MY HEAD pounded ferociously and my back ached. A noxious smell invaded my nostrils and seemed to surround me completely. My skin was wet. A strange prickly burn coated me, bringing with it an unsettling coolness. Opening my eyes was useless. The darkness at the edges of my vision swallowed the light. It was painful to even try to distinguish anything beyond basic shapes. Wanting to rub away the ache that ran along my side and up into my shoulders, I tugged at my hands only to discover they’d been bound. I yanked harder, crying out as something tightened around my wrists and bit into my skin. My scream was muffled by something hard and sticky pressed against my mouth.

I forced my eyes open, trying to stretch what felt like too much skin around the sockets, and worked at focusing on the room around me.

The blurriness slowly faded. The light that followed burned its way into my mind. I tried to remember what had happened. All I could recall was lying in Clay’s arms in the morning and seeing him off on his job search. My mind refused to offer up anything that would explain the restraints around my arms or the throbbing at my temple.

As my sight sharpened, I discovered where I was. Tied to a chair, dressed in my T-shirt and underwear, but definitely still in our apartment. Scrawled over the wall in red paint was a symbol, the same graffiti I’d seen on the wall in front of our door. A semi-circle with a wide M—like a child’s crudely drawn bird—across it.

The memory of a flash of platinum hair reflected in our mirror rushed through me. Following that recollection almost immediately was the strike to my skull. It must have knocked me out.

Twisting my head as far as I could manage, I tried to locate my attacker.

“I see you’re finally awake.” Her voice dripped with hatred. The voice was unmistakable.

When I turned in the direction of the nasally voice, Louise’s face swam into view.

“For a monster, you’re pretty pathetic. I mean, you didn’t even put up a fight.”

I shook my head and tried to speak. I wanted to tell her that I wasn’t a monster, but it was useless. Even without the tape over my mouth gagging me, she would never have stopped her attack long enough to listen.

Yanking my hands again, I tried to free them from their binds.

“It’s no use,” Louise said. “I’m the best at tying ropes—Dad reminds me of that all the time. I learned the things I was supposed to, trained hard, and I use my skills the way they’re meant to be used. I’m not a disappointment like Clay.”

Pleading to her with my eyes, I tried to get her to stop what she was doing, but she just lifted her lip into a sneer. I yanked the cords one more time, only to have them bite tighter around my wrist. They were tight enough for my hands to lose all sensation.

Another course of action came to my mind and I wrapped my fingers around the rope, focusing heat into the tips and knuckles. It was difficult to concentrate on anything other than the throbbing in my head, but it might have been my only chance.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Do you think I don’t know all your little tricks? Don’t you realize I’ve dealt with your filth before? You’re not getting away again. I won’t assume you’re dead like Ethan did. I will wait until I’m standing over your corpse, and I will toast marshmallows on the fire that follows.”

I forced more heat into my hands knowing it wouldn’t take too much to burn through the rope.

“Are you stupid?” she asked, grabbing at my hands from behind. She leaned against me, her face suddenly appearing right beside mine. “I told you not to do that. Can’t you smell it?”

I inhaled deeply through my nose—the noxious scent still surrounded me. Something familiar about the odor danced through my mind, but it was too out of place to work out why.

Slowly, realization dawned on me as I recalled the smell from the years that I’d spent on the road with Dad, memories of gas stations and the scent of flammable fumes slowly seeping through the open window as he filled the car. My eyes widened when I identified the cause of the cold liquid that burned over my skin as gasoline.

“Now you’re getting it,” Louise sniggered. “There’s only one reason you’re still alive, and that’s because I want to save my brother before I kill you.”

How long had I been out? My concern grew over how far away Clay might be. Had he been captured too? Was he being held somewhere else, or was he being dragged back to his former life at that moment? I wanted him to walk through the front door and rescue me, but simultaneously, I hoped he was safe and far away.

“I’m going to give you one chance to release Clay from whatever spell you’ve put on him.”

Wriggling my arms desperately, I struggled to free my hands from their bindings again. I needed to get away, whatever it took.

“I have to admit that the ability to ensnare victims was something we’ve never encountered from your kind before, but we’re already editing the lore books. We’ll of course need to know how you did it.”

I dropped my chin to my chest in defeat as the things Clay had told me about his family and the Rain rolled through me. They were willing to change their beliefs as often as necessary, so long as you weren’t asking them to give mercy to anything that didn’t fit their specific definition of human. Whether they were wrong or not didn’t matter, because their single mission was to kill everything not human.

She stepped closer to me and ripped the tape off of my mouth with one hard pull. My whole body shook with the effort it was taking to keep myself calm and not allow the heat within to build.

“Tell me how you trapped my brother.”

“I didn’t,” I whispered. “He just loves me.”

She swung her arm and slapped my face hard enough to rattle my teeth. I bit on my tongue to stop myself from crying out—my pain would no doubt please her.

My cheek flamed with the outline of her hand. I longed for my hands to be free to rub it soothingly. The sunbird whispered soothing words to me, trying to force me relinquish control.

I couldn’t though.

