Chapter Nine – Elizabeth

“I can’t believe we only have two more days until the wedding,” Suzie said, her voice high with a mixture of excitement and apprehension.

“You have everything under control,” Elizabeth said soothingly. “I’m sorry I haven’t been more help.”

“Don’t be silly. You’ve done so much.” Suzie looked at her mom sideways. “I mean it. You helped with the menus, the cake design, invitations… I honestly could not have done this without you.”

“Thanks, Suzie.”

“You don’t sound convinced,” Suzie told her mom. “But I do mean it. Just because you didn’t visit the stores with me, doesn’t mean you haven’t helped. These decisions have been some of the hardest in my life. With Kit so busy at the hospital, having you to talk them over with has made it easier. And I can’t even tell you how thrilled I am about the makeover of Karen’s garden. It’s so beautiful, and makes the wedding seem so much more personal.”

“I’m going to let you win this one.” Elizabeth concentrated on the road ahead.

“That’s because you know I’m right.” Suzie burst out laughing.

Elizabeth laughed out loud. Her heart was feeling light, as if she were floating on a cloud. Today was going to be a good day. A really good day.

She turned down the street where Bear Brides was located. The store had been expanded and extended into the building next to it, making Bear Brides the go-to store for everything wedding. There was also a wedding planner, Olivia, who worked closely with Bear Brides and was happy to recommend businesses she had worked with and trusted. Everything from caterers to cars.

Parking her car in front of the store, Elizabeth leaned forward to look at the bridal display in the window. The dresses were all beautiful. She could never imagine wearing a dress like that. Elizabeth looked down at her clothes. Denim jeans and a loose shirt, that was what she wore most days. She’d never really thought a dress suited her.

However, Elizabeth had picked out a dress for Suzie’s wedding: it was plain, in a pastel color. She had tried it on several times since she’d bought it, and was getting used to the way the fabric swished around her calves. Maybe, given time, she might work up the courage to wear one of those dresses in the window for her own wedding. Then again, maybe not. Keep it plain and simple.

However, deep down, Elizabeth wished she had the confidence to throw herself into dressing up, and standing out. And she did not mean in a Halloween costume.

Elizabeth and Suzie got out of the car and headed for the store. Pushing the door open they were greeted by warm smiles. “Hi, Elizabeth. And Suzie, our beautiful bride,” Alli, the owner of Bear Brides, greeted them.

“We have all the dresses ready.” Melanie came from the room at the back of the store, where the fitting rooms were situated. “Why don’t you come through and try your dress on, Suzie? The others should be here soon.”

“OK.” Suzie followed Melanie. “Come on, Mom.”

“Yes, come through.” Melanie beckoned to Elizabeth.

“This way, Mom, time to play dress-up.” Suzie kissed her mom’s cheek and took her hand. “Come on, we’re taking over the changing area at the back.

“Since all the other ladies are trying on dresses, I also figured it might be fun for you to try on some dresses while we’re waiting.” Melanie waved her hand at an array of dresses. “Since wedding bells might be in the near future for you too.”

“How do you know?” Elizabeth asked. She’d become relaxed around the ladies of Bear Brides, but now felt self-conscious, as if everyone had been talking about her behind her back.

“Fiona called earlier to say she wouldn’t be bringing Samuel today. She let it slip.” Melanie smiled encouragingly. “Please, I love this part of my job.”

“Oh, no, I don’t want to be any trouble.” News certainly traveled fast around Bear Creek.

Suzie faced Elizabeth. “Go on, Mom. For me.” Suzie gave her a look she never could resist. And there really was no reason she shouldn’t try on the dress. Just this once.

“We’re not even engaged.” That was her own argument against seeing what the dress looked like on her. But Melanie shot that argument straight down.

“So? You’re Dean’s mate, that is more of a lifetime deal than engagement rings and weddings. He doesn’t get to change his mind, because you and he are perfect together.”

