“Is this some sort of contest to see which one of us is the most crazy-self destructive?”
Sasha rolled her eyes at Ani’s comment. Ani was wild, but hardly self-destructive. Sasha on the other hand…? Yeah, she definitely had some kind of mental defect. Or death wish. Or both.
She had to see him again.
“I’ll go by myself if I have to. Just tell me where tonight’s fights are going to be held.”
The battle arena moved from location to location so as not to draw undue attention. The supernatural world had its rules just like the mundane world did. Cage matches to the death for the sole purpose of making a little money was definitely frowned upon in both worlds.
“You got lucky last time, Sasha. I think it’s best not to tempt fate.”
Ani had that backward. Fate had definitely tempted her. “I’m not tempting anything.” That was the truth. The damage had already been done. The tether was irreversible. “Like I said, I don’t need a wingman. Just point me in the right direction and I’ll go alone.”
“What you need,” Ani began, “is a smack to the head to jar some sense into you. A berserker tethering a vampire is the worst omen I can think of. No good will come of it, Sasha. Be grateful your soul was returned to you and walk away. It’s the only option.”
Sasha knew Ani had her back but it wasn’t so simple. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to walk away. It was that she didn’t think she could. The tether connected her to the berserker. It drew her to him. Fighting it was like trying to stop the changing of the seasons.
“I can’t walk away. I don’t expect you to understand.”
“That’s a cop-out, Sasha and you know it.” For someone who’d been so eager to hear the gossip about her initial encounter with the berserker, Ani had sure changed her tune. “You’re inviting disaster. There’s no scenario in which this ends well other than you keeping your distance. If he doesn’t kill you tonight, it will only be a matter of time before a member of his clan gets the job done.”
Sasha couldn’t explain it, but instinct told her otherwise. He wouldn’t hurt her, and she didn’t think he’d let anyone else hurt her, either. Of course, Sasha was a pro at lying to herself. For years, she’d eaten her own spoon-fed lies as she’d made herself believe Saeed had felt something more than friendship for her. Maybe this was the same thing and that “instinct” she was listening to was nothing more than her own hopes telling lies her ravenous heart eagerly devoured.
“I’ll keep my distance.” It was a promise she actually didn’t think she could keep. “I need to satisfy my curiosity or it’s going to eat me alive.” That much, at least, was true. Her first thought upon waking to the sunset was of the ruggedly magnetic berserker. Dry heat scalded her throat and she swallowed as though to soothe the burn. It wouldn’t be long before her thirst got the better of her and she went out in search of the berserker whether or not Ani helped her to find him.
Ani’s expression turned wary. “First sign of trouble—we’re out of there.”
Sasha nodded. “Deal. Do you know where we’re going?”
She was answered with a rueful sigh. “Yeah. I do.”
Sasha knew her friend had been holding out on her. She wasn’t going to complain about it, though. The more time they could shave off, the better. “Okay, good. Let’s get out of here before Saeed pins me down for a talk.” She’d been avoiding her maker for weeks. She wasn’t interested in talking to Saeed about anything right now. Especially when her heart was still so raw and hurt from being cast aside.
“I’m ready whenever you are.” Ani was always ready to roll at a moment’s notice. Just one of the many things Sasha loved about her.
“Lead the way.” Sasha fell into step behind Ani and headed for the door. Behind her, she sensed a presence and her step faltered. Shit. Not fast enough, it seemed.
“Sasha.” Saeed’s deep, soothing voice drove through her chest like a spear. Since his return to the coven, she’d avoided him. Desperate to escape his piercing dark eyes and his beautiful, petite, red-haired mate who was nothing more than a reminder of Sasha’s own heartache. “Going out again?”
She owed him nothing, least of all an explanation. “I am.” She didn’t bother to turn and face him. Didn’t want to meet his gaze. “Don’t bother waiting up.”
Sasha forced one foot in front of the other as she followed Ani out the door. She wouldn’t give Saeed the satisfaction of seeing her undone. Not that he’d care. His soul was tethered and he had his mate. For that matter, so did Sasha. And she wasn’t going to waste another second in this house when she could be near him.
The drive to the Valley seemed to take hours. Impatience pulled Sasha’s muscles taut and her thirst raged at a nearly unbearable level. Not that she expected that to change anytime soon. She doubted she’d get close enough to the berserker to exchange two words with him, let alone sate her hunger. Tonight wasn’t about contact. She simply wanted to satisfy her curiosity. Get a glimpse of him and see if her reaction to him was as powerful as it had been upon her tethering. Maybe she’d get lucky and not feel even a tiny spark of interest. In which case, she could do as Ani suggested and walk away with her life and her soul intact.
“Man, this place is a real shithole.”
