Sasha stared at Ewan. It seemed that since the day they’d met, he’d struck her speechless time and again. This was something different, though. It wasn’t his sinful good looks, or smoldering gaze. It wasn’t his harsh, demanding nature. Not his power and darkness or his masculine charisma. No, it was the sorrow in his tone that struck her this time. The story he’d told her that was different than the story she knew. The story that tied them together. That tied vampires and berserkers together as sure and tight as the tether that bound them now.
Her heart broke for him. For what he’d endured and what he’d been required to do. He’d agreed to kill to avenge those he’d lost. How could she blame him for that? Just tonight, she’d vowed to kill every demon that walked the earth in retaliation for what they’d done to him. And in return for his loyalty to his leader, his brethren, and the memories of those lost, he’d been enslaved and required for centuries to kill beyond the wrongs done to him.
“Don’t, Sasha.” His voice broke and the sound sliced through her like a blade. “I don’t deserve any gentle words from you.”
How could he possibly think that?
“You think you’re the only one with blood on his hands?” Sasha braced herself on an elbow so she could look into his face. “I’ve killed.”
“You defended yourself.” Ewan’s gruff voice vibrated through her. “There’s a difference.”
He could try to paint himself the villain all he wanted, it wouldn’t change her opinion of him. Sasha let out a rueful bark of laughter. “I know you don’t truly believe that. In times of war, no one is innocent.”
“You call it a war.” Ewan’s gaze darkened. He reached up and cupped Sasha’s cheek. “It was anything but a war.”
Sasha gave him a soft smile. “If what you say is true, then wasn’t it a vampire who struck the first blow? Wasn’t it a vampire who is guilty of being the aggressor? Wasn’t it Gregor who was provoked?” If Saeed or any other of her kind heard her words, she’d be considered a traitor. But weren’t there two sides to every story? Didn’t Ewan deserve the benefit of the doubt?
“There are only two souls left alive who know the entire truth.” Dark clouds gathered in Ewan’s eyes and in his ominous tone. “Ian Gregor and the dhampir who pronounced the death sentence.”
Sasha sat up a little straighter. “She’s alive?” If what Ewan said was true, then somewhere within the thirteen covens, hid the now grown female who’d started them all down this dark path.
“Gregor believes she is.” Ewan fiddled with her hair, suddenly lost in thought. “He searches for her, night after night. All of his machinations intended to lead him to her so he can capture her and make her suffer for her sins.”
Talk about a vendetta.
“And by our very existence, we are a part of that endeavor. He won’t stop.” Ewan sat up to drive his point home and gripped Sasha by the shoulders. “He won’t give this up until every last one of you is dead.”
Why did it have to be that way at all? Sasha had been alive to witness the carnage, the hate, the indiscriminate killing. She’d known fear and panic. But why couldn’t the past be left in the past where it belonged? Why did Gregor have to hold on so tightly to his hatred?
Because this wasn’t something passed down through generations. Supernatural creatures didn’t let go of the past because it was always with them. It molded and shaped them. Followed them through centuries of existence. They weren’t simply stories of hardship passed down through generations. Wounds were as fresh now as they were when first made. Long-lived creatures had the memories to match their physical endurance. Gregor would never forget. He would never forgive. Ewan was right. He wouldn’t stop until he had his vengeance.
“Where does this leave us?” Sasha had refused to believe there was ever an “us” to consider. She’d thought she could exist apart from the tether. Apart from Ewan. She’d been stupid to think she could keep herself away from him. There was no way they would ever escape their pasts, who they were, what they were, and how they fit into the grand scheme of that sadistic bitch, Fate’s plans.
Ewan leaned in and kissed her. Slowly. His full lips moved over hers and Sasha sighed into his mouth. “Gregor will never lay so much as a finger on you, Sasha,” Ewan murmured against her mouth. “I promise you that.”
His words were a fist that squeezed her heart. She didn’t want to love him. Didn’t want to open herself up to the possibility of being hurt again. But gods, how could she not love him? How could she not lose herself completely to this magnificent male who vowed to defy his family, his history, the very events that made him what he was, in order to keep her safe.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Sasha reached up to stroke her fingertips along the stubble that edged his jaw. Though hadn’t she tried to do the same for him tonight? She’d hunted the demons that harangued him, determined to end their miserable lives.
His tongue flicked out to trace the seam of her lips. “Believe me. It’s the only promise I would never dare to break.”
For a moment, Sasha allowed herself to become lost. To the moment. To him. To the sensation of their mouths meeting, their tongues sliding against one another. She lost herself to his scent. His taste. The strength of his embrace as he crushed her body against his. It was so easy to let the world and all of their problems fade into the background. So easy to let her world revolve around only him. Her arms wound around his neck and they collapsed back to the mattress. Sasha’s heart pounded. Her clit throbbed in time with her pulse and her thighs grew slick with renewed desire. She wrapped one leg around him and thrust her hips, letting out a low moan as the length of his erection slid between her swollen lips.
