CHAPTER FIVE
On Monday, Eileen was feeling a lot less bold as she drove up the quiet street on which Alan’s parents lived. It was a sedate middle-class neighborhood, very much like the one she’d grown up in on the other side of town.
The houses in this section were a little different. They were more in the shotgun style, where the front facing the road was narrow, but they went back far into their long, narrow lots and rose to be two full stories with an attic space that could easily—and often did—serve as a third-floor bedroom. Her mother had called the houses in this part of town slices of cake, which was, come to think of it, a very apt description of the long, narrow, high dwellings.
The house Eileen had grown up in, and all the houses around it in her part of town, were variations on the Cape Cod design. Sort of squat with two floors, the top of which usually sported two little dog-house style dormers that always looked like eyes to Eileen. If the dormers were the eyes, then the front door was the mouth and the steps leading down to the walkway, a lolling tongue.
Of course, Eileen had always had a rather vivid and fanciful imagination.
Case in point—she’d woken this morning from another one of those extremely intense dreams of her mother. She’d been having them off and on ever since her mother died, and they always left her feeling a strange mix of melancholy and happy at the same time.
Sometimes, it almost felt as if her mother’s spirit was reaching out to her, trying to console her and reassure her that all was well and that her mother was happy and still watching over her. They couldn’t speak in words in the dreams, but a lot could be said through expressions.
A smile from her beloved mother—even in a dream—was enough to make her feel joy in her heart. She’d been through so much. Eileen’s mother had suffered greatly toward the end, and it had been heartbreaking to watch her go downhill so rapidly from a cancer they hadn’t detected until it was much too late.
When the dreams had started up almost immediately, Eileen had, at first, just assumed her subconscious mind was trying to find a way to deal with the enormous upheaval in the family. But as the subject matter of the dreams changed from sorrow to reassurance and the images became intensely vivid—so much so that she remembered them for weeks or even months afterward with clarity—Eileen began to feel like maybe her mother was watching over her from the other side. Somehow.
Eileen had been friendly with a few of the psychic card readers who sometimes plied their trade in the pubs for a little extra cash. She’d even had her cards read a time or two, just for fun. But she hadn’t been really sure she believed in any of that stuff. Now, though, after the dreams… She might just believe that if there was a way to communicate from the other side, her mother would try to find it. And knowing her mom’s iron will, she’d succeed.
She sent a little prayer skyward as she pulled up in front of the address Alan had scrawled on the napkin. She just hoped that today would go well and that she wouldn’t embarrass herself. Alan was a hunky guy. Tall, powerfully built and incredibly attractive, he was the kind of guy a girl dreamed about but never quite met in real life.
Only…she had. A part of her couldn’t help but wonder if he wasn’t too good to be true. Eileen knew her self-confidence was sorely lacking, but he’d seemed to be interested. She only hoped he wasn’t playing some sort of game.
Speaking of games… A football suddenly sailed through the air in the long driveway at the side of the house, bouncing on the pavement as two burly guys raced after it. Eileen blinked. Either she was seeing double, or Jimmy wasn’t the only person she knew with a set of identical twins in his family.
She had been stepping out of her car in front of the house when they ran down the driveway, but seeing her, they stopped running and began a slow ambling walk that made them look like sexy cowboys. She almost laughed at the supreme confidence these two displayed. One bent to pick up the lost football and held it in his hands as they both approached her.
“How can we help you?” the closer one asked, a sinful smile on his face.
“Uh…I guess I’m looking for your brother,” she said a bit hesitantly as both twins wore identical questioning expressions.
“She’s too old for Micky,” the football holding twin said to his double.
“Too young for David,” the first twin added.
“Alan?” they asked in unison, their expressions now holding surprise and a hint of respect.
Eileen was saved from answering when the man himself bounded out of the door and down the steps at an easy lope. He had a grin on his face and was wearing casual but dressy slacks and designer sweater under a neat leather bomber jacket. He looked good enough to eat.
