Chapter 15. Power
Power like I had never felt before surged through my body, engulfing me, wrapping me up like a blanket. It was like electricity. Magical. Enthralling. Addicting.
How did Aspen keep this power locked away? It was beautiful. It was raw, uncut, terrifyingly beautiful. I could feel my fingers itch. This, now this made me feel alive. It made me feel strong. Empowered.
A loud cackle broke the silence and I snapped my head towards the sound. Who dared laugh in my presence? Which unfortunate soul would feel the full extent of my wrath?
I looked around me and admired the piles of carcasses. Puddles of blood were staining the earth red, like a sacrifice to the spirits. Not far ahead of me, I recognised the face of my earlier attacker. I couldn't remember who had taken him down, but he was still clawing in the mud, softly groaning in pain. Was it him? Did he laugh at me?
Faster than I could remember my body moving, I bore the heel of my shoe down on his hand. With a power that wasn't my own, I lifted him up from the mud as I stared in his eyes. His earlier scent wafted through the air. Sour. Musky. Sweat. Piss. Disgusting.
"Please..." he begged, making me laugh out loud. The same cackle as before found my ears and I realised it had been me all along.
"Please what?" I taunted, my hand coiling around his limp neck.
"Please, I have a so..."
Before he could even finish his plea, my hands yanked his head to the side, snapping his neck. With bone chilling crack, I felt his spine shatter as his last words froze on his tongue, to never be spoken out loud. With a grin, I robbed him of that opportunity. He didn't deserve last words anyway.
He was dead before his body hit the cold forest floor. My first kill.
I felt Aspen's Alpha nod in approval, nudging me, guiding me towards the next person squirming in the mud. Without any effort, I pulled him out of the dirt, laughing at his panicked look. He was right to look so scared. He was right to fear me. With the Alpha under my command, I could do anything. I could be anything.
I didn't need the Winter Stone, I didn't need to protect my village. Why should I? They had loathed and shunned me since I was little. They hadn't wasted one kind word on me. Finally, finally, I would make them respect me. I'd make my father tremble in fear, making him bow down at my feet as he begged for my forgiveness. He'd regret the day that he slapped me. I would make him regret it.
Oh, my poor brothers and sisters. They would come to realise that I wasn't the black sheep of the family. They would make way for me. My oldest brother would give me his birthright and I would inherit our clan's name. I would be the future of the Rafe family. Me, and only me.
My mother would weep for the day the she gave me up. She would realise what a mistake it had been to give her own child away. Oh, she would cry and cry and beg for my forgiveness. Maybe, if she crawled through the mud, I would show her some mercy.
The whole clan would revere me. Oh, not just the whole clan. My whole tribe. They would whisper my name in fear behind closed doors, grovelling to be in my favour. Wolves, Coyotes, I didn't care what spirit they worshipped, they would all bow down to my Alpha. I would rule everyone and everything.
No more weak Akira, no more crying and begging the others for help. Aspen's Alpha was mine to control. Mine to command. It was mine.
I tightened my fingers around the pathetic neck of this new man, digging my nails into his skin. He squirmed and clawed at my hand, trying to free himself. It was no use. There was no escaping my grasp. No escaping my wrath.
I stared deep in the man's eyes, hoping he would remember my face. Making sure that he fully realised I was the last thing he saw before he died. I would be his god from now on.
Before I could steal his lifeforce away, a chill swept through the air. I looked up from the kneeling man and suddenly realised that I wasn't alone. I'd forgotten about the rest of the group. With a grin, I pulled the man up from the dirt and waved him around like a trophy. Why didn't my friends look happy? In fact, they almost looked frightened. I wondered why?
The fight was over. We won. We slaughtered every last person attacking us. They were all lying on the cold forest floor, their lifeless bodies a symbol of our victory. It was beautiful. Death was beautiful.
Wait.
What was I thinking? Death was beautiful? That didn't sound right? That didn't sound like me.
A pair of desperate blue eyes suddenly caught my attention. Ashleigh. Her face was painted with a look that I couldn't place. Why was she staring at me like that? Why didn't she look proud? I just saved everyone? Why wasn't she celebrating with me? Why did she look so terrified? The danger had passed. I had ended the battle. Why was she still scared?
I turned around, wondering what she could possibly be looking at. Maybe there was someone trying to attack my back?
But no. There was nobody else. All our enemies were lying defeated on the ground. There was no one else she could be scared of. Unless... Was she scared of me?
No, that couldn't be. I was her mate, she had no reason to fear me. I would never hurt her. No, I did all this to protect her. This was my way of keeping her safe. Yet... She looked absolutely terrified.
Why was she opening and closing her mouth the whole time? Was she gasping for air?
I focused on her mouth, trying to decipher the movement of her lips. "A... ki... ra." I mumbled, reading her words. "Akira."
Akira. That was me. Ashleigh's mate. Akira.
Ashleigh looked in pain. Why was she in pain? Was it my fault? Was my Alpha pushing her down? Was I hurting her? I didn't want to hurt her. Not Ashleigh.
I looked at the man I was still holding. He had soiled his pants and his tears felt hot on my hand around his neck. I didn't want to hurt him either. I didn't want to hurt anyone. That wasn't me. No, that wasn't Akira.
I should put this man down. I should.
But Aspen's Alpha wouldn't have any of that. Mercy was wasted on him. As soon as that thought flashed through my mind, I could hear the Alpha growl in my ear. My fingers twitched involuntarily and my grip on him tightened.
Put him down. I told myself, willing my hand to release his neck. My fingers cramped and refused to obey. Put. Him. Down. I tried again, my muscles spasming as I tried to regain control over my body.