Ewan flipped her onto her back and spread her legs wide as he thrust home with a groan. Sasha gasped at the delicious intrusion, the intensity of being filled as his cock slid against her inner walls. She couldn’t form a coherent thought to save her life. There was so much between them that hadn’t been shared. So much they still needed to discuss. But for the life of her, Sasha could do nothing but feel.
“You are mine.” Ewan’s voice was a territorial growl in her ear. He thrust hard and deep to drive his point home. “Say it.”
“I’m yours,” Sasha replied on a breath. How could she possibly belong to anyone else? He’d owned her from that very first glance. “And you are mine.” She needed him to understand she wasn’t willing to share any more than he was. Ewan had tethered her soul. He was her mate. The bond was absolute and nothing but death could sever it. “Say it.”
“Yours,” Ewan agreed. “Above family. Above allegiances. Above all else.”
Emotion clogged Sasha’s throat as her back arched up from the mattress. His words were sacrosanct and she knew making such promises to each other would only hasten them to their inevitable ruin.
He fucked her with all of the intensity of his words. Every thrust sending her closer to the edge of her restraint. No other male had ever affected her in the way that Ewan did. With nothing more than a look, the deep tenor of his voice, a simple touch, he awakened her passion. Her body coiled tight moments before the orgasm exploded through her. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she threw her head back and cried out, each wracking sob matching the waves of sensation that rolled over her.
“That’s it, love.” Sasha shuddered as Ewan’s hot breath brushed her ear. “Give yourself over to it. Let it take you.”
“Come with me.” Sasha managed to form the words through the blinding pleasure. “Please.”
Ewan drove into her harder, faster, deeper. His jaw squared and the bright silvery gray of the oncoming dawn lent a strange otherworldly sheen to his golden eyes. The change was almost indiscernible but it was there. Like oil over water. Or the glow of the northern lights. His brow furrowed as though he’d come to some sort of realization and then he threw his head back and let out a roar.
“Sasha!”
The base of his cock pulsed against her pussy and Sasha was flooded with warmth. Her breath raced. Her heart pounded. Every inch of her trembled against him and she kept her grip on his shoulders as though he were the only thing anchoring her to earth.
Ewan pulled out slowly to the tip and slid back in just as agonizingly slow. Sasha swallowed a groan as he continued with his easy thrusts to bring himself down from the high. He rested the bulk of his weight on an elbow as he settled against her. The only sound in the room was that of their mingled breaths that became one. Exhaustion tugged at Sasha’s eyes, weighed down her limbs, and she cursed the coming sun. Hated that she had no choice but to succumb to sleep. Hated that it would separate her from Ewan until it retreated beneath the horizon once more.
She never wanted anything to come between them ever again.
* * *
Ewan had never felt so at peace. He listened to the sound of Sasha’s breaths and let it ground him. Focused on the way she felt beneath him. Soft. Warm. Yielding. He’d never known comfort like this could exist. And he’d found it in the arms of a sworn enemy.
So many years lost. So much energy wasted on unfounded hatred. On helping to further a cause he knew so little about. Believing a truth simply because he’d been told to do so. For months, he’d been trying to find a way out. Looking for an escape. For forgiveness. For absolution for so many fucking sins he’d lost count. When all along, his salvation had been right under his nose.
Sasha was his freedom. His absolution. His everything.
The gray dawn lightened in the confines of the bedroom, causing Ewan’s stomach to clench. He hated the sunrise like he never had before. Hated the way it took Sasha from him, the hours always more than he thought he could endure. He placed featherlight kisses to her forehead, her temple, across her cheek to her jaw. The corner of her mouth. And her luscious lips, so soft and pliant.
A tome of words sat at the tip of Ewan’s tongue. He wanted to tell her she was beautiful. Fierce. Loyal and smart. Strong and full of fire. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. Cherished her. Would never let anything happen to her. Would never let anyone come between them. So many gods-damned words. And he was too much of a fucking coward to say a single one.
The muffled sound of his cell brought Ewan out of his reverie. He knew the ringtone and didn’t move an inch despite what ignoring Gregor would mean. Sasha lifted her head and he rolled to his side, settling Sasha in against him. The ringing stopped and immediately started up again. Ewan swore it sounded angrier. Louder than it had just a moment ago.
“I think someone’s trying to get ahold of you.” Already Sasha’s voice was drowsy with sleep. Ewan held his breath and waited for the ringing to stop only to be assaulted by the offending sound again. Sasha let out a gentle laugh. “I think someone’s really trying to get a hold of you.”
“It’s Gregor.” There was no point in lying and besides, he didn’t want to. “No doubt summoning me to perform some ridiculous task.”
Sasha stroked a hand from his shoulder to his wrist and chills danced along Ewan’s skin. “You should go,” she said through a yawn. “He’ll be angry if you don’t.”
No doubt about that. And Ewan would surely receive the beating to go along with their so-called leader’s unreasonable impatience. “He’ll be angry no matter what I do,” Ewan replied. “The sun’s about to rise. I’m not going anywhere.”
