Chapter 9. Chesca
The icy cold wind clashed on my skin as it chased the freshly fallen snow back up in the air. I shivered slightly, my hand tightening around the handle of the cauldron.
I looked back over my shoulder at the cave, a picture of the group flashing through my mind. I had never been part of a group before and although it was pretty damn nice, the quiet was a welcome change. Like the embrace of an old friend.
How long had I been with Aspen and Ashleigh? Maybe a week? A little bit longer? I wasn't entirely sure. Time is a fickle thing, especially out here in the wild.
I sighed as I deeply inhaled the fresh air. It sure was nice not to be breathing murky cave air. For a moment, I set the pot down and with my arms spread, I let the wind play with my clothes and hair.
I had forgotten how nice the Aladwin Forest could be when you weren't packed in a cave with your two mates who always seemed to be in constant conflict. I had seen how they fought about the last piece of jerky, or who got the nicest fur. I really didn't want to think about what kind of all-out war I could cause.
The dark strands of my hair playfully danced in the wind as it tugged on anything it could. I enjoyed the cold breeze whirling around me, not noticing how it slowly guided me into deeper into the forest.
It wasn't until I heard a faint cry in the distance and opened my eyes, that I realised how far I had strayed from the cave. I turned my head towards the noise, trying to pinpoint the location.
"Heeelp!"
A young, female voice found my ears and if the call for help wasn't clear, she sounded clearly distressed. With my fantastic instincts, ahem, I navigated myself towards the source.
"Hey, hey lady! Up here!"
I tilted my head upwards, wondering what "up here" meant and quickly came to realise that it meant, "Up here in the tree".
"Ehmmm... Hello?" I called back, wondering what was going on.
"Hi! Can you help me?"
I internally groaned. Why did I keep finding strays in the middle of nowhere? Was this some sort of practical joke? A scavenger's hunt nobody told me about? Find the strays?
"What is the problem?" I inquired, already cursing at myself for straying so far from the cave. Bad Akira, this is what happens when you go out on your own. You find people.
"This is kind of embarrassing, but... I seem to be stuck?" the girl shouted, looking a bit unsure of herself.
"You seem to be stuck?" You'd think that was something that was quite clear. Either you were stuck or you weren't.
"Well... I was chasing this little bird and it flew into this tree. So, naturally, I followed it. But now that am up here... I think I forgot I can't fly?"
"You forgot?"
"Well, yes. I mean, I’m quite sure that in one of my past lives I could fly. But then again, maybe not. It is all a bit hazy."
"The flying part or the past lives?" Why did all the people I found have to be crazy as coo-coo birds as well?
The girl held her chin as she seemed to ponder over the question. "Both, I think."
I softly banged my fist against my forehead, already knowing I would regret this. "What can I do to help?"
"Weeellll... Maybe... I don't know, hack down the tree?"
Ironically, I knew someone who was quite proficient in that. An image of Ashleigh cutting down the tree with a naked Aspen in it flashed through my mind.
No, better leave them out of it.
"Or you could... You know, climb down?"
The girl facepalmed herself. "Oh, so silly of me, if only I had thought of that!" she sarcastically called back.
"Just a suggestion," I muttered under my breath, part of me wondering if I could just leave her stuck in the tree. But as I looked at the panicked look on the younger girl's face, I realised that probably wouldn't be good for my karmic reservoir.
"Why don't I guide you down on the branches?" I suggested, hoping she didn't genuinely expect me to bring the whole tree down.
"Oh, that would work!" the girl cheerily answered.
I studied the branches of the tree, trying to figure out how she would have gotten up so high in the tree and what would be the best way down. "Maybe put your foot on that branch to your right? Yes, there. A bit lower, lower. Lower. Great!"
The girl hesitantly tested the branch underneath her, realised it held her weight and smirked. Unexpectedly agile, she suddenly let go of the tree and with a flexibility that certainly wasn't human, she jumped the whole way down.
Really? Really?!
As she handily landed on both her hands and feet, not a scratch on her body, she veered up and happily hugged me.
"Thank you so much! Boy, I was really stuck there, wouldn't have known what to do without you," she chattered away, as I finally got a better look at her.
She was only a couple of inches smaller, but nearly half of her was hair. How a person could walk around with such long hair would always amaze me. If it were me, I'd tangle myself around a tree in no time.
"I’m Cece, thank you for helping me out. What is your name?"
I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck. "No problem." No problem indeed, I hardly did a thing. "My name is Akira."