She felt her cheeks heat at the scandalous image that thought conjured.
“Hey, we know you,” football twin said, drawing her attention back to them.
“We do?” The other twin looked at his double in surprise.
“Yeah, we do. She’s the other girl in Jimmy Dougan’s band. Remember we saw them play at the festival Teri dragged us to last year?” Football twin shoved his brother in the arm with the ball.
“Oh, yeah…” The first twin turned back to look at Eileen more closely. “The one with the mellower voice. Your band was really good,” he offered, holding out his hand. “I’m Connor, and this is Rufus.”
Eileen shook hands with the first twin, and then, the other muscled him away. “Rufus was our dog. I’m Jason.” He threw his twin a dirty look as he shook hands with her, and she couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’m Eileen Murphy,” she told them.
“And she’s here for me,” Alan put in, walking up behind the twins. “So, vamoose.”
The twins groused good-naturedly but eventually retreated toward the house saying goodbye loud enough to get more of the Fraser clan looking out the windows and door to see what was going on. It was all in good fun, but Eileen did feel a bit conspicuous as she greeted Alan.
“I tried to warn you,” he told her with a contagious grin. “My family is a bit overwhelming at times.”
“And you’ve got a set of twins, just like Jimmy,” she added, watching the two tall identical twins head back down the driveway, tossing the football between them.
“How do you think I survived going through school with Jimmy’s brothers, Chris and Billy? I knew all their tricks from watching my own pesky set of clones. I even gave them pointers on a few things they hadn’t thought of that my brothers had tried out first.”
“You encouraged them?” She laughed as they walked slowly back toward her car. “Jimmy is forever telling stories about what his brothers got up to in school.”
“I personally think they got some of their best material from me. My brothers are far worse than Chris and Bill will ever be.”
“Maybe you just think that because they’re your brothers,” Eileen said.
“Yeah. You might have a point there,” Alan allowed.
He accompanied her around to the driver’s side of the car and opened her door for her then made sure she was settled before he zipped around to the passenger side of her small SUV and got in. His manners were certainly on display today so far, and she thought she could get used to a man being so solicitous of her comfort. It was nice.
She started driving, and the conversation flowed easily. She’d been a little concerned that they might not have anything to talk about, but he regaled her with funny stories about his brothers while she maneuvered toward the special surprise she’d set up.
When they entered the gates of a prestigious country club, he looked around, suddenly interested in their surroundings. He turned a questioning look on her when she pulled around the back of the big house and parked in the staff lot.
“I’m not a member here,” she told him, holding back a grin. “Couldn’t afford it. But the management allows me the occasional privilege since the band played a wedding here that would have gone all to hell if not for us keeping our mouths shut about some stuff that happened behind the scenes. Nothing illegal or dangerous,” she was quick to assure him, “but it was enough to earn me and the boys a lot of goodwill with the owners and their staff.”
Though they parked in the staff lot and went in the service entrance, after that, it was first class all the way. The manager of the dining room greeted Eileen by name and escorted them personally to a quiet table in a private nook where they had a lovely view of the golf course. The waiter turned out to be a fellow she knew from that previous incident, and his Irish brogue was in full effect as he told them all about the day’s specials.
“Dermot, this is my friend Alan,” Eileen introduced the young waiter, keeping things on a friendly basis. “Dermot is from County Kerry, like my grandpa,” she told Alan. “In fact, our families live near each other in Ireland.”
“Small world,” Alan observed as he exchanged greetings with the waiter.
“Too right,” Dermot agreed. “I’m just over taking a bit of a break from my schooling. A lot of the wait staff here are off the boat like me, so we all get along.” Dermot gave Eileen a jaunty wink then left with their drink orders.
“You have friends everywhere,” Alan observed, giving her a grin as the younger man departed.
