Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ava
I awoke alone.
The light coming through the windows was pale. Disoriented, I thought I must have slept until sunset. Then I realized that the light was on the wrong side of the house.
It wasn’t dusk, it was dawn. I’d slept for over twelve hours.
Groggy, I sat up on the edge of the bed and looked around. I was in Macgrath’s room and every stick of furniture was exactly as it had been before he destroyed it. Kerry must have used a spell to repair the damage. I appreciated it because without it I wouldn’t have had anywhere to sleep.
Rising to my feet, I wondered if Macgrath had ever returned last night. My heart ached at the thought of him staying away. I wanted to search for him, but I had more pressing needs at the moment. Mainly those of my bladder.
I walked into the bathroom and stopped short. My toiletries were organized on the countertop and my favorite robe hung from a hook by the shower. Confused, I wandered over to the counter and looked at the bottles and creams that sat on the mirrored tray I used at home.
A sharp pain bloomed low in my abdomen, reminding me that I had been unconscious for too long and I was ready to burst. I hurried to the small room that held the toilet and locked myself inside.
Once I finished, I washed my hands and left the bathroom. I moved to the walk-in closet in the bedroom and opened it, my mouth falling open. Along one wall, my clothes were hung neatly, organized exactly as I liked them, by garment and color. I was a bit anal about my closet because I wanted to be able to find exactly what I wanted when I wanted it. The fact that someone had taken the time to note that and make sure they replicated it here was surprising.
I left the closet door open and headed for the dresser against the wall. It had been nearly empty yesterday. Macgrath was only using one drawer.
I pulled one of the empty drawers out and gaped when I saw my undergarments neatly folded inside. I knew it wasn’t everything I owned because I loved clothes and lacy underwear, but it was more than enough for a few days. More like enough for a few weeks.
The house was quiet as I left the room and walked down the hallway. The guest room doors were all open and the rooms were empty. All the beds were made and there was no sign that my friends had even been there.
I walked into the kitchen and found a pot of coffee brewing, but there was no one around.
I looked out the front windows and saw nothing, so I headed toward the back deck.
Enormous windows were set in the back wall of the house, overlooking an idyllic meadow surrounded by trees. The sun was coming up over the horizon now, hues of orange, pink, and red taking over the sky.
I was transfixed by what I saw through the glass. Callum, Marcus, and Macgrath were all stripped to the waist and they were sparring. All three of them. Their breath steamed the cool morning air and their skin dripped with sweat despite the fact that they were shirtless.
I watched as they moved slowly, then quickly, through defensive moves and different attack styles. It was a sight to behold. Especially considering Marcus’ very interesting tattoos.
I decided to enjoy the view while sipping coffee and quickly fixed a cup for myself. I’d just settled into a chair on the back deck, a blanket wrapped around me like a large shawl, when Macgrath stopped in mid-motion and looked toward me.
At the same moment, Callum lunged and knocked Macgrath on his ass. I lifted my mug to hide my smirk as a poof of dirt flew up when Macgrath hit the ground hard. I knew he wasn’t hurt. It was clear they weren’t using their full strength, just warming up or cooling down. Honestly, I hoped they were warming up because watching three beautiful, shirtless men work out sounded like the perfect way to start the day.
Macgrath scowled up at Callum when he reached down to help him to his feet, but he took his hand, muttering something that had his friend laughing.
He walked away, leaving Callum and Marcus to their sparring and bounded up the steps to the back deck. Macgrath stopped next to the chair and crouched down, his hands on the arm. I took a deep breath, inhaling his crisp, addictive scent. He smelled like cold air and spice, a combination that went straight to my head.
“How are you feeling this morning?” he asked.
“Good,” I replied. “A little groggy but more like myself. Twelve hours of sleep will do that for a girl.”
His brows lifted. “Try thirty-six.”
I nearly spit my coffee out. “What?”
He reached out as if to brush my hair off my cheek, but hesitated, as if he was uncertain if I would be receptive. “You slept for a day and a half. It freaked me out, but Kerry promised that you were fine. They left last night with Caleb.”
“Who’s Caleb?” I asked.
Macgrath’s jaw tightened. “The man that Rhiannon used Gaius’ spell on. She created another animavore like Rhys, only she made him easier to control.”
“How is he?” I sipped my coffee and eyed Macgrath. He still had his mental shields in place so I couldn’t ascertain how he was feeling.
“I think he’ll be fine,” he replied, his eyes moved to a spot over my shoulder. “He has a lot to learn and Rhys has offered to help him.”
“That’s good,” I murmured, my face still buried in my coffee cup. I wasn’t sure if I was just desperate for caffeine or if Macgrath made a good pot, but this was the best fucking coffee I’d ever had.
“Let’s go inside,” Macgrath insisted.
Before I could reply or even stand, he reached into the chair and hauled me into his arms. I yelped, well, squealed really, and clutched my mug with both hands.
“I can walk,” I declared.
He ignored me and carried me inside, shutting the back door with his booted foot. I expected him to set me on the couch, but he walked through the living room, down the hall, and into the master bedroom.
Once he set me on the bed, he moved back to the door, shut it, and locked it. He almost walked away, but hesitated. He grabbed the chair from the corner and wedged it beneath the door handle.
