The fire in Saeed’s throat was quenched as the sweet ambrosia of Cerys’s blood flowed over his tongue. Her intoxicating scent invaded his nostrils, too visceral to be a cruel trick of the Collective. He tried to reach for her, to feel the satin glide of her skin against his, but he was still too weak to lift his arm. Too completely depleted of strength to even latch onto her wrist with his fangs. Even his throat refused to properly work. Every beat of Cerys’s heart sent a renewed rush of her blood over his tongue, nearly choking him. Had she cut herself to open the vein? If so, she’d cut dangerously deep. Through his bite, Saeed could control the flow. If he didn’t heal the wound soon, Cerys would bleed out and everything he’d done to get her to safety would be for nothing.
The lethargy that weighed down his limbs began to subside and Saeed reclaimed some measure of strength. He reached up and gently cradled her wrist in his hand, eliciting a soft gasp of surprise from Cerys as he sealed his lips over the wound and laved it gently with his tongue.
“No, Saeed.” Cerys’s pleading tone speared through his chest. “Don’t stop. You need more.”
Stubborn, foolish female. She’d needlessly kill herself in her attempt to save him when she needn’t do anything quite so rash. Saeed’s thirst was sated, and though his strength wasn’t completely replenished, it was a far cry from his previous unconscious state. He cleaned every drop of blood from Cerys’s wrist with lazy passes of his tongue as the cut healed. She shivered against him as the fingers of her right hand played idly with the strands of his hair. It almost felt wrong to experience such bliss in the wake of such trauma.
A warm rush of relief flooded his body as Saeed allowed his eyes to drift shut for an indulgent moment. His mouth pulled away from her wrist as his head settled back into her lap, but he kept her hand in his and allowed their fingers to intertwine.
“You need more,” she said again. “You’re still too weak.”
Saeed gave a low chuckle. “And you, on the other hand, are a picture of stalwart strength?” He’d been convinced she was dead. It was a miracle she’d had the strength to pull her body off the bed, let alone force-feed him her blood.
“I’m five by five,” Cerys said with a weak laugh. “I could take on an army of fifty angry fae. Just show me the way.”
“If I have anything to say or do about it, you won’t be stepping foot near dangerous situations of any kind for a good long while.”
Cerys didn’t laugh this time. Instead, she answered Saeed with solemn silence. “I wouldn’t have made it out of there without your help.” Saeed had to strain to hear the softly spoken words. “Thank you.”
Did she think he would’ve had it any other way? “Now that I’ve found you, I don’t plan to ever leave your side.”
Cerys released her grasp on his fingers. She hugged her arm around her middle as though trying to keep herself intact. “If Rin finds out what you mean to me,” she said on a hiccup of breath, “he’ll drive a stake through your heart and make me watch.”
Saeed’s chest grew tight as a surge of warmth spread through him. For so long, he’d longed to hear any favorable words from Cerys’s lips. Some indicator that she’d sensed a deeper connection between them. He wanted to shout his elation as well as his relief. He’d earned her trust, her admiration, and perhaps even some measure of affection.
“I’m not afraid of Rin.” The only thing Saeed truly feared was losing Cerys, and he’d come dangerously close tonight. “The only creature in this world with the power to harm me, is you.”
Saeed reached up to cup Cerys’s face in his other hand. Her brow furrowed as she studied him and her light eyes shone like starlight in the dark room. “Me?”
“You are the keeper of my soul. Qalb ta’ qalbi. Heart of my hearts. You could easily crush me without lifting a single finger.”
Cerys let out a slow breath that caressed Saeed’s face like a gentle breeze. “You should never let anyone have that sort of power over you, Saeed. Especially me.”
“Ah, but I give you that power freely. My soul is yours as yours is mine. And soon enough, our spirits will be united.”
“No pressure there.” Cerys gave a gentle laugh. “Don’t you ever worry that things won’t turn out like you planned?”
“I have faith.” Never once had Saeed doubted the inevitability of their fates.
Cerys looked away and her expression became pensive. Saeed pushed himself up to sit, still surprisingly a little lightheaded, and took her left hand in both of his. His thumb brushed over the now smooth skin of her wrist. “You cut yourself too deep,” he remarked. “You could have easily bled out.”
