DESPITE MY resolution to flee custody in the hospital, it wasn’t quite so easy to come up with a plan. My body ached from the exertion of releasing the sunbird and the burns that covered my shoulders made it difficult to move.

In the end, I’d been lucky. The gasoline had flashed over most of my skin as the flames had left me, providing a layer of protection. I had first-degree burns across most of my body, which ached and itched but wouldn’t cause lasting damage. In a few places, mostly where I’d landed when I’d fallen, the burns were deeper but the doctors seemed to think there would be minimal scarring, and I was healing well—with the exception of the “infection” causing my temperature to spike out of control. It hurt my head to concentrate for any length of time, and I was only barely able to breathe unassisted.

By the end of the day, all I’d been able to do was catalog the difficulties I’d face. In order to leave, I had to get my body to respond quickly enough to flee. I’d need to remove not only the wires and tubes, which beeped and hissed in rhythm with my body, but also the handcuffs that shackled my right hand to the side of the hospital bed, and finally, evade at least two police officers that I’d learned were stationed outside my door. There was also every possibility that at least one of my guards was an associate of the Rain. It was an almost impossible task, but staying would be infinitely worse.

Realizing that my best chance of leaving would be to take advantage of the darkness, I decided to run that night. Every time a nurse or doctor came on their rounds, I pretended to sleep but paid close attention to their actions. I tried to glean as much information about where I was in the hospital, and the hospital layout, as I could from the snippets of the conversations that I could hear.

As soon as I deemed the time was right, I ripped a piece of material from the bottom of my hospital gown. Then I forced all of my remaining strength into my fingertips, desperate to get enough heat to bend the handcuffs so that I could break free. I concentrated hard, ignoring the pains in my head and the agony of the heat rushing across the still recovering skin of my shoulders.

Breathing deeply, I pushed all of my energy into generating the heat and pressed my left hand over the handcuffs holding me to the bed. Instantly, the heat in the metal bit into my skin. My teeth sunk into my lower lip in an effort to stop myself from crying out. The heart monitor picked up its pace, the slow steady beep building to an almost constant screech. It wouldn’t be long before that set off alarms at some nurses’ station, if it hadn’t already.

I had to work quickly.

The metal twisted under the heat of my hand, but the intensity of my focus quickly drained all of my energy. Just when I thought the cuff was almost off, the heat in my hand dissipated. Redoubling my efforts, I twisted my fingers around the heated metal, doing the best I could to ignore the screaming agony of my wrist where the hot steel pressed against my flesh. With my teeth buried so deeply in my bottom lip that I was drawing blood, I yanked at the metal as I pulled at my right arm, slowly working the twisted mess over my hand.

As soon as I’d managed to pull my hand free, I set about ripping the wires and medical paraphernalia off of my body. I pulled at the tube that the nurses had said was feeding me. As it shifted, an uncomfortable sensation built in the back of my throat. With each tug, I gagged and retched. My throat ached and my nose burned; the sickening smell of plastic and vomit twisted my stomach.

My unsteady limbs were difficult to control. It left me unable to move as fast as I would’ve liked. My wrist throbbed harder as the burned skin protested the continued use of my hand. I grabbed the now shrieking heart monitor and, with shaky legs, walked to the window. On the other side of the glass, there was a small ledge that would have been just wide enough for me to climb onto in order to make my way around the building. The escape path seemed almost too easy, and my instincts insisted I avoid it.

Time seemed to stand still for a moment as I took a step backward and hurled the heart monitor through the glass. The moment it was free of my hold, I dropped the scrap of material I’d ripped from my gown near the shattered window.

The sound would no doubt draw the attention of the guards outside, if the heart monitor alarm hadn’t already alerted everyone nearby.

I dove in the other direction, scrambling for the bathroom. Ignoring the protests from my aching wrist and still recovering body, I dropped to my knees when the door to my hospital room opened. I slid through the bathroom door and hid behind it.

Taking a moment to catch my breath, I waited.

The smashed window and scrap of material would only fool the guards for a moment. There was no way I could have escaped through the window and disappeared from sight so quickly.

While I waited, I scanned the area for anything I could use as a weapon.

“She’s not out there,” a voice called. “Search the room.”

Barely a minute had passed since I’d smashed the window and although I still wasn’t steady on my feet, there was only one way I could possibly escape. Waiting until I could see the shadow of a guard stretching across on the bathroom floor, I fisted my hands in the shower curtain.

I kicked open the door in front of me. When it swing wildly at the guard, I charged. My fingers held tight to the shower curtain, ripping it off its rail as I went. I wrapped the two ends of the plastic around his head and torso before forcing heat into my hands to fuse the plastic.

Without waiting for him to fight back, I dropped my shoulder low and charged into the guard. My shoulder protested and I had to bite down to avoid screaming in agony. Thankfully, my move worked—forcing him backward and into the man behind him.