Ani pulled into the parking lot of an abandoned Kmart and killed the engine. Sasha got out of the car and made her way across the lot. The glass doors had been blacked out with paint and looked like the sort of place where last-minute raves popped up. It wasn’t the most elegant venue and definitely a step down from the last building the fights had been held in, but no one came for the ambiance.
Magic sparked the air, an indicator of the glamour cast over the building and parking lot to keep curious humans at bay. The faint sound of cacophonous cheers reached Sasha’s ears and she picked up her pace toward the doors. Who knew how long the fights had been going on? The berserker could have already been here and gone.
“Hey! Wait up!”
Sasha didn’t even realize she was running until Ani called out. She stopped dead in her tracks. Her heart pounded and her breath raced in her chest. Electricity raced through her veins and a spark of anticipation danced along her skin. She’d tried to play it cool. To act as though her curiosity over the berserker was superficial. Her own behavior betrayed her words. Gods, how pathetic. Over the past several months, she’d coached herself to be strong. To take no shit. To depend on no one. To have her own back because she knew no one else would. And one cruel, brooding male had undone all of that hard work with a look?
Bullshit.
Sasha refused to fall victim to her own bleeding heart ever again.
She felt Ani at her back but didn’t turn to face her. Instead, Sasha walked slowly—almost mechanically—toward the entrance of the building. A mantra ran through her head, one she’d be damned if she didn’t heed. Guard your heart. Feel nothing. Protect yourself.
“In a bit of a hurry, are you?” Ani’s sarcasm went ignored. “You promised you’d keep your distance, remember?”
“I remember. And I will. I just don’t want to miss any of the fights.”
Ani clucked her tongue. “Worried he’ll slip through your fingers?”
Something like that. Guard your heart. Feel nothing. Protect yourself. “No one’s slipping through anything.” Sasha refused to lose herself yet again to a male. “I just want to see what I’m up against.”
“Tethered to a berserker.” Ani’s disbelieving tone echoed Sasha’s feelings exactly. “You sure took keeping your enemies close to an extreme.”
Heh. She supposed she did.
Sasha took several cleansing breaths. It was stupid to get so worked up over someone she didn’t know. The butterflies that swirled in her stomach were an unwelcome reminder of how soft her heart could be and the damage that softness could cause. She was here to sate her curiosity and nothing more. She couldn’t afford for it to be anything more.
In and out. That was the plan.
As the crowd roared once again, Sasha reached for the door handle. She hoped her stupid heart wouldn’t do anything tonight to derail her mind.
Guard your heart. Feel nothing. Protect yourself.
* * *
Ewan’s gaze roamed the crowd for any sign of Sasha. He’d hoped she’d be here. Front and center. Her dark, expressive eyes trained on him, her full lips slightly parted with awe. Oh, it was a grandiose image to paint. One that made Ewan aware of his own ego. A thrill rushed through him but it wasn’t the impending fight that excited him. It was the prospect of seeing her again. Feeling her wet, silken flesh glide against his. The fight was nothing more than a pretense to get him here. Front and center with all eyes on him.
“We’re never coming back to this place.” Ewan cast a sidelong glance at Drew. “What? It’s a dump. They have the fighters queued up like fucking cattle. You deserve more respect than this.”
Arrogance was definitely a trait common to all berserkers. They demanded respect. Commanded fear. Ewan didn’t give a shit about being treated like a king, however. He’d let those delusions of grandeur fall to Gregor and the others. Impatience was his only complaint at the moment. Impatience for the fight. Impatience to see her. Impatience for what might happen in the next couple of hours. Gods. Ewan couldn’t remember a time when he’d been so damned antsy and on edge. He wanted something—anything—to happen before he crawled right out of his own gods-damned skin.
The blacked-out doors opened, bringing with it a waft of air. Ewan inhaled deeply the scent of warm cinnamon and held it in his lungs before letting out a slow breath. His gaze went to the entrance where the object of his obsession stood shoulder-to-shoulder with the same female she’d been with two nights ago. Her mahogany hair cascaded over her shoulders and her dark eyes scanned the room. The intensity of her expression sent an electric thrill chasing through his veins.
“Ewan.”
Drew’s voice barely registered. His attention didn’t stray from her as she wound through the crowd of onlookers. Closer. Closer …
“Ewan!” Drew gave him a hearty shove. “You’re up.”
Fuck. The timing could’ve been better. Focus was near to impossible when his thoughts were all over the place and his head was so full of her heady cinnamon scent. His keen senses weren’t doing him any favors right now. Not when he could pick out her scent among thousands and see every detail of her expression in a sea of faces.
“Are you afraid, berserker?” Ewan looked up to find his opponent already in the cage. “Come on, tonight’s as good a night as any to die!”
As if the werewolf even stood a chance. The full moon was a couple weeks off, which meant he wouldn’t be at full strength. He couldn’t take on his animal form, which meant he’d heal much slower from any damage he sustained. The scale was so tilted to one side, Ewan almost felt bad for agreeing to step into the cage with him in the first place.