“Perfect,” Elizabeth repeated and blushed.

“Oh my goodness. That tells me it was more than perfect.” Suzie’s voice filled with excitement, and she flung her arms around Elizabeth. “I want you to be as happy as I am, Mom. I truly do, you deserve it.”

“Thanks.” Elizabeth hugged her daughter tightly. “OK,” she sniffed, “Let’s take a look at these dresses.”

Elizabeth wasn’t used to so much attention, but Suzie and Melanie were determined to find the perfect dress for her.

“We’re here for you, Suzie. Not me,” Elizabeth had to remind them.

“This takes my mind off things,” Suzie told her mom. “So let me have some fun.”

“This one.” Melanie held up a stunning ivory dress triumphantly.

“Yes!” Suzie exclaimed.

“Oh, that is just too pretty,” Elizabeth said as Melanie brought the dress to her. The bodice was decorated with small beads in the shape of flowers, with off the shoulder sleeves, and a skirt that flowed down to the floor

“Try it on. For me.” Suzie took it from Melanie and pushed her mom toward the changing room.

“I can’t wear it.” But Elizabeth’s words were ignored.

“Try it on anyway. Melanie doesn’t mind, and I’d like to see you in it.” Suzie stood with her arms folded, looking like the stern parent. “Please. Just this once.”

“OK.” Elizabeth knew when she was beaten, but secretly, she wanted to try the dress on; it was like playing dress-up, something she had rarely done as a child.

Elizabeth shut herself in the changing room, and without looking at her reflection in the mirror, stepped into the dress and pulled it up over her curvy thighs. With a wiggle and a little maneuvering, she soon had the dress on.

“Suzie, would you help me with the fastenings?” Elizabeth called quietly.

“Sure, Mom.” Suzie slipped into the cubicle beside her, and caught Elizabeth's reflection in the mirror. “Wow.”

Elizabeth dared to take a look and had to agree, the dress was a wow. “It’s beautiful.” She slid her hands down the skirt, which hung perfectly. The beaded bodice fitted her perfectly too once Suzie had buttoned up the back of the dress.

“The dress isn’t the only beautiful thing I can see. Come out, let’s have a proper look at it.” Suzie coaxed her mom out into an area that had so many mirrors, she could see herself from every angle.

Elizabeth walked around, swishing the skirt, and feeling like a princess. Why not enjoy dress-up? But she would need something more formal when…if…she married Dean.

“Here, these shoes will go with the dress.” Melanie placed a pair of ivory shoes in her size.

Glancing at Suzie, who looked teary-eyed, Elizabeth stepped into the shoes. They were higher than she usually wore, but she had to agree they were just right and made her look taller, and a little slimmer.

“You look gorgeous.” Suzie took out her phone and snapped a picture.

“Oh, Suzie, you know I hate photos.” But Elizabeth could not help smiling as she looked at herself in the mirrors. Maybe when she got married, she could wear a dress like this. Before today, she’d thought she would be happy marrying Dean in a plain dress with no guests. Now she wasn’t so sure.

“Daydreamer,” Suzie said coming to stand next to her mom.

“There’s nothing wrong with dreams.”

“No, there is not.” Suzie kissed her mom’s cheek. “I want you to remember that, you taught me the same thing when I was growing up. Now you have to remember it applies equally to you.”

Elizabeth stared at herself for a few moments. “I never thought I would find happiness. Not with a man.” She placed her hand on Suzie’s arm. “You always made me happy, of course. But…” Her voice faltered.

“Everyone else let you down, so you never let anyone else in,” Suzie finished.

“Yes.” Elizabeth sniffed loudly. “But not anymore.” She nodded thoughtfully. “I just need to find the strength.”

“Mom, you were always the strongest person I know. You can have it all.” Suzie stepped back and smiled. “And I’m never too old for a brother or sister.”

Elizabeth spun around. “I’m too old.”

“No, you are not. Women have babies into their forties these days.”

