Chapter Thirteen – Elizabeth

Yesterday had been incredible. Spending time with Dean, and his adorable bear… Elizabeth smiled. She was certain Dean’s bear would rather she called him strong, dependable, protective, but to her he truly was adorable.

Whatever she used to describe him would not encompass the way he’d soothed away her worries.

“You look happy,” Suzie said, coming into the kitchen where Elizabeth was making breakfast for the two of them. Kit had already left for the hospital to work his last shift before the wedding. He would be meeting them for dinner later, and then going to stay with his best man, and brother, Jacob, a ranger who lived up in the hills around the mountain.

“I am happy.” Elizabeth gave her daughter a genuine smile. “Really happy.”

Suzie gave Elizabeth a hug. “It shows on your face.”

Elizabeth tried not to feel self-conscious. “Dean is a wonderful man.”

“I told you he was.” Suzie sat down with a cup of tea, and Elizabeth pushed the plate of warm toast toward her. “I don’t think I can eat. Nerves are getting the best of me.”

“Which is why you need to eat. I’ve even brought your favorite spread.” Elizabeth produced a jar of chocolate spread.

“I have not had this for years.” Suzie popped the lid off and plunged a knife into the thick chocolaty goodness. “It’s too late to think of my figure.”

“We have a busy day, a few more calories are not going to make a difference.” Elizabeth buttered her own toast and ate it thoughtfully.

As she ate, Suzie flicked through a list of items. “Dean is going to meet us at Karen’s at ten. We can check everything, make sure it’s perfect for tomorrow. The flowers are arriving just after lunch. And the caterers are going to begin setting up ready for tomorrow.”

“Sounds as if you have it all under control.” Elizabeth watched her daughter’s face as she studied the lists she’d made. Suzie had always been organized and thorough, even at school, but this was different, this was more personal. The crease on Suzie’s brow made Elizabeth wonder how well she was coping. “Suzie, it is all under control.”

Elizabeth reached out for her daughter’s hand, and gave it a squeeze, once again feeling guilty she had not shouldered more of the burden.

“I know, Mom. I’m so nervous, though.” Suzie put her piece of toast down on her plate, and her face crumpled. “I want it to be perfect. I have it in my head that if today is perfect, then the rest of our married lives will be perfect too.”

“That’s not how life works,” Elizabeth told her gently.

“I know.” Suzie wiped her tears away. “I keep telling myself that. I keep telling myself I’m being stupid.”

Elizabeth left her chair and went around the table to hug Suzie. “You’re not stupid. Take it from a woman who thinks she’s wasted her life being a scared hermit.” She rested her head on Suzie’s shoulder. “I wish I could have been more of a role model for you. You forged your way ahead, despite me.”

“Not despite you. Because of you. I know how hard you tried. I saw it on your face every time you came to a watch me, whether it was sports, or graduation, you were there. I always searched for your face in the crowd, and I always found it. You never once let me down.”

“So let’s get through this day together. And then tomorrow you will marry that amazing man of yours, and start a new life. If the day goes wrong, you will still have an amazing man, who loves you more than anything, and you will still have your new life together. Nothing will change his love for you.” Elizabeth hugged Suzie so tightly. “Part of me wishes we could stay here like this forever, you will always be my little girl. Yet a bigger part of me knows now what you have with Kit will be even more special.”

“Mom…” Suzie hugged her mom close. “We’re both about to begin a new part of our lives, a different part. But I will always treasure my childhood.” She wiped away her tears. “It’s why I chose the job I did. I want every child to experience being happy, and being loved. You taught me it didn’t matter if you have one parent or two.”

Elizabeth wiped her own tears away and stood up. “Eat your toast, and then let’s go and enjoy today.” She pressed her hand to her cheek, determined that no matter what she did, she would not let her birthmark make her shy away from being the mom Suzie needed her to be.

“Thanks, Mom.” Suzie ate her toast, and then they both got ready to leave the house, with Suzie gathering up her lists into a folder. Then they took Elizabeth’s car, and headed over to Karen and Scott’s house. The weather was perfect, and the forecast looked as if tomorrow would be more of the same. Spring sunshine, with just the hint of a breeze.

Elizabeth parked outside Karen’s house, and they both got out. “It all looks perfect.”

In the last couple of days Karen had spruced up the outside of the house, and there were planters overflowing with spring blooms lining the driveway, along with wedding bunting and balloons, so that all the guests would know which house was hosting a wedding.

“Karen and Scott have worked so hard.” Suzie glanced at Elizabeth. “Just like you have.”

“I’m so happy you found a man who gets along well with his family. One misfit is enough.”

“You are not a misfit. But I’m glad we are not going to have to plan Christmas get-togethers, while taking family politics into account.”

“Christmas…” Elizabeth stood staring at the house in front of her, at the flowers and the ribbons tied to the trees out front. It symbolized everything that was changing in her life. As they walked through to the backyard, Elizabeth was struck by how the work she had done on the garden had transformed it, which in turn mirrored her own life.