She looked up and met his gaze. “I was in a hurry. I didn’t have time to think about the depth of my blade. Besides … supernatural creature here. I might be weak and a little slower than usual, but I would have healed eventually.”
Saeed brought her wrist to his mouth and kissed her where her pulse thrummed in a gentle rhythm. He breathed deeply of her intoxicating scent and let out his breath in a slow sigh. “Eventually.” He let out a soft snort. So cavalier. “I thought you’d died.” The admission was harder to make than he thought it would be. The memory of his fear twisted Saeed’s gut and he forced the residual anxiety away. He reached up and threaded his fingers through her hair. Her beautiful, flame red hair that haunted his memories, his dreams, and his every waking minute. “I had no idea what to do. How to help you. I had no hope of reviving you. I bit into my wrist and gave you my blood.”
Cerys reached up and her fingertips brushed her bottom lip. “I was curious what I tasted when I woke up.” Her gaze searched Saeed’s and not for the first time he was taken aback by the unabashed wonder in her expression. “I’m not sure vampire blood is a cure-all. At least, not for my problem.” A gentle smile curved the bow of her lips. “But I appreciate the effort. It definitely gave me a nice little buzz.” Her humorous tone faded into silence. “No one’s ever done anything like that for me before.”
Icy dread bathed Saeed from head to toe. He’d been so hopeful, so damned optimistic that his blood had somehow helped her. That he’d been able to somehow fortify her strength and reverse the effects of this horrible thing Rin insisted on continuing to put her through.
“You can’t ever do that again.” It wasn’t a mandate that Saeed laid down this time. It was a plea. “You won’t survive the next time.”
“I know.” Those two words were spoken with a solemn finality that caused Saeed’s heart to race in his chest. “Rin will cut me some slack just like he always does. Until he comes across someone like Breanne again. Someone he can’t afford to lose.”
“It won’t happen again, because I won’t allow it.” Saeed wanted Cerys to hear the finality in his tone. “You won’t be under his thumb for much longer.”
“I wish it was that simple,” she said with a sad smile.
“It will be,” Saeed assured her. “Because I won’t accept it any other way.”
Cerys shivered. Saeed reached behind them and pulled the down comforter from the bed to wrap it around her shoulders. She appeared so slight, so fragile, encased within the nest of the fluffy down blanket. Her vibrant red hair framed her face in a wild tangle of untamed curls.
“You always wear your hair this way.” Saeed reached out to capture a curl between his fingers. “Why?”
Cerys shrugged. A blush painted her cheeks and she looked away for a nervous moment. “It bothers Rin.” She cringed as though she didn’t want Saeed to know the truth. “He’s so damned fastidious. A place for everything, and everything in its place. It drives him absolutely nuts to see my hair like this. So I wear it this way every single day to show him that there are pieces of me he will never own and can never control.”
Soon, nothing, no one would ever control Cerys again. Saeed would make sure of it.
* * *
“Do you think I’m petty?”
It mattered to her what Saeed thought. Honestly, she couldn’t figure out what he saw in her all. She was a bitter, snarky, emotionally disconnected train wreck with a binge eating problem. Not exactly things that had most guys swiping right.
“I think you’re a lot of things,” Saeed said. “Petty is not one of them.”
“Oh yeah?” Cerys looked away, unable to meet the intensity of his gaze. “Like what?”
Her heart pounded in her chest as she waited for Saeed’s answer. They’d only known each other for a few weeks and their time together had been tumultuous at best. He claimed to know her through the memories he’d witnessed, but was that enough? And could the soulless truly ever feel anything?
“You are remarkable. Strong, fierce, powerful. Soft. Delicate, fragile, beautiful. Your eyes are striking. Bright like starlight. Sometimes when you look at me, I find myself helpless to look away even when I try. When you’re near, I feel as though I can take a deep breath. You ground me.”
Tears welled in Cerys’s eyes and her chest constricted with emotion. Emotion she shouldn’t have been able to feel. Saeed’s presence in her life had brought with it a magic she’d never thought possible. Her soul was gone. She was empty. Void. And yet somehow, Saeed managed to make her feel full.
