prologue
Noah watched Rafe through the window. His future brother-in-law stood silent sentry over the rest of the clan. Even on the occasion of his beloved sister's wedding, he held himself separate. Not out of reach in case he was needed, but still, not part of the group. An outsider.
Maybe this is a mistake.
No. It wasn’t a mistake. Rafe DeMarco was his brother. Had always been his brother, his teacher. Even if he was different now.
Noah rubbed the back of his neck. He knew it was true. Rafe had seen things, done things. He’d been out in the cold too long. Without friends, without family. Rafe had never come out and expressed anything, but knowing the kind of undercover work he'd done, Noah could imagine how he felt.
He didn't want his brother to be separate from them anymore. It was time to do the right thing. The only real question was how the others would take it. They worked for him, but in essence, Blake Security ran like a family. And likely, each of them would have something to say about his decision.
Also, seeing as Rafe had tried to kill them all, some of them might still be holding grudges.
Luckily, it was just that one time. Okay, it might have been a couple of times. Rafe was sorry though, right?
Maybe not as sorry as he should be.
Noah pushed into the waiting room. Jonas greeted him with a grin. "There he is. We were starting to wonder if you'd executed plan Condor."
Noah frowned. "What the fuck is plan Condor?
Dylan eyed him knowingly. "It's a plan where you take flight like a bird."
Noah rolled his eyes. "Do you have any idea how long I waited to have Lucia? I'm not going anywhere." He frowned. "Though, now I feel like I should have one of you make sure she doesn’t run."
Oskar rolled his eyes. “Well if JJ is planning the escape, they’re already gone.”
Noah frowned. Lucia's best friend JJ was a known troublemaker and had a mouth like a sailor, but even she couldn't convince Lucia to turn runaway bride. Could she?
No dumbass. They're just rattling your cage.
Rafe frowned. "If she doesn’t want to get married, we’re certainly not going to force her."
"Have you met your sister? When was the last time she did anything that she didn't precisely want to do?"
Rafe chuckled. "Yeah, you have a point about that."
“Can I borrow you for a minute, Rafe?” Noah kept his voice low, but the atmosphere in the room changed in a heartbeat.
Rafe gave him a terse nod before saying, “Yeah of course.”
Once Noah had him out of the vestibule and into the courtyard of the church, Rafe was all business. "What's up man?"
“You know what I want to ask you, right?"
Rafe nodded. “I could see you’ve been working up to it. But I’ll tell you the truth, it's a little late for strippers. My sister would kill me."
Noah chuckled. "As if you would let me get strippers."
"Yeah, of course. I mean I would just hire the same crew of jocks that she hired for you last time. That shit would be funny."
"Man, she told you about that?"
Rafe chuckled. "Yep. Now I know what to get you for every birthday for the rest of your life."
"And here I thought we were brothers."
Rafe grinned, and for a second he looked much more like the man who’d trained Noah. The man who’d taught him everything he knew. "That is precisely why I'm getting you strippers every birthday. What are big brothers for?"
Noah laughed. "You know, that's a good point.”
“So what's up Noah? It’s not like you to have cold feet.”
Noah slanted him a look. "You do know me." He rubbed his jaw, unsure what to do with the sudden influx of nerves. "Look, I know you’ve got your own deal with the FBI and your undercover assignments with Interpol. But I think maybe you’ve been doing that too long. Maybe it's time to come back into the fold. Family, friends, and all that."
Rafe had always been hard to read. He was an inscrutable bastard. But Noah pressed on. "Look, it’s probably clear to you I need help. I’ve got more work than I have men for, and I’m spread thin. We’ve taken a lot of hits this past year. Ryan and Dylan are great, but I need someone who can take them to the next level. Matthias is good, but he’s too on edge to be a teacher. I could use someone who actually knows how to train agents. But you know, not for wet work."
Rafe shook his head. "You try to kill a guy one time, and he never lets that shit go."
Noah chuckled. "Well, it was more than one time. Let's face it, you very nearly killed me."
"Well, you actually did kill me." At Noah's wince, Rafe chuckled. "Too soon?"
Noah nodded. "Yeah man, too soon. I'm not used to having you back yet." Noah sighed. This felt good. Like those years between them vanished. Up until now, he hadn’t known what to say. "Seriously though. We always think about it. I —" he cleared his throat. "Not just for Lucia, but for me. I... missed you."