“We play a lot of events here,” Eileen admitted. “A lot of their members are of Irish descent, and the manager hires a lot of kids like Dermot who are here in the U.S. for a while. Although, I’m not too sure whether we’ll be hired for as many events here as before. Mary was really into the traditional Irish music and did it so well. That’s what a lot of the older people in this club wanted to hear, so they kept hiring us. While we still do some of that material, I’m not sure we’re going to keep the band the way it was. We need a new direction now that Mary’s gone.”
“That’s got to be tough,” Alan said in a quiet voice that spoke to her of his understanding.
“Yeah, it is. But you started something the other week when you had me play that blues tune.” She sent him a shy smile.
“As I heard this past weekend. I’m glad to have heard you trying new things.”
“All thanks to you. Until I played that song of yours, we were just marking time, treading water. Not making any changes and not trying anything new. That song was the catalyst that got us all thinking and trying to grow again. It was a turning point.”
“I’m glad.”
Alan would have said more, but the waiter kid was back with their sodas. He took their orders with a bit more cheerful conversation, and Alan got the impression the garrulous Irishman didn’t get to talk with his patrons very often. He put on extra charm for Eileen, but then again, what red-blooded man wouldn’t? She was a beauty, and there was a fragility about her that brought out all of Alan’s protective instincts.
She was also easy to talk to. After the waiter left with their orders, Alan found himself telling Eileen about the decision facing him. He hadn’t really opened up to anyone about the precipice on which he stood. He’d come home to think, and he hadn’t wanted to lay any burdens on his family. The decision to stay in or get out of the Navy was something he had to make for himself.
“It’s not that I don’t love the job. I do,” he told her. “It’s what I’ve worked and trained for my whole life, it seems, but it’s getting harder and harder losing friends and dealing with the fallout. A lot of guys my age are getting out, even with the bonuses and perks they’re offering to keep me in.”
What was it about this woman that made him spew his guts out like this? He wasn’t sure, but it felt really good to talk to her. She listened without judging and offered a sympathetic ear and the occasional question without trying to immediately find a solution. Sometimes, he just needed a sounding board without any real input. His family was all too eager to solve all his problems for him, which only got annoying in a situation like this, much as he loved them for trying to help.
“I bet they don’t want to lose you and all they’ve invested in your training, plus your experience,” she offered. Just the right thing to say that helped him spill more while not offering unwanted advice or solutions based on only a tiny bit of all the available information. She was a treasure.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “I got the speech from my commanding officer about how much the Navy has put into me and how much they expect to get out. But he was also man enough to admit that, if I was having serious doubts, I should take the time off to check out how the civilian world fits me now. A lot of guys have a hard time getting back to their lives after going through a bit of what I’ve been through these past few years.”
“I bet,” she agreed, taking a sip of her soda. Calm acceptance. Just what he needed.
“Of course, others have it worse. I’m still in one piece and still breathing. There are quite a few who either didn’t make it back alive or lost pieces of themselves along the way—and not all suffer from physical injuries. PTSD is nothing to mess with.” He thought about the guys he’d seen suffering from flashbacks and worse, and his heart went out to them, one and all.
He’d seen some hellacious shit in his time, but so far, he was holding it together. He talked to the men he knew who’d been there when he needed to work things out. Just as he’d listened to some of his buddies when they needed a non-judgmental ear. They’d helped each other through, but occasionally, there was someone who needed more than just the home-grown help friends could offer.
“My uncle was in Viet Nam,” she told him, surprising him with her words. “They called it something different back then, but he told me last year, he still has flashbacks on occasion. He can’t really watch war movies or even those documentaries that use real footage from back then. It gets to him.”
“No shame in that,” Alan was quick to say. “I hope he’ll check out the help available at the V.A. if it gets worse.”
“I think he does go there, but he doesn’t really talk about it. I was surprised when he opened up to me that much, but we’ve grown closer since my mom passed. He was really close with her and took her loss as hard as I did,” she admitted, seeming a little self-conscious.
