Chapter Fifteen – Fern

“I’m not sure Theo likes me,” Carter said, as he checked his reflection in the mirror. He was dressed in a very smart, very expensive tuxedo, and looked every inch the movie star, except for his tie.

“Here, let me.” Carter straightened up and turned so she could adjust the gray-patterned tie. Fern teased the tie into shape. “There.”

“So?” Carter asked.

“So what?” Fern smoothed her veil down over her hair. They were about to leave, everyone would be in the small church by now, and her stomach was doing backflips at the thought of having to walk down the aisle in front of them all.

“Are you OK?” Carter asked.

“Nervous,” Fern said, her hand going to her stomach. “What if I’m sick as I walk down the aisle?”

“Then a couple of hundred people will see you puke,” Carter said casually. “And I will take out my handkerchief, and offer it to you and you will take it, wipe your mouth, and then we will continue on our way. Just don’t get it on your dress.”

“That’s it? No, don’t worry, you won’t be sick?” Fern cocked her head to one side. “Did I make a mistake asking you to give me away?”

“No, on the contrary, the congregation will all be so busy looking at me as I do something amazing to distract them, that they won’t even notice. I just don’t know what it is yet, but I’m good at improvisation.” He grinned, making her giggle nervously.

“I don’t think there are many brides who get to be upstaged by a movie star,” Fern said.

“There are not many brides this movie star would agree to give away.” He smiled and stroked her cheek. “He’s done wonders for you, that man of yours.”

“Even if he doesn’t like you,” Fern reminded him.

“So I’m right, he doesn’t.” There was a hint of disappointment in Carter’s voice, until she cracked open the smile she had been holding in. “Are you playing me?”

“I have been learning from a master,” Fern told him happily. “Of course he likes you. Now.”

“So he didn’t?” Carter glanced at his watch; the car should be here by now, she knew it, he knew it, but the chauffeur obviously didn’t. Or the traffic was bad. Fern took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.

“When we first met, Theo was worried you were responsible for me… Well, you know.” She tugged the sleeves of her dress down to cover the scars on her wrists. The wonderful ladies at Bear Brides had lengthened the sleeves for her, but she still felt paranoid they would ride up and everyone would see her scars.

“Oh. In a way he is right,” Carter said sadly. He came to stand in front of her, and she looked up into his oh-so-handsome-face and could not believe she was once so infatuated with this man. Not that she didn’t love him still, but not in that so-intense-it-hurt way, more of a knowing he would always be there for her, just as she would always be there for him, way. They were linked, but not in the same way she was linked with Theo, or Carter was linked with Caroline.

“No.” She shook her head firmly. “I was responsible. You were not.”

“You can say that as many times as you want, but I’ll always bear the guilt.”

“Don’t, Carter, please. If anyone should claim their part in it, it’s my parents, or at least my mom and stepdad. But you don’t see them here. They are not the ones I asked to walk me up the aisle. I chose you, because after all that happened, and how it affected you, you still let me into your life. You helped me. Without you, I would never have met Theo. I would never have been happy. At least, not this happy. And I am very happy.”

She smiled, fighting her tears.

“Are you going to need that handkerchief now?” he asked.

Fern dabbed her eyes with her fingers. “I don’t want to smudge my makeup.”

Carter looked at her critically. “You haven’t, you look beautiful.” Then he turned around and with a roar of frustration, he growled, “Where is that car?” As if in answer, his phone rang. Snatching it from his pocket, he answered it, his face fierce as he listened. Then he hung up. “The car has broken down.”

A weight shifted across her chest, a panic attack threatening. But she pushed it away: Fern had not succumbed to a full-blown panic attack for weeks, and she was not about to have one on her wedding day. “We’ll take my car.”

“We can’t.” Carter shook his head.

“Why? Doesn’t your movie-star-sized-ego approve?” Fern teased.

“This is your wedding day, you are supposed to have the best.” Carter began to scroll through his phone. “I’ll call someone.”

“No, you won’t,” Fern told him adamantly. She put her hand over his phone to stop him using it. “Theo is the best. And that is what today is all about, me marrying him. It doesn’t matter how I get there, as long as I get there. On time.”

“Do you have the keys?” Carter asked, holding out his hand for them.

“They are hanging up.” She walked out into the hallway of the small house she had lived in since she moved here. It was going to be sad to give it up, but she was also looking forward to moving in with Theo, and Walt. Dylan had sent his builders over from Bear Bluff, and the house Theo had grown up in now had extra rooms that would give the newlyweds some privacy.

Snatching the car keys off the hook where she kept them, she went back to the sitting room, picked up her bridal bouquet, and said, “Shall we go?”

Carter offered her his arm, and they walked out of the house, down the short path to the road. “I’ll drive,” Carter insisted, and she didn’t argue, not when she was wearing heels: if they got caught up in her dress and ripped the skirt, she would be upset and nothing was going to ruin today. Not one thing.

