Chapter Sixteen
Sonya
I’d never thought of putting Worcestershire sauce on steak, but it smelled so good I could hardly wait to find out how it would taste. But that could’ve been because I was absolutely starving. Trying to learn to fight—a losing battle, by the way—learning a new language, and channeling lightning the other day had taken a lot out of me. My head still reeled over the channeling lightning thing. None of the books Ty had pored over told us anything about it. But I wasn’t worried about it like he was. For one, I loved storms, always had. I didn’t possess the fear for them most people did. That fear was self-preservation, I know, and it was probably stupid to be without it. But, it was what it was.
Channeling lightning had felt amazing, almost as good as sex, chocolate, and the buzz you get after a really good workout all rolled into one. Anything that felt that good couldn’t be all bad. At least that’s what I was going with. Hell, this werewolf thing needed a perk or two, so I was taking it where I could get it. Amazing as it was, a huge part of me was disappointed that it had interrupted the kiss Ty and I had almost shared. Clearly he felt something for me. I still didn’t know if the verða was heightening my feelings for him or not, but I was starting to think it might not matter. He was a good man, the kind a girl could have a future with. Maybe it was time I actually went after a guy like that. And maybe, just maybe, it would work. First, to make it through the verða alive.
Perched on a tall stool next to the bar, I kept a watchful eye on Ty as he cooked. Not that I had to worry, by all indications it seemed he would undercook the meat rather than overcook it. The sweet, buttery scents of both corn and potatoes roasting within tin foil on the top shelf drifted to me. Spatula in hand, Ty leaned over the grill, blond brows scrunched together in concentration. In a pair of khaki cargo shorts and a faded tan short-sleeved shirt, he looked a bit like a Viking slumming with mortals on the weekend. Sipping at my iced tea, I tried to tune out the voice in my head that told me to reach over and touch him. It was getting harder and harder. But, that was in part due to the fact that I was losing my will to fight it.
Each day that passed made me more and more comfortable with the idea of becoming a varúlfur. That had to be the key to staving off the madness, didn’t it? Watching Ty made me feel a bit out of control, and I wasn’t sure that was a good thing. It wasn’t that I was worried about him being outcast or any of that crap. That didn’t matter to me. But how could I focus enough to stay sane while I couldn’t stop thinking about him?
Since I had dressed in a low-cut red silk tank top that clung to my breasts like a second skin to pay him back for his display at the lake, I had to be careful. Beneath it I wore a skimpy lace bra with no concealing padding. If my body reacted to him, he would know it with one glance. Apparently, my subconscious had already decided on where I wanted this to go when I chose what to wear. Any remaining resistance I might have had melted the moment I laid eyes on a hot guy cooking for me.
“So why did the three packs leave Iceland for Montana?” I asked, needing a distraction to keep me from jumping him right there in the outdoor kitchen. If we were going to do this, I had to do it slow and right.
He set the spatula down and picked up his glass of pop. “What makes anyone leave their homeland? Religious oppression.”
“Really? Not angry mobs with torches?” I grinned, though I was only half kidding.
Such ignorance wouldn’t surprise me. Ty gave a little, humorless laugh.
“Nope, though that often goes hand in hand with religious oppression.”
He winked at me, making me want to climb over that barbeque and sample some hot meat. Oh, man, I really was losing it. Fear flashed through me. How did they kill varúlfur who went mad? Hanging, burning, drowning? They couldn’t exactly electrocute me. Yep, that line of thought helped cool my desire. But too late.
Eyes sparkling from probably smelling my arousal—damn varúlfur senses—he went on. “Christianity came to Iceland around 1300 and we were seen as heathens, pagans who were an embarrassment to the rulers who once relied on us to fight their battles,” he said.
“That’s sad. Hmm, the packs have been here that long?”
“Not quite. They held out for about three hundred years before finally leaving in the 1600s.”
“Why Montana?”
Soaking in the scents of pine, hemlock, grass, and water, I thought maybe I knew.
Wood ground against stone pavers as Ty pulled out a stool and sat across the bar from me. “You can feel it. Our kind need the forest. It is good for our souls. But really, it is the isolation we have to have.”
I sighed. “People destroy what they don’t understand.”
“Yes, especially if it is more powerful than them.”
Even if they kept to the forests, I didn’t see how varúlfur had stayed hidden for so long. “Are there many more of our kind in other parts of the world?”
His eyes softened. The hint of a smile hid in the tug of his lips. The look was part joy, part relief, and sexy in a vulnerable way that made parts of me tighten. Whatever I had said to please him, I wanted to say it again.
“We are all over, though there are fewer of us now than there has ever been. Like I said, we need forests.”
