Chapter 11
Kathleen was nervous. She had never been so worried about anything in her life before. Gabriel had apparently booked the room under the name Mr and Mrs March.
They had all lunched together in a private parlour, but it had been a quiet affair with the gentlemen trying to keep the conversation flowing. But Kathleen could tell that Christina was as nervous as she was.
The gentlemen kept glancing at each other as if unsure how to keep things light and not discuss the elephant in the room.
Eventually, lunch was over, and Gabriel led her up to their bedchamber. He closed and locked the door and took her pelisse, gloves and bonnet from her, placing them along with his hat and greatcoat onto a love seat near the window. He sat on a chair and smiled at her.
“I am sorry to ask this of you, but would you mind awfully helping me to remove my boots? I can call up a servant…”
“No, not at all. When we were on board the ship coming over here, I often helped my father remove his boots. It was easier than finding someone.”
Between them, with a little effort, they managed to remove both boots and then he stood, looking at her and Kathleen wondered what on earth she had done. Was this large, beautiful man what she wanted? Was she what he wanted? Would he be disappointed?
“My lord…”
“My lady.”
A giggle escaped Kathleen’s lips. “Oh my. I really am a lady.”
“The Countess of Cindermaine.”
She wrung her hands together and stared into the fire. “I am sorry. I do not know what I am doing.”
He chuckled. “I would be surprised if a virgin acted like a courtesan on her wedding night.”
“You have been with many courtesans?”
She wished she could catch those words and push them back into her mouth. He raised an eyebrow. “One or two. Not many. On a servant’s wage, I prefer to make sure I get my sexual pleasure for free.”
“Oh?”
“There are many willing young ladies from the middle classes only too happy to bed a young educated man who knows how to give a lady pleasure, my love.”
Something about the way Gabriel said the word pleasure, made her heart race.
“Oh!”
“Let me show you pleasure, my lady.”
He was standing close to her now and her breathing was becoming laboured. It was so hard to breathe and think with him so near.
He placed one hand on her waist and drew her flush against him. While she had been expecting a brutal, bruising kiss, she was surprised when he brushed his lips gently against hers. Just as he had the night of their betrothal ball.
He withdrew from the kiss and then smiled at her.
“You still look absolutely petrified. We have a few hours until we need to set off for London. I would prefer you to be relaxed for this. I have some cards in my pocket. Let us play a game. Come sit by the fire.”
She did as she he asked.
He took the cards out of his pocket and sat opposite her. “We shall draw cards. Whoever has the lowest card must remove an item of clothing. If one of us draws a face card, then we kiss. The other person must remove an item of clothing.”
She nodded. It was a strange game, but she assumed he was getting her comfortable being unclothed around him.
“Are there any other rules?”
He thought for a moment. He was obviously making the rules up as he went along. “Both stockings count as one garment. You must remove your boots as I already removed mine. And when we kiss, you must come and sit on my knee so we can kiss properly.” His voice lowered as he said properly. She might enjoy this game.
She removed her half-boots with alacrity and sat up, smiling at him. They drew the first card. He allowed her to go first. She drew a seven of clubs. He drew a nine of diamonds. She lifted her skirts, untied her garters and took off her stockings. It felt strange to remove her stockings in front of a man, especially when he made no attempt to avert his eyes.
This time she has a ten and Gabriel drew a three. He removed his coat. Disappointment gnawed at her. She had seen men without coats before but had never seen a man without his stockings. Gabriel smirked at her. When she drew a four, she groaned until Gabriel drew a two. He removed his neckcloth. His shirt gaped a little and she could see tanned skin at his throat. It looked smooth. She had the sudden urge to lick it.
Next time, she drew a two, and he drew a queen. He motioned her to come over and sit on his lap, facing the fire. He placed a hand behind her head and drew her to him for a kiss. This time he was more insistent, pressing his tongue into her mouth and angling her head to deepen the kiss still further. She heard herself moan as his hand trailed up her leg.
When his hand reached the top of her thigh and he leaned her back, brushing his hand across the hair at the apex of her thighs she gasped and pulled out of the kiss. He smiled and then helped her to her feet. As she sat down, he appeared to be adjusting himself inside his breeches.
