CHAPTER SIX
Alan kissed like a dream. While one corner of her mind worried about where this might lead, the vast majority of her being was thrilling to his touch and his kiss. For a big guy, he was oh-so-gentle with her. He didn’t pounce. His was more of a sneak attack, where he started the kiss softly and let the passion build until they were both breathing heavily when he finally pulled away.
The sound of a car roaring away from the lot woke her to the fact that they’d been observed. Had he pulled back because of that? Who had seen them? Was this going to get around the grapevine? All those thoughts and more crashed into her as he let her go, but the smile on his face eased her worries.
“You’re beautiful, Eileen. Thanks for the lunch…and the kiss.”
He let her go completely, plucking the keys she still held out of her hand and hitting the button that would release the locks on her car’s doors. He then opened her door for her and ushered her into the driver’s seat with due care, even reaching in to slip her seatbelt around her while her head still spun from their kiss.
He had a satisfied smile on his face as he closed the door then walked around the car to get in on the passenger side. Once he was buckled into his seat, he turned to face her.
“You okay to drive?”
His chuckle warmed her and made her feel self-conscious at the same time. She wanted to swat him, but instead, she started the car and shot him a mock disapproving look as she put the car in gear and backed out of the parking spot.
“Where to now?” she asked, not willing to end their date just yet. “I mean… Do you have anything you have to get back for right away?”
“Nope,” he told her, sitting back in his seat. “I’m free as a bird until about four o’clock. What did you have in mind?”
“Want to take a walk in the park and work off some of that lunch we just had? I know it’s a little cold out, but the sun is shining.” She already had her car pointed toward the big county park that had a pretty walking path around a central lake where kids of all ages raced radio-controlled boats in the summer. It was a favorite spot of hers.
“Cold doesn’t bother me as long as you’ll be warm enough. A walk in the park sounds really nice,” he replied. “One thing I miss when I’m home is the physical activity. I spend most of my time with friends and family, which is great, but I don’t get my usual workout.”
“Physical fitness must be a big part of your job,” she observed as she drove. He certainly was a specimen of a man. Sculpted muscle everywhere you looked and not an ounce of flab on the guy.
“More like a natural byproduct of the training we do,” he told her. “I’ve never been one of those guys who spends hours in a gym every day. I’m happier working hard outdoors, or playing hard. My brothers and I usually get in at least one game of football during my rare visits home. They may not be Navy SEALs, but they’re brutal.”
She laughed at his over-the-top description of his siblings. “You’re really close with your family, aren’t you?”
He shrugged. “As close as I can be with my job. We were all pretty tight when we were younger, but we’re all going in our own directions now.”
She turned onto the road that led through the park and then chose the parking lot closest to the lake path. They talked about his family a bit more, and he regaled her with a story about some prank the twins had pulled when they were small. He kept her laughing as she parked the car, then they got out and headed for a stroll down to the lake.
The park wasn’t exceedingly busy in the middle of a weekday with the weather so chilly, but there was the odd jogger or cyclist on the paths. And lots of Canada geese had left their mark before waddling down to the water to swim around majestically alongside some of their other water-based feathered friends.
“I should’ve brought some breadcrumbs to feed to the ducks,” Eileen thought aloud. “My mother used to bring me here when I was a little girl. I loved feeding the ducks. There weren’t so many geese back then.”
Right at that moment, Eileen felt a tear at the back of her eye that she didn’t let fall. Her mother’s presence was so strong here, where they’d formed some of her earliest childhood memories. It felt right to share this special place with Alan, which she hadn’t expected. She had never brought a man here. She’d seldom come here with anyone, though she often drove down here to walk the path and commune with nature—and her mother’s spirit.
“You must miss her a lot,” Alan said quietly.
She nodded, swallowing back the emotion that threatened to escape. It had been almost a year. She shouldn’t still be so incredibly sad all the time. Should she?
“I know it sounds trite, but she really was my best friend,” Eileen said softly. “Most of my friends envied the relationship me and my mother shared. We were more like sisters than mother-daughter. We did everything together, and she unofficially adopted most of my close friends. Heaven knows, Mary spent more time at my house, talking to my mom about things, than she ever did at home. She and her mother were like oil and water. Some of the things she did to her own child ought to be classified as psychological warfare.” Eileen got angry just thinking about some of the stunts Mary’s mother had pulled.
It was better to be angry than sad. At least, for right now. Anger, she could channel and deal with. Sadness just made her want to cry, and she didn’t want to break down in front of Alan on their first date. He’d think she was a nut.
“Really?” Alan asked. “What sort of thing do you think qualifies for that?”
Eileen thought about the many things Mary’s mother had done to undermine her child. Most of the stuff was too personal to share on a first date, but there was one thing…
“What would you think if your mother traipsed into your bedroom, while you were sleeping in on a Saturday morning, with a real estate agent and prospective buyers in tow?” Eileen posed the question.
“Well, that’s…” Alan seemed to think it through. “That’s pretty harsh. A definite invasion of privacy. And it had to be embarrassing for your friend. Didn’t her mother warn her she’d be showing the house that day?”
“Alan, she didn’t even know her parents were thinking about selling!” Yeah, anger was good. “And it wasn’t like she never spoke to them. At that point, she was working with her father’s band every weekend. They’d played a long gig the night before. He hadn’t said a word. Neither had her mother, and she’d been sitting in the audience all night long, chatting with her cronies. That woman is a piece of work. She’d forbidden Mary’s father from mentioning it, and I think he’s more afraid of his wife than he was of embarrassing his daughter. That should tell you something.”
