Chapter Twenty-Eight
Macgrath
I had to get away from Ava before I said something I would regret. I was too angry, unable to control my reactions or my thoughts. Seeing her on the other side of that ward left me feeling helpless and I loathed the sensation. I shielded my thoughts from her, keeping her at a distance. I couldn’t let these emotions leak through our connection. I needed to remain in control.
She was speaking but I couldn’t hear her words. All I could hear was the roaring in my ears and see the red haze around the edges of my vision.
“I cannot listen to you say these things right now. You betrayed me.”
As soon as the words left my lips, her face paled and I felt the sharp stab in my heart. But it wasn’t my pain. It was hers.
Disgusted with myself, I did the only thing I could think of—I escaped.
I traced away from the porch and into the trees at the edge of the property. I needed some distance. Some time to breathe and regain my control. I was enraged and in pain. The emotions were so tangled within me that I couldn’t separate them enough to judge where they originated.
Breathing hard, I ran through the trees, feeling the scrape of branches against my body and my face. I pushed myself faster and faster until the forest was nothing but a blur around me.
It wasn’t helping. Instead I stopped and roared, throwing my fist through the trunk of the nearest tree. It shattered, spewing forth a fountain of bark and splinters. The top half of the tree swayed drunkenly until it fell to the side, crashing to the ground.
I collapsed to my knees, unable to handle the emotions any longer, and I roared again. The sound was ripped from the depths of my soul.
The sudden rustling of leaves captured my attention and I smelled wolf.
Without lifting my head, I spoke. “Go away, Harrison.”
As usual, the wolf ignored me and trotted out of the trees, his eyes narrowed. He stopped in front of me and sat back on his haunches, his eyes still burning into mine.
“Do not look at me like that,” I commanded. “She betrayed me. I need time.”
His eyes remained narrowed and hard but he remained still, watching me.
“Rhiannon deserves to die for what she did. As long as she’s alive, she will never stop trying to escape or to hurt people.”
Finally, the wolf sighed and the air shimmered around him. A few moments later, he was human once more and naked as the day he was born.
He approached me and sat on the ground next to me, completely unaffected by the late January air.
“Running away into the woods and having a temper tantrum isn’t going to fix anything,” he pointed out.
I glared at him and swallowed a growl. “I know that,” I finally admitted. “I was out of control. I didn’t want to say something that I couldn’t take back. I didn’t want to hurt her with my anger.”
His brows rose. “So you abandoned her when she needed you? I’m sure that’s much less painful.”
This time I did growl. “I didn’t abandon her,” I argued. “I left before—”
He waved a hand. “Yeah, yeah, you said that already. Yet when I left moments ago, your mate was in the arms of one of your offspring, unconscious and drained from fighting the daughter of a Goddess. Now, I told you that I would keep my distance as long as you didn’t fuck up. Well, you just fucked up.”
I snarled and twisted toward him. “What the fuck does that mean?”
He stared at me, his eyes amber with his wolf. “What do you think?”
I turned to face him fully. “You stay the fuck away from my mate,” I growled. “She belongs to me.”
He leaned forward infinitesimally. “Maybe she shouldn’t.”
I lunged at him, my lips peeled back as my fangs elongated. We rolled on the ground, snarling and fighting. I was too blinded by my anger to make my attack strategic. I only knew that I wanted to rip his throat out. I could have called for my power, but using my fists and fangs was so much more satisfying.
A sharp jab to my ribs stole the air from my lungs, followed by a right hook to my jaw that had stars dancing in my vision. The wolf was stronger than any I’d ever fought before. He was no mere alpha.
I redoubled my efforts, landing several punches that made him yelp. Then we rolled again. He elbowed me in the face, snapping my head to the side.
“Fuck!” I snarled.
I lunged at him again, my fangs crashing together a scant inch from his neck. He howled, more a battle cry than a sound of surrender, and threw me off his body. My back slammed against a tree and I fell to the ground.
