Saeed paced the confines of his living room in an effort to burn off the nervous energy that coursed through him. It had been five hours since Rin had effectively dismissed him, leaving Cerys completely unprotected. The gods only knew where Gregor was. Cerys was formidable, but could she best a berserker in full battle rage?
The sun would be up in a couple of short hours and Saeed would effectively become a prisoner. He cursed that weakness he could do nothing about. He hated to feel helpless. Sunrise would create an uncrossable barrier between him and the only thing in this world that mattered to him. He swore, if Rin allowed any harm to come to Cerys, he would make the mage suffer for an eternity.
Saeed continued to pace. Back and forth, back and forth. The color of the sky outside his window began to lift from dark navy to gray as he made the rounds throughout his condo to shut the blinds and effectively seal out the coming sun. Saeed’s limbs grew heavy and his eyelids drooped as the lethargy of daytime sleep began to take hold. His brain buzzed with myriad voices, and Saeed pressed the heels of his palms over his ears as though to block out the alluring sound. How many mornings since his transition had he retreated into the Collective before sleep claimed him? Too damned many to count. Those memories, those voices didn’t interest him anymore. Saeed was through with the Collective. But apparently, it wasn’t through with him.
“Don’t make me do it.” Cerys’s pleading tone speared through Saeed’s chest like a stake.
Rin seemed unconcerned with her distress. He sat beside Saeed, or rather, the vampire whose memories Saeed had fallen into. Kneeling before them was a young male. Silent tears streamed down his cheeks but he remained otherwise emotionless.
“Forgive me Rin,” the male said. “Give me the opportunity to prove my loyalty.”
“There are no other opportunities. You know that.”
Saeed took in his surroundings. He couldn’t be sure but he guessed this event had taken place shortly before the Sortiari declared war on the vampires. The when and where were immaterial in comparison to Cerys. Dark circles hollowed her eyes. She was nearly gaunt, thinner than he’d ever seen her. Her usually almost iridescent skin had taken on a dull pallor and her expression was drawn. He’d never seen her so exhausted. So full of fear. So close to the many emotions she’d thought long gone.
She took a timid step toward Rin. “You’ve used me for too many days. Please, Rin. I need to rest. To replenish my strength.” Her voice dropped to the barest whisper. “When will it ever be enough?”
A cruel sneer curved to Rin’s lip. “It is enough when I say it is enough.” He spoke the words from between clenched teeth. “Do it.”
Cerys let out a ragged breath. “Once more,” she said more to herself than to Rin. “And then please, let me rest.”
If Rin heard her, he gave no outward show of it. Instead, he leaned in toward Saeed. “You think a vampire is the only creature that can banish a soul? Prepare to behold true power.”
Saeed tried to lunge forward. To reach for Cerys. The body he inhabited refused to obey and his frustration mounted. That sadistic son of a bitch used Cerys as though she were nothing more than a tool, without a single ounce of care for her well-being. What was wrong with her? What had she suffered to make her appear so ragged?
Cerys turned away from Rin and approached the male. Her brow pinched with regret. “I promise, you won’t feel a thing.”
Saeed swore his heart stopped beating and his breath stalled in his chest. His stomach tied into an unyielding knot as he waited against his will to bear witness to Cerys’s power. He’d never felt more like a slave himself than he did in this moment. Saeed fought the Collective’s hold but it held on to him with barbed claws that refused to let go. Like Cerys, he had no choice but to see this moment through to its end.
Almost lovingly, Cerys placed her right palm to the male’s chest. A soft pearlescent light shone beneath her fingertips and the male’s body gave a slight lurch forward as his back bowed, pressing his chest into Cerys’s touch. His head fell back on his shoulders and he let out a slow breath at the exact moment Cerys drew one in. She arched toward him as her head drooped forward. The light grew in its intensity, filling the room with an eerie glow that cast sinister shadows all around them. Cerys sucked in a sharp gasp as she gathered her hand into a tight fist, encasing the light in her grip.
“Give it to me.”
Cerys’s head dropped to her right and her shoulders slumped. She turned slowly and took several staggering steps toward Rin who waited eagerly, a jar clutched in his outstretched hand. Cerys turned her fist upside down and her fingers slowly opened to deposit the light of the male’s soul into the jar. She pulled her hand away and Rin quickly sealed it before placing it on the table in front of the vampire.
“At least when an enaid dwyn takes a soul, one knows where it has gone.”
Cerys’s eyes rolled back in her head as she collapsed to the cold stone floor.
Saeed let out an agonized shout that fell on deaf ears as he fought to free himself from the body that held him immobile. Rin looked on, barely affected by Cerys’s distress. She was nothing more than something to be used and tossed aside.
“Rinieri, what is wrong with her?” Saeed’s mouth moved without his permission as he spoke the dead vampire’s words.