I watched all this with raised brows as I drank more of my delicious coffee. “Planning something nefarious?” I asked.
He shook his head as he walked toward the bed, his expression earnest. “No, I just don’t want to be interrupted.”
I curled my legs beneath me and cradled the mug in my hands. “I’m listening.”
“I’m sorry,” he stated. “I’m sorry that I blew up at you and that I walked away. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way.”
He reached out and took the cup from my hands. I bit back a snarl because I really did want that coffee, but let him take it since it was clear he regretted his behavior. He took hold of both my hands in his and pressed them to his chest. Despite the coolness of the morning, his skin was slick and hot.
Now, I was resisting the urge to stroke his chest rather than reach for the coffee cup.
“Please forgive me.”
I smiled at him. In my memories of him when his name was Alaunus, he very rarely apologized. This was a refreshing change.
“Of course I forgive you,” I replied. Relief filled his expression. “I knew you would be angry when I did what I did. I expected it.” I patted his chest. “And I even expected you to need some time away from me. I won’t lie, it hurt when you said what you did, but I know you, Ewan. I was almost certain you would return to me once you cooled down. Maybe not right away or even after a few days, but eventually.”
He gripped my hands tighter. “I would never be able to stay away from you for that long,” he admitted. “And I was sorry for what I said as soon as it came out of my mouth, but I was still too angry to be reasonable.”
“And now?” I asked.
He kept his hold on my fingers but removed them from his chest, resting them on his thighs instead. “I understand why.” He sighed, laughing a little. “After talking with Harrison, I even agree.”
“Harrison? Really?”
He laughed again. “Yes, in this one instance, I do.”
I stared at him for a long time, my answering smile fading. “It’s truly over,” I murmured. “I can’t believe it’s finished.”
He let go of my hands, lifted his fingers to my face, and stroked my jaw. “It’s not over. It’s just beginning.”
In a week, my entire life had changed, but he was right. It wasn’t an ending.
When he leaned in to kiss me, I met him halfway. Relief, regret, and joy tangled into a ferocious knot in my abdomen.
Our lips clashed and his tongue spiked into my mouth, tasting me. Suddenly the barrier he’d erected between our minds disappeared and I could sense his emotions once more.
His feelings mirrored mine, relieved that it was over, yet mournful of what we had lost.
Macgrath laid me back on the bed, stretching his body over me. I wore nothing but a t-shirt and loose cotton pajama pants. He must have put them on me while I slept.
His hands were gentle as he stripped the shirt from my body, revealing my naked torso. When he lowered his mouth again, it was to my breast rather than my lips. His tongue flicked over my nipple before he wrapped his mouth around me and suckled.
My back arched and I buried my hands in his short hair. His lips and tongue felt incredible as they moved over my skin.
Then I remembered what I’d tried to tell him two days ago before he walked away and I yanked on his hair.
“Macgrath, about our daughter…”
He lifted his head and his eyes were glowing. His hand swept my hair back from my face as he stared down at me. “I wish I had gotten to see her.”
I touched his cheek. “She didn’t die as I thought. The Goddess—” I stopped, realizing it would be easier to show him what had happened rather than tell him. I closed my eyes and sent the images through our mental link, showing him the woman who took our baby, how she raised our child with love, and how our daughter had lived a long, blessed life.
When I opened my eyes, a single tear trailed down his cheek. “I’m still angry,” he admitted.
“I am too, but I’m glad she had a chance to live and live well even if I would rather have had her with me.”
There were so much more to say, an enormous tangle of emotions I still needed to unravel. No, not I. We. Macgrath and I would deal with our feelings over the loss of our daughter together, in our own time.
Our arousal had waned and Macgrath rolled onto his side, pulling me against him so my cheek rested on his chest and my arm was thrown over his belly. I lifted my right leg and draped it over his thigh, curling deeper into him and enjoying the press of my breasts against his bare ribs.
His hand stroked over my hair absently as he asked, “Have you ever thought about having another child?”
“Not really,” I admitted. “But only because I never found anyone I wanted to have a child with. What about you?”
I lifted my head so I could see his face and rested my chin on his chest. Macgrath stared at the ceiling and shook his head.
“Not really. At least not until today.”
I turned over more, stacking my hands on his ribcage and resting my chin on them so I could look down at him. “Not until today?”
“I know we can never replace our daughter, Ava, but…” he trailed off, his eyes moving from the ceiling to mine. “But it’s not about replacing her. I want a child with you. I always have. I want to create a family with you. Something beautiful from the both of us that will live on when we die.”
His words touched me and I stared down at him, my throat too tight to speak.
“Ava?” I felt his gentle probing at my mind before he smiled. “I see I’ve finally rendered you speechless. I’ll have to mark the day on the calendar.”
That was enough to rouse me from my emotional stupor. I pinched his chest lightly and he jerked, laughing as he grabbed my fingers.
I studied his smiling face and sparkling eyes and came to a decision. “I want to create a family with you too, Ewan. But not just yet. I’m not ready. And,” I lowered my mouth to his, the tip of my tongue tracing his bottom lip, teasing him. “I want you all to myself for a while first.”
He rolled us so he was on top of me now. “We have plenty of time,” he murmured as he held my head in place so his lips could come down on mine. Apparently he was tired of my teasing.
“Yes, we do,” I agreed.