The man's face was turning redder with every second as I realised I was effectively crushing his windpipe. If I kept squeezing, he would suffocate.
Down, Akira. Down! I yelled internally, glaring at my traitorous hand. Why wouldn't it just open? Why couldn't I put the man down? Was this it? The other side of Aspen's Alpha? The price you paid for the ultimate power? Was this how he felt every time he lost control? Was this what he had to fight against?
I clenched my teeth, fixating on my hand, begging for it to open. I didn't need to kill this man. I didn't want to. And I wasn't going to. Not if I could help it. If only the Alpha would start listening to me again. If only I could make him listen to me, like in the beginning. But then again, was he ever really under my command? Had I used him or had he used me?
Refusing to believe I fell victim to Aspen's cunning Alpha, I bit hard on the inside of my cheek. The coppery taste of blood filled my mouth, the pain clearing my head a little. I refused to give in.
I tore my eyes away from the man I was choking and stared deep into Ashleigh's. If there was anyone who could give me strength, it was her. Her eyes were bright blue, so bright I wondered if someone had hidden a million sapphires in them. Oh, how I would love to stare in her eyes for all eternity.
The Alpha growled again, a wave of power washing over me as my grip on the man's neck tightened. At this rate, I would murder a second person before my first kill had grown cold. Was this what Aspen always had to deal with? No wonder he kept his Alpha locked up.
I glanced at him. He was standing still in the middle of the circle, sweat pearling on his forehead. He was frozen in a trance. In my trance.
I ground my teeth together. No, not my trance. Not anymore. I was no longer in control. His Alpha had taken over and we were both caught in the same haze.
Harshly, I bit down on my other cheek. More blood coated my tongue, pain shooting through me. With all the strength I had left, I silently begged Ashleigh to help me. To send her wolf to me. Helplessly, she stared back at me. Her blue eyes swimming with sadness and fear. A dread like no other settled in. She couldn't help me.
I was on my own. Ironic. Surrounded by my mates, by people who deeply cared for me, people I tried to save. And I would be my own downfall. I'd surrender to Aspen's Alpha and he would corrupt me, flood me with thoughts I never wanted to think. Fill me with feelings I despised. Turn me into the person I’d been working so hard not to become. He'd make me harsh, bitter, cruel. I would become my father. I would become who I hated most. And there was no one here who could help me and nothing that would stop it. I was all alone, just like I had been my whole life. Just me. Always only just me.
A low growl suddenly emitted from deep within me. A sound that sent a shiver throughout my whole body.
My wolf.
Of course, my own wolf. How had I forgotten about her? She’d always been here, had always watched over me. Had Aspen's Alpha even made me forgot my own animal soul?
Mate. The beast in my chest breathed, reminding me who I was fighting for again. I wasn't here to win my mother's approval. I didn't need my father's love. All I needed, all I wanted, was my mate. My mates. Ashleigh and Aspen. This was for them.
Mate. My wolf growled louder, more determined. I closed my eyes, picturing a set of amber and blue eyes, and forced my body to relax. I gathered myself and took in a deep breath. I would not let this Alpha ruin what I had going on with the twins. I would not let this Alpha tear this pack apart. I would not let it take me over. I refused.
All the power I could muster, all the will I had left, I channelled it to my hand. I would not kill this man. I would not take another life.
Pain shot up and down my arms as all my muscles cramped and with every twitch from my fingers, the man's eyes rolled deeper into his skull. If I didn't release him soon, they would stay there forever.
Come on. Come one. Come on.
With a flash, the world turned back on. All the noises came rushing in, overwhelming me as they crashed against my eardrums. With a loud scream, I yanked my hand loose, freeing the man who fell to the ground as he gasped for air.
With a frustrated growl, the Alpha retreated back into Aspen, where he belonged. His grip on me broken.
Free from the Alpha's trance, I realised how tired my body was. My right leg was trembling, the muscles in my back spasming, my thighs cramped. I was exhausted. Utterly exhausted. With a sigh, I sank down on my knees. I didn't care about the blood or soil staining my clothes. I just wanted to rest.
Before I could hit the ground, a warm body embraced me. Arms wrapped tightly around me as the scent of sweet strawberries engulfed me. Ashleigh.
"Thank the spirits, you're okay," she cried out, hugging me like she hadn't seen me in years. Abruptly, she pushed me away from her. With tears streaming down her face, Ashleigh shook my limp body. "Are you mad? You could've died!" she yelled, concern colouring her voice.
I gave her the best smile I could. "Worth it."
"You silly, silly girl. Dear heavens, I don't know what I'd have done if I lost you here," she wept, shaking her head as she feverishly tried to wipe away the tears streaming down her face.
"I'm okay," I managed to mumble, pretending I didn't realise how close I’d come to a full on disaster. If my wolf hadn't come to my rescue, I'd have no doubt that the Alpha would've tried to kill every single soul around me. Ally and enemy alike.
"You're crazy. Utterly crazy," Ashleigh whispered in disbelief, her blue eyes exceptionally clear.
"Crazy about you?" I mumbled tiredly, hoping to lighten to mood. Hoping to forget what had just happened. What I'd just done. I didn't want to think about it. Not now. Now, I just wanted Ashleigh to hug me, tell me everything would be okay, and chase my nightmares away tonight.
"Don't you try to flirt with me right now. I'm still mad at you!" Ashleigh half-yelled, but her curled up lips told me she was more relieved than actually angry at me.
"Isn't it working?"
A full smile broke through on her face. "It's totally working, but that's beside the point."
I let out a heavy sigh as my body finally gave out. Ashleigh wasn't angry at me. Everyone was still alive. It could've ended worse. With a faint smile on my lips, I fell into her. Finally, the fight was really over.