If I did, both Louise and I would be dead.

“Don’t lie to me,” Louise screeched.

“I’m not.” I tried to infuse my voice with a peace that I didn’t feel. Taking a deep breath, I tried to cool myself down. My cheek still stung from the pain of the contact, and a fresh heat radiated from that spot to envelope the rest of my body.

“Please let me go,” I begged, unsure of how long I could keep control. My anger and fear were making my body go into overdrive. The hold I had over my ability faded more with every passing second. The sunbird struggled to the surface.

“Tell me what you’ve done to him!” she demanded.

“Please, I don’t want to hurt you. Just let me go.”

The fear that I could lose control and unintentionally ignite the gasoline that coated me, made my ability to hold myself together that much harder. Allowing the flames that were always so close to me to take over would be deadly.

She laughed darkly and moved quickly, pulling a knife out of a garter under her skirt and pressing the blade against my throat. “Don’t threaten me, you piece of filth.”

“It’s not a threat,” I tried to warn her. “I can’t . . .”

Before I even got the words out, before I could warn her that I couldn’t contain the dangerous parts of me, the pressure of the blade increasing against my throat was too much for my self-control.

My whole body tingled and ached. It was only a matter of time before I completely lost control and my body burned—just like it had in the back of the police car the first time they’d caught me. The gas Louise had poured over me only made the situation more uncontrollable.

“You need to leave. Now,” I warned her through gritted teeth, my voice ice and venom as my control began to slip. I was completely unable to repress the sunbird within me for even a moment more. It was the part of me that had no logic, just the need to protect and survive. It was the sunbird who haunted my dreams and sometimes made me worry that Clay’s family was right—that I was nothing more than a monster. Whenever the sunbird would take over, I would become nothing more than a passenger in my own body.

Louise pressed the tip of the knife harder until it bit into my skin, and a small trickle of blood dribbled down my throat. “You don’t scare—”

Her eyes widened at the precise moment a thousand tiny fires burst to life across my body. The ropes fell away almost instantly. Louise dropped the knife quickly as the heat transferring into the handle became unbearable. She brought her fingers to her mouth to try to soothe the burn and stepped away from me.

I stood seconds before the chair I’d been secured to was consumed by flames. The propellant around me fed the inferno; flames quickly ignited the liquid that had surrounded me.

In an instant, the room burned. It was too hot even for me. My body shuddered with pain. Unable to control my actions, I stumbled forward under the control of the sunbird. My entire being was under her control—I was unable to warn Louise to run.

Anything that happens now is her fault.

The thoughts in my head came from the darkest places within me, and I didn’t agree with them. I couldn’t force my voice to form the words that might save her though. I was nothing but a passenger in my own body.

Louise stumbled backward away from me as I took another step toward the door to escape. She fell. The flame that trailed along the carpet followed her path, as if it was alive. After pushing herself up onto her feet, she scrambled for the door. The fire licked at her heels with every step. I thought she might be free when she fell again. The fire was on her in an instant. Her screams echoed loudly around the enclosed space.

I wanted to help her, but I couldn’t. The fire tore over my skin, blistering and bubbling patches as it went. I didn’t know how much longer I could hold onto consciousness.

The pounding in my head, which had never really abated, grew in intensity. Everything around me throbbed in time to my heartbeat. I pushed through the control of the sunbird as the need to escape the apartment grew in intensity. The flames might have originated in my body, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t consume me as surely as they devoured everything else.

I stepped forward as fast as I could. Reaching the door after what felt like an eternity, I pushed against it again and again until it finally gave way.

Without the resistance of the door, I stumbled into a corridor filled with smoke and screams. My relief only lasted a second as the flames reached my legs and the pain sent me back into darkness.

 

 

LIGHT FLOODED IN.

Handcuffs secured around my right wrist chained me to a bed.

A hospital bed.

Every part of my body ached. Pins and needles raced over my skin, burning and stinging every inch. From past experience, I understood the sting would linger for a number of days because I’d allowed the sunbird to take full control over me. Despite the effort it took to concentrate on anything solid, I attempted to pushed the pain out of my mind and figure out exactly why I was in the hospital.

I tried to pull myself up into a seated position, but I couldn’t. Every attempt to move caused the pins and needles to twist into daggers and syringes. How much damage had I done to myself? I’d never lost control so absolutely before—even in the back of the police car the sunbird had only broken through to the surface for a few seconds. The gasoline Louise had added to the situation could only have made the damage worse.

Resigning myself to not being able to sit up, I dropped back to the bed and allowed the darkness to swallow me again.

 

 

MY MIND swam in and out of consciousness all day.

Each time I woke, the lingering burn on my skin amplified and spread over my body before seeping back into my bones. Each time, the agony intensified. Would it ever abate?

At times, I heard voices, sometimes nearby, sometimes in the distance. The more I tried to focus on the words, the harder they became to hear. Eventually, the one voice I wanted most to hear seeped into my consciousness. His words reached me louder and clearer than any other. It was as if my mind craved the knowledge he was okay so badly, it focused only on his voice.

“What did you do, Evie?” Clay asked.