“It takes a toll, that’s all.” Rin finally deigned it appropriate to stand from his chair and go to Cerys. Saeed wanted to rip him from her side and tear out his throat with his fangs. “Perhaps I have overused her the past fortnight.”
His disregard for her well-being was deplorable. She’d obviously suffered for centuries in a constant state of abuse before Rin had finally had the good sense to use her powers sparingly. He snapped his fingers, and from the dark corner of the room one of his servants appeared, head bowed.
“Take her to her chambers and put her to bed,” Rin instructed. “Do not leave her side until she wakes.”
The male scooped Cerys up in his arms and carried her out of the room. Saeed was desperate to follow, to make sure she was okay. “You seem a little too smug for my peace of mind, Rinieri. I won’t deny the fae’s power is staggering, but at least when I take a soul—” he cast a glance at the young male, shivering on the stone floor, his body in shock from what had been done to him “—it harms none.”
“None?” Incredulous laughter accompanied Rin’s question. “I might not have ever witnessed a dhampir’s transition to vampire, but I’ve heard it’s far from harmless.”
“Painful perhaps,” the vampire conceded. “But all transition brings with it a certain level of sacrifice. The decision is made freely by both the dhampir and his maker.” Saeed’s finger pointed out toward the floor. “That male’s soul was forcibly ripped from his body. Against his will. Your enaid dwyn pled with you for mercy. And you instructed her against her will to carry out the act.”
Rin’s jaw squared with anger and a fair amount of shock. He’d obviously expected to impress the vampire lord, not draw his disdain. Saeed found himself wishing the vampire had been angry enough to put an end to Rin. Of course, ridding the world of Rinieri de Rege wouldn’t have protected Cerys. The world was full of opportunistic sadists like Rin, like Gregor, who would abuse and exploit her for their own gain.
A moment of quiet tension passed before Rin’s thinned lips spread into a tight smile. “Sunrise is not far off, my Lord,” he said with a sneer. “I suggest you return to the safety of your coven.”
Saeed turned to leave and he urged the body he had no control over to stay. He couldn’t leave Cerys. Couldn’t abandon her to her fate. It didn’t matter that this moment in time had long since passed. For Saeed, it was now. The sound of the vampire’s footfalls echoed in his ears as he turned his back on Rin, on Cerys, and the poor male who’d yet to overcome the trauma done to him. The floor dropped out from under him and Saeed fell, tumbling helplessly into darkness.
* * *
Cerys stepped out of the elevator into Saeed’s foyer and rang the doorbell. The sun had just barely dipped beyond the horizon. It shouldn’t have taken him so long to let her in. She rang the bell again. Waited. Jammed her finger down on the button once more. Panic tightened her chest as adrenaline dumped into her system. Had he even made it back last night? Or had the berserkers found him somewhere on the Seattle streets?
She turned the doorknob to find it unlocked and let herself inside. A gasp of breath lodged itself in her chest as she raced into the living room and dropped to her knees beside Saeed’s seemingly lifeless body. “Saeed.” Cerys reached over him and gave him a solid shake. “Saeed!” Louder this time. Gods, how many more times would she find him like this? Unconscious. Unresponsive.
Saeed came awake with a start. His eyes went wide and he came up from the floor in a flash of motion, taking Cerys with him. Her back met the nearest wall with a jolt. Saeed’s firm grip on her upper arms was almost painful. A deep groove cut into his forehead as he searched her face.
“He’s killing you,” Saeed said with a snarl. “Isn’t he?”
Cerys had no idea if he was lucid or not. Did he even know who she was? She forced her body to relax. Softened her tone as she said, “It’s okay. Saeed…”
“Tell me!” His fingertips bit into her skin. “What does it do to you when Rin makes you take a soul?”
Welp, she guessed that answered her question as to whether or not he was lucid. “It-it’s complicated,” she stuttered.
Saeed’s grip on her relaxed. After a moment he let go completely but kept his body pressed close to hers. He reached up and cupped her face in his palm brushing the pad of his thumb along her cheekbone. His touch was so gentle in comparison to his previous grip. “It’s not complicated.” His voice hushed to a low murmur. “Tell me.”
A knot formed in Cerys’s throat and she tried to swallow it down. It shouldn’t be so hard to make the admission. After all, it wasn’t her fault. But it didn’t do anything to assuage her guilt at becoming a victim of Rin’s sadistic nature.
“Yes.” She replied so quietly she couldn’t even hear her own voice.
Saeed’s arms went around her and he crushed her against him. He held her as though he could protect her from all of the evils in the world. A sob built in her chest but she refused to let it out. She’d never felt as fragile as she did in this moment. So completely and utterly weak.