With some help from Carter, she got into the small Ford, her skirts gathered up around her. “OK.”

“Sure you are all in?” Carter asked, double-checking that her dress wasn’t billowing out of the door. She had chosen a dress with a fitted bodice, encrusted with pearls, and a full skirt, with a train. If she had known she would be getting into a small car, she might have chosen something different. Something less puffy. Fern placed her hands on the fabric carefully as she fought to keep it contained.

“Just shut the door,” she told Carter, and he closed it carefully, having to give it one last shove to make sure it was shut before jogging around to the driver’s side and getting in. Carter put the key in the ignition and turned it; the car didn’t start. He tried again, and the engine rumbled and then died. “Is this a sign?” Fern asked sadly.

“Yes, a sign you need a new car,” Carter said.

“Come on, you have never let me down before,” Fern said, patting the dashboard and willing the engine to start.

Carter turned the key one more time, and was rewarded by the engine sparking into life. Wasting no time, Carter put his foot on the gas and drove through the town, which was incredibly quiet, with no traffic on the road, and only a few people walking along the streets.

“Where is everyone?” Fern asked.

Carter looked at her sideways. “Where do you think?”

Her eyes widened. “Oh.” Her nerves jangled and her stomach lurched. So many people.

And there were, they lined the path leading up to the church, and congratulated her as she got out of the car, a small cheer rippling through the crowd.

“We thought you had changed your mind,” Teagan said as she, Fiona, and Caroline fussed around Fern, making sure her dress was perfect.

“Car broke down,” Carter informed them.

“But your old banger got you here,” Teagan said.

“Never let me down.” Fern felt her stomach roil, the blood draining from her face.

“It’s OK, Fern,” Fiona said, taking her hand and chafing it. “It’s only a wedding.”

“Only a wedding, with lots of people,” Fern croaked, her throat constricted with panic. “What if my voice doesn’t come out and they can’t hear me say I do.”

“Fern, look at me.” Fiona stood in front of Fern, her face full of confidence and kindness. Dressed in a pale-yellow outfit, with a hat placed at a jaunty angle on her head, Fiona looked almost regal.

“You look lovely, Fiona,” Fern said kindly.

“Thank you.” Fiona allowed herself an indulgent smile before she went back to her self-appointed task. “Now, let’s get you down that aisle.”

“Good idea, since Theo is waiting,” Teagan said, adjusting her dress. Teagan and Caroline had agreed to be bridesmaids, and had taken on the task with relish, helping Fern in every way possible. Fern had expected planning a wedding to be tense and stressful, but her two friends took it all in their stride, with occasional help from Fiona.

“Which is all you have to focus on, Fern. I will go in first and Theo will know you are here, he’ll be watching for you, and when you walk into the church, you look at him, and only him, until you feel the love in the room.” Fiona stroked Fern’s cheek. “And there is a lot of love in that room.”

“And it’s not for Carter either,” Caroline said quickly. “They are here for you, Fern.”

“Oh, I was hoping they would all be looking at Carter,” Fern said with a nervous laugh. Then she took a deep breath, holding on to it before she let it go. “I’m ready.”

Teagan and Caroline, as bridesmaids, positioned themselves behind Fern, fanning the train of her dress out to show it off. Fern had never felt so overdressed and out of her depth. Perhaps she might have felt better if her parents were here, or her mom at least. And a well of sadness threatened to consume her. She swallowed it back down. She didn’t need her parents; she had friends, and would soon be part of Theo’s family.

“You look beautiful,” Dani said as Fern walked toward her.

“Thank you.” Fern looked down at Juliet, who wore a pretty, pink floral dress and held a basket filled with rose petals, which she was busy throwing in front of the bride. “Hi there, Juliet. Do you want to go first?”

“Yes, please. Follow me. Follow the petals.” Juliet took off down the aisle, rose petals flying everywhere as she scattered them.

“Now it’s your turn,” Carter said. “But I suggest we take it a little slower.”

“Good thinking.” Fern steadied her nerves, and then walked toward Theo, concentrating on him and putting one foot in front of the other, just like Fiona had instructed her. Her confidence grew the closer she got to Theo, and soon she was smiling, and mouthing hello to people as she walked. Until she saw Walt, who was seated next to Cathy and her family, tears rolling down his cheeks. She had to fight back her own tears, as the enormity of what she was about to do hit her.

After a life alone, with no family, she was about to officially become a member of one of the most loving families she could ever hope to meet. In the weeks leading up to the wedding, Cathy had visited with her own kids; and Theo and his sister, along with her children, had found a renewed sense of belonging.

Would it last? Who knew, but it was a start. Just like today was the start of the rest of her life.

“You look beautiful,” Theo said, taking her hand from Carter, and lifting her veil off her face.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” she said, her voice husky with emotion.

He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “Sorry, I couldn’t wait,” Theo said, to a ripple of laughter. Then he grew deadly serious as they exchanged vows and promised each other forever in front of the people of Bear Creek.