Noah met Rafe’s gaze. He would have sworn he saw a glimmer of hope. Maybe longing.
Rafe rocked back on his heels. "You know, I think I’ve had enough of the FBI. Obviously, I would never go back to ORUS. I never wanted to be in anyway. But that blood on my hands, Noah… it’s not a small thing."
Noah nodded. "I know. But if I can do it, you can. It’s pretty easy actually. The jobs you go on, you’re almost guaranteed to come home from.”
Rafe shrugged. “Sounds boring. Can’t you throw in a starlet or something?”
Noah chuckled. “I’ll see what I can do, man. You might have to wrestle Dylan for starlet duty though.”
"To hear Dylan talk about it, it's like he’d rather face a firing squad.”
"I don't know what he has against pop princesses. I swear that was one of my favorite assignments."
Rafe nodded. "I’ve lost too much time with Lucia and Nonna. Other people, too."
Noah rolled his eyes. "Just say it man, you missed me. Go on, you know you want to."
"Yeah, whatever. You can use some extra training. Next time go for the kill shot."
Noah shook his head. "Fuck man, still too soon."
"Speaking of too soon, how do think the band of misfits in there is gonna take it?"
Noah sighed. “Oh, they’ll follow along. But could you maybe try to refrain from dislocating any shoulders or killing anyone? You know, for a while."
"There you go, ruining all my fun."
It felt good bantering with Rafe. Noah’s heart might burst he was so happy. But he sobered quickly. "About Matthias though."
Rafe’s good-natured attitude melted off his body. "Is he tight? Because he looks like he’s riding that edge."
Noah nodded. "He had it bad before he even got to ORUS, and I don't know, I might not have gotten him out soon enough. That killer instinct is right below the surface, you know?"
"The way he fights, he’s good. A complete natural."
Noah nodded. "Unless absolutely necessary, I’ve benched him from any violent shit. Only time I let him out in the field is for his unique expertise or if I really think some people could get killed. He's a good kid, and he's never had a fair shot."
Rafe nodded. "I'll give him a wide berth for a bit. Give him a chance to settle down and get used to me." He paused for a moment and slid him a glance. “We good?”
Noah nodded. "Yeah. We’re good. You helped me when I was going off the rails, and I’ve never said thank you for that."
Rafe nodded and drew in a deep breath. "And I never said I was sorry."
Noah frowned. "For what?"
"You are my brother. And you're about to be my brother-in-law in just a little under an hour —"
Noah shook his head. "Man, it's not necessary."
"Yes, it is. I feel like I’m in Assassins Anonymous or some shit. But I do need to make amends. I'm sorry for the guilt you had to carry around. If there had been any other way to protect the two of you, I would have taken it."
Shit, were his eyes stinging? "I understand. I just wish —"
Rafe's brows drew up. "Yeah?"
"I just wish we didn't have so much time to make up for."
Rafe nodded and swiped a knuckle under his eye. "Yeah. Me too. So, what do you say we get back to the assholes so you can break the news to them real easy, like a couple of anal virgins."
Noah shook his head. "Way inappropriate man. Seems like you’ll fit right in."
"Okay guys, I wanted to talk to you about something before the wedding. Things have been busier than ever this past year. It's time to expand."
Jonas narrowed his gaze. "Yeah? How many are we taking on? We’re spread thin already, and training can be kind of a bitch."
Noah nodded. "I hear you. That's why we're only taking on one new guy. And I guarantee you, training won't be necessary."
Matthias’s gaze ping-ponged between Noah and Rafe. "Nah, mate. Tell me you're not fucking thinking what I think you're thinking about."
Dylan slid his gaze back and forth between Noah and Matthias. "Huh? What am I missing?"
Oskar crossed his arms and hung his head, shaking it backward and forward. "You don't see it? Noah is asking this one to join the team." He jerked his thumb in Rafe's direction.
Rafe, to his credit, didn't budge. Didn't move, didn't smile, frown or anything.
Matthias however was far less cool. "Over my fucking dead body, mate."
Rafe muttered under his breath. "That can be arranged."
Of course that got Matthias's hackles up. He took a step toward Rafe, and Oskar had to physically stop him.