Alan reached across the table, placing his hand over hers. “It’s no crime to miss someone you loved. Grief is hard.”
She swallowed visibly and gave him a tenuous smile. “Yeah, it’s a bitch,” she agreed.
Alan moved back as the waiter returned, breaking the moment of connection. He placed fresh green salads down in front of them then left, but not before asking if everything was to their satisfaction so far.
“So, have you figured out yet if you still fit in the civilian world?” she asked once the waiter was gone and they’d started on their salads.
“My family makes it pretty easy to feel like I’ve always got a place here. I think it’s different for guys who don’t have as big a support system as I do in my folks and siblings. My old school friends have really gone out of their way to welcome me, too, which was really nice.”
“Those were the guys you had with you at The Rose the first time you came in, right?” she asked.
“Yep. We all went to high school together and are still friends after all this time. My friend, Kyle, retired from the Army a year or two ago, and he’s now a cop. That’s a career path I might consider, but there are a few other things I could do, too.”
“Such as?” She gave him a look over the top of her glass that probably wasn’t meant to be flirty, but definitely had that impact on him. How’d he get so lucky to take this gorgeous angel out to lunch?
“Well, I’m at home in the water, and I’m certified for all kinds of diving. There are a lot of places on the south shore of Long Island that would hire me for salvage diving or other kinds of underwater work.” He thought through his options. “I also have facility with a few obscure languages that could be useful in a business or even a security setting. I’ve heard about a few guys who went from the Teams to Homeland Security jobs or even the CIA. Not that I really want to be some kind of super spy going all over the world on missions. I get enough of that now. If I get out of the Navy, I think I’d want to stay home for a bit and dial the danger level down somewhat. At least for a while.”
“Don’t you fear getting bored? I suspect you lead a rather exciting life in the Navy. Would it be hard to give up the adrenaline rush?”
He almost laughed at that one. “You’d be surprised how much hurry up and wait is part of my typical day. A large part of our time is spent training or planning. Actually executing a plan takes way less time than rehearsing it. That’s when the adrenaline kicks in, but by that time we’ve planned and prepared so well, it’s not really the rush you’re thinking of. It’s more a feeling of satisfaction when things go to plan and a hyper-aware problem-solving mode when things don’t.”
They kept talking about him, mostly, as their lunch was served. And later, when Dermot brought out heaping dessert plates, Alan was surprised to realize that he’d been talking about himself pretty much non-stop. She must be some kind of witch to have managed that one because Alan wasn’t known as the chatty guy in his family. Far from it. She was just that good a listener.
“I’m really sorry to have monopolized the conversation. I don’t know what got into me,” he apologized as they had a final cup of coffee.
“You needed to talk it out. I understand. And I’m honored that you chose to tell me all that stuff,” she told him, and the note of sincerity in her voice made him feel a bit better about his uncharacteristic chattiness. “You’ve got a big decision ahead of you, and I can understand why it’s preying on your mind. I only wish I could help.”
“But you have. Just letting me ramble has been a huge help, even though I’m sure you were bored to tears.” He had to tell her a bit more, just to justify what had gone before. “My family is too quick to want to solve all my problems for me. I love them, but they don’t know everything—they can’t know everything—that I’ve faced and will continue to face, if I decide to stay in the service. They really can’t solve this one. It’s a decision I have to make myself. But you…just listening and being a sounding board… I can’t tell you how much that’s helped me put my thoughts in order. So, thank you.”
“You’re very welcome,” she told him graciously as they finished their coffee.
Dermot stopped by the table with a big grin on his face and asked them how they’d enjoyed their meal. When they both assured him it was really great, he beamed.
“The chef will be glad to know,” he said, his brogue in full evidence. “And I’ve been told to tell you it’s on the house. Your bill is all taken care of.”