“That’s why you should go.” She couldn’t put enough force behind the words for anything more than a whisper. “I’m just going to be here completely zonked out until sunset. You’ll be so bored. There’s no reason for you to stay.”
Zonked out. Ewan gave a humorless chuckle. Dead to the world was more like it. Defenseless. Helpless. At the mercy of anyone or anything that sought to do her harm. And in the past several weeks, the list of those who wanted to hurt her had grown. “That’s exactly why I’m staying. You need someone to look after you while you’re helpless and at the sun’s mercy. To protect you until the sun sets.”
She peppered his chest with light kisses that made his heart pound and his breath hitch. “I’m not so helpless anymore. My mate’s blood makes me strong. You don’t have to worry about me.”
The affection in her words stabbed through him. Mate. How Ewan loved the way that word sounded coming from her sweet lips. “If you think I would ever leave you unprotected, whether you’ve had my blood or not, you are in for quite the surprise.”
“So you agree?” Her tone became playful. “You’re my mate.”
“Aye, love.” It was the easiest thing Ewan had ever had to agree to. “I am your mate. And you are mine.”
“Mmmm. Yes.” Sasha stifled another yawn. “I am. Yours. You’re stuck with me, forever.”
Forever. The word ended on a sigh as Sasha’s breathing became deep and even. The windows were blacked out, but he didn’t need to see beyond the heavy blankets covering them to know the sun had crested the horizon. His cell began to ring again, insistent in its annoying tune. He eased Sasha from under his arm and left her to rest as he retrieved his phone from the pocket of his discarded jeans.
“Yeah.” It was the most cordial greeting he could muster.
“Where the fuck are you and why the fuck haven’t you been answering your phone?”
Ewan swallowed the “fuck you” response he wanted to give Gregor and instead took a deep cleansing breath. It would do him no good to pick a fight. At least, not yet. “Wasn’t safe to talk. What’s up?”
“I don’t care if Mikhail Aristov himself had a blade buried halfway through your throat,” Gregor growled through the receiver. “When I call, you answer.”
Asshole. Ewan stretched his neck from side to side to release some of the tension that pulled his muscles taut. “Roger that.” The last thing he needed was for Gregor to send out a search party to look for him. He needed to placate the son of a bitch and keep him calm. “I was with Sasha.” It was important for Gregor to believe Ewan’s loyalty still rested with him. “She trusts me. I’m sure it won’t be long before I know the location of every coven in the city.” The fact of the matter was, Ewan had no intention of giving Gregor a scrap of information on any of the covens. The warlord could beat him to a bloody fucking pulp and he wouldn’t get shit out of Ewan. He’d made his choices and soon enough, he’d face the consequences for those choices.
“Get back to the building. I had an interesting chat with Andrew just now. I thought I told you to stay out of that gods-damned fighting arena.”
Fuck. If Drew had talked, it was because Gregor had beaten it out of him. A surge of anger welled up inside of Ewan, so intense it tightened his skin over his frame. He’d tear Gregor’s head from his shoulders if Drew was in anything less than the condition Ewan had last seen him in. “I haven’t been fighting. Not for several days.” At least that much was true. He’d been too damn busy jumping through hoops for Gregor and dealing with a gang of bloodthirsty demons for anything else.
“Get back here,” Gregor snapped. “You’ve got an hour.”
The line went dead and Ewan squeezed his phone so tight the screen cracked. Fucking hell. That’s all he needed, was to spend what little money he had squirreled away on a new gods-damned phone. He glanced over the bed, at Sasha’s still body, and cursed under his breath. If he didn’t do as Gregor asked, Drew would pay the price. He couldn’t let that happen, no matter how much he wanted to stay here with her.
Ewan quickly dressed. His temper mounted with each passing second until the battle rage collected and pooled in his gut, churning like lava about to unleash its destruction. Indecision warred within him, his desire to protect the two most important individuals in his life playing tug-of-war with his mind and heart. Drew was family, but Sasha was so much more. She was his mate. His life. If he failed either one of them, he’d never rebound from the loss.
“Fuck.”
Ewan punched at the air and found it incredibly unsatisfying. He wanted to feel bones crunch beneath his fist, wanted to do the maximum damage. He’d die before he ever got the upper hand on Ian Gregor. Which was probably why the battle arenas had been so enticing. The perfect place to take out centuries’ worth of frustration.
He’d run out of time and choices. No one knew about this apartment, except for the vampire, Lucas. Sasha would be relatively safe here. Drew on the other hand, had nowhere to hide. He needed to face the music. Face Gregor. And pray to whatever gods might listen that he’d come out of all of this relatively unscathed.
Ewan finished dressing and crossed to the bed where Sasha slept, her back toward him. He placed a kiss to the top of her head and let his fingers slip through the silky strands of her hair. “Sasha, I have to go. But I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Gods, he hoped that through her deathlike sleep, she’d heard him. If not, Gregor wouldn’t be the only one he needed to explain himself to.
And somehow, he sensed Sasha would be even less forgiving than the infamous warlord.