They picked cards and this time it was Kathleen’s turn to lose. She moved to him and asked her to unbutton her gown. He obliged, pressing kisses to her back as he did so. Once her gown was loose, Gabriel pushed his hands inside and around to the front, cupping her ample breasts despite their two layers of clothing still between him and her flesh. She moaned, and he pressed kisses to her neck and massaged her breasts. He rocked the hardness of his manhood against the small of her back.
“Gabriel.”
“Hmm, do you want to continue playing, my love?”
“I believe we should change the rules.”
“Really? Pray tell, what would you like to change.”
“If I lose, you take off my garment and if you lose, I take off yours.”
“I can see you are a quick learner, my lady. Now, step out of your gown.”
She did, and he tossed her gown onto his chair. They drew cards. He drew a four, she drew an eight. She moved to him and put her hand on the button of his breeches.
“The waistcoat first.”
“That is not fair.”
“It is fair. I choose the garment.” She unbuttoned his waistcoat and moved it off his broad shoulders, but her hands lingered on his chest. He grinned at her. She scowled.
Gabriel picked up the cards and shuffled them then laid them down. She drew a King and he drew a knave. His mouth quirked.
“New rule?”
She nodded her acquiescence.
“As you wish, my lord.”
“When both of us draw a face card, we must kiss but then we must both remove a garment apiece.”
“Not acceptable.”
“No?”
“We must remove a garment apiece and then we must kiss.”
“I prefer your rule. May I ask why?”
“You do not have to wear stays, my lord. They are exceedingly uncomfortable and when you kiss me, I believe I am in danger of swooning.”
Gabriel chuckled.
“Good lord, we cannot have that. Turn around, my lady.”
He had her stays removed in short measure. Then with cards in hand, he walked to the bed and sat on the edge.
“You may remove my stockings,” he said. She knelt and lifted the bottoms of his breeches after untying them and undid his garters then she unrolled one woollen stocking from each of his legs.
She then placed a hand on each of his knees. Biting her lip, she looked up into his eyes. He smiled gently at her, but his gaze darkened with desire as he brushed the back of his fingers over her cheek. Taking each of her wrists into his hands, he drew her up against his body so that her head was against his chest. Then he rubbed her back until one hand wandered down and cupped her bottom.
“Are you well, Kathleen?”
“I am.”
“Are you scared?”
“No, not scared. A little apprehensive.”
“Would you like to play on?”
“I draw a king.”
“I draw a queen. Stand and I shall remove your underskirts.”
They pooled on the floor within seconds along with his shirt. Gabriel remained seated and drew her head down for a hard, needy kiss. He roamed his hands over her barely clad body, but she could only hold onto his bare shoulders for fear of her weak knees giving way.
“I draw queen.”
“I draw king.”
He pulled the ribbon of her shift, and she allowed him to inch the garment up her thighs, baring first her womanhood, then her stomach and then her breasts as he pulled if from her arms. Kathleen did not give herself time to be embarrassed, however. She set about the buttons of his breeches before her shift hit the floor. When his large, hard member popped out of his breeches at eye level she sprang back but recovered herself quickly.
Gabriel chuckled. “I apologise.”
“It is fine,” Kathleen replied tugging his breeches over his hips and leaning down so he could step out of them. It was still at face height. “Can I… May I touch it?”
“Let us lay on the bed and I shall let you touch it.”
She climbed on beside him and scrambled back until her head was on the pillows. He tugged the covers from under her and pulled them to the bottom of the bed so she was lying on the sheet. He moved up beside her and gathered her into his arms.
Kathleen curled her fingers around his long hard length and Gabriel closed his eyes and dropped his head back.
“Am I hurting you?”
“No. It feels nice. Move your hand up and down the shaft.” She did as he asked and he groaned. “Oh God, Kathleen, you are so good at that.” He pulled her into a kiss. As he deepened the kiss, he pushed his own hand between them and parted her thighs. He ran his finger through the folds of her most intimate area. But rather than feeling shame, she liked it.
Without thinking she let go of his shaft so she could run her hand through his hair.
“I’m sorry,” she said immediately.
“Mm, it is fine, I was going to have to ask you to stop or I would have spent in your hand. And that would not do.”
She did not understand what he meant but, at this point, she was willing to just allow him to lead. He kissed down her chest and on to her breasts, but when his mouth closed around her nipple, she was also aware of him invading her down below with his finger.
