room, his figure straight and tall despite the weakness he’d just revealed to us all. Macgrath had learned to live with his regrets. They might haunt him from time to time, but they would never consume him.
As I looked around the table, I knew I wouldn’t have had the strength to admit my weaknesses to the males and females who sat there. I had done horrible things in my past as well. Events that I shared with no one, save the Goddess.
As I watched the rest of the group talk, I wondered if they knew, would they look at me the same way they did Macgrath? Would they wear suspicion and distaste like a cloak?
I never wanted to find out.