NINETEEN – ASH
I can’t stop smiling. I fear Nash thinks I must have lost my mind, but I can’t help it, I am happy. I may be in danger, but I am coming off the best night and morning I have had in years. I am running from monsters, but I ran into an angel. I have so much to be afraid of, but all I have to do is think of Gregory’s embrace and those fears seem to slip away.
I know I am still at risk. The Ridders could find me anytime but for once, I am not wracked with stress. I even have hope it will all end well.
I left my family because I did not want to put them at risk for harboring me, or risk them hating me after they found out. Better they thought I ran away than tell them the truth. Now that I am older, I realize how cowardly that was. It was not fair for me to make that choice for my parents and it resulted in them losing both of their daughters so close together. After this is all over, I will fly home and see them. I will tell them the whole truth and maybe they will forgive me.
I wonder if Gregory would go with me. I feel stronger when he is around and confronting my parents will take all the strength I can muster.
One thing is for sure, where I ran when I was younger, I won’t run anymore. Being with Gregory feels natural and it is time I try to have a normal life. I don’t need to be on the run my whole life and the only way out of that is to settle down. I want it so bad, I am willing to give me and Gregory a real shot.
We could be happy. Living our human lives during the day, then flying together at night. I might never feel the sun on my wings again, but I would gladly give that up for a chance of normalcy.
After I left his room this morning, I rushed back to Nash’s. Thankfully, the walk back helped me burn some tension off. I quickly changed out of my travel wear then headed down to grab something to eat and find Nash. I figured walking into the main room would be the easiest way to accomplish both. He saw me as soon as I walked in the main door then as soon as I was behind the bar, he wrapped me in a tight hug. As he let me go, he said, “You didn’t have to run away. No one else is going to hurt you lass.”
“I know. I was scared though and running is what I do.” At least the story Gregory told Nash was close enough to the truth, I’d hate to have to lie to him any more than necessary.
“I am sure glad Gregory bumped into you and convinced you to come back.”
“So am I. I think this is where I am supposed to be.”
We talked for a little while longer and he was trying to be as comforting as possible. I appreciated it, but I finally stopped him when my hunger got too large. I hadn’t had anything real to eat, except my small road rations since yesterday. When I told Nash that, he hurried off to make me something special. That is how I ended up sitting at the bar, eating a delicious curried soup and smiling to myself.
Everything feels like it has changed. I am doing the same things I have been doing since I got into the Cliffden, but now I view it differently. I will still keep an ear out for news, but I won’t let what I hear send me in a mad rush out of town. I liked my clan and I was very close to a few of them, but it would be fruitless to go searching for them with how things are. I would be more likely to find a Ridder than any survivor.
I love working at Nash’s and I am starting to become a part of the community, so I am going to enjoy it.
I am just finishing eating and Nash walks back up to me. “All done? How are you feeling?”
“I’m great. Ready to get to work and do something normal.”
“I am relieved to hear that, it was busy last night, tonight is going to be worse.”
I stand up to take my bowl to the kitchen, “Good, that means it will fly by.” Once in, I give it a quick wash, so it’ll be ready for use later, then I remember the water skin. I need to bring that back downstairs and return it back to Nash. I run upstairs to grab it and quickly make myself back to the main room. I was going to apologize, but Nash was busy taking the order of a couple tables. There are three men sitting at the bar who hadn’t been served yet. Two of them I know and am happy to see. I approach them and placed the water skin on its shelf, on my way.
“Hi Den, Hi Stann, how are you both doing today?”
“Oh, hi Ash,” Den said, “Not too good. Ted brought news that my cousin was murdered.”
“Oh god, I am so sorry. Did they catch the guy who did it?”
“It was a girl, actually. And no, she got away.”
“Well, I hope she is found soon and justice is done.”
Stann jumped in, “That fucking shifter is going to suffer when we find her.” My breath catches and I start to panic. I must remain calm. He could have been murdered by any female shifter, this doesn’t mean it was me.