For the first time since we’d come back outside, my eyes moved from Ty to the nearby forest. “That’s so sad.”
Silence fell heavy between us, broken only by the sizzle of fat hitting hot coals. I began to feel bad for putting a damper on such a nice night. I didn’t know if what I had to say next would make it better or worse, but it had to be said. “Look, Ty, about what happened at the lake…” My voice trailed off as he went rigid.
He waved a hand and pasted on a badly faked smile. “Do not worry, we will figure the lightning thing out. I am sure there is an explanation in the archives.”
When it looked like he was going to say more, I reached over and grabbed his hand. “I don’t mean the lightning, Ty, I mean us. I know you want to do right by the Council, or kennari code, or whatever it is that makes you keep your distance. And I get that. But I also think maybe there’s something between us, something good. I want to let you know, I’m willing to wait until the verða is over, if that’s what it takes.”
Somewhere in the middle of my breathless ramble, his gaze locked onto mine and didn’t let go. The depth of emotion in his blue eyes staggered me. “Gods know, I do not want to wait another second to be with you. But, yes, that is exactly what we must do. We are worth the wait, you are worth the wait,” he said.
Knowing there might be a future for us sent a thrill through me so powerful that it tried to stir my wolf. Out of necessity, I let go and stepped back. A few deep breaths helped me regain control. I looked around the stone patio where the barbeque and bar sat, then up to the back deck.
“Do you have a sound system out here?” I asked.
He nodded and pointed out a few speakers that looked like landscaping rocks.
“Mind if I grab my music?” I asked.
His eyes lit up and he sat a bit straighter on his stool. “Go ahead, that sounds great.”
I stood. “Not worried about my taste in music?”
The easy grin that came to his lips heated my blood. “You have great taste in music. Which reminds me, you should hear Kaleo, they are a new Icelandic group that sings bluesy music. I think you would like them.” His words heated it even more.
I loved that he had thought about this enough to recommend an artist to me. Not to mention, I loved finding new artists to get into. I returned his smile and started down the path that wound through the side yard of the house. When Raul got in my Jeep that fateful night he had hated my music, said it was too ancient. The one time I rode in that sleek sports car of his, he’d been playing gangster rap music. To each his own, I guess, but it was really nice to know Ty could appreciate blues. There was something about a man who liked blues music that really did it for me. I hated that I was comparing Ty to Raul, not because Raul couldn’t stand up to him in any way, but because of what I feared it meant. It had to stop. Years had passed since I’d been a college freshman prone to swooning and I wasn’t about to return to that. Hot for teacher I might be, but I was an adult. I would do this right, so if it did develop into something more, it had a chance of succeeding.
The smile remained on my face even as I left Ty’s sight. On one hand, I didn’t like what that might mean, on the other, it was nice to be happy for once. Even if it that small measure of happiness was derived from something as simple as good company at a backyard barbeque. I hadn’t relaxed and hung out with someone like this since early on in college, and it felt good. Sure, we were chatting about werewolf politics and immigration, but hey, I would take what happiness I could get.
The sweet, almost cloying scent of roses drifted to me as I came around the front of the house. No rose bushes grew here. With my heightened sense of smell I would have located any on the property by now. My steps slowed as I breathed deep through my nose. I didn’t smell anyone but Ty and my own lingering scent around the place. Still, icy dread raised bumps along the exposed skin of my arms and legs. Tucked under the driver’s side windshield wiper of my Jeep was a bouquet of red roses. Surely Ty wouldn’t have left me such a thing, not red at least. Not yet. That left only one other person. Teeth clenched, I stormed up to the vehicle and tore the bouquet from it. Nestled inside all the red buds was a five-inch-long white box, and a card.
My shaking fingers took a few tries to open the velvet-covered box. On a bed of satin sat a bracelet of gold X’s and O’s. Diamonds—half a carat each at least—dotted the O’s. At over eight of them, I couldn’t even imagine what the thing must have cost. The tiny hope that this was from Ty dashed away like spilled salt. He would never choose something so ostentatious and impersonal. To some a beautiful bracelet like this probably had deep meaning, but not to Raul and me. Quite the opposite, if anything. We had never professed any feelings for each other besides attraction, which made this a mockery of what should have been. I opened the card.
Dear Sonya,
You’re in my thoughts every day. I hate that I’m not the one there with you, helping you through this. Please be careful of Ty. Don’t trust him. He’s an outcast, and among our kind there is no greater shame than being cast from your pack. He wasn’t willing to stand up and take charge, make things change. I promise, once this is over and we’re back together I will give you everything you have ever desired. Until then, I hope you’ll accept this bracelet as a symbol of my dedication to you. When I see you again you’ll be getting a ring to go along with it.