"A-ki-ra," Cece spelt, as she seemed to think it over. She then clapped her hands, threw her long hair over her shoulder and giggled. "That is beautiful. I love it. You should keep it!"
"Great, thanks? I will?" I slowly said, not sure why the girl assumed I wasn't planning on keeping it. I groaned, wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into this time. I should probably just say goodbye and quickly, quickly, walk away from this girl. But she seemed so young. Could I really leave her alone?
"Are you on your own or are your friends waiting for you somewhere?" I asked, secretly crossing my fingers behind my back. Please say friends, please say friends.
"No friends, just me! Little old me."
Damn it! Just my luck. Don't say it Akira, don't say it. "I’m travelling with a group of friends, you can come with me for the time being?"
As soon as the words left my mouth, I internally facepalmed myself. Bad Akira, I said don't say it!
Cece happily clapped her hands. "Oooh, I would love that. Haven't travelled with anyone in a while now. Not since my last friend died, but oh well, it happens."
I let out a sigh as I motioned her to follow me. Why did I keep finding strays? Why didn't I get more than five minutes alone time?
I nostalgically thought back to my first two weeks of my journey, remembering all the peace and quiet. But as I did, an image of Ashleigh flashed through my mind and I realised that finding her, hadn't been so bad after all.
With my new companion to my side, we retraced my footsteps. I let out a sigh of relief as I found the pot I had left behind and made a mental note to take better care of our equipment. Well, not ours, Darren's. He would surely kill me if I lost one of his cooking pots.
We reached the clearing in front of the cave and to my surprise, Aspen was leaning against the entrance, his arms crossed over his chest. He seemed to be drawing figurines into the snow with his feet, but as if he sensed me coming, his head snapped up. His eyes worriedly darted over me and I realised he had been waiting for me. Why? I hadn't been gone that long, had I?
A smile tugged up the corner of his lip as he realised I was still all in one piece and only after that, his eyes darted to the left.
"Fuck!" Aspen's loud voice trumpeted into the night as he suddenly called for Ashleigh. Not a moment later, she appeared from the cave, a worried look on her face as well. A smile of relief lightened up her face as she saw me, but that quickly changed into a snarl. The two siblings exchanged a glance, stared at me and signed some quick signals at each other. They curtly nodded and surprisingly efficient for the bickering duo, they seemed to come to a consensus.
Like they felt hellfire up their ass, the two twins sprinted towards me. Ashleigh jumped in front of me and as she pushed me behind her, Aspen flew at Cece's throat. With unexpected ease, he swiped the girl off her feet and slammed her into the ground.
Aspen was hovering over her as he used his knees to pin her shoulders down. "How dare you!" he growled at her, his lips curling up menacingly.
Not entirely sure what was happening, except that Aspen just attacked my guest, I pushed Ashleigh aside and grabbed Aspen by the upper arm. "Hey, calm down! She is a new friend!"
Now I really regretted bringing Cece along, but for a whole lot of different reasons. This wasn't exactly the warm welcome I had been planning.
Danny and her guys came running out of the cave and if I thought Aspen had an overreaction, I wasn't prepared for the rest. Darren immediately pounced on the girl, while Regan had to hold back a hissing Danny who seemed to be ready to claw her eyes out. Even with a giant gash in his chest, he was still a force of nature.
More screaming ensued as both Darren and Aspen bore their teeth at Cece.
A hand touched my shoulder and as I turned, I found myself staring at the worried face of JP
"A-A-Are you okay? Did, did C-Chesca hurt you?"
"Chesca?"
"Y-Y-Yes. I t-told you about her, d-didn't I?"
I turned from JP to Cece, who seemed quite unfazed by the angry man sitting on top of her.
"This is Chesca?" I asked, my voice rising in surprise. "But she is so..."
"Young? Pretty? Incredibly sexy?" Cece quipped in, her voice far too carefree.
I decided to ignore her suggestions as I turned back to JP and narrowed my eyes. "I thought you said she was a Coyote?"
He shook his head, both his hands worryingly running through his hair. "N-No. She is a-a Puma, but s-she has a standing a-alliance with the C-Coyotes."
I tilted my head to the side as I studied the frail girl underneath Aspen. So this was a Puma? Interesting. I had never seen one before. They were supposed to live all the way up in the desert.
"She seems harmless to me."
"H-Harmless?" JP stuttered, his eyes turning as wide as saucers.
