Chapter Four
By the time Monday evening rolled around, Kate wasn’t sure if she should take the ride to the Christmas tree farm. Would she seem desperate? Don’t be ridiculous,
she told herself. A Christmas tree farm was an appropriate place to visit this time of year.
She could not wrap her head around her anxiety. She had graduated from medical school, did a year of grueling internship, then four years of residency. She had seen and worked on some of the worst accident victims one could imagine. Why was this so daunting? It was just
a tree.
But, she had to admit to herself, it was really more than that. For the first time since she had met Roger, she was actually attracted to a man. Why did he have to be so handsome? And charming? Why? Why? Why? Kate was beginning to think she was losing her cool. Maybe it was the move. That was a very big deal. All the hoopla with her mom and dad, begging her to stay until she could find a job in Houston. Stay with them? Uh, no. Kate had a great relationship with her folks, but that was due, in part, to the fact that she didn’t live under the same roof. She was able to afford the special housing provided for residents, but now that her residency was over, she needed to find another place to live. Might as well start over somewhere—anywhere. As long as she could provide a good environment for Emma, Kate was up for anything. Luckily, the position opened up at Cedar Park, so she wouldn’t be forced to move all the way across the country.
Yes, that was it. She was just anxious over the big move and the new job. Okay, and the new guy. Then it dawned on her that she did not know his situation. Maybe he was married. Engaged. Involved. “Dang. What is wrong with me? It’s just a gosh-darn tree.” And the new guy. The anxiety of not knowing his situation and her eagerness to find out was making her edgy.
“Mommy? Why are you walking around in a circle?” Emma broke her mother’s restless spell.
“Oh, sweetie. Sorry. I was lost in my thoughts.”
“Whaddaya thinking about, Mama?” Emma looked up at her mother with wide eyes.
“I’m thinking about getting us a Christmas tree, that’s what!” Kate leaned over and scooped Emma into her arms.
“But you look worried. Are you worried about ‘the famous tree man’? Do you want to see him again?” Emma was certainly more in tune than Kate had imagined.
“He seemed very nice. And we might see him again, but I don’t know for sure.”
“I liked him, Mommy. He’s famous!” Emma wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck. “Can we go today? I want to start dec’rating our own tree. The ones at the church are really big, and they only let us put orm-a-ments on the lower branches.”
“It’s orn-a-ments,” Kate corrected her daughter’s consonant switching.
“Orn-a-ments,” Emma repeated, and continued with “K-E-V-I-N. See, I remembered!”
Kate laughed. “Yes, you did! Let’s have a little bite to eat, then we’ll take a ride, okay?”
“Yay! We’re getting a Christmas tree.... We’re getting a Christmas tree . . .” Emma repeated to herself with delight.
Kate took a deep breath and released it, hoping she would exhale some of her apprehension. “Grilled cheese?”
Emma squealed. “Yes! Mommy! Yes!”
“Go wash your hands, and I’ll whip up a couple of sandwiches, then we’re off to the tree farm!” Kate was feeling the beads of sweat form on her forehead. Get a grip! It’s just a dang tree.
Kate thought that if she kept repeating that mantra, she might actually come to believe it.
Kate fumbled around her desk, looking for the sheet of paper with the address. Where could she have put it? What if she couldn’t find it? Panic was starting to creep in again.
It’s the Cedar Park Tree Farm, you ninny!
Lifting the pile of mail that had arrived earlier, she revealed the slightly crumpled piece of paper. With a sigh of relief, she plugged the address into her phone so she could find it via her GPS. When the directions came up, she saw that it was almost eighteen miles away. “Just down the road.” Kate laughed to herself.
The two of them piled into their SUV, Kate making sure Emma’s car seat was secure.
“What kind of music shall we listen to on the way?”
“Silly, Mommy! Christmas music!” Emma was elated they were going on a new adventure and began to sing along with “Rocking around the Christmas Tree” as Kate pumped up the volume on the radio.
The earlier anxiety had turned to excitement. Kate was thrilled that Emma was in such a good frame of mind. She had been concerned that Emma would be homesick for Grandmama and Pop-Pop, but she was totally occupied by the new surroundings and the kids she had met at Sunday school.
“Mommy. There’s a girl at the school who I liked. Her name is Victoria. I think her pop-pop might be the pastor.”
“Would you like to invite her to come and decorate our tree?”
“Yes! That would be So! Much! Fun!” Emma clapped her hands to each word.
“I’m going to have to get her phone number from Mrs. Palmer. I’ll get in touch with her in the morning, okay?”
“Yes! Fun! Fun! Fun!” Emma was keeping with the beat of the music.
When they finally arrived at the tree farm, Kate wasn’t sure where she should go. It was much larger than she had expected. As she pulled into the main entrance, she recognized Jake from the day before.
“Howdy, ma’am! Nice to see you and your little girl! Sorry we almost stampeded you yesterday!” Jake removed his hat and shook the pine needles off.
“Yes, it was a bit hectic! I can’t wait to see all of them decorated. Exactly how many did you deliver?”
“Eighteen total!”
“Wow. That’s a lot of tinsel!” Kate was surreptitiously looking past Jake to see if she could spot Kevin.
“Is ‘Mr. Famous Tree Man’ here?” Emma blurted out. “K-E-V-I-N?” she spelled inquisitively.
“No. ’Fraid not. Something came up, and he asked me to hold down the fort for him. What can I help you with?” Jake’s disappointing news hit Kate like a brick.
“Oh—Oh . . .” Kate was stammering.
“A Christmas tree, Mommy!” Emma’s excitement wasn’t diluted by the absence of the tall, handsome, “famous tree man.” Her interest was only in a tree at the moment.
“What size ya lookin’ for?” It seemed like Jake was having to pry information from Kate.
“Gee. I’m not sure. We don’t have a very big house.” Kate was trying to mask her disappointment. “What do people normally get?”
“Somethin’ a little over six feet. This way you can cut it down a bit if need be. Can’t add it on!” Jake was amused at his attempt at humor.
Kate laughed nervously. “Well, I will leave it up to you.”
“Come with me, and I’ll show you some of my favorites.” Jake was being very accommodating, but Kate felt as if the wind had been knocked right out of her. At that point, she was indifferent. It’s just a tree, for heaven’s sake,
she reminded herself once again.
In contrast, Emma was giggling and squealing with delight over the magical atmosphere of the tree farm. “Mommy! Look! Angels!” Then a minute later, “Mommy! Look! Reindeer!” She was running among the trees with a freedom Kate had never before witnessed her daughter exhibit.
Kate took in another big inhale and reminded herself, This is for Emma. You’ll get your turn . . . one of these days.