Chapter Seven – Fern

“Hey, wait up,” Teagan called as Fern was about to back up her car around and drive away.

“You don’t have to leave on my account,” Fern said, her voice level, no sign of the emotion she had bottled up inside her.

“I could say the same thing,” Teagan replied. “I didn’t know you had so much stuff to do.”

“I was trying to give you two some time alone,” Fern said frankly. She wasn’t in the mood for playing games. It was obvious from the snippet of conversation she had overheard between Teagan and Theo that they were attracted to each other.

“Me and Theo?” Teagan frowned, her thoughts flitting across her face as she tried to figure out what Fern was implying. “Me and Theo?” she repeated. “Why would we want time alone?”

“Because you like each other.” Fern was trying to push the thought of that near-miss of a kiss from her mind.

“We like each other.” Teagan nodded. “Of course, we like each other. But not in any kind of way other than as friends.” Teagan came closer. “Look, I’m going to be frank with you. And you might not like it. I know you have stuff … baggage, from your past, and I understand that better than most people, because I have a whole truckload of my own. But please, don’t walk away from Theo. Don’t try to misread what he says just to give yourself an excuse to walk away.”

Fern got out of her old car needing to process what Teagan had said. Was that what she was doing? No, she had ears, she had heard the conversation that passed between them. “I heard you.”

“Heard us? Talking in the shed?” Teagan’s face flushed red, a sure sign of being found out. “Oh.” She opened her mouth and let it hang there, before she added, “It’s not what you think.”

“I thought we were friends, Teagan.” Fern’s bottom lip wanted to tremble, and she had to fight hard to keep control of herself.

“Oh honey, we are.” Teagan put down the large jar of honey. “Listen. I know what you heard, or what you thought you heard, but what you thought you heard, is not what you thought it was.” She smiled. “I can see why I don’t do well as a journalist.”

Fern hated Teagan putting herself down. But she also hated the idea that there was a secret between Theo and Teagan that they were not sharing with her, despite them both acknowledging she needed to know. “Just tell me.”

“It’s not an easy thing to tell,” Teagan said. Teagan was not usually nervous; in truth, Fern admired the way her friend went through life so confident and carefree, facing the world head-on and most of the time beating it into submission with her bright smile. But the Teagan standing here now was nervous. Really nervous.

“Try,” Fern said. Her feeling of betrayal was turning more to a sense of fear. Were they keeping a secret about Walt? “Is Walt dying?”

“No!” Teagan said, her hand shooting out as if trying to halt the words leaving Fern’s mouth. “At least, not that I know of.”

“Then what? Teagan, just say it.”

“Bear Creek is a special place…” Teagan paused.

“I know, that’s why I like it here.”

“But it’s more special than you think,” Teagan said. “Or at least the people here are more special.”

“I see that too. Everyone is so friendly. I know they don’t like me as much as they like you, but I’m working on it.” Fern’s mind raced. Was this what was wrong, had she offended someone in town, or at the hospital? She was so stupid, she wanted to fit in, but she didn’t know how, it didn’t come naturally as it did to other people.

“It’s nothing like that,” Teagan said nervously. “Oh goodness, I’ve never done this before.”

“Never done what?” Fern asked.

“OK, don’t freak.” Teagan put both hands out now, palms facing Fern as if to emphasize her words.

“I won’t.” Although Teagan was beginning to freak Fern out. What could Teagan have to hide that was making her so nervous?

“The people in Bear Creek … not all of them … but a lot of them are shifters.” Teagan took a large gulp of air and let it go as if in relief.

“What is a shifter?” Fern asked.

“A shifter.” Teagan put her hands on her hips, and looked at the ground, trying to figure out how to put what she needed to tell Fern into words. But before she had a chance, a bear came out of the trees, walking around the side of the house and then coming straight at them.

“Bear!” Fern cried, everything she had read about dealing with a bear attack conveniently leaving her head.

“It’s not a bear,” Teagan said with some relief. “At least not in the way you think.”

“How many ways are there to think that a bear is a bear?” Fern asked, backing up. “We should get in the car.”

“No, we can go up to this one and pat him. He’s friendly,” Teagan informed Fern.

“How do you know?” Fern asked.

“Because he is a shifter…” Teagan left the statement hanging in the air, but Fern still did not know what she meant.

“Is a shifter a breed of friendly bears?” Fern asked, surmising this was why the bear trinkets were so popular in town.

“You could look at it like that,” Teagan replied. “Or you could call them a half-breed.”