"I will kill her!" Darren growled as he pressed a knife against her throat.
"Do it quickly!" Aspen encouraged him as he backed away from her, giving Darren better access to the girl. Cece looked at me with pleading eyes and this time, I tugged on Darren's vest.
"She is just a little girl. Darren, please stop!" I called out to him, trying to remove the blade.
"Don't let her fool you. She is the devil herself," Regan added. I threw him an angry look. He was supposed to be the reasonable and reliable one of the group. How could he be okay with them killing off someone like that?
I gave Darren's arm another yank. "Don't."
I could feel the muscles flex under his shirt but I wasn't fast enough to react. With a hard shove, he pushed me away, his dark eyes flickering menacingly in his sockets. "I’m going to slice her up real nice. Real nice," he muttered under his breath, as he teased her skin with the tip of his knife.
"Ashleigh? Will you do something?!" I turned to my mate, begging her to help me. I tried to catch her eye, but she was stubbornly staring into the ground, unwilling to meet my gaze. "Ashleigh?" I tried again, panic rising in my chest as even my own mate wouldn't back me up. This couldn't really be happening, right? They weren't seriously going to kill this girl right in front of my eyes, wouldn't they? They wouldn't...
But as I saw the murderous look on Darren's face, the disgust on JP's and the approval on Aspen's, I suddenly realised that this group wasn't nearly as cheery or as warm as they let on.
A chill ran over my entire body as even the cheery Danny didn't object or the voice or reason, Regan, seemed to agree with the general consensus of the group.
Their intent was clear. I could feel it in the air, I could smell it on their bodies. They were here to kill.
Akira... What did you get yourself into?
Darren growled menacingly, bearing his teeth at Cece as he traced her neckline with the tip of his knife. He looked like he was ready to plunge the steel into her without a second thought.
I felt my muscles tense. Was there nothing I could do to help her? Maybe if I...
It happened in less than the blink of an eye. If you didn't pay close attention, you'd have missed it. One moment, Cece was there. The other, she was gone.
A loud scream pierced the night. Darren. With his eyes spitting fire and rage visibly surging through his body, he threw his knife into the ground. Right into the spot where only an instant ago, Cece had been.
"No!" Aspen growled loudly, so angry his Alpha surfaced for a brief moment. For an instant, my breath caught in my throat as my wolf could feel his raw power. Beautiful.
I suddenly felt two hands on my shoulders and a slender body pressed against my back.
"There!" Darren barked as he picked up his knife and suddenly pointed it at me. As angry as I had ever seen him, he limped toward me. Where did that limp come from?
But this was not the moment to wonder about his mobility. The knife threatening me seemed much more pressing, as it was almost literally pressed against me.
What had happened? Why were they so violent, so angry? Was this really the same Darren that had admired a stray winter flower?
I wanted to back away from this lunatic that I didn't know but was reminded again of the body pressed against me. I turned my head and was met with a set of yellow eyes. Cece.
"They want to hurt me, Akira. Don't let them," she whimpered, looking like a scared child.
Again I turned towards my mate. "Ashleigh! Please?"
This time, she did look at me and in her eyes, I found a vulnerability and a helplessness I hadn't expected. She looked pained and I could tell from her gaze that she wanted to help me, but couldn't.
Why not?
"Kill her."
Another surge of power flooded over me as I suddenly realised what was going on. Aspen. As a natural born Alpha, he was controlling the group. Controlling their moods, controlling their actions. Controlling them.
So was this the real power of the Alpha?
I took another moment to admire Aspen in all his glory. So this was his real face. The man behind the cheeky boy. He was grand, majestic, nothing less than utterly magnificent. And also completely terrifying.
Nails dug into my skin brought my head back as I was reminded again what was going on. I couldn't give in. To anybody. Not even to Aspen.
"Aspen," I called out to him, catching his gaze. His amber eyes almost blackened as they bore straight into me, making my wolf jump up in longing. Mate.
"Please..." I begged, hoping that even if my wolf couldn't get through to Ashleigh, she was strong enough to sway Aspen.
Another timeless second passed as we just stared at each other. And then a twinkle flickered through his eyes as they lightened up, returning back to the familiar amber hue.
Darren's arm fell down as he stopped dead in his tracks, no longer approaching or threatening us with his knife. A heavy tension left my body and I could almost feel the group collectively sigh. The Alpha had retreated.
"Only this once. For you," Aspen growled from behind his gritted teeth. And with those words, he turned on his heels and disappeared into the cave.
