That night, Sadie hardly slept a wink. However, there was work to be done, so she couldn’t indulge in sleeping in. Bedding needed washing, butter needed churning, and she needed to kill and pluck a chicken at some point that day. With Wade there, she didn’t want to serve bland potato soup, so she intended to ensure there was a much grander meal of fried chicken or fish on the table every evening he was with them.
Wade joked and laughed with the twins, talked with Grace about California, and helped Ada with the last of her homework before school. Sadie stayed a distance apart, keeping busy on cooking breakfast, but it gave her a contented feeling to hear her siblings so relaxed. The normal squabbles were absent, and everyone seemed happier with Wade there.
She spooned scrambled eggs onto six plates and placed a fresh loaf of sliced bread in the center of the table along with the remaining butter. Wade sat in the same spot at the table he’d occupied as a child and offered to say the blessing. A rush of bittersweet memories flooded Sadie. Her pa had always said the blessing, and it felt good to have a man once again doing the same. Though she and Wade had never gotten along as children, there was no denying the family felt more complete with him there.
“So, Wade, can I go back with you to California?” Grace asked, passing him the salt and pepper. “I want to see more of the world than this sleepy old town.”
She phrased the question lightheartedly, but Sadie knew she was only halfway joking. Wade seemed to know it as well because he answered her in a serious voice as he sprinkled his eggs with pepper. “That will depend on whether I think it will do you good, Grace.”
She cocked her head. “How will you know?”
“I just will,” he insisted gently. “I knew it was better to leave you when I set out before, and I’ll know now if that’s changed.”
Grace’s eyebrows lifted with surprise at the mention of his disappearance five years previously.
“Of course,” Wade continued in a regretful tone, “what would have been best was if I’d stayed here instead of abandoning all of you. For that I can’t apologize enough.” He looked around the table at each of them, and Sadie felt that he gazed at her for an especially long time.
“That was ages ago,” Grace said, giving him an encouraging smile.
“Yes, it was,” he agreed. “But I fear the repercussions of my abandonment are long-lasting. I hope someday you all can forgive me.”
“Of course we forgive you, Wade,” Grace assured him. “We’re just glad to have you back.”
Sadie looked away. She didn’t think the apology was necessary, when the impetus behind his decision to leave was not his fault. If Sadie hadn’t been so cruel toward him all those years ago, he almost certainly would have stayed. She remained quiet throughout the rest of the meal, while the others joked and laughed with each other. She was aware of Wade looking at her every so often throughout the breakfast, but she took great pains not to do the same.
The meal ended, and people dispersed. Ada walked to school, while Luke and Miles each went to their job at the sawmill in town. Grace had a meeting scheduled with the seamstress in town, who was considering whether to hire her. Before Grace left, she threw her arms around Wade’s neck. “Don’t leave while I’m gone. Promise me.”
“Oh, Lordy! I won’t. I’m not near finished here,” Wade assured her. He landed a big kiss on her forehead. “I’ll see you at supper, sweetheart.”
She smiled brightly and then hugged Sadie goodbye.
“Stay out of trouble,” Sadie called to her.
“I will!” Grace chirped, and then disappeared, leaving Sadie alone with Wade.
“I’m going to talk with her tonight,” Wade said, frowning as he looked out the window, watching Grace’s retreat. “I can’t bear the thought of her in that saloon when we’re not looking.”
Sadie nodded and walked to the basin with a stack dishes.
Wade assisted her, bringing the rest of the dishes and the silverware to the countertop. “I see everyone left you to do the cleaning up alone,” he observed. “Is that a common occurrence?”
“Yes, I suppose,” she said with a short laugh. “They’re busy with work and school and various activities in town. My work is here at home.”
“Still, it’s not right. You should learn to delegate, young lady.”
Sadie didn’t know what the word 'delegate' meant, but the tone of his voice and use of the phrase 'young lady' made her head shoot up with surprise. Was he scolding her? That thought nearly made her laugh out loud. It also made her feel oddly warm inside. It was unusual for anyone to notice her behavior, and it was flattering that Wade did, even if it was in a disapproving way.
“You’re getting the short end of the stick here. Everyone should be able to see it,” he continued. “I’ll go fetch you some water from the well.”
He left and returned with a full bucket, which he used to rinse the dishes she washed. Sadie had to admit it was nice having someone around to help, although the silence between them during the chore was uncomfortable. She tried several times to apologize for what had happened so long ago, but the words kept getting stuck somewhere in her throat.
“How long has Grace been going to the saloon?” Wade asked finally, after they were nearly through with the dishes.
Though it was difficult for Sadie to think about the subject, in that moment it was preferable to the alternative of talking about the past. “I don’t know. I only just saw her there for the first time yesterday like you did, but she’s been secretive about her activities at night for some time.”
Wade shook his head and said firmly, “It cannot go on. I won’t allow it.”
It surprised Sadie how much Wade had grown up. He possessed none of the sullenness of his youth, and his every word and movement projected strength and resolve. This was good if he was going to make any headway with Grace. Of everyone, Sadie reckoned that Wade would probably have the most sway because of how much her sister admired him, but Grace always did as Grace wanted. The whole clan was like that—Wade included.
“Clyde… He was a good man,” Wade said. “I think if…” His voice trailed off.
“If he were alive, Grace wouldn’t be behaving this way,” Sadie finished for him bluntly, guessing his point. “She struggled after his death. She craved attention from men.”
Wade’s hands stilled over the plate he was rinsing, and the room felt suddenly somber. “I shouldn’t have left. If I were half the man Clyde was, I wouldn’t have.”
Sadie shook her head. “It’s not your fault, Wade.”
He didn’t respond. He resumed dipping the plate in the bucket to rinse it and noiselessly placed it on the counter with the others to dry.
Sadie knew this was her opportunity to apologize, and she braced herself to say the words and hear his response, knowing Wade had every right to reject anything she had to say. “I-I’m sorry,” she said finally, her voice trembling. “I’m sorry I did something so awful to you. I was jealous that Pa was paying you for the work you did, while not noticing my work, so I wanted to hurt you. It was wretched of me, and I’ve never been able to forgive myself.”
Wade picked up a towel and rubbed the plate dry, still not speaking. When he finally set the plate down and looked at her, his expression was kind. “Thanks for that, Sadie. I wondered what had caused you to frame me, and I wondered if you would ever tell me and apologize.”
She nibbled at her bottom lip while trying to chase away the tears that were forming. “I should have apologized years ago, but every time I wrote my apology down in a letter to you, it sounded so trite. It was too little, too late. Pa will never know the truth.”
“That’s how I saw it at first too,” Wade acknowledged. “I thought there wasn’t anything you could say to make things better. But as the years went by, I hoped you would reach out to me. My anger toward you didn’t last. I forgave you a long time ago.”
He dried his hands on the towel before taking her face between his palms. Her breath hitched. His touch was so tender and forgiving, and he looked at her with a wisdom in his eyes that reminded her of Clyde.
“You need to forgive yourself, Sadie. It’s in the past now, and you and I will do all we can to mend what was broken. That’s what Clyde would want. He always said being part of a family isn’t easy, but he believed in sticking together throughout hardship. I messed up by leaving. We both messed up, not just you.”
She tried to nod. “Thank you, Wade.”
He smiled. Leaning forward, he touched his lips to her forehead, which nearly took her breath away.