Love,
Raul
The chill on my skin turned into a slow burn that started to build until it felt as though I was boiling from within. My hand crushed the card into a tight ball and a scream blew between my clenched teeth. The box snapped, popped, and shattered, falling through my fingers in pieces of plastic, velvet and satin. Diamonds cut into my palm and expensive gold bent to the shape of my fingers. My strength surprised me on some sub-level that existed below my rage. I dropped the card and bracelet and tore the roses into tiny bits of red petals, thorns, and green stems. Through a haze of moisture I refused to acknowledge as tears, I saw Ty running around the corner of the house at what seemed like light speed. I couldn’t look at him, didn’t want him to see me so out of control. Gaze falling to my hands, I realized it wasn’t just the diamonds that had cut me. Claws grew out from where my fingernails had been, wicked sharp and dripping my own blood. Inside my mouth my tongue brushed across my fangs. And that wasn’t all—colors were changing as well, scents growing impossibly stronger. My body started shaking.
“Ty, help,” I cried in a voice that was more growl than anything.
“Oh no, Sonya.”
He grabbed my hands. I could barely see him through the dark haze of my rage. Then I was in his arms, pressed against his chest. I think he was telling me to breathe, to think of the reasons, but I could barely breathe let alone think of anything. He tilted my chin up and pressed his lips to mine in a hot line that scorched down deep inside of me. Gently, his lips urged mine open and his tongue slid between my fangs, inside my mouth. The amazing sensation of his tongue tangling with mine obliterated my rage like a tsunami taking out everything in its path. The hard lines of his incredible body pressed against mine swept me away from the brink and safely back into control. Of my anger at least.
My hands snaked around his back, and I couldn’t stop them. No, I wouldn’t stop them. I’d had it with resisting my attraction to him. This felt too good, too right. Our tongues thrust in and out of each other’s mouths as if we could lap each other up. His full lips devoured me as much as mine tried to devour him. The heat coursing through my body changed, became desire. The desire grew and grew until it felt like it was trying to consume us both. Moaning into his mouth, I rubbed my hard nipples against his chest and pressed my stomach to his erection. Our desire felt hot enough to burn our clothes away. I wished with all my being that it would.
Tongue withdrawing, he pulled back before I did, leaving me gasping and wanting so much more.
“Sorry. I did not mean to take liberties, but I did not know what else to do to bring you back from the edge,” he said as he turned away.
Staring down at my fingernails that only moments ago had been claws, I stammered out a reply. “It’s all right. I…I needed that. I mean, I couldn’t have gotten it back under control alone.” Had he not felt the desire as strongly as I did?
Though he remained close, he no longer touched me and I kind of hated that. At the same time, I knew if he did, I would risk losing control of another emotion.
“You have been doing so well. I did not think even something like this could rattle you,” he said.
Gravel ground under his bare feet and I realized he was retrieving the bracelet and card. Amazed that I didn’t feel any pain, I turned my hands over to look at my palms. The cuts had already healed.
“He’s trying to buy my affection now. That’s something I can’t stand. My father did that crap when I was a kid, sent me gifts from prison as if that could make up for him not being there.”
I really hadn’t meant to say that.
“Gods, Sonya, I am so sorry. I will get the son of a bitch that left this,” Ty snapped as he turned away.
I snagged his arm, stopping him with a strength that surprised me. “Please don’t leave me alone.” More words that I hadn’t meant to say. Damn but my control was really off today.
Jaw opening, I prepared to take the words back, but I couldn’t. I was afraid to be left alone right now. “What if that’s what they want? To lure you away from me,” I said so softly only a varúlfur’s sensitive hearing would pick it up.
The fear that shook my voice made me feel weak, pathetic, and that began to stir my anger back up. It must have shown on my face because Ty nodded and took a step back toward me. His hand found mine and locked around it. My anger melted away beneath the heat of his ice-blue eyes. The protective look in them stunned me.
“Sometimes you make me wonder who the teacher here is, Sonya,” he said through the barest hint of a smile.
I made an attempt to smile back. “Thanks, I think.”
Still holding onto my hand, he started for the side yard. “Come on. Let’s get our steaks and go watch that movie.”
Gripping his hand tighter, I nodded and ground rose petals beneath my shoe. Despite my lingering anger, I thrilled at the feeling of Ty’s big hand wrapped around mine. I was still determined to enjoy this evening. But the kiss made me believe what we had could really be worth something. As much as I wanted to fall into bed with him, taking it slow so I didn’t screw this up and get myself killed was too important. All Raul’s warnings and talk about not trusting Ty made me realize he was afraid I would get too close to him. It almost made me smile when I realized his insecurities had brought about the very thing he feared. Served him right.