“Ouch.” Alan winced. “That is kind of messed up.”
“That family put the fun in dysfunctional. All smiles and showpiece perfection on the outside and a writhing mass of irrational behavior on the inside. Of course, her mother drinks a bit too much. I always wondered if that’s where Mary learned it from. Her mother hides her drinking, and so did Mary, at first. Of course, it ended up killing her…one way or another.”
Anger could only last so long. The sadness was back, and along with it, a heap of regret.
They walked along the perimeter of the lake slowly, the cold air making their breath mist in front of them just slightly. It was brisk, but not uncomfortable, and there were others out, enjoying the sunshine on this cool winter day.
“That’s a really sad way to go,” he observed. “At least in the Navy, when we lose a friend, it’s usually due to enemy activity. There’s someone to blame, and work to stop. Plus, we all knew what we signed on for when we volunteered for the service.”
“It’s still got to be hard, though,” she said quietly, knowing that losing a friend—no matter the circumstances—was never easy.
Alan paused their ambling walk and turned to look out over the lake. He sighed heavily and shook his head once, just slightly.
“Yeah, it is.”
She stood with him, looking out over the calm water, letting her mind drift through the sadness and out into infinity, it seemed. She came here to think when she had the time, but she’d never brought someone with her like this. Someone who understood the thoughts that drove her to this place of quiet contemplation.
Being with Alan felt right, though. Sharing this moment of silent thought. He was easy to be with, and he understood a lot of what had taken over her life of late. The sorrow and the pain of loss. The contemplation of how to move on with life and what direction to take. They were both standing at a crossroads in their lives. Not many of her friends understood it, but this man…this soldier she’d only just met recently… He got it. He understood. He commiserated.
And miracle of miracles… He made her feel a little bit better about it all. She only hoped she could do the same for him.
At length, he turned toward her and offered a tilted smile. “We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” He didn’t wait for her to respond to his rhetorical question. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get so serious on you. This just seems like a perfect spot for quiet contemplation.”
“It is. And don’t be sorry.” She linked her arm through his, feeling brave.
She was never one to make the first move on a man, but something about the look in his eyes made her want to offer comfort. Even just the small comfort of a human connection.
He turned, and they resumed their stroll around the small lake. They talked of less serious things and made plans to have dinner together the following day. By the time they’d completed one circuit of the pathway around the water, Eileen was shivering a bit, and Alan had put his arm around her shoulders.
She felt tingly inside, walking so close to him with his arm around her. Despite the winter coats between them, there was an air of intimacy that made her feel special. Alan had a way of sharing her sorrow and smoothing it over a bit, so the edges didn’t feel so rough and abrasive. He was a calming influence. A steady rock in the turbulent turns her life had taken of late.
Should she feel so close to him so soon? He was still essentially a stranger. But there was something so compelling about him. More than just the muscles and the good looks. There was something steady and honorable in his core that drew her like a magnet. Was she just being fanciful? Had it been so long since a man had noticed her that she fell like a ninny at the first sign of interest?
She didn’t think she was that big a fool. Sure, Mary had used up all the oxygen in the room whenever she was there. Men had naturally gravitated toward her—the showgirl, the glamour queen, the pretty distraction. Few had given Eileen the time of day after seeing Mary. Eileen had gotten used to being somewhat invisible. A show prop to set off Mary’s sparkle. She hadn’t minded. Not at the time.
Only now did she come to realize how easily she’d given up her own dreams to let Mary lead the band—and her best friend—wherever Mary wanted to go. It had been so long since Eileen had called the shots in her own life, she wasn’t really sure how to deal with it all.
And to know she had a man’s full attention, with no looming competition from Mary… Eileen felt disloyal even thinking that way, but it was the truth she could no longer deny. Mary had eclipsed her friend so many times, letting Eileen fade into darkness so Mary’s own light could shine brighter. It hadn’t felt like it at the time, but in hindsight…
“I’m really glad you came back to The Rose the other night,” Eileen told him when she realized she’d been silent too long. They were walking back toward the parking lot and the car, but she didn’t want this time together to end.
“I couldn’t stay away,” he told her, stopping and turning her to face him, still keeping his arm around her.
He brought the other hand up to cradle her cheek, and she saw him draw closer. His intent was clear, but she didn’t back away. She wanted another kiss.
Right there on the pathway, he kissed her for the second time, and it was no less spectacular than the first. Both of his arms came around her and drew her close to his body. She was a lot shorter than he was, but somehow, they fit together perfectly… As if they’d been made just for each other.
When he took the kiss deeper, she went with him, wholeheartedly. Her body tingled, and the cold of the sunny December day was forgotten. Any chill she might’ve been starting to feel was quickly overcome by the fire Alan’s kiss ignited in her blood.
The park wasn’t exactly deserted, but nothing interfered this time to break them apart…except maybe for the need to breathe…and stop the world spinning. When Alan drew back to look deep into her eyes, Eileen was gasping both physically and mentally. She was caught by the fire in his eyes. Fire that echoed the flames licking through her veins.
“Please tell me you were okay with that,” he whispered.
Floored that he could be wondering, she smiled at him. “Any more okay and I’d have melted into a little puddle on the ground.”
He laughed aloud at her words and hugged her close, just holding her for a long, happy moment. “I’m so glad we’re on the same page. I don’t know where this is leading, but I want to find out.”
Regardless of the problems that they might still face, she couldn’t deny what was in her heart. “I do, too.”
*
The angel looked down at the couple embracing in the park and smiled.