Chapter Seven
J ill watched in fascination as yet another young woman walked up to their table. This one a slim brunette, she held a penis sponge in her hand and had a veil pinned to the back of her head. Jill looked to Leonard as he stopped mid-sentence, as the woman stood nervously beside him and introduced herself.
“Hi, I’m Beckie, it’s my hen weekend, could you sign my penis please?”
“Ermm, sure,” Leonard replied, smirking as he took the pink sponge phallus and pen from her. Grinning, he turned it in his large hands, trying to find a space. “Maybe next time, find a bigger one,” he told her with a wink. After writing on it, he then handed the phallus and pen back to her,” blinking as she waved the pink sponge in the air like a trophy. With a woohoo, she took off, back to her friends.
Jill shook her head, her eyes following the woman’s progress. She then jumped as Leonard leaned over the table, and with a long finger, gently closed her mouth. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched the woman giggle and nearly trip over a chair as she waved the sponge around, showing her friends she’d gotten his signature. Her attention then turned back to Leonard suspiciously.
“Are you a movie star or something?”
“No.”
“Then… why did she want you to sign her penis?”
“Apart from that sounding just wrong, I don’t have a clue,” he shrugged as he picked up his wine. She’d noticed he’d been drinking a rose, if the colour was anything to go by.
Just as she was about to ask him another question, yet another woman stopped by their table, twirling a lock of her hair around her finger as she gazed adoringly at him.
“So, hi, I’m Lorna, could I get your number?”
Jill raised a brow as she sat back and picked up her vodka tonic, watching as Leonard smiled politely at the woman. She then watched his eyes slowly roam over her figure, before he shook his head and frowned. Jill rolled her eyes, put down her now empty glass, picked her coat up off the back of the chair and pulled it on.
Leonard looked towards the blonde before him, concentrated on her forehead and sighed. She’d was way too easy to read; then ignoring her, turned his attention back in time to catch Jill, putting on her jacket.
“Erm, Jill, are you going somewhere?” Leonard asked, watching the brunette on the other side of the table pull on her short jacket. Admiring the curves the fit showed off to perfection as she settled it over her form.
“Yes, I’m going home. Thanks for the entertainment
though,” Jill replied, dryly.
“Entertainment?” Leonard asked, perplexed. Completely dumbfounded by her. She’d not seemed to have bothered before now about the number of women that had stopped by. Now though she was looking at him as if he were a bug needing squashing. Which was the only way he could describe how she was presently glaring at him. It wasn’t something he’d ever come across before, they usually looked towards him with lust, not loathing.
“Yes, you know, drink and a show. As in the line of women that have stopped by our table in the last hour or so, asking for or handing you their numbers.”
“But we have a date,” he replied, not understanding.
“Look, Mr Tall, Dark and Popular. If I’d have realised that I would have to queue to speak to my date, I’d
have stayed home and dialled an orgasm instead.”
With that, she walked off, then turned back. Leonard grinned, the smug look spreading as she stepped back to the table. Eyebrow rising, he sat back and waited for an apology, but she just dropped a ten pound note on the table.
“My share for the drinks,” she told him, then turned away again and walked off, this time not stopping.
He’d been dumped, Leonard blinked, speechless. His glamour hadn’t touched her, not even a little as he’d thought earlier. She’d obviously just been sat there stewing as the women had paraded before him. Grinning, his smile widening, he pushed, then realised that the blonde was still stood by their table. Leonard’s eyes once again turned to her, watching as she stood there, twirling a lock of her hair around her finger. He rolled his eyes as her tongue came out and ran over her bottom lip, staring at him as if he was breakfast, lunch and dinner all rolled into one.
“So, I guess you’re free?”
“No, not for the foreseeable future,” Leonard told her with relish, looking forward to the chase about to come. When the annoying woman’s mouth before him opened to speak again, he stared at her and her face smoothed out. He listened to her thoughts about riding him with cowboy boots on and her boyfriend watching while tied to a chair. He shuddered, then with a little bit of whammy from him, he found her hypothalamus. She obediently turned around and walked away, back to her own table and her practically vibrating boyfriend who was presently sitting there, not tied.
“Now, why didn’t I think of doing that earlier?” Leonard sighed, watching the petite brunette who’d just given him his marching orders disappear through the entrance.
Picking up the money she’d dropped on the table, he slipped it into his suit jacket pocket, and headed to the bar to pay their bill. He handed over his gold card, adding a generous tip, then followed on her heels. A bit of speed and misdirection on his part, and he was leaning against the wall; outside the ladies’ room, when she came out.
Why did women always head to the toilets before they left a place? That and always going in 2’s? Just a few of the great mysteries in life that men didn’t know the reasoning behind. He could probably read her to find out, but did he want to know if she’d just been for a number one or a number two? Then there was the whole, did she wash her hands afterwards? Some things you just didn’t need, nor want to know.