If Saeed was this distressed over learning the truth, she doubted tonight would be a cakewalk for either of them. Despite the threat of berserkers in the city, Rin was sending her out tonight to make a collection. Business was business, and apparently not even a band of deadly warlords would deter him.
“I’m going to kill him.” Saeed spoke the words close to her ear and his warm breath caused chills to break out over her skin. “I promise you.”
Cerys had been bound to Rin for so long that she couldn’t imagine an existence without him. She wanted him dead. Wanted her freedom like she did her next meal. Longed for the return of her soul like she longed for the male who held her now. And at the same time, she was afraid. Afraid of change. Afraid of the prospect of being in charge of her own fate, her own choices. Afraid to lose the only constant in her life. She’d always vowed that if anyone were going to kill Rin, it would be her. But, given the opportunity, would she allow it to happen? Could she run her dagger through Rin’s black heart? Would she allow Saeed to do it if she couldn’t? Or would she stay his hand and spare Rin even though he’d never shown her an ounce of mercy.
“Why were you on the floor?” Cerys couldn’t talk about her own situation. She needed her game to be tight tonight and Saeed’s concern was definitely messing with her head.
“I fell into the Collective.” Such a simple explanation for such a complex matter.
“Fell?” Cerys said with a gentle laugh. “From the looks of it, someone gave you a healthy shove.”
A sad smile curved Saeed’s full lips.
“You need to feed.” Saeed’s gaze wandered to her throat and Cerys’s heart kicked into full gear. She cleared her throat and kept her tone as level as possible. “I need you clearheaded tonight.”
Saeed’s brow furrowed. He leaned in close until not even inch of space separated them. “Why?”
It wouldn’t do any good to lie to him. He’d smell it on her in an instant and besides, he’d see it for himself later. Cerys bucked her chin up a notch and met his gaze. “Rin is sending me out to make a collection. He wants you to keep an eye on me.”
His expression darkened and his nostrils flared. It’s not like Cerys thought he’d be happy about tonight’s errand, but the least he could do was not treat her as though she had a choice in the matter.
“No.” The word was spoken with finality. “I forbid it.”
“You forbid it?” Cerys spluttered. Saeed wasn’t merely high-handed, he was absolutely out of his mind if he thought for a second he could simply lay down a mandate and she would obey it. “I don’t have a choice in the matter.”
“I’ve seen what it does to you.” Saeed’s voice was a controlled burn. “I will not let you do anything to further weaken yourself.”
“You’ve seen it? When? Where?”
“In the Collective,” Saeed replied. “You took the soul of a young male and afterward you collapsed to the floor.”
The gods-damned Collective. Cerys was beginning to hate the cache of vampire memories Saeed had access to. He was an unwelcome voyeur in moments of her life she’d just as soon forget. “That is a serious violation of my privacy,” she snapped. “And I don’t like it. How about trying to recognize some boundaries for a change instead of continually poking your nose into moments of my life where you don’t belong?”
Saeed’s lip pulled back to reveal the wicked sharp points of his fangs. “Between tethered mates, there should be no secrets.”
Again with the tether. “You don’t even know if it’s real!” Tears stung at her eyes and for the first time since she’d met him she felt more than simply a ghost of emotion.
“It’s as real as you are.” While Cerys couldn’t get a grip, it seemed Saeed was unflappable. His unflinching faith frustrated her. How could he believe so wholeheartedly in something he couldn’t even prove existed?
“Oh really?” Cerys didn’t know why she felt the urge to push Saeed’s buttons. Maybe it was because, despite his suspicions, Rin had refused to send him away. Or maybe it was because Cerys couldn’t trust her own mind or heart when he was near. “Tell me Saeed, do you have your soul back?”
He flinched as though stung. “You can try to push me away. But it won’t work.”
That he could see through her angry words enraged Cerys even more. She didn’t want there to be a connection between them for the simple reason that Rin would never let her go. She couldn’t stand by and watch Saeed live in a constant unfulfilled state while Rin continued to use her and deplete her to the point of death.
“Whatever.” It wouldn’t matter what she said or what she did. Saeed was too stubborn to quit now. He’d put his own life on the line in an attempt to retrieve Cerys’s soul. And if by some miracle he did managed to accomplish the feat, he would be destroyed when she failed to give him his soul in return. “None of this matters anyway. I have a job to do and not much time to get it done. Because of this berserker bullshit he’s bumped up my curfew to midnight. We need to get moving. Now. Because I’m not about to suffer his wrath if I don’t get the job done.”
Saeed took a tentative step back and Cerys shoved herself away from the wall. She pushed past him and headed out the door without so much as a glance backward. She knew he’d follow. Damn him. Since his arrival in the city Cerys had only wanted to protect him. From Rin, from her, from this ridiculous world they lived in. Every attempt to push him away only brought him closer. They were both doomed.