I glanced at the rest of the group, wondering if this was an invitation for Cece... For Chesca, to stay with us. Danny shook her head at me and JP threw me a disappointed look, as they followed their leader into the cave. A lump appeared in my throat as I could feel another kind of tension settle onto the group and I already cursed at myself for bringing Cece here. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't brought her here...
But then again, she was already here and if there was one thing I had learned from growing up in my household, was that being shunned was never the answer. That just because people tell you to stay away from someone, that you should. Growing up lonely and exiled had taught me to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Cece deserved that same right.
I pointed towards the cave, inviting the Puma in, part of me wondering if they would kill her in her sleep and if she'd even still want to stay with us. I could imagine this wasn't the warmest welcome.
She flashed a carefree smile at me like she hadn't just been threatened. She had shrugged off the event like people pressed knives against her throat on a daily basis and somehow, I felt that might have been true.
The girl skipped into the cave, apparently not worried one bit about the murderous intent hanging in the group. I was ready to join her, but then I felt a warm hand on my arm.
"Be careful. She isn't as innocent as she appears to be."
I stared at Ashleigh's hand and then at her face. Her blue eyes were piercing into mine with concern, but for some reason, it made anger bubble up in my stomach. I shrugged her hand away, still utterly disappointed she hadn't stuck up for me and without another word, I turned my back towards her.
If my wolf was strong enough to pull Aspen out of his Alpha state, why hadn't hers reacted the same way?
I couldn't help but feel a huge wave of disappointment wash over me as I realised being mated wasn't enough. It didn't mean you'd get that instant bond Danny seemed to have with not just Regan, but all three of her lovers.
It also meant I could choose Aspen.
But then my wolf stirred and I couldn't help but look at the beautiful woman standing next to me, looking utterly defeated.
On queue, she met my gaze as her glacier blue eyes pierced into mine. And all thoughts I had about Aspen were washed away with her oceans.
Why would I choose Aspen if Ashleigh was right here?
I had heard about the power of the Alpha before. Almost none were born anymore and those who were, almost always immediately grabbed power. A stray Alpha like Aspen was a true rarity and as his mate, I couldn't imagine the pull he had on people. The only thing I knew was that his Alpha was strong enough to challenge the bond with my first mate.
And with that thought, I suddenly felt almost guilty for being so harsh to her. She wasn't the only one who wavered in the Alpha's presence. My wolf did as well. Every time he unleashed his raw power, my wolf was drawn to him, ready to forget all about Ashleigh. If he had this effect on me, I shouldn't judge her for the pull he had on her wolf. It wasn't fair of me to expect impossible things from her.
I let out a deep sigh, not liking one bit how my wolf seemed to keep getting pulled back and forth between the twins. They had already made it perfectly clear they wouldn't be sharing me. But the way it was going, I wouldn't be able to be with either of them.
As long as Ashleigh was around, my wolf would never be able to choose Aspen. But I also realised that with Aspen's Alpha around, he could make me forget about his sister.
Unless I mated with either of them, they would always tear me and my wolf apart.
But how to choose?
I thought about the two twins, marvelling at how uniquely beautiful they both were. Aspen with his muscled chest, his handsome smirk and his witty comments, he certainly was a charmer.
But then there was Ashleigh. At first glance, she was just as high-tempered as her brother, but the longer I knew her, the clearer it became it was all just a game. The real her was much softer, gentler. Quieter. There was an unrivalled depth to her that made me breathless. Speechless.
He was wild and loud like the waves of the ocean crashing against the cliffs. She was like a mysterious, undisturbed lake, deep and bottomless.
Aspen felt like a gust of wind, an unexpected tornado with limitless reserves of energy. Powerful. Destructive. Frightening. He was, in every way, the storm.
Ashleigh was his opposite. She wasn't destructive or aggressive. Not really. She was the protector, the care giver. She was the mountain braving any kind of weather, bowing to no one, no matter how loud the wind howled or how relentlessly the rain threatened. She would shield me from the storm.
Aspen or Ashleigh.
What did I need? Who did I want?
I peered deep into the cave, catching the frown on Aspen's face. It made him look dark, angry and freakishly handsome. Then I directed my gaze towards the forest, gazing at Ashleigh. The wind was playing with her curls and the saddened look in her eyes made me ache. She looked so hurt, so disappointed, all I wanted to do was comfort her.
Aspen was exciting. Ashleigh was grounded. He could make me feel high on life. She would make me feel safe. Cared for. Loved. She could be the home I had never had. She would be.