The sounds of people clamoring all around me rang in my ears and drowned out my ability to form a single thought. Keeping my head down, I ran for the door to the hallway.

The moment I hit the corridor, sturdy arms wrapped around my shoulders and held me in place. The pressure against the blisters on my shoulders made me cry out in agony.

The fire in me burned brighter until the man yelped and let go. I didn’t turn around or look back as I forced my dissenting body to move as fast as it could along the slippery floors of the hospital corridor. Reaching to the stairs, I said a silent thank you before forcing myself to rush down one flight.

The noise of people running up the stairs echoed from below. Not wanting to get caught without protection in the concrete and steel stairwell, I escaped into the second floor corridor.

An unsuspecting nurse, came out of a patient’s room and into my path. By the time I saw her, it was too late to avoid a collision. I smashed into her, sending us both sprawling on the floor.

Forcing myself to stand up first, I did something unspeakable.

Hating myself for even considering it an option, I grabbed her around the waist and clamped my hand over her mouth. The ravaged skin of my wrist rubbed against her cheek. Red stars burst to life behind my eyes, but I bit down on the scream that rose to my lips.

I led the nurse back into the room she’d just left before using my hip to close the door behind us. With a glance around the room, I ensured my actions hadn’t roused any suspicions. The last thing I needed was someone slamming their call button. Thankfully, it was a private room with only one sleeping patient.

Safe for the moment, I glanced at the hospital ID pinned to the nurse’s scrubs.

Nancy.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Nancy,” I whispered into her ear as she whimpered in my hold. “But I will if you make any sound. Understand?” The heat in my hands had to be enough to force her to take my words seriously. “I need another outfit.”

She let out another whimper. As a warning, I allowed a little more heat to seep into my fingers. If she cried out or refused to help me, I would have issues.

I hated using the sunbird’s power for my own benefit, but I couldn’t stay in the hospital. It was this or death. It would be the end of me, either by a Rain operative or Clay’s own hands. I squeezed my eyes shut as his name ran through my body, dragging with it a dreadful ache.

“I promise I won’t hurt you if you do as I ask. I just need to get out of here.”

She twisted her head to the side, forcing my wrist to rub against her cheek again.

For a moment the pain was so intense that a haze of red overtook all of my senses. The nurse used my momentary lapse to attempt an escape. I readjusted my position and pinned her against the wall with my left arm.

Clamping my hand back down over her mouth, I plead with her. “I know you won’t believe me, but I’m not a bad person. I just need to get out of here. My life depends on it. Will you help me?”

She shook her head.

I forced more warmth into my hands hoping I could straddle the fine line of heat; enough to make her listen without causing her any real or permanent harm.

She motioned that she wanted to say something.

“If you scream, I won’t hold back the heat any longer. You will burn. Do you understand?”

Wide-eyed and terrified, she nodded.

I slid my hand away from her mouth, pressing it against her throat instead. “Now what is it?”

“There’s a break-room down the hall,” she sobbed. “There are always spare scrubs in there.”

I shook my head. “Not good enough. I don’t have time to try to find it.” Her help had given me an idea though. “Give me yours.”

“W-what?” she stammered.

“Give me your scrubs. Now, Nancy!”

She peeled off her scrubs. I allowed her only enough freedom to step out of them. My legs shook as I waited for her to finish. I paid close attention to her every move. I would be ready if she screamed or tried to run.

Using my teeth, I tore a strip from my hospital gown and, after apologizing to Nancy, crumpled up the scrap of material and pressed it into her mouth as a gag. Then I tore another couple of strips off to tie around her hands and feet, apologizing again and again as I bound her.

After she was secure, I slipped her scrubs on over my body, trying to ignore the pain in my shoulders, before pulling her hair out of its bun. Using her hair tie, I pulled my hair into a ponytail, securing my locks up off my face. My aching wrist protested in earnest, so I took a moment while I could to run my hand under the cold water in the bathroom. I hissed as the stream rushed over the damaged skin, causing it to burn all over again.

While my hand cooled under the rushing water, I formulated a new plan for the final step in breaking free of the hospital. Turning off the tap, I grabbed the towel in the bathroom and pressed my fingers into it. It took longer than it ever had before to focus the energy in my body into generating the heat I needed. Eventually, the fibers of the towel began to twist against themselves, sending curls of smoke toward the ceiling.

Holding the smoking towel carefully, I moved toward the solitary smoke detector in the room. As soon as the alarm sounded, I threw the burning rag into the bathroom and manned the door. I was certain the Rain would follow the fire to find me if they were in the hospital, but it was a risk I had to take.

Peering out through the door, I caught an opportunity better than any I had hoped for. A group of student nurses, all gossiping excitedly about the strange happenings in the hospital, rushed by the door. As soon as the last one passed, I slid out of the room and fell into step behind them. I forced my aching body to cooperate and copied the movements of the young girls to seem as inconspicuous as possible.