“Oh!” It was not unpleasant. Rather it was just unexpected. But soon, with a combination of his sucking and licking her nipple and pushing his finger in and out of her channel as his thumb worried a part of her intimate area that sent her crazy with need, Kathleen was rocking her hips and moaning his name. He added a second finger and the desire built even further. He had moved to her other nipple. She vaguely knew that she was tugging at his hair but he was not protesting.
“Let yourself go, Kathleen.” His voice was low and gravelly. She was going to end up in Bedlam. She was sure of it. This kind of torture was surely not healthy. But it was so sweet.
“Gabriel, I can’t…”
“Relax, my love.”
“No, I cannot.”
He was on top of her then, his hand removed from her and his mouth at her neck. Her legs were either side of his hips and… was his manhood rubbing against her intimate area? Oh, it was. It felt so good. He raised her bottom off the mattress with his hands and kissed her. But his strokes were slow and steady. He ground hard against her and she rubbed hard against him. She was not sure if what she was doing was right, but she knew it felt wonderful and that Gabriel was not telling her to do differently.
Gabriel broke the kiss and was sprinkling kisses down her neck when everything changed. She knew something monumental was happening in her body but did not know what.
“Please Gabriel. Don’t move. What’s happening?”
“That’s it, my love. This is what is supposed to happen. Let it.”
His face hovered above hers and as a wave of euphoria hit her. She cried out his name, but it was muffled by his lips as they descended on hers. Her ears pounded and the world suddenly seemed out of kilter. The world now only contained her and Gabriel in this moment.
And then he was positioning himself at her opening.
“I am so sorry, Kathleen. This will hurt whenever I do it.”
He pushed in a little but apart from some stretching it was fine. He pushed in more and it was still fine. But she was euphoric from whatever had just happened. Surely whatever he was going to do was not going to…
“Ouch!”
And she was being stretched like she had never imagined. Instead of the bliss she had just experienced, she was on fire down there.
Kathleen scowled at her husband. Gabriel grimaced.
“If I could have taken that pain upon myself, I would have.”
However, for all the pain he had caused in the moment, it was already beginning to ease. Gabriel leaned his head down and brushed his lips over hers. As he withdrew he apologised again.
“I shall start moving now.” And he eased out of her and pushed back in. It was no longer painful. It was rather nice. Gabriel rocked in a gentle rhythm, his gaze concentrated on her face for signs of discomfort. She smiled at him. “You are well?”
“Yes, Gabriel. It is not painful now.”
“Wrap your legs around my hips.” She did and was sure he sank deeper into her. He groaned with pleasure and buried his face in her neck. His thrusting picked up speed. Kathleen found that she wanted to move in counterpoint to him, almost like riding a horse. The whole thing was becoming exhilarating now that the initial pain had worn off. She suspected she would be sore later but for now, she could feel the same feelings she’d had before rising within her. And Gabriel’s kisses on her neck, on her shoulders on the parts of her chest he could reach, were divine. “Oh Kathleen, I am so sorry,” he said again.
She had no idea what he was apologising for, but she was feeling, well… agitated. As if she would burst. The way she had earlier. She caught Gabriel’s hair in her hands and pulled his head up so he would kiss her. He obliged with a chuckle. Then his mouth plundered hers. His strokes in and out of her body became frenetic, and she matched him thrust for thrust. She did not think this was at all ladylike and perhaps he would think her wanton afterwards, but she would deal with the consequences of this later. He had been the one to drag her off to get married before her mama could explain the marriage bed to her. Of course, she was unskilled and lacking knowledge.
But it felt so good and she was so near the peak again. She dug her nails into his hard backside and she was almost sure he growled. He covered his mouth with hers at the same moment as the euphoria washed over her. Gabriel lost his rhythm and she was aware of muscles inside her pounding around his manhood. And then Gabriel grunted against her shoulder, stiffened his body and there was a gush of liquid warmth inside her. Was that his seed? He thrust a few more times—hard—into her body, before he relaxed, his thrusts changing to a rocking motion as he calmed, then he withdrew and flopped onto the bed at her side.
His chest was heaving and he looked dazed. As though he needed smelling salts.
“Come,” he said, tugging at her. She rolled onto her side and he enveloped her in his arm, laying her head on his sweaty chest. He smelled lovely. “That was not well done of me.”