Ashleigh... Of course, Ashleigh.
"I'll be in in a second, okay?" I told Cece, knowing I couldn't leave things like this with Ashleigh. The young girl happily nodded and skipped inside, unfazed by the killer mood hanging in the air.
I took a deep breath and gathered myself, ready to face my mate.
"Hey..." I softly whispered into the night, drawing her attention.
"Hi..." she muttered back, a sad smile playing around her cherry red lips.
"You, umm... You okay?"
Ashleigh tilted her head. "Ehmm... I'm not sure..." she slowly said, her eyebrows furrowed.
I placed a hand on her lower arm, sparks shooting through my body. Yes, definitely Ashleigh.
"I'm sorry..." I apologised, earning a surprised look.
"For what?"
"For being so harsh... For expecting too much from you?"
She briefly smiled, but it never reached her eyes. "I don't understand why I couldn't do a thing... I should've been able to..." she muttered, disappointment clear in her voice.
"It's okay..."
"Is it? What if next time you're the one in danger and I can't help you?" she growled, her hands balling into fists. As if it hadn't been clear before, she was probably beating herself up over this. Nothing I said would've made her feel worse than she already felt.
Just knowing that, knowing she thought she had let me down, filled my chest with a warmth I hadn't felt before.
She cared. She genuinely cared. She barely knew me, but it didn't matter. She wasn't torn between two people, scaling qualities, gauging who was the better fit. For her, I was the one and only. I had always been. I knew I was.
I recalled how she always stared at me, always lingering in the background, one eye on me, on eye on her own task. How she was always watching out for me, making sure I was okay.
Why hadn't I realised that before? Before all this, before my disapproving look...
She was the one. My mate. Of course, it was her.
And as this realisation flashed through me, another thought quickly followed. Now that I knew she was the only one I truly wanted, I couldn't screw it up. And that thought, it terrified me.
Before, I had the luxury of two people wanting me and me wanting two people. If it went wrong with one of them, I could just gravitate to the other. Like a real coward.
But I didn't want to be a coward anymore. I wanted to do this right. I wanted to be the mate that Ashleigh deserved. And I would prove I was just as perfect for her as she was for me.
Ashleigh. Of course, Ashleigh.
Mine.
I placed both my hands on top of hers, gently pushing them open as I intertwined my fingers with hers. "If I were in danger, you'd come through."
"What if I won't?"
"You will."
She snorted sarcastically, pulling her hands out of mine. Ouch, that stung.
"You're probably better off with Aspen," she scoffed, her head turning to the side as she refused to meet my gaze.
Hell no. Just when I had made up my mind and decided to go hundred percent for her, she was wavering? I wouldn't let her.
I grabbed her hands again, refusing to let her give into the doubt.
"Look at me."
Ashleigh pretended like she couldn't hear me, so I gently squeezed her hands. "Look at me," I asked again, my voice much softer.
Slowly, she turned her head, finally meeting my gaze. Her beautiful blues that were usually filled with sparks, were now brimming with sadness. Disappointment, regret, and guilt were all swirling around in them and just looking at her, made me ache for her.
Knowing I could be so affected by her emotions by just staring into her eyes, I knew I had chosen right.
Mate.
"I want you," I spoke, my voice surprisingly strong and unwavering. With Aspen deep inside the cave, things were all so much clearer. How had I been so confused before?
Ashleigh stared back at me, studying my expression, probably searching for any hesitation. When she couldn't find any, she asked in a small voice: "Why me?"
“You’re my mate," I said, quite surprised. Why not her?
"So is he," she argued, her face falling at the thought of me being with her brother.
"I don't want him."
"Then you’re the first," she bitterly spat out as her gaze fell back to the ground.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
She chuckled, but nothing about it sounded cheerful. "I was born thirteen minutes after my brother. Thirteen minutes was all it took for him to have a headstart on me for life."
I silently waited for her to elaborate, not wanting to ruin the moment.
"My family has had a one-child policy for as far back as we go. There have never been twins in any of our lines before. I wasn't wanted."
Ashleigh bit her lip as her eyes glazed over. "My parents loved me, of course, they did. They always tried to treat me the same way. And don't get me wrong, I love my brother. I love him to bits. He was always the one sticking up for me, trying to make me feel equal."
Another silence befell us. I patiently stared at her, knowing this wasn't the end of the story. But when she kept quiet, I tried to catch her gaze again.