Dylan shook his head. "No. Not doing it. Not working with this asshole. Dude, have you forgotten he tried to kill us? More than once?"
Rafe smirked. "Trust me, if I’d actually wanted you dead, you would be dead."
Noah shook his head. "Rafe, not fucking helping."
Ryan chuckled. "I can't believe this. You're actually thinking about asking this turd to join the team. I know he's Lucia's brother and all but, I don't like it."
As the members of his team grumbled, Noah could see the loneliness, the confusion, and what he thought might be a faint glimmer of hope. "Okay, you idiots, you’ve had the opportunity to express your displeasure. Not that I give two shits. Do you all trust me?"
Matthias was the first to meet his gaze. The kid may not be happy about what Noah was saying right now, but after everything that had happened between them, Noah knew he had Matthias's loyalty, no matter what. When he spoke, his voice was barely above a growl. "Through fire," he said quietly.
Noah nodded. Honestly, he hadn't even had to ask. Although, it might be one hell of a task trying to keep the two of them from killing each other. Matthias was somewhat untested, but in some ways he was just as deadly as Rafe. Dylan just threw up his hands. "Are you fucking serious right now?"
Next to Dylan, Ryan clenched his jaw. "Yeah boss, you know I do, especially after what you've done for me, but —"
Noah shook his head. "No buts. You either trust me, or you don't."
Ryan swallowed but then nodded, unable to even look at him.
Considering where Noah had found Ryan, the kid was a sure bet, too.
Dylan was a wildcard. As was Oskar. Not that Noah didn't think Oskar would do the right thing, but rather because the German was somewhat of a wildcard all the time. He always had his own motivations for doing things. Yet he always wanted to do the right thing. And if he thought you were doing that, he’d follow without question. And then there was Jonas. His best friend. The friend who'd been left to pick up the pieces of his shattered soul. The friend who he lied to for years, but who he’d eventually been forced to come clean with about who he was. Jonas was also the friend who’d helped him heal.
And you saved him too. There’d been a moment in time when Jonas had been sitting in front of the gates of hell. And then Noah’s skills had come in handy. But honestly, if Noah was being honest with himself, his friend had saved him more than he helped his friend.
Jonas slid his gaze to Noah and nodded. "I don't like it. I'm not a fan." He glanced briefly over to Rafe. "But he's Lucia's brother, which means he’ll do anything to keep his sister safe. And she is our family, so I’m assuming that extends to us. And then, well, you're vouching for him. So I may not understand it, but I'll back your play. Although," he turned to face Rafe and stared him down, "you try any of that shit again, and I will kill you in your sleep."
Rafe smirked. "Again, you're welcome to try."
Noah could only chuckle. That was Rafe for you. Because at the end of the day, everyone in the room knew that if Rafe wanted to, he could put them all down.
Dylan dropped his hands. "Seriously? Whatever man. If you say he's on the team, he’s on the team. I'll work with him. But that's only because I trust you."
Noah nodded. Oskar only chuckled. "Why the fuck not? Hell, since these guys are pussies anyway, I'll volunteer to train him."
"Like I need your fucking training," Rafe growled.
"See in the real world, you can’t go around killing people and shit. I know you former assassins have a problem with that. But it’s not really what we do here. So I'm happy to teach you the finer points of security. You know… not killing the clients and shit."
Rafe considered this. "Yeah, you might have a point. I am better at killing things."
Oskar just shook his head. "You see, my training skills are at work already."
Noah turned his gaze to his friend, the man he’d call brother in under an hour. “Welcome back to the fold.”
10 Months Later…
Jessica Jones closed her eyes, exhausted. Day after draining day of pulling double duty while her bestie and partner in crime was on maternity leave was starting to take its toll. Like hell was she going to start complaining, though. If anyone deserved happiness, it was Lucia. Her best friend had been to hell and back and deserved the time off.
JJ could deal. After all Lucia would do it for her. Besides, JJ wasn’t letting a prima donna fashion designer run her into the ground and call uncle. She’d rather burn her Jimmy Choos first. She could handle anything their boss Adriana could dish out.
It felt like she’d only shut her eyes for mere seconds before she frowned in her sleep.
Something was wrong. Very wrong.