“What do you want?” Jill growled as Leonard straightened up as she stepped out of the ladies’ room. She’d gone to the toilet to pee, but had just washed her hands in the end as there was a bloody queue to use the facilities. She’d then stood drying her hands and had been listening to a couple of women discussing Leonard and all the things they wanted to do to him. It had not helped her temper in the slightest.
“We have a date, it’s not very good manners to walk out and leave me when I’ve done nothing wrong,” Leonard informed her, feeling quite disgruntled over having to chase her down. Okay, he’d admit that it was quite exhilarating to have to chase a woman, but on the other hand, he’d never had to do it before.
“I told you the date was over, we are not suited,” Jill hissed, turning and heading outside. “Thank you,” she murmured, tightly smiling at the doorman who held the door open for them.
“You’re welcome, and here’s my number, call me,” the big man with the cropped blond hair replied.”
“Oh, erm…” Jill wasn’t sure what to say, she was flattered, then she stomped her foot as the guy handed the card over to Leonard with a wink. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, are you sprinkled with fairy dust or something,” she sputtered as she stormed out of the place and off up the street.
Leonard laughed as he followed on Jill’s heels, she was adorable when she was pissed off. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes sparkling and her bad temper practically flowed off her in waves.
God, he was turned on.
Then he ground his teeth as he remembered he couldn’t touch her.
“Bollocks,” he mumbled under his breath as he pushed his hands in his suit jacket pockets. “Jill, hold up, we haven’t eaten yet, do you want to grab something to eat?”
“No,” she threw over her shoulder not stopping her clipped walk, then entered a local chip shop and he laughed.
“I thought you said you weren’t hungry.”
“No, I said I didn’t want to grab something to eat with you,” she hissed as she moved towards the counter.
“Aww, don’t be so mean, I can’t help it if women find me irresistible.”
“Bite me,” she hissed. Leonard actually licked a fang at that one, before snapping his teeth at her, chuckling when she growled at him. Then her annoyance was replaced with a sly smirk. “Don’t forget the doorman,” she told him gleefully, her smirk transforming into a shit eating grin when he shuddered. Sighing, her shoulders drooped as she looked to him. “Look Leo, you and me, not going to happen, you are not my type.”
“Ooh, sugar, you are so my type,” replied the middle-aged woman behind the counter.
“See,” Jill growled again, glaring at him. Her hand moving between him and the woman waiting to take their order; whose eyes were roving over Leonard as if she’d rather have him than anything on the menu. “Do you have some kind of pheromone that you spray on before you leave the house, or do you fart attractant or something?” Jill hissed again and he full out laughed. He couldn’t help it; it was just so unexpected. She was blunt to the point of rudeness, not something he’d ever dealt with before. Well, he had, but that was the women who were mated to the jaguars, they were all feisty. Jill was like a cute, harmless kitten, hissing and spitting at him, and he’d not had so much fun in ages.
“Look, Leo, I’m sure you’re a nice guy, but I do not want to compete with the rest of humanity to have a conversation with my date. For just once in my life I’d like to find a man who has eyes only for me. I’ve had enough of men that can’t keep it in their pants, and you well, I’m not sure if you keep it in your pants or not but you have a roving eye, constantly checking out anything with a pulse. So, have a nice life,” she waved. “Now, can I have a large portion of chips with lots of salt please,” she told the middle-aged woman as she turned to her. The woman completely ignored her though, now busy fluttering her eyelashes at Leonard.
Leonard didn’t like the way she’d just described him. He also didn’t like the idea of her constantly being left feeling as though she wasn’t enough. He didn’t know her, not yet, but weirdly enough he found that he’d like to. A concept unheard of where he was concerned and, it confused the hell out of him.
“Please, can you get my date her chips, and I’ll have the same,” Leonard told the woman who was still staring at him. Sighing, he stepped closer to the counter. He put his front to Jill’s back as he stared back at the woman behind the counter. From here, Jill wouldn’t be able to see what he was up to. He slammed the whammy on the woman and bingo, her mind became an open book. It was as easy to slip into her thoughts as a knife went through butter. She snapped out of her glamour trance and became professional, their order now wrapped and on the counter with a polite smile.
“Can I have a can of fizzy orange too, please,” Jill said, rooting in her bag for her purse.
Leonard leaned over and handed the woman a ten-pound-note.
“I can pay for my own,” Jill told him, snappily.
“You are, this is what you left on the table back at the pub. I covered the drinks, so you are now buying me supper,” Leonard told her, nudging her with his shoulder. “Now play nice Jill, you’ll give yourself indigestion,” he told her as he took the change, slipping it into her jacket pocket and picking up the wrapped chips and can of fizzy pop off the counter. “Here,” he said, stepping back and as she turned, he handed her the can. He refused to drink that stuff. He’d manage to have a snifter out of his flask; to wash down the grease in the paper, once they’d found somewhere to sit and eat.