The bear before them cocked its head and gave a low rumble of warning, aimed at Teagan as if it could tell exactly what she had said. Fern stepped back from it. Was this some kind of a joke?

“Teagan, I think we should get in the car, and drive away.” Fern turned to grab Teagan’s hand, but her friend was approaching the bear, her hand outstretched, and the bear was reaching out to sniff her.

“He won’t hurt you.” Teagan swung her head around and added, “He can’t hurt you. You are his mate, Fern.”

The world twisted and curled around her, as she tried to make sense of what Teagan was saying. “What the hell is a mate? And why would I be a mate of a bear?” Were the people in Bear Creek into some kind of weird sex with animals? She couldn’t believe it.

“Teagan, I don’t think this is safe. Bears are not safe. You should not be stroking it.” Fern put her hand on the car door, searching for the handle.

Teagan turned away from the bear, not fearing the big beast, who might leap on her and pin her to the ground and bite her head off any second now. Fern’s breath became shallow and she fought against the need to sink into the deep, dark, comforting unconsciousness that threatened her. She was not going to let this bear attack Teagan.

“Teagan. Please, get in the car.” Fern’s voice was quiet but firm. Casting a glance at the bear, she was thankful to see he had not taken a step closer. Instead, he stood with four big feet planted firmly on the ground, staring at Fern with his brown eyes.

“Look at him, Fern. He won’t hurt you.” Teagan reached for Fern’s hand, and against her better judgment she allowed Teagan to lead her a step closer toward the amazing creature who held her gaze.

“He’s beautiful.”

“That will fuel his ego,” Teagan replied.

“I didn’t know bears had egos,” Fern questioned.

“Males in particular do,” Teagan told her, as she placed Fern’s hand on the large head of the bear. “Although this one doesn’t seem as bad as some I have met.”

“You’ve met a lot of these shifters?” Fern asked, plunging her fingers deep into the soft fur of the bear. He shivered, and she pulled back, unsure, but he turned his head and nudged her with his short snout, encouraging her to stroke him some more.

“The whole town is full of them,” Teagan informed a shocked Fern.

“I’ve never seen any bears in town,” Fern said, knowing she was missing something that Teagan was holding back. Swinging her head around she looked at the bear’s face, at his deep brown eyes and the flecks of gold there: warm, soft, kind. “Oh my god!”

Fern stumbled back, her hand shooting out to save herself from falling as the ground she stood on swam around her feet, waves of greens and browns, the world as she knew it breaking down, falling away. And then he was there. Out of nowhere, Theo was by her side, catching her, halting her fall, saving her from hitting the ground.

In that moment, it all came together. The conversation between Teagan and Theo, this was what they were talking about. This was what they said she had to know.

Theo held her against his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. “You were the bear?”

“Yes.”

“And I am your mate?”

“Yes.” His eyes, brown with flecks of gold, looked into hers, and although Fern had no real idea of what exactly being someone’s mate was, she knew that she wanted to be one. That she wanted to be Theo’s mate.

The sound of a vehicle starting made her sit up. “Is Teagan leaving?”

“Yes.”

“I should say goodbye.” Fern’s brain was functioning on two levels. One was trying to figure out exactly what she was to Theo, and the other wanted to pretend none of this had happened. It wanted to be in her battered, old familiar car, driving down the mountain, back to the normal life she knew.

But that normal life was one filled with loneliness, where she didn’t trust herself enough to even allow the thought of loving someone unconditionally to live more than a second before she squashed it under her foot. The scars on her wrists were the visible signs of a trauma that lived rooted deep within her soul. Could Theo give her a chance at love?

And there she went again, grabbing onto any hope that someone might love her.

Fern pulled away from him, but he held her close. “Don’t run from me, Fern. Teagan was right, I can never hurt you. All I want is to be with you, to make you happy, to make a family with you.”

She tried to scoot away once more. “Don’t say that. Don’t be so cruel.”

He let her go. “I’m not being cruel. This is the truth. This is who I am. I hoped you would accept me. The real me.”

Fern roughly wiped a tear off her cheek. “Did they tell you about me? Is this some kind of trick? Some sick game?”

“No.” Theo looked appalled. “Why would you think that?”

“Because no one can want me. No one can love me.” She screwed her eyes up, the fingers of her left hand going to stroke the silvery line of her scars. Weren’t those the words her stepfather had said to her over and over again? No one can ever love you, you ugly child. Then he had used his fists to make her ugly. Big bruises that she hid from the world, now healed on the outside, but indelibly marked on her ugly soul forever.