“It will seem strange.” Suzie threaded her hand into Elizabeth’s. “You, me, and the Christmas tree, it’s all I can remember. Playing dolls and dress up, making Christmas lunch. Going for a walk around the local park after lunch.”

“You’ll make your own traditions, you and Kit.” Elizabeth stopped and turned to Suzie. “Before the day explodes into a hive of activity, I want to tell you how much I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom.” Suzie hugged Elizabeth tightly.

“Now, let’s get started.” Elizabeth stepped forward, confident and determined to see this through. Suzie deserved a special day, and she was going to have it. Elizabeth didn’t want any disasters to come along that might make Suzie question if a happy ever after was possible.

Just like Suzie, Elizabeth needed to believe it was possible. For everyone.

The sound of the back door opening signaled the start. Karen and Scott came out to meet them.

“I’m so excited, and so terribly nervous,” the usually calm Karen confided.

“Karen tossed and turned all night,” Scott added. “I told her everything is ready, but she’s still panicking.”

“It’ll all be fine.” Suzie sounded confident, casting off her own earlier fears to ensure they were not passed on to Karen. “We’ve got it all under control.”

“Good, then let’s have coffee and formulate a plan,” Scott said. “I have today off work to help out.”

“And here comes Dean too.” Karen waved. “Hi, Dean, we’re about to have coffee and make a plan.”

“Sounds as if I arrived just at the right time,” Dean said easily, as he walked up to Elizabeth and kissed her cheek. “Suzie, you look wonderful.” He hugged her close. “You are going to make the most beautiful bride.”

“Thanks, Dean, and thank you all for everything. And I apologize in advance if I get a bit teary today.” Suzie beamed a broad smile at Dean, but Elizabeth could see she was forcing it, her nerves were still there under the surface.

“You won’t be the only one,” Karen said, her expression changed to one of shock. “Not because we don’t want you as a daughter-in-law,” Karen added hurriedly. “We couldn’t be more happy that you are Kit’s mate.”

Scott rolled his eyes and hugged his wife. “Suzie knows that, you’ve told her enough times.”

Karen laughed, and punched Scott playfully in the stomach, while she swallowed down her tears. “We wish you and Kit all the happiness in the world, and all the babies you could possibly want.”

“Karen is looking forward to grandbabies,” Scott confided with a wink. “No pressure at all.”

Dean gave Elizabeth a look that made her insides turn to liquid fire. His hunger for her and their own children was a secret they shared, and it would stay that way. Until she got pregnant, she didn’t want anyone to know they were trying; she didn’t need that kind of well-intentioned pressure. Not when her age lowered the chances of Elizabeth conceiving and carrying a baby to full-term.

Those were tomorrow’s problems. If they were problems at all. Elizabeth needed to live in the present, and stop worrying about what might be.

“So we all have our tasks?” Suzie asked after they finished their coffee, and the delicious warm bagels Karen had laid out as a brunch.

“We do.” Karen picked up her list. “Scott can go to the store while I clean the kitchen.”

“Dean and I will do one final round of watering the garden and checking that all the plants look perfect. Then we can start setting out the chairs.” Elizabeth stood up, and Dean joined her at the back door. “Don’t stress, Suzie, go and make the phone calls you need to make. Then go and see Kit at work, have lunch with him, and relax. Leave it to us.”

“Thanks, Mom, thanks, Dean.” Suzie waved as they went out into the garden.

Elizabeth blew her a kiss and wagged her finger sternly. “No worrying.”

“Yes, Mom. No, Mom,” Suzie said with a genuine smile, her earlier nerves swept away as excitement took over.

“You are a changed woman,” Dean remarked as they went to fetch the hose to water the garden, and a wheelbarrow into which they could put any weeds or dead flowers.

“Am I?” Elizabeth asked, frowning.

“Yes. What happened to the woman I met in this garden only two days ago?”

Elizabeth pushed the wheelbarrow to the first flowerbed, and began to snip at any dead plant matter, while Dean pulled out any weeds that had dared to show themselves. “I don’t know. But I think it has to do with finding a man who accepts me.”

“And loves you,” Dean added.

Elizabeth paused, her body frozen. Even her breath caught in her chest, and her heart faltered. “You can’t love me, you don’t really know me,” she finally said.

“I know enough.” He stood up straight and looked at her earnestly. “I have lived a happy life, a full life, but these last two days have been the happiest for me. In a way I can’t explain. I know what love is, the love you share with children and friends, but this love is different, deeper, and it latches onto my soul and makes it want to soar over the mountain and beyond.”

Elizabeth simply stared at him. She had no doubt of the sincerity of his words. But she didn’t know if she felt the same. Yes, she liked being with Dean, she enjoyed his company, and any change he saw in her was down to him. But love?

She reeled at the thought. Suzie was the only person Elizabeth knew she loved. Loved with a deep profoundness she would not want to live without.

As she looked at Dean, watched the way his eyes caressed her face, oblivious of the birthmark she had lived in shame of, she knew that although not as deep, her need to have him in her life meant she did love him.

At some point over the last two crazy days, Elizabeth had fallen for this man who called her his mate, and she didn’t need to be a shifter to know she didn’t want to live without him.