Elizabeth turned away from Suzie, staring at herself in the mirror. Did Dean expect them to have children? There was no doubt he loved kids. Just as Elizabeth had loved having Suzie. There was nothing to compare with watching a child grow and develop. She had poured all her love and pride into her daughter because Suzie was all she had. But what was it like to bring up a child with another person? Sharing responsibility, compromising on ideals. Did she really want to do it all over again?

The sound of voices entering the store made her look up. “I’ll go and get changed.”

Elizabeth went back to the changing room, not wanting anyone else to see her in the dress. Of course, she could not take it off; the fastenings needed an extra pair of hands.

“Have I upset you?” Suzie asked, poking her head inside.

“No.” Elizabeth put her face in her hands, but she was determined not to cry.

“Overwhelmed?” Suzie asked.

“Yes. This time yesterday I was single. Now I have a man in my life, who wants to marry me at the earliest convenience. And then the thought of children…”

“I’m sorry.” Suzie worked on the buttons and then helped Elizabeth step out of the dress.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I overreacted.” Elizabeth pulled on her jeans and sweater. “The dress is beautiful, but it’s not for me.”

“But you do like it?” Suzie asked, picking the shoes up, and laying the dress over her arm.

“I do.” Elizabeth straightened her hair, pulling it around her face. “But if I do marry Dean, I can just wear the dress I bought for your wedding.”

“Your choice. But you truly looked beautiful, Mom.” Suzie backed out of the changing room.

“Thanks, Suzie.”

“Fiona and the girls are here.” Suzie’s voice wavered, her nerves showing. “This really is it. It’s like a last dress rehearsal.”

“You’re ready. Now go and change into your dress, while I help with the others.” Elizabeth said confidently, even though she didn’t feel it. However, all through Suzie’s childhood years, it was only when her daughter was nervous, or felt threatened, that Elizabeth found the well of courage deep inside her.

That’s what had changed these last few years. Suzie had no longer been the catalyst that drove her forward, that made her deal with her emotions and fears. Once Suzie had become able to fight her own battles as a grown woman, Elizabeth had allowed herself to almost retire from the world.

But that could not happen. Not anymore.

“Hello, Elizabeth.” Fiona came to meet Elizabeth.

“Hi, Fiona, how are you?” They kissed on the cheek, while Fiona’s adopted daughters came and sat down.

“I’m fine. It’s nice to be free for five minutes. I never knew having a small child would be so intense.”

“And you love every minute of it,” Sapphi interjected from across the room, where she was checking her phone.

“I do.” Fiona smiled, her face softening. Elizabeth had always thought Fiona was a hard woman, bossy, not always able to empathize with other people, but that her heart was in the right place. Not that Elizabeth was an expert on Fiona. They had only met a couple of times before, so most of Elizabeth’s knowledge came from conversations with Suzie.

However, Elizabeth had to admit Fiona was a different woman now that she had a husband and a family to love and take care of.

“Where are we going to start?” Melanie asked.

“I’ll help Fiona, Sapphi, and Ruby,” Elizabeth offered.

“Sounds good,” Sapphi got up and put her phone in her purse. “Come on, Mom, let’s get you into your dress. Just think, after the wedding, you won’t be able to tell us you have never been a bridesmaid.”

“I can’t help it if I’m excited. When you are as old as me, there are not many things you haven’t done. And being a bridesmaid is one of them.” Fiona looked excited, and Elizabeth found herself making comparisons between her life and Fiona’s.

Being a dragon shifter, Fiona was older than Elizabeth by far, but that hadn’t stopped her from finding a mate, adopting two children, who now called her mom, and having a child of her own. All things were possible. With the love and support of others.

A lump formed in Elizabeth’s throat. She also had love and support. More than at any time in her life. Her days of struggling to prove she could be a good mother to Suzie had been her lowest, her loneliest, but she had somehow come full circle and would never be alone again.