"But?" I asked, gently encouraging her to keep going.
"But... Besides being the first-born, Aspen is an Alpha as well... As much as he loathes having that kind of power, he can't control it. Not well. Not always. And I can't blame him for it. He is first, he will always be first."
I frowned my brows as I hadn't realised how insecure Ashleigh felt about her relationship with her brother. Whenever they fought or bickered, it always seemed like she had the upper hand.
She snorted, briefly shaking her head. "I have worked my whole life to be better than him. Faster, smarter, stronger. When he is just Aspen, my brother, I am. But when it comes to Alpha Aspen, I will never measure up," she sadly said, like she had read my mind. "This is why he is so aloof and relaxed. He knows he doesn't have to try. Whereas me..."
“You’re you," I quipped in, taking a step closer to her. "And you’re the one I want."
"How can you be sure?"
I placed her hand on my chest, as I drew my wolf to the surface.
Mine. She growled possessively, immediately connecting to the black wolf inside Ashleigh. The dark-haired woman audibly swallowed, before meeting my gaze.
"Thank you," she softly murmured, the corner of her lip tugging up in what was her first real smile since we started our conversation.
"Anytime," I breathed, the world stopping as she pushed a stray lock of hair from my face.
"Do you know how beautiful you’re?" Ashleigh whispered, making my cheeks heat up. Only she would think so.
"Please, you’re the beautiful one here," I smiled back, loving how her eyes lit up. She chuckled briefly, shaking her head in amusement. And as she did, I was suddenly surrounded by the scent of wild strawberries. My favourite.
I bit my bottom lip, trying to contain the smile threatening to break out on my face.
"You really are something else," my dark-haired mate grinned, her thumb still caressing my cheek.
A shadow fell over my face. It took me a second to realise Ashleigh was the one casting it. She was bringing herself closer to me, her lips inching closer and closer.
Was this it? Was she going to kiss me?
I hastily wettened my lips, a nervous jolt jumping through my body. Would we be alone long enough for us to finally? How would it feel like? Was nobody going to interrupt us? No jealous Aspen, no nosey Danny?
Before any more thoughts could run wild through my head, Ashleigh's warm lips found mine.
I stopped. The world stopped.
My wolf exploded in happiness as she rampaged through my chest together with her mate, both howling as they ran after each other.
Ashleigh's soft lips moved against my own, warm, gentle, moist. She did taste like a combination of cherries and wild strawberries and I couldn't help but sigh against her.
How had I managed to go so long without kissing her?
As she nipped at my bottom lip, a shiver shot up my spine as I could feel myself slowly unravel. Perfectly unravel into her.
Of course, Ashleigh. How had I ever had any doubts about that?
Her thumb stroked my cheek once more, before she pulled away, leaving me hopelessly wanting more. She let her forehead rest against mine and for a moment, we just breathed. We breathed each other. And we stood still, in the midst of a silent world. Just her. Just me. Just us.
She was the first who broke the silence. "We should go inside," she murmured, her voice almost disappointed.
I nodded in agreement suddenly noticing how cold my limbs had grown. How long had we been standing here?
With a new-found certainty, we strutted inside the cave, my pinky brushing over the back of her hand. But with every step I took, with every step closer to Aspen, I could feel my resolve waver.
And I couldn't stop it. I wanted to stop it, but I couldn't. As I approached Aspen and was hit with the residue of his Alpha, my wolf grew more and more hesitant.
And I loathed it.
I didn't want to feel this way. I wanted Ashleigh. Only Ashleigh. But Aspen... He called out to me, to my wolf.
Why did I feel this way? Why couldn't I stop it? Did I want to stop it?
I threw a helpless look at Ashleigh, hoping she could help me but was just met with a saddened smile.
"It's okay. That is just how it is," she soberly shrugged, like she hadn't expected anything else.
I opened my mouth to protest, to tell her it wasn't like this, but she had already added herself back to rest who were all getting ready for bed. Like nothing had happened between us, she casually asked Regan how he was feeling, almost deliberately ignoring me.
So much for making my mate feel reassured...
I sat down on my furs and listened to the all too familiar whining from my wolf as she tried to decide between Aspen and Ashleigh. So much for our kiss. Stupid wolf.
I wanted Ashleigh. Why wouldn't my wolf listen to me? I groaned as I let myself fall down in my "bed". Couldn't this night just end? As soon as I hit my furs, I realised just how tired I was. Had all this really happened in one day?