Alan was surprised, but Eileen looked truly shocked. “But I was supposed to treat him because he gave me a ridiculous tip!” she told Dermot, who seemed amused by her reaction.
“I never really agreed to that,” Alan put in, enjoying her reaction. “Is there someone we should thank?” he asked Dermot while Eileen sputtered.
“Your benefactors prefer to remain anonymous, but I can tell you on the sly that this comes right from the top. Your girl here has done this place a good turn on occasion, and considering what’s happened in the past few weeks…” Dermot paused, and they all knew he meant the death of her friend, Mary. “Well, they wanted to do something nice for Eileen here. Lunch is the least they could offer.”
“Please tell them from me that the gesture is very much appreciated,” Alan told the younger man, who then turned to Eileen and spoke in low tones.
“My deepest condolences on your loss,” he told her, and Alan could see Eileen’s eyes widen in surprise then fill with tears that she refused to let fall. “We all liked Mary. She was a special one, and she did the old tunes proud, even if she was a bloody American.” Dermot winked again, and Eileen chuckled, her eyes shining.
“She hated it when you called her that,” Eileen told Dermot.
“I only said it to get her goat. Worked every time.” He smiled and left them.
“Well, I can’t pay for lunch, it seems, but at least I can leave that boy a healthy tip.” So saying, Eileen tried to dig into her purse, but Alan stayed her hand.
“I’ve got it,” he insisted. “You know, I wasn’t going to let you pay for lunch.”
“But, the hundred you gave me—”
“No way, sweetheart. I gave you that because you went out of your way to do something nice for me. It was the only way I had at the time to show you my appreciation, and that song you sang just for me was worth every cent.” He talked right over her protestations as he slipped his billfold from his pocket and selected a nicely-sized note for the Irish waiter. “Now then, this is for your buddy, Dermot, and that settles it.” He put the money under the rim of his saucer and stood, holding the chair politely for Eileen as she rose.
“This isn’t really fair,” she protested as they made their way out of the dining room. “I was supposed to take you out for lunch.”
“Well, if you really want to make it up to me, you could agree to join me for dinner tomorrow,” he offered. “But before you get any ideas, you’re not paying for that one either.”
They walked out the back door to her car together as she shook her head. “I feel like I’m getting away with something here.”
He walked her around to the driver’s side, and she leaned back against her door without opening it. He loomed close, the moment suddenly intimate.
“I assure you,” he said, moving closer as the moment shrunk to just the two of them, in the dappled sunshine of the quiet parking lot. “I’m the one getting everything he wants here. That is, as long as you agree to see me again.” He rested one hand on the roof of the SUV as he moved closer to her. “I don’t know what it is about you, but I have to be honest here. I’m very attracted to you, Eileen. I can’t seem to stay away, and I hope you’re feeling something along those lines, too.”
She looked up into his eyes and smiled. “Yeah, I like you, too, Alan.” His heart soared, but then, she put a staying hand on his chest when he would have kissed her. “Just promise me one thing. Let’s keep this light, okay? You’re only here on leave. You might be going back to the Navy soon, and I’ve suffered enough loss for a while. I don’t want to get hurt.”
That little plea nearly broke his heart. Instead of kissing her hot and heavy the way he’d intended a moment ago, he just took her in his arms and held her. He waited until she melted against him, and then, he pulled back to look into her eyes once more.
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you,” he tried to assure her. “I just want to spend time with you. Get to know you better. See where it goes.”
“I guess I can live with that,” she told him, nodding shyly.
He couldn’t help himself, then. He leaned in and kissed her. A gentle kiss that hid the fire that burned in his blood for her. He didn’t want to scare her off. And, she was right. He might not be around in a couple of weeks. It wouldn’t be fair to her to get involved then fly the coop. He had to be honorable about this.
But the attraction he felt for her was hard to deny. She was sweet to kiss and felt so right in his arms when he looped them around her waist and pulled her against his body. Small, soft, feminine and delicious in every way.