When she peeled her eyes open again, she was in hell.
“Oh my god,” she screamed.
But that scream was her first mistake. It meant emptying out her lungs, which meant she needed to breathe... and that meant lungs full of smoke.
It was so hot her hair plastered against her head and her sheets clung to her naked breasts from sweat. Yeah, she slept topless, so what? It had been so hot lately.
Frantic, she looked around the room trying to find the source of heat. It was so dark she couldn't see anything. But she could feel the smoke all around her, cloying and thick, wrapping around her and constricting her lungs.
“Don't panic.” The sound of her own voice out loud scared her out of her frozen state. Fear immobilizes. Anger motivates. That’s right, get pissed off!
If there was anything JJ was good at, it was being hot tempered. What the fuck was smoke doing in her room anyway? She’d just had a goddamned blowout. She needed to charge that color and cut to whatever or whoever was the source of this fire.
Move your ass girly.
She had to move because she was not dying in this room. She did not survive her past to die like this. Fuck that noise. Besides, if she died like this, Lucia would resurrect her ass and kill her all over again. After Lucia had survived being stalked and almost killed, JJ had a new appreciation for the meaning of life.
She swung her legs over the side of the bed, letting out a sigh of relief when her toes met the carpet. Now that her eyes had adjusted to the dark somewhat, she could see the faint hint of an orange glow from down the hall. Which meant the fire hadn't reached her room... yet.
But the bedroom door stood open to the hall, which was probably why she could already smell the smoke.
It was weird that the door was open. She always closed the door before going to sleep. It was one of the things Lucia’s husband had drilled into her. Noah owned a security company, and his overprotectiveness toward Lucia had spilled over onto JJ. Now she always had one of the annoying, albeit sexy, guys who worked for him trailing her to and from work, and her apartment had been subjected to a thorough security ‘review’ by Noah’s resident IT wizard. Matthias had deemed her place ‘merely acceptable.’
JJ was pretty sure they'd have asked her to move if they hadn’t known from experience that she didn't take suggestions well. The last thing she needed was some man trying to tell her what to do. Maybe Lucia was okay with that, but she wasn't interested. JJ knew from experience that she didn't want any man having control over her life. Never again. That alpha-asshole shit didn't work for her, so they could shove their over protectiveness where the sun didn’t shine.
With a quick glance at the open door, she realized it was actually lucky she'd left it open, otherwise she might not have woken up until the flames were closer. What the hell had woken her? You can think through that shit after you’re safe. Yeah, good point. She grabbed up her comforter and wrapped herself in the thick fabric, bringing it up over her head as she stepped into a pair of slippers.
How far to the door? The window might be an option if the fire escape hadn’t been welded over some years ago. She looked up and then squinted in the darkness. And then she saw the shadow in the hall. The man-sized shadow.
Fuck me. She opened her mouth to scream then reached into her bedside drawer for the nearest weapon she could find. She’d been aiming for the retractable baton she kept in the top drawer. But instead she’d come up with a gag gift from a bachelorette party a couple of years ago. A giant purple vibrator.
What are you gonna do with that? Fuck him to death? Well that was a thought.
“Who the hell are you? And what the fuck are you doing in my apartment?”
He stepped forward slightly, his body still half-hidden outside the door, and JJ raised her makeshift weapon.
“I'm here for you, Jessica. I’m always here for you.”
JJ clutched the blanket closer, and her fingers curled around the vibrator as his voice washed over her. The low tone of his words sliced through her veins. That voice. It had been so long since she'd heard that voice. She'd hoped to never hear it again, except in her nightmares.
“How did you find me?”
His chuckle was almost as terrifying as the words that followed. “I never lost you.”
JJ screamed and backed up so fast that she stumbled and fell on the bed. The comforter tangled around her and she fought against it, certain the next touch she'd feel would be the last.
Strong hands wrapped around her flailing arms.
“Damn it, you crazy woman, I'm trying to help you!”
It took a few seconds before she recognized the voice, her terror distorting it into the one she feared most. When she finally spoke, her voice was tiny.
“Jonas? Is that you?”
The comforter was pulled back away from her eyes, and Jonas’s handsome face appeared. Jonas Castillo worked for Noah’s security company and was a regular fixture in her life. He was routinely assigned to protect Lucia, and by default JJ, during the workweek. She took great pleasure in giving him hell, and he was usually cursing her name or bickering with her.