A police officer was stationed at the stairwell, stopping everyone from passing by him. I tried not to panic or allow myself to meet his eye. The girls in front of me whispered about his physique and how attractive they thought he was in his uniform. I tried to pretend I was one of them and that my heart wasn’t about to leap from my chest.

“What’s happening?” asked the leader of the pack that I was in. Based on her slightly older appearance I figured she was the training facilitator.

“We’ve got an escaped prisoner on the loose, possibly even on this floor.”

“That’s dreadful. Is there anything we can do to help?”

The officer smiled reassuringly. “Just keep an eye out for suspicious behavior and report anything strange.”

“Will do, won’t we girls?” she asked the group who were enthusiastic in their agreement.

I breathed a sigh of relief as he waved us past, and I took my first steps toward freedom. While the other girls huddled in a small group, I raced on ahead, taking the stairs two at a time in my desperate desire to flee. Images of Clay and our life together flashed through my mind alongside pictures of his sister.

His dead sister.

I’d done that—I’d caused her death. Guilt burned through me; stabbing at my chest. I’d lost Clay’s love and the agony of it was almost enough to finish me. I couldn’t expect to be forgiven for it, couldn’t even imagine how I could ever redeem myself.

“If she doesn’t pull through, I’ll never forgive you.”

I sobbed as the memory struck me almost as hard as a physical blow and sent me staggering to the bottom of the flight of stairs. I’d forgiven him for my father’s death, but that was different. He might have taken on some of the blame of my father’s death, but he hadn’t pulled the trigger. There was no way to deny that I’d killed Louise. The fire was my doing. It might have been in self-defense, but it had happened because of what I was.

A freak.

Tears streamed down my face by the time I reached the bottom of the stairwell. When the cool air hit my wrist, a new fire burst to life with thousands of tiny flames burning deep into my scorched flesh. To silence the sobs and screams that lingered on my tongue, I bit into my bottom lip so hard I could taste blood.

Voices shouted behind me, demanding that I stop and show them my hospital ID, but I just pushed myself harder in response. Bile rose in my throat both because of my loss and because of the physical exertion I was forcing my body to take so soon after the latest round of damage I’d inflicted onto it.

I was damaged. I was fire. Everything I cared about in the world burned to flames on contact with me. I hated myself and loathed the sunbird. It was her fault that I had hurt everyone I loved.

I could still see the hospital behind me when my legs finally gave out. I fell to the ground with a heaving sob. Fisting my hands tightly, I pressed them into my eyes trying to assuage my tears and force myself to keep moving. I was broken. I was poison. But I would survive. After forcing myself to my feet one leg at a time, I made myself take one step and then another.

By the time I’d traveled far enough from the hospital to risk stopping, my body was at the brink of complete collapse.

My lungs protested every breath, and my stomach heaved relentlessly. The wound on my wrist was open and raw, an almost perfect circle of burned flesh. My shoulders still ached from the older wounds that were only slowly healing. Eventually, unable to go a step farther, I fell to the ground by the side of the road. As I huddled against the cold, I grew determined to learn how to survive better on my own. I’d gone from my relying on my father, to bouncing from shelter to shelter with Brian, to living with Aiden’s court, and then into Clay’s tender care. Now, as a result of my actions, all of those safe havens were lost to me, and I’d never been more alone. There was no one left that I could rely on—no one but myself.

There was nothing I wanted more than to find a way to make my father proud. Of all of the people I’d lost, he was the one who’d wanted most desperately to keep me safe. My life was his legacy and by giving up, I was ignoring the sacrifices he’d made for me. I couldn’t do that to him again. I’d come close enough in New York, and he deserved more than that. I would live; I would prosper. There were skills I could acquire to help me on my path, and I would learn every single one of them in his name. As the sun peeked over the distant city, I made a silent promise to Dad that I would do whatever it took to survive.

The last few times I was on my own, I had failed miserably to keep myself safe. I wouldn’t fail any longer. I had to be stronger. Almost in response to the thought, I lifted myself off of the ground and held my chin high.

It was like Clay had once said to me: “The rest of my life is stretching in front of me, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with it.” I smiled wistfully at the memory and at our youthful ignorance. We’d thought we could change the world with nothing more than our desire and willpower. Part of me wished that my future could have still included him, but it never could—not now that I’d killed his sister.

His twin.

Even as the hopelessness crossed my mind, the small, hopeful voice of the sunbird deep within whispered that someday, somehow, that might not matter anymore. That maybe he could see beyond his need for vengeance. Shaking off the hope—it was the last thing I needed if I was going to be stronger—I forced myself to move, to put one foot in front of the other, and prepared for the biggest challenge I’d ever had to face. Complete self-sufficiency—to learn to live on my own with no promise of rescue or reunion.

 

 

THE END