Someone was going to die tonight, but it wouldn’t be Ewan.
The werewolf was obviously mouthy and interested in providing the crowd with a good show. Ewan could at least give him that. He’d ended his last fight too quickly in his preoccupation with the vampire. He couldn’t lose sight of why he was here. This was about making money. Period. A bored and restless crowd did nothing to line his pockets.
Ewan might not have wanted to keep the vampire waiting, but neither could he risk the possibility of not being invited back into the arena to fight. If he didn’t provide the necessary entertainment, there’d be no use for him. Ewan couldn’t have that. Sasha had to have known he’d be here tonight, which meant she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He could afford to dedicate his attention to the werewolf and appease the bloodlust of the crowd.
He’d put on a show and then some.
Ewan crossed his arms over his torso and stripped his T-shirt from his body. The simple act sent the crowd into a frenzy as he stepped up to the webbed silver cage and stepped inside. Berserkers had few vulnerabilities. Most supernatural creatures couldn’t tolerate silver but it didn’t affect Ewan in the slightest. The magic woven within the silver webs was a different story, however.
Berserkers were magic sensitive in that its very presence was sometimes enough to agitate them. While beheading was the most effective way to put a berserker down, magic could get the job done, too, if wielded by an adept. Not many—if anyone—outside of their ranks knew that little tidbit. Always best to keep potential enemies guessing. Never reveal the chinks in your armor. Don’t give your adversaries ammunition against you. Always strong. Always determined. One mind, one goal, one clan. Gregor had pounded those values into their heads for as long as Ewan could remember.
His obsession with the vampire was bound to land him in deep shit with Gregor. And the male didn’t tolerate betrayal. Too late to do anything about it now, he supposed.
The door to the cage closed behind him and Ewan rotated his hands and examined the silver cuffs that circled each wrist. They didn’t offer any support, but the spikes that protruded from each cuff would aggravate the hell out of his opponent. He stretched his neck from side to side, rolled his shoulders. Shifted his weight from one foot to the other and forced his mind to focus on the task at hand and not the scent that filled his head as though she were the only other being in the building.
“Not much of a talker, are you, berserker?” Ewan couldn’t help but wonder if the werewolf’s strategy was to talk him to death. “Do berserkers even know how to speak? Or do you communicate with grunts and growls like the animals you are?”
Ewan rolled his eyes. He’d heard it all before. Hopefully the werewolf was a better fighter than he was an insult slinger. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be much he could do to prolong the fight.
Ewan didn’t bother to set the werewolf straight on his assumptions. Instead, he let out a low growl as he adopted a fighting stance. He wanted tonight’s fight to be a performance. For an audience of one.
The werewolf took a swing that Ewan dodged with ease. Power gathered within him as he sensed the battle rage rise from the pit of his stomach like a writhing, living thing. Ewan wanted to give in. To let it consume him completely and send him to that dark place where he checked out and couldn’t be held accountable for his actions. An effective warlord killed indiscriminately. The battle rage allowed him the freedom from memory or guilt. It let him do what had to be done.
Ewan swiped his arm upward and caught the werewolf in the face with one of the spikes of his silver cuff. The scent of burning flesh singed his nostrils as the silver scorched the werewolf’s cheek, opening a wide gash. Blood scented the air and a renewed sense of power surged through Ewan’s veins. The crowd went wild, chanting for more bloodshed, eager for death. The battle master stepped between Ewan and the werewolf, arms outstretched. There weren’t many rules in the arena, but the werewolf had tried to strike before Ewan had been afforded the opportunity to choose his weapon.
All the interruption served to accomplish was to ignite Ewan’s temper and impatience.
“Will you take a weapon for this bout, berserker?” The battle master’s voice echoed with the spark of magic and the crowd fell silent. “And one free shot against your opponent.”
The crowd erupted into shouts and cheers once again. Ewan’s breath heaved in his chest as the battle master faced him and presented the case full of weapons.
“Get out of my way and let me fight.” Ewan forced the words from between clenched teeth. “I don’t need any of that to kill him.”
If the atmosphere had been full of excited anticipation before, it was positively electric now. Ewan’s arrogance, his defiance and hostility, his sheer aggression sent the crowd into a frenzy. The werewolf was weak. It wasn’t even close to a fair fight.
“Let them fight! Let them fight!” Angry voices called out from the groups of onlookers, as eager as Ewan to get on with it.
Ewan leveled his gaze on the battle master and held his attention. “I’ll fight as I am. Now, get out of the way unless you want to die as well.”
The battle master took a quick step back and exited the ring without another word. Rowdy cheers echoed in Ewan’s ears, his opponent’s lip curled back in a determined snarl. His own focus became laser sharp and he tuned out everything around him.
Everything but the vampire who stood at the edge of the ring, watching him in just the way he hoped she would.