“Yes, of course it's me.”
Before she could question what he was doing there, she felt herself being lifted. She clutched his shoulders automatically, disoriented after her fall. Now she wasn't sure if that had actually happened. Had she been dreaming? It was so hard to tell.
“Jonas, did you see anyone else in the apartment?”
“Like who? Don't you live alone?”
Was that jealousy in his voice? Even under these circumstances, JJ couldn't resist the urge to screw with him a little.
“Actually I don't. We can't leave without my favorite guy.”
“Who? And if you have a boyfriend, where is he? Some help he is during an emergency.”
“Well, Fluffy has never been much help during emergencies, but he blows the best wet kisses.”
Jonas didn't pause. “I'll come back for your dog, I promise. But I have to get you to safety.”
It must have been the smoke affecting her brain, because at first JJ didn't realize what he’d said. It wasn't until they were at the front door that she understood he meant to leave.
“No! I have to get Fluffy!” JJ swatted at his massive chest. She must have surprised him because his arms loosened around her legs, giving her the room she needed to jump down.
“Damn it, JJ! This is serious. We don't have time to stop.”
“It'll just take a second.” JJ raced back to the guest bedroom and grabbed Fluffy, covering him with the comforter as she ran.
Jonas picked her up as soon as she hit the hallway and ran for the front door. They passed a crew of firefighters in the corridor outside her apartment. The smoke was thicker out here, so JJ buried her face in Jonas’s shoulder, making sure to keep Fluffy covered too.
When they got outside, Jonas set them down carefully on the grass, safely away from the building. An EMT approached, and Jonas pointed at JJ. She was going to protest, but dissolved into a coughing fit as soon as she opened her mouth. The young man frowned and knelt on the grass next to her. Then his eyes widened when her comforter slipped and she almost flashed an entire boob at him.
“Hey, eyes up, kid.” Jonas glared at him before yanking his shirt off. He put it over JJ’s head, and she maneuvered carefully to get her arms in without dropping the comforter completely. If she hadn't felt so crappy, she'd have told him exactly where he could shove it. She didn't need anyone speaking for her.
Just to annoy him, she gave the EMT a bright smile that had the young man blushing furiously. Jonas scowled at both of them.
After a flurry of activity, blood pressure cuffs, and oxygen, they finally left her alone. That's when Jonas got a good look at her again. Her and Fluffy.
“A fish? You risked your life to save a fucking fish?”
JJ scooped up Fluffy’s bowl protectively. “Fluffy is not just a fish. He’s a Japanese fighting fish. A total badass.”
Jonas looked like he wanted to strangle her. Normally that was exactly the effect she was going for, but strangely, it wasn't as satisfying as usual.
“Thank you, Jonas. For coming in after me.”
He looked as shocked as she felt by her sudden gratitude.
“Of course. It's nothing. The fire department would have gotten to you soon. I just happened to get there first when Matthias said your alarms were triggered.”
The talk of alarms brought back memories of the man she'd seen in the smoke. It had happened so fast, and she couldn't be sure what was real and what had been a dream.
“Did you see anyone in there?” At his confused look, JJ clarified, “In my apartment?”
Jonas knelt and looked her in the eye. “Was there someone in there with you, Jessica?”
It was all such a blur, and she didn't like the way he was looking at her. Noah’s entire crew was extremely overprotective, so if she said the wrong thing, she'd end up on house arrest with Jonas as her jailor. Plus, it was likely it had all been a dream. Jonas had been in her apartment. He would have seen if anyone else was there. The man in the smoke was nothing more than a shadow from a past she'd rather forget.
“No, I meant in the building. I just want to make sure all my neighbors got out okay.”
Jonas looked like he wanted to say something else, but Noah arrived just then with Lucia right behind him.
JJ accepted a hug from her friend, and that was when it really hit her.
“I guess I'm homeless now.”
Noah’s voice carried from behind Lucia. “You'll stay with us, of course.”
JJ’s eyes met Jonas’s, and she knew he was thinking about her earlier question.
“It’s for the best,” Jonas said.
She glanced over at Lucia. “Free rent and a house full of hot men. Count me in.”