I tried to answer him. My fingers twitched in response, but I couldn’t rouse any other part of my body.

The soft caress of his fingers on the side of my face gave me something to concentrate on. I focused on the sensation and tried to move my head toward his hand. The tiny attempt at movement was enough to exhaust me, and my mind closed over again until, minutes or hours later, Clay’s voice echoed in my mind again.

“How did this happen? All I know is there was a fire. Did you start it?”

The accusation in his words was clear. It stabbed at my heart and the wound was more painful than anything else I had experienced.

“I’ve spoken with her doctors and they don’t know if she will make it. They said that it’s touch and go.”

She.

Louise.

His sister.

I tried again to find my voice or reach for Clay, but all I could manage was to flex the fingers of my right hand for a fraction of a second.

His voice dropped to a whisper that seemed to echo in my ear, as if he was leaning over me and breathing words intended only for me.

“I don’t care why you did it, or what you think you were trying to do. What you’ve done is reprehensible.”

My heart broke that he wasn’t even interested in hearing my side of the story—not that I was in any fit state to tell it yet. My fingers twitched again as I fought against my unwilling body.

“If she doesn’t pull through, I . . .” He trailed off and when he started again, his voice dripped with hatred. Disdain hung from every syllable. “I’ll never forgive you.”

Silent whimpers and unshed tears filled my mind. I wanted to plead for forgiveness and tell him that I was sorry for whatever I’d done to Louise, but I couldn’t. My lips wouldn’t move; my body was frozen by the darkness that had encapsulated me. His anger and my guilt washed over me in a tidal wave of misery. It swept away every other thought, carrying away everything but the pain.

The passage of time seemed to halt and stutter. A second would last for hours at a time but then hundreds would flit by unnoticed. Eventually, I was awake more than I was asleep. My fingers moved when I told them to and my breaths were unassisted.

After discovering my eyes worked again, I squeezed my eyelids shut tight. What might I see if I looked down at my body? How many new scars and injuries did I bear?

I tipped my head back against the pillow as questions competed for attention in my mind.

What happened?

Where’s Louise? Is she . . . alive?

Where’s Clay? Has he left me for good?

My actions had initially been self-defense, but if Louise had perished in the fire I’d set, I couldn’t blame Clay for his hatred. The fact he was suffering at all because of my actions was enough to break my heart. I closed my eyes and let my sorrows take me away from the room and into a place where Clay led me in slow circles as we danced together in a room filled with fire.

 

 

VOICES SOUNDED nearby. I strained to listen to what they were saying. Opening one eye, I risked a glance around me. I was alone in the confines of my bed with the curtain drawn around it. Two silhouettes darkened a section of the screen.

“She’s been out for three days, Officer. We think she’s fighting an infection that’s causing her temperature to spike out of control, but we haven’t been able to identify it yet. I really don’t think you’ll be able to question her any time soon.”

“She’s the main suspect in three fires which have all resulted in fatalities. I need to speak to her as soon as she’s awake.”

 “I understand, and I’m willing to help out as much as we can, but for now my priority is her health. I’ll call you as soon as she’s able to talk.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

“Have you heard anything more about the other young lady involved in the fire? I was informed she was transferred to a private facility.”

“She was. She didn’t make it.”

I fought back a sob that would have alerted the doctor and the officer that I was awake. Fatalities—the word seeped into my mind with the understanding that it included Louise. Clay’s words tore through my mind and rammed into my heart, “If she doesn’t pull through, I’ll never forgive you.”

“I assume the guard will stay?”

“Yes, we’ll keep her under twenty-four hour surveillance and allow no visitors. She’s already escaped custody twice before. I don’t want a third—not on my watch.”

“I understand.”

Allowing my eyes to drift closed again, I rested my head back on the pillow. The revelation that I was wanted in connection to two other fires startled me. Aside from the most recent fire, there was only one other fire I could think of: the fire that killed my father. My sudden disappearance had made that seem more suspicious than it otherwise might have been. Since then, I hadn’t been anywhere near any fires, except for Salem—the night of my reunion with Clay.

My heart ached as I thought his name. The words and venom of his bedside monologue seeped into my body like poison, filling me with dread and fear. I was certain Clay, with all his tricks and techniques, would easily have been able to evade the guard in front of my room. That certainty brought the revelation that he wasn’t absent simply because the police weren’t allowing visitors; he was gone because I had killed Louise. Someone from his family was dead because of me, which was something he’d probably never anticipated. I could easily recall my anger toward him for his part in my father’s death, and he hadn’t actually been the killer. I’d taken his sister’s life.

It was reprehensible.

Unforgiveable.

The desire to escape—to flee—became urgent. There was no reason for me to stay in town if Clay was no longer on my side. I definitely couldn’t allow the police to bring me in for questioning; it would be akin to signing my own death warrant. Too many of the Rain had connections in law enforcement, and I didn’t know the full extent of their reach. Even if I was lucky enough to evade them, there were simply too many questions the police would ask that I wouldn’t be able to provide adequate answers to.

I had to get out of there.

I just had to work out how.