“What was not?”
“I should have been… gentler your first time. But once inside of you, I lost my mind. You felt so good and you were so responsive.”
“I am sorry, Gabriel.”
“What on earth do you have to be sorry about, Kathleen?”
“For being gauche. I did not know what I was doing. I did what felt… well, natural, I suppose.”
He smiled at her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “That is exactly what you should do. Apart from knowing I hurt you, it was wonderful. It should never hurt ever again. If it does hurt, you must ask me to stop.”
“When you went all stiff and there was a gush of warmth inside me, was that your seed?”
His eyebrows rose in surprise, but he recovered quickly. “Yes.”
“So, I could have a baby.”
“Possibly. But it does not always happen immediately. It could take some months or even a couple of years. It depends.”
She glanced down his nude body. He was a fine specimen of manliness. Her gaze settled on his manhood.
“It is much smaller than it was,” she blurted out without thinking. Gabriel picked it up with his free hand and said, “Yes, it needs time to recover. A bit like myself. You have worn us both out.”
“It is not as small as Cedric’s though.” As soon as she realised what she had said she slapped her hand over her mouth and buried her face in his chest. Gabriel guffawed.
“Lady Cindermaine, you were an innocent until ten minutes ago. You should not be looking at the cocks of men, even if they were your fiancé.”
“My Lord, you cannot use that word in front of a lady.”
He rolled her over onto her back and hovered over her. “Oh, but you are not just any lady. You are my wife. I can use any language I like if it makes you blush that seductive shade of pink. Wait until I tutor you on the words I know for the intimate parts of your body.” Kathleen was sure she was blushing all over—yes, even in those parts of her body. “But that can wait. Let me check the watch that Stalwood gave me. I think we have time before we need to get dressed but I should check to make sure.
He climbed off her and sat on the edge of the bed, glancing around at the clothes strewn everywhere and that was when Kathleen saw the large white welt mark on his back. He stood and walked to his waistcoat on the chair and checked the watch.
“Do we need to dress?”
“No, we have about half an hour until then.”
“Gabriel?”
“Yes?”
“What are those marks on your back?”
The teasing light in his eye faded.
“Nothing.”
“They are something, Gabriel.”
“They are of no relevance now.”
“Your father did it, did he not?”
“The Duke of Hartsmere is not my father. He is my sire. The brute has never been a father to me. He provided the seed that produced me and I shall inherit his title. I would be more than happy not to inherit his title. I should prefer to find a job as a solicitor or a teacher. But the scandal that would bring upon Christina is unconscionable.”
“Then the Duke of Hartsmere did it.”
“I said I do not wish to discuss it.”
“I do if you are still in danger, Gabriel. Does he still do this to you?”
“No.”
“Are you sure he does not do this to Christina? Is she in danger?”
Gabriel made a low noise in his throat before he spoke. “As I explained to you a few nights hence, if he did, I would be the Duke of Hartsmere now or the dukedom would have reverted to the crown—depending on whether I was caught killing the blaggard.”
“What if he finds out and hurts Christina in revenge? What if this whole secret marriage thing becomes common knowledge? You and Christina could be in danger.”
“He will not hurt either of us. He knows better.”
“This is a terrible idea. We should stop this now.”
Gabriel rolled his eyes.
“I hate to inform you, Lady Cindermaine, but the blood on the sheets prove you are no longer a virgin. They prove this marriage is well and truly legal and I am still not for handing you over to my obnoxious half-brother to be the woman he brings the French pox home to when he is done with his whores.”
Gabriel was glaring at her now and, though she was more than a little scandalised by what he said, she would not back down.
“I did not mean calling off our marriage, Gabriel. And stop trying to shock me. I mean we should not stay in London for the next few days. I would have enjoyed seeing my family for one last Christmas but, well, I am a grown woman and I have you now. Your safety and the safety of Christina is more important.”
“We shall be fine. I promised you that you would have Christmas with your family and you shall have it. I am just sorry that you shall not be able to celebrate the feast of St Stephen with them.”
“Oh, no matter. I shall have you.”
“Better me than Cedric Smallcock.”
He pursed his lips as he tried not to laugh at his own joke. Kathleen picked up a pillow and threw it at him. He caught it deftly and waggled an eyebrow at her. She had a feeling she was in trouble now.