Suddenly, I was tired of fighting. I lay amongst the leaves and earth and stared at the sky. For millennia all I had done was battle. Against my enemies. Against myself. Maybe it was time to lay down my sword.
Harrison’s face appeared above me. I felt a thread of dark pleasure at the blood that trickled from his nose and the bruise darkening his jaw.
“Feel better?” he asked.
I huffed out a laugh, understanding then what he’d been doing. He gave me an outlet for the rage and wildness. Now that I was spent, all that was left was regret and an aching need for my mate.
“Yeah,” I answered breathlessly.
He held out a hand. I hesitated then took it and he helped me to my feet.
“Are you ready to return to Ava?” he asked.
I nodded.
“I understand, by the way.”
I glanced at him and saw that his gaze was focused on the trees around us. “Understand what?”
“Your anger,” he answered. “Your need for vengeance. We’re predators. We’re hardwired to chase down anything that threatens those we love. To destroy anything or anyone that has harmed us.” His eyes refocused and met mine. “But I also understand the curse that Ava placed on Rhiannon and believe me, it is much, much worse than any death you could give her. She will suffer and eventually go mad.”
“It’s not the same as looking into her eyes and knowing that justice was given by my hand,” I replied.
“So it wasn’t enough that Rhiannon paid, you had to be the one to take payment?” Harrison asked.
I sighed, seeing his point. “You’re right. I’m being selfish. I wanted to be the one who made her pay, who saw the life go out of her eyes.”
“Maybe someday you’ll get your chance,” he replied cryptically.
Before I could ask him what he meant, he shifted, returning to wolf form and started back toward the house.
I followed behind him, feeling both hollow and full of regret.
The house was eerily silent as we entered. Harrison padded away toward the room he was using, presumably to shift and redress. Kerry, Finn, Savannah, and Rhys were nowhere to be seen, but their doors were tightly shut. Only Arien, Callum, and Marcus were in the living room.
Callum and Arien were talking softly, but Marcus’ eyes were locked on me. He looked both thoughtful and annoyed. It was strange to see so much expression on his typically stoic face.
He rose to his feet and approached me. “Your mate is sleeping in your room.”
I frowned at him. “On the floor?” That was the only place she could have slept. I’d destroyed all the furniture just hours ago.
Marcus returned my frown. “On the bed.”
Curious, I turned and walked down the hall to the master bedroom. The door was cracked open. I pushed it the rest of the way and gaped in shock at the room.
Everything had been repaired, down to the small dish on the dresser where I kept my change.
“What in the hell?” I murmured.
“I fixed it.”
I turned toward the sound of Kerry’s voice behind us. “Thank you.”
She regarded me warily. “Are you calmer now?”
I nodded. “I’m sorry if I scared you.”
Kerry crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not the one you need to apologize to,” she pointed out.
“I know,” I admitted.
“Good,” she commented. “Now, go take care of your mate. She needs you more than you realize.”
I didn’t get a chance to reply because she disappeared back into her room and I heard the low murmur of Finn’s voice. I walked into the room on silent feet, stopping beside the bed to stare down at Ava’s sleeping form.
“She passed out in my arms, Ewan,” Marcus stated.
Another shaft of regret pierced my chest. “I should have been here,” I muttered.
He put a hand on my shoulder. “Just be sure you’re here next time.”
I heard him leave the room, shutting the door behind him. I sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to touch Ava’s cheek. She sighed in her sleep and settled deeper into the mattress.
It rolled over me then, the enormity of what had happened today. All that I had lost and all that I had gained. My anger might have been justified, but Ava was a blessing that far outweighed vengeance.
She was everything.
I moved around the bed and lay down behind her, curving my body around hers protectively. She felt small and soft in my arms, and completely mine.
I couldn’t sleep as I held her. There were too many thoughts, too many memories to sift through. But as long as she was there, that was all that mattered.