Being someone’s anchor didn’t equate to love, though. Rin needed her for her power. Saeed needed her for their supposed tether. She tried not to let bitterness leak in to drown out the warm, fuzzy sensation Saeed caused to bloom in her chest with his pretty words. But Cerys knew need. She understood need. What she craved was to be wanted. Not for what she could give to someone. She wanted to be a choice. Not a necessity. Or a convenience.
Saeed’s voice cut through the silence. Silver rimmed his gaze, creating a soft glow that accentuated his features and made him look even fiercer. “I wasn’t at first, but I’m grateful you were unable to tether me.”
Cerys studied his dark features. He was the most breathtaking male she’d ever laid eyes on. “Why?”
Saeed’s expression grew contemplative as though he searched for the perfect words. “I’ve never experienced it but through the Collective. But from what I’ve seen, it’s an immediate bond. It creates a certain level of attraction though it doesn’t create any sort of emotional connection. It’s…” Saeed rubbed at his forehead. “The tether takes away choice. It is absolute. Unbreakable. When I saw you in the Collective, I knew you were meant for me. When I walked into Crimson and saw you there, I waited for the return of my soul with anticipation unlike anything I’ve ever felt. When you failed to tether me, it nearly crushed me. But then I learned your history and what had happened to you and it all made sense. The tether didn’t force me to choose you, Cerys. It didn’t convince me of what I already knew. I chose you without the tether. I would still choose you even if you never returned my soul to me.”
Cerys hadn’t cried in thousands of years. Not a single fucking tear. And since the night she’d met Saeed, she’d felt their annoying sting at her eyes more times than she could count. She’d cried like a child at the thought of losing him as she’d forced her blood down his throat. And she cried now, for the sake of the warmth that bloomed in her chest as he said such wonderful, heartfelt things to her now.
It was like he’d looked deep inside of her and knew exactly what she needed to hear. She leaned in and kissed him once. Slow. When she pulled away, niggling doubt scratched at the back of her mind. Saeed seemed to not be bothered by the notion of never being tethered now. But what about later, when the absence of his soul began to wear on him? And it would. Cerys knew all too well the toll it would take on him. He reached up and brushed the tears from her cheeks. What if he never managed to steal her soul from Rin? What if he remained here, tied to her of his own free will, for centuries or longer only to realize he’d made a mistake? What if he grew to resent her? To hate her? Cerys had survived a gods-damned lot over the course of her existence, but she knew she would never survive Saeed’s hatred.
“You can’t know that.” She’d never felt so vulnerable. So very breakable as she did in this moment. “Your faith in the tether makes you think that you would choose me anyway.”
“No.” Saeed gave her a wan smile and a sad shake of his head. “It’s the way you make me feel, right now, without my soul intact that makes me believe without a doubt that I would choose you.”
“How do you feel?” Cerys whispered. She was fearful of the answer and yet, couldn’t stop herself from asking the question.
Saeed gave her a sly smile. “You make me feel like I’ve eaten the best meal of my entire life.”
Cerys’s chest constricted as though the air was being pushed from her lungs. Warmth suffused her and left her flushed and a little shaken. Saeed had so easily put his feelings into terms he knew Cerys would understand. She made him feel full. It was the most heartfelt thing anyone had ever said to her. He made her feel full, too. Full to bursting.
“That part of you that’s missing is nothing more than your spiritual essence, Cerys.” Saeed’s gaze searched hers as he cupped her face in his hands. “Rin didn’t take away who you are. He didn’t take away your ability to experience. To learn. To feel. The absence of your soul might have created a disconnect, but it never banished any of those things. You’ve gone too long in a state of numbness, and it’s time to reclaim what you’ve lost.”
Cerys came up on her knees and her arms went around Saeed’s broad shoulders as she put her mouth to his. There were no words to convey the way she felt in this moment. He’d given her a gift more valuable than all the gold in the world tonight. More precious than any gem. More immense than all of the power Rin so greedily tried to possess.
She would choose Saeed as well. No matter the situation, no matter the circumstances, there was no doubt in her mind that she would choose him. Always.