“Stann, calm down. Scaring Ash isn’t going to do any good, especially after all she went through yesterday.” He looks at me, “We were sorry to hear about that, but grateful Gregory and Grant found you in time to stop those men.”
“I am too. It was a terrifying experience.” I smile at Stann, “I understand your anger, I feel that way right now too.” I feel the need to dig more, I need to know if they are looking for me. I am freaking out though, I don’t know if I can keep my cool if I discover it is.
Trying to be brave, I turn to Ted, “I sympathize with your loss, it’s a shame that is what brought you to town, but now you can at least spend some quality time with family. Were the roads safe?”
“Yes,” was all Ted said. It was uncomfortably silent for a second, when Den spoke up, “He doesn’t speak much, Ash.”
“That’s okay,” I am going to ask why I have been dying to know, “where did he travel from?
“From Naven, it took him a little over three weeks to get here.” Oh shit. It probably was me. I feel my whole body flush and I know I need to get away from them as soon as possible.
“Wow, that’s a long way. Ted, you are probably exhausted?” No response again, I can’t tell if he is being standoffish because he recognizes me, or not. “Uhm, can I get you guys something to drink?”
“Three pints please,” Den said.
“Food?”
“What is it tonight?”
“Curried soup, I just had some and it was amazing.”
“We will take some then.”
“Be right up.” I leave them, first making my way to the keg to fill up their pints. I need to act natural, not give them any reason to suspect me. I can barely hear them, but I am straining to get more of their conversation. I hear Ted ask Den, “How long has she been working here, she wasn’t here last time I was in town?” I didn’t hear Den’s response, he was facing the wrong direction but I know exactly what he said, three weeks ago. I force myself to keep my eyes focused on filling the pints, lest I look up and give myself away. I am completely distracted, I don't notice the door opening and someone approaching me at the bar.
I have all three filled and I grab them to deliver when a hand reaches out and grasps my arm. It startles me so suddenly that I drop one of the pints. “Shit, I scared you.” It’s Gregory’s voice.
I look up, “Yeah, you did. Don’t move, you will only spread the mess, I am going to clean it up.” I deposit the other two pints to the men then quickly mop up the mess. I fill the third pint, then look up at Gregory’s eyes and fill mine with as much terror as I can muster. He starts to say something, but I give me head a quick shake, telling him to not speak.
I deposit the final drink and head to the kitchen in the act of filling the dinner order, but in reality, to get the hell out of that room. I hope he follows me. The second the door closes behind me, I start hyperventilating and that is how Gregory finds me, collapsed in on myself struggling to breathe.
He sits down next to me and pulls me into his lap. Doing his best to comfort and calm me, he asks, “What is going on?”
“They found me,” is all I manage to choke out. He stiffens and starts to rise. I reach out an arm to stop him, “Wait. I need to explain.” I start to catch my breath, just having him close makes me stronger. I pull him back down and snuggle into him. “I can’t be sure if they suspect me, so I must stay as normal as possible. I need to find out if Ted knows more about who he is looking for. Hell, I can’t even be sure if it is me, but it’s too much of a coincidence to disregard.”
“What do you know, love?”
“Ted just arrived in town to tell Den that a shifter murdered his cousin. Both him and Stann are very upset, I imagine they were all close.”
“But that could have been anyone?”
“It could have been but it happened a little over three weeks ago in Naven. It was done by a female shifter.”
“Shit. That sounds like you.” If he came to the same instant conclusion, then I am not overreacting.
“I know. I have to go back out there.”
“Like hell you are!”
“Yes. I am. If I don’t it will be like lighting a giant beacon at myself. I must act like I have nothing to hide. Hopefully, that will keep them off my trail and then Ted will be on his way.”
“I don’t like it, I don’t want you anywhere near him.”
“It will be busy enough, I won’t have to be.” I get up and start getting their dinners ready. “I’ve been in here long enough, I need to run these out.”
I pause at the door, “Will you stay, I don’t think I can handle it out there without you?”
“I won’t let you out of my sight.” With that, I stood